Damn him!
What was he doing to her? She had left him once, and she had learned slowly and painfully how to live without him. She had to stop him now, before she forgot those hard-learned lessons. She had to escape!
Suddenly she didn’t need to. He lifted his face from hers, slowly breaking the kiss, breaking the sweet contact between them. She stared at him, longing to tell him that she hated him, but the words wouldn’t come. Her lips were wet from his, and he was still pressed against her intimately.
“Lucia, I was desperate for you then. And do you know what? I still think you have wonderful, expressive eyes. I still think you’re beautiful. You have the softest flesh and the most tempting lips in the entire world.” He paused, sighing softly. “But…”
He smiled and sat away from her, though he was still straddling her. “But I can control myself. I can promise to stay away from you. Can you really promise to keep your hands off me?”
Lucia emitted a sound of pure rage, instinctively striking out to dislodge him. He laughed and caught her wrists again. “Hey! Calm down, Ms. Lorenzo.”
“If you have such great control, get off me right now!”
Still holding her wrists and keeping a wary eye on her, he stood, then moved to help her to her feet. She was so determined not to accept his help that she only stood up when he literally dragged her into position.
“Uh-uh, control, Ms. Lorenzo!” he said, laughing.
“Control? You talk about control after all the things you did?”
“But I didn’t walk out in the middle of the night, Lucia. No word, no explanation. You’re the one who did that.” He was still holding her warily, but his laughter was gone. His words were soft, but somehow dangerous.
“Ryan…”
“I’ll let you go. But do yourself a favor this time, Lucia. Don’t run.”
He released her, and she stood dead still, her fists clenched, her jaw locked, shaking. She stared at him, seething, yet all she could think of was a single word. “Idiot!” she raged, then spun around, heading for the door.
“Nice to see you, too, Lucia.”
There was a pillow on the sofa. She picked it up and hurled it his way with the force of a military missile.
He caught it and laughed softly. “Temper, Lucia. Watch that temper. Calm down before you start driving. You can be dangerous when you’re in that mood. Believe me, I know, and I wouldn’t want to have an accident on my conscience.”
“You don’t need to worry about it. You have nothing to do with me at all. I’m not even angry anymore. And I’m not driving anywhere,” she lied. She was more than angry; she was livid. She was so furious that she was afraid she would pull the door right off its hinges when she tried to leave.
“You’re not?”
“No, I’m not.”
“You’re not running?”
“I never did run, I walked.”
“I thought you were going back to Atlanta.”
“No, Ryan, I’m not going anywhere. I guarantee I can keep my hands off you. You’re the one with the problem.”
“Oh, I don’t know. You are quite beautiful, but then, other women come with the same basic equipment. Maybe not as good as yours, but passable…”
She paused at the door, pulling her anger tightly under control, then smiled at him as sweetly as she could. “Other men come with equipment, too, Mr. Dandridge. And who knows? It just might be better than yours…”
Still smiling sweetly, she watched rage darken his features, and something inside her exulted. She had made him mad; she’d really gotten to him. She’d hurt him right in the ego, she thought happily.
It felt good. She threw open the door and walked out of his apartment.
“Lucia!”
She slammed the door and, smiling, headed for the elevator.
CHAPTER 3
Down at the beach, Lucia found her cousin Theresa, her husband Bill and their four children. Jimmy and Giles were ten-year-old twins, eternally precocious. Serena was eight, and an eternal plague, according to the twins. Tracy, the baby, had turned three. Lucia was Tracy’s godmother, and although she was crazy about all the children, it was the baby she’d been longing to see.
Tracy, in a little blue bikini, was running back and forth to the water’s edge, laughing with delight as the waves came in and out. The boys saw Lucia and came running to hug her. They had reached the squirming age, she realized when she tried to kiss them in return. They wouldn’t hold still for kisses anymore. Serena would, though. Blushing and happy, she attached herself to Lucia. Tracy wandered over on her chubby little legs and went into gales of laughter when Lucia kissed and hugged her. Finally she made it to Bill, one of her very favorite in-laws, and then her cousin, Theresa.
“Lucia, we’re so glad you could come!” Theresa assured her.
“It’s been too long,” Bill agreed, sitting beside his wife and casually casting an arm over her shoulder.
“And isn’t this glorious?” Theresa waved to indicate the shimmering Atlantic, the warm sand and the brilliant sun. “It’s just wonderful.”
“It’s hot,” Tracy complained.
“Hey! There’s Dina!” Theresa said, jumping to her feet.
They went through the whole thing again, everyone kissing everyone and laughing happily. Dina, Joe’s sister and Aunt Faith’s youngest daughter, was, Lucia had always thought, one of the most beautiful women she had ever met. Her eyes were huge and luminous, their color a fascinating shade between blue and gray, and her hair was nearly jet black. Lucia had once heard that it was impossible for hair to be really black; if that was so, Dina had the closest thing Lucia had ever seen. Dina’s hair was short and sleek and scissor cut, and it fell in soft curls around her face. Dina was fun to be with, too. She was totally irreverent about almost everything, and knew how to tease her mother and her aunts mercilessly. She loved to dance and to party, and in general—though she was very selective when it came to her intimate relations—she loved men.
“Lucia, Lucia, ooh, I’m so glad you decided to come! I hated the idea of spending the entire time with my brother.”
“Poor Joe.” Bill sighed.
Dina kicked him. “What fun could I possibly have out with my brother all of the time?”
“Well, there’s us, you know.”
“Staid marrieds.”
“I resent that!” Theresa protested.
“Well, you have the kids—”
“Yeah, and just for that, you’re going to get to baby-sit one night,” Theresa assured Dina.
“We’re too old for baby-sitters!” Jimmy protested.
“Okay, Auntie Dina can brat sit, then,” their mother warned them, moving her mirrored sunglasses down her nose so the boys could get a good look at the threat in her eyes.
“Dina, Dina!” Tracy said, racing over to this new cousin.
Lucia started to laugh. “Dina and I promise to give you two a few nights. You can go out somewhere wonderfully romantic and come back when the sun is rising, how’s that?”
“Sounds great,” Bill said, offering her a smile that said thank you beautifully.
“With my luck, I’ll just get pregnant again,” Theresa said, sighing. “Still, it really is great to be here all together, huh?”
“Yes, it is. It’s great,” Lucia agreed. She nuzzled little Tracy’s brown curls and thought that it was darned good to be together, and that she wasn’t going to let Ryan Dandridge ruin a single minute of it.
“Hey!” Dina, who’d been sprawled out in a skimpy white bikini that did great things for her lithe, tanned body, suddenly sat up. “My God, it’s Ryan, isn’t it?”
Little trickles of anxiety rippled along Lucia’s spine.
Dina was right. It was Ryan, far down the beach. He stopped to talk to a man and a woman stretched out on beach chairs with drinks in their hands, then started toward the water again. He looked great, Lucia thought. As if he had been created to wear swim trunks and run along the sand. He was da
rk and athletic, and even on a beach filled with handsome men, he drew attention and then admiration.
Lucia thought Dina was going to purr. “I haven’t seen Ryan in a long time. Not in a long, long time.”
“But you know him?” Lucia said.
Dina cast her a quick, sharp gaze. “Sure I know him. He and Joe have been friends for years. Have you met him yet?”
“Yes.”
“Kind of makes your tongue hang out, doesn’t he?” Dina said cheerfully.
“Well, I don’t know,” Lucia said.
“Oh, Lucia!” Theresa laughed.
“And what’s the matter with me?” Bill asked his wife.
“Nothing, sweetheart, nothing. He’s just—well, he’s still got all his hair. Maybe that’s it.”
Dina and Lucia both started to laugh; then Bill joined in and worriedly fingered the thinning strands on top of his head. Theresa assured him that she had always thought of Yul Brynner as an incredibly sexy man. Then she threw her arms around him, sending him crashing into the sand. “I love you, no matter what, I promise.”
A moment later the kids fell over the two of them, and then everyone got in on the act, and they were all laughing, with sand in their mouths and in their eyes.
Sobering, Lucia realized that this was why she had left Ryan, that the special thing that Theresa and Bill shared was what she wanted. The children, the laughter, the happily-ever-after kind of love. Ryan was striking and hard and fascinating; he was rich color and tremendous passion, but she was certain that he couldn’t be harnessed and held.
And she couldn’t let herself love him, because the two of them couldn’t have that special something she had always believed to be right. She had loved him with all her heart, and she had dreamed of marriage and kids and the works. She had lived her life believing in love and commitment; she couldn’t change things now.
“Hey, how about lunch up at our apartment?” Theresa suggested. She made a face. “Hot dogs and chips, but lots of cold beer and coolers.”
“It sounds great,” Lucia said. She swept Tracy into her arms, and rescued a crab from Jimmy’s fascinated scrutiny. “Lunch, guys. We’ll come back down later.”
Theresa and Dina gathered up the blankets, the sun block, the pails and T-shirts, and they all headed toward the elevator. A strange feeling teased the back of Lucia’s neck, making her pause and look back, like Lot’s wife.
Ryan was just coming out of the water. His eyes fell on her, and he set his hands on his hips, droplets sluicing over his chest and down his long, hard thighs.
“Hi, Ryan!” Tracy called.
Ryan waved to her.
“Come to lunch?” Tracy demanded.
Ryan shook his head, and his eyes met Lucia’s. “Some other time!” he promised Tracy. Then his eyes skimmed Lucia’s form, from the top of her head to her bare, sandy feet, and she felt suddenly naked. She was barely clad to begin with and, of course, he knew what lay beneath the little bit she was wearing. Despite herself, she began to flush, and she turned around very quickly.
She wondered just how well Dina had known Ryan, and no matter how she fought it, she was jealous.
After lunch Theresa decided that since Tracy wanted a nap, she was going to take one herself. Lucia thought that a nap sounded good, considering that she’d gotten very little sleep the night before. Dina and she walked the few steps to their own condominium. “Joe and Al are going to be right above us. Aunt Faith and Aunt Charity are next door. Hope and Paul are upstairs, and they’re going to have Frank and Ellen and the kids. Of course, they’re hardly kids anymore, since they’re both in college.”
“I know. It seems time really flies, doesn’t it?”
Dina nodded. “I can’t believe that Ellen and Frankie have grown kids. Did they start really early, or are we starting really late?”
Lucia laughed. “Frank is twelve years older than you are and fourteen years older than me.”
Dina shrugged, walking into the condo and casually tossing her beach bag onto the couch. “Lucia, do you know that I’ll be thirty next month?”
“Yes. Are you hinting around for a present or a sympathy card?”
Dina wagged a finger at her. “Go ahead, laugh. You’re right behind me, and you won’t be so amused if you get to my age without being—”
“Married?” Lucia said, startled that Dina would say such a thing. Dina Donatello had been at the top of her class in high school and again in college. She had a thriving design studio of her own in Boston. Over the years, Lucia had often done furniture restorations for her cousin’s clients, and she had always been convinced that nothing would ever mean more to Dina than her business.
Dina shrugged. “It’s funny, isn’t it? I watched Ellen and Theresa and the others with their kids. I watched them sit home without two cents to rub together, worrying about bottles and diapers, and I thought I didn’t want any part of it, not a bit. Now, all of a sudden, I do want a family. I want a little cherub just like Tracy, or a little lady like Serena, or even a pair of scamps like those twins. And I’m wondering if it isn’t too late.”
“Dina, it’s never too late.”
“Don’t kid yourself. It can be too late. Anyway, this year I’m going to start concentrating on finding the right guy, and when I do find him, I intend to latch on—hard. I suggest you do the same thing.”
“Dina, I don’t think I was actively avoiding the right guy to begin with,” Lucia told her cousin. She hesitated, and Dina gave her a stricken look. Lucia had been married once, long ago, when she had gotten out of high school. It had been a disaster; both of them had been far too young for marriage, and she had gone through a long and painful annulment for her parents’ sake. “I—I just don’t want to make a mistake again, that’s all. I want someone who loves me as much as I love him, someone who wants the commitment of marriage as much as I do.” She sat down and hugged a pillow to her chest. “Someone who wants children.”
Dina stood up, smiling again, ever the optimist. “Well, we’ll work on that as soon as we get back to our normal lives. While we’re here, let’s party. What’s the nightlife like?”
Lucia laughed. “I’ve never been here before. We’ll have to explore and find out. But not tonight. The Three Graces have planned a barbecue by the pool.”
“Oh, no. Mother has been at it again.” Dina groaned.
“It’s the first night. It’s a great idea for us all to be together.”
“Okay. But if we survive the first three hours, we get to head out, what do you say?”
Lucia yawned and promised that they would go out. Dina headed down the hall. “Hey!” she called out. “What luxury!”
“What are you talking about?”
Dina reappeared in front of her. “There are two bedrooms here. One for you, one for me!”
“What?” Lucia felt crimson color come to her face. Two bedrooms. And she had crawled in with Ryan. “What?” she repeated, jumping up.
“Lucia, you’re all flushed. You need some rest.”
“I’m fine!” She wasn’t fine. She was humiliated, but, thankfully, Dina didn’t pursue the subject.
“My own room? Not that I mind sharing with you, but I do love space! I’m off!” Dina called.
Lucia didn’t bother to go to her room. She flopped down on the couch, stuffed a pillow behind her head and lay there burning with embarrassment until, finally, she fell asleep.
Somewhere in the middle of her nap she began to dream. Ryan was in her dream, which, even in the dream, didn’t surprise her very much. He had never been far from her thoughts, and now she had seen him again, so he was dead center in her mind, and in her heart.
He was on the beach, wearing the same black swim trunks he had worn that morning. He had already been in the water, and he was walking toward her purposefully, and though he didn’t smile, there was a devilish light in his eyes that made her grow warm inside, the bold, blatant, sexual stare that never failed to send her senses reeling. The sun was hot
, gleaming down on her, and they were all alone on the beach. The sound of the pounding surf cascaded all around them, and she knew that she was waiting, just waiting for him to come to her again. In a moment she would rise. She would stretch out her arms to him. She would rise, wet and sleek herself from the surf, and she would cry out and run into his arms….
“Ryan!”
Her cousin Dina’s deep, sultry voice entered her dream from somewhere behind her. “Ryan, it’s so nice to see you.”
Ryan wasn’t coming at her at all. He was running right past her open arms, as if he hadn’t even seen her. He was turning his hungry stare on Dina. He was reaching out for Dina. Taking Lucia’s beautiful and dazzling cousin into his arms.
“No, no, come in! I saw you on the beach. Ryan, it’s been ages!”
Lucia started and realized that her cousin’s voice wasn’t coming from her dream at all. Dina was at the door to the condo—and Ryan Dandridge really was in her arms.
Dina kissed and hugged him effusively, but when he kissed and hugged her back, it was difficult for Lucia to tell whether he was just as effusive. He was trying to talk as she greeted him.
“I came up for your mother. She said the two of you were late, that they already had the burgers on the barbecue, and that you were to come down right now.”
“Okay, we’re coming. You going to be there?”
Lucia managed to sit up. She was still in her swimsuit, and her hair had dried like a giant hedge. She was certain that she looked like something the swamp creature had dragged in.
Ryan looked past Dina, right at her. She stared at him, dazed.
“I, er, I wasn’t really planning on coming down,” he said.
“But you have to!” Dina must have sensed that Lucia had awakened. She turned around, saw Lucia and laughed. “You two have met, right? Help me! Convince Ryan that he just has to come downstairs and join the barbecue.”
Lucia in Love Page 4