by Helen Lacey
“Everything okay?” he asked.
Ash nodded, surprised at her sudden lack of modesty. In the past she would have been pulling up sheets or looking for a robe. But she felt so comfortable around Cole, so at ease in his company, that even naked she was content to remain where she was. “I’m fine.”
He wiped some moisture off her cheek with his thumb. “Tears?”
She shrugged lightly. “Not really. Just, you know...in the moment.”
His grip on her hand tightened. “So, no regrets?”
Ash shook her head. “Not one. You?”
“No,” he replied and traced a finger down her cheek and neck, lingering on the skin just below her collarbone. “And actually, I’m thinking we should do it again. And again,” he said, moving lower. “And again.”
She smiled and reached up, cradling his jaw. “You know what, I think you’re right.”
For the next two hours, they worked out ways to pleasure each other that went beyond anything she’d ever experienced before. And they talked, and then made love some more, and talked again. Afterward, once they’d showered, dressed and headed outside to feed and settle the animals in for the night, they returned to the kitchen for a snack. And as she moved around the room, doing things that were foolishly normal, Ash experienced a kind of happy lethargy that consumed her.
She made coffee and cut a generous slice from the apple pie in the refrigerator. Once they were at the table, sharing the pie and sipping coffee, she spoke. “It’s getting dark. Once the fireworks are done everyone will come home.”
He nodded and drank some coffee. “And life returns to normal, you mean?”
“Something like that,” she said and shrugged. “This is all a little surreal.”
“I suppose,” he said and shrugged a little. “But at the same time, seems quite normal to me.”
That was the strangeness of the situation. There was really no morning-after awkwardness between them. No regret. No guilt or hesitancy. Just a kind of easy companionship. She liked it. She liked him. She more than liked him.
She was, she knew, foolishly and crazily in love with Cole.
A man she hardly knew. A man who was leaving in a week.
“I didn’t expect this to happen,” she said quietly.
He met her gaze levelly. “I think making love was inevitable since the moment we met.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
He swallowed hard and placed the mug on the table. “I guess that’s where it gets complicated, when it feels like more than just a few hours of sex.”
His admission warmed her through to the roots of her hair. And saddened her, too. Because it could never be. They had different lives and were separated by a thousand miles. There was no way around the inevitability of his departure and the knowledge she would probably never see him again.
“You know a long-distance relationship would never work,” she said flatly. “I don’t think either of us are cut out for one of those.”
“Probably not. But, it might be worth a try.”
She sat straight in the seat. “You...want to try?”
He half shrugged. “I don’t want to wonder.”
Ash stilled and looked down. “I need to think about it.”
“Sure,” he said softly. “We have time.”
They had a week until he left. No time at all. “I don’t think we should rush into anything.”
“Chicken.”
She met his gaze and saw that he was grinning. It made her laugh. And laughing made her feel foolishly warm and happy inside.
“That’s better,” he said and grasped her hand, turning over her palm and rubbing her skin with his thumb. “Don’t be sad about anything that happened today, Ash. Your son had a great race and won a trophy. My parents got to spend time with Maisy and really connect with her. And you and I...” His words trailed off for a moment and he looked at her with riveting intensity. “You and I had an amazing afternoon.”
“I’m not sad,” she assured him. She pulled her hand away when she heard a vehicle pull up outside.
Her family was home. Ash got to her feet and quickly picked up the empty plate and her mug and walked around the counter. A minute later Jaye and Maisy raced into the room, followed by Micah and Tahlia, with her mother close behind. Her son immediately headed for Cole and began an excited chant about the race and winning his trophy and how it was the best day of his life. The younger kids had a drink of water and were then ushered off for bath time by Nancy, while Maisy came around behind the counter and rested her behind on the bench.
“Are you feeling better?” the teenager asked.
Ash managed a smile and nodded. “Much. Thank you. Did you have a good time with your grandparents and aunts?”
Maisy nodded. “They’re pretty cool. It’s a shame you guys missed the fireworks.”
Ash glanced at Cole and noticed his jaw was set tight as he talked with Jaye, indicating he was aware of the conversation she was having with his daughter. “Maybe next year. But I’m glad you had a fun time.”
Maisy shrugged, but Ash didn’t miss the gleam of something else in her expression and for one mortifying moment wondered if the girl knew exactly what she and her father had been doing. When she dared meet Maisy’s gaze again, Ash was quickly relieved. Maisy looked tired and ready for bed. “Yeah, well, I’m going to go to the cabin. See you later.”
Ash watched as Cole got to his feet and moved toward the counter, his attention still focused on her son. By the time Jaye stopped speaking Maisy had already left. Jaye was still holding his trophy as though it was the most precious thing in the world and Cole continued to give her child his full attention. She loved that about him—loved that he made Jaye feel valuable and important and never disregarded him. She thought about how patient he’d been with Maisy. How he’d stepped up when she’d come into his life with hesitation. He was a good father, exactly the kind of role model a child needed. Exactly what her child needed.
She told Jaye to get ready for bath time and once he’d left the room, she met Cole’s level gaze. “Thank you.”
“For what?” he asked.
“You know, for Jaye—for making him a priority today.”
“I care about him,” Cole said quietly.
“I know that,” she said and offered a tight smile. “It’s very mutual. He’s going to miss you when you’re gone.”
“It’s very mutual,” Cole said, echoing her words as he reached for her hand and pulled her close. “And I’m going to miss you, too,” he admitted a little raggedly as he took a breath. “I’m going to miss you every minute I’m not this close to you during the next week.”
Ash knees weakened. “Me, too. But you know, with the kids and my mom and everything that—”
“I know,” he said, cutting her off. “But, perhaps we could do something together. Like a date.”
“A date?”
“Yeah,” he said and smiled. “Maybe you’ll let me take you out for dinner to that fancy hotel in town. Jaye told me you like to dance,” he said, urging her closer until she could feel the heat of his skin mesh with hers. “So, maybe dinner, conversation, a little dancing. Away from the curious eyes of your mom and our kids. And then before we get home we could make out for a while in the car.”
Her weakened knees almost gave way. “Sounds like the perfect evening.”
It did. But Ash knew it could never be. A date would be pointless. And it would only set her up for more heartbreak. “But I can’t. I can’t...risk myself, Cole. I’ve done that before and ended up in pieces.” She pulled away. “I need to go and check on Jaye.”
He nodded and released her. “Yes, I should spend some time with my daughter. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Ash managed a shallow breath. Her heart pounded. Her
legs were uncharacteristically wobbly. And part of her didn’t want to say good-night. Part of her wanted the evening to go on and on and never end. She stepped back and felt the chasm of space between them so profoundly she ached inside. “Good night, Cole.”
“’Night, Ash. Sweet dreams.”
She watched him walk away, experienced a tug of longing so intense it almost made her call after him. But she didn’t. It was time to remember that he was leaving in a week and she had to keep her heart and sanity intact for the sake of her family and the valuable life she’d led before Cole steamrolled into it.
It was time to end the fairy tale.
Chapter Ten
“This is a lovely place. And being here suits you.”
Cole looked at his mother, saw a curious gleam in her eyes and decided to ignore it and the conversation he figured he was about to have. It was Maisy who had suggested a picnic by the river on Sunday afternoon, Maisy who rang his parents and invited them and coordinated the event with Nancy and Ash. His family was returning to Phoenix the following morning and had jumped at the chance to spend more time with their granddaughter. Of course, he was happy that Maisy had initiated the get-together and was clearly mellowing toward her newfound family. But he also felt unusually cloistered by the whole scene.
“It’s a nice spot,” he said and skipped a stone across the water. He’d been standing alone up until a few minutes earlier. After lunch, he’d wandered off by the water’s edge, fueled by his thoughts and the need to be alone. “And good weather.”
His mother laughed softly. “Oh, I see.”
Cole frowned and glanced sideways as he crossed his arms. “You see?”
“We’re at the talking-about-the-weather stage. So, you like it here.”
He shrugged. “Sure. It’s a nice spot, like I said.”
“Caught between two worlds, huh?”
Cole let out an exasperated sigh. “What are you talking about, Mom?”
She stood beside him, elegant and intuitive and irritating. “I know how hard it was for you to give up racing. And I know you’ve been treading water ever since, trying to figure out what to do with your life. I know you married Valerie because you needed an anchor after you almost died in that crash. And I know that you want to be a good father to Maisy.”
Cole’s gut twitched. “Mom, I don’t—”
“I also know that you’re not truly happy managing the race team.”
“I’m happy enough,” he said quietly.
“That doesn’t really cut it. And maybe you haven’t even realized it yourself,” she said and patted his arm. “But, I’m your mother and I can sense these things in my children. I know you want...more.”
He shrugged uncomfortably. “Doesn’t everyone?”
“Don’t let geography or the issues of your past dictate your chance for happiness, that’s all I’m saying.”
“Mom, I’m not sure what you think is going on here, but I—”
“I think you’ve found something you’ve been looking for,” she said, cutting him off. “I think you really care for this girl. And I think she really cares for you.”
Cole ignored the heat smacking his cheeks. “And you’ve figured this all out over the course of one weekend?”
“I figured it out by spending two minutes in a room with the pair of you,” she said bluntly. “I’ve been in love with your father for nearly forty years—I know what it looks like.”
Cole sighed heavily. “It’s...complicated.”
“Then uncomplicate it,” his mother said and smiled. “Tell her how you feel.”
“I can’t. Maisy needs me to—”
“Maisy needs you to be happy,” she said and squeezed his arm again. “That’s as simple as it gets, Cole. And if Ash makes you happy, if she’s the one woman who can hold your heart, then let her know. What have you got to lose?”
Everything.
He didn’t say it. He didn’t want to think about his mother’s words. There was no point. He was leaving in a week and Ash had made her feelings clear. She wouldn’t risk herself, her life or her family on the chance that they could make something together.
Cole watched his mom walk back toward the group and saw how happy and connected everyone looked together. Uncle Ted and his father were tossing a baseball with the younger kids, Maisy and his sisters were standing around the picnic table with Ash and Nancy. And when his mother joined the group there was laughter and he was astounded when he saw his daughter allow Nancy to put a companionable arm over her shoulder. Family. The word jolted through him. The scene seemed crazily normal. As though they all belonged together. His gaze found Ash, laughing at something his mother said, her beautiful copper hair flowing around her shoulders, her green eyes wide and filled with happiness. He loved her laugh. And her hair. And the soft curves that fit so perfectly against him.
I love her.
Admitting it was cathartic.
And petrifying.
He didn’t know what to do, maybe for the first time in his life. Cole sucked in a deep breath and walked toward the group. Ash had moved around to the other side of the table and was looking at him long before he reached her, her warm gaze like a homing beacon. He moved beside her and swiped a cookie from the container she was packing.
“Everything okay?” she asked, tapping his hand playfully.
“Fine,” he replied and grabbed a soda from the cooler. “You?”
She nodded. “Great. Everyone seems to be having a good time. You have a really great family.”
“You, too.”
“Family is everything,” she said softly and placed the used cutlery in a container. “Oh, I heard from Ricky this morning. He said that he’s settling in well at his new school. He also said to say hello to you and Maisy.”
“That’s good news. So, will you be taking any more kids in the short term?”
She shrugged. “I’m not sure. Micah and Tahlia need a permanent placement, but until they’re settled and hopefully adopted, I really don’t want too much change around the ranch. And I think I need to spend some quality time with Jaye. He’s going to miss you and Maisy when you leave.”
He understood. He knew she was worried about her son’s attachment to him and what it would mean for Jaye when he and Maisy left the ranch. “Ash, I think we need to—”
“Cole!”
Jaye’s voice cut off his words and the boy moved between them. “What is it, buddy?”
“Can you show Uncle Ted how to throw a curveball?” he asked. “Your dad said you were a pitcher in high school.”
Ash’s brows came up. “Is there anything you can’t do?”
Tell you I love you...
He shrugged and spoke over his shoulder as he walked away. “How about you make it your mission to find out.”
She laughed and the lovely sound vibrated through his chest. He spent the following hour teaching Jaye and Micah how to pitch and by the time the afternoon wrapped up it was after three o’clock. Cole followed his family back into town and while he was at O’Sullivans, he made a dinner reservation for Wednesday evening. He hung around for an hour and then headed back to the ranch. Maisy was on the sofa in the cabin with a book in her hands when entered.
“Can I have a driving lesson in the morning?” she asked. “You promised,” she reminded him and grinned.
“Sure,” he replied. “If the schoolwork is done.”
“I finished my geography paper,” she said and nodded. “Warden.”
Cole chuckled. “Parent,” he amended.
Maisy’s gaze dropped and she sighed. “I guess I don’t make it easy sometimes.”
“Sometimes?”
She looked up. “Okay...all the time.”
“It’s not your job to make mine easy.”
“Um...I guess. So, when I get my license will you buy me a car?”
Cole rocked back on his heels. The question indicated the future. Their future...as a family. Cole felt as though he’d just been handed the moon. “I’ll think about it.”
“I could always drive one of yours.”
His Jeep or treasured red Mustang? Not a chance. “Good try, kid. Feel like a game of Scrabble and burned burritos later?”
“You can’t cook.”
“I did say burned,” he reminded her.
Maisy laughed. “Maybe I need to give you cooking lessons,” she suggested. “We could trade them for driving lessons and then for the car you’re going to buy me.”
Cole’s mouth curled. “My cooking isn’t that bad.”
She made a face. “It’s the worst. You burn water.”
He laughed and it felt good. “Okay...deal. So, how about this game of Scrabble?”
“Sure. I told Ash today how much I enjoy beating you at board games.”
“Game on, kid,” he said as he walked down the hall. “Game on.”
And as he heard his daughter laughing, Cole realized he might just get the fathering thing right, after all.
* * *
Ash went back to work and by Tuesday had almost put out of her mind the crazy events of the weekend. Cole’s family arriving en masse. The spring fair. Jaye’s achievement in the soapbox race. The family picnic. And making love with Cole.
Which, of course, was the one thing her heart and traitorous libido wouldn’t allow her to forget. Each time she saw him, each time he was within a six-foot radius, she was bombarded with memories and feelings.
Because a few of her colleagues were taken ill with the flu, she went out on patrol with one of the ordinance enforcement officers and when she returned it was after lunch. She was called into Hank’s office around one o’clock and was startled to learn that the current sergeant was being transferred to another county and that she was in line for promotion if she wanted to apply. It meant more responsibility, a better salary and longer hours. Which is exactly what she said to her friend Nicola when she saw her that afternoon, stopping in at JoJo’s before she headed home.