by Ava Benton
“I swear on everything, I’ll kill you if you say that one more time,” I snapped.
He walked back and forth across the living room while I stayed where I had landed when I walked through the front door, curled in a ball on the couch.
“If you had only listened to me.”
I’d had enough. “All right, all right. Damn you. What really happened, honestly? Nothing. We have nothing to worry about. He didn’t hurt me. His brother didn’t hurt me. Nothing happened. So things could’ve gone a lot worse.”
“You’re lucky they didn’t,” he growled.
“No shit!” I rolled over and glared at him. “Are you honestly so self-involved right now that you think I don’t know how lucky I am? Or do you think that little of me? Please put your fangs and claws away.” I shuddered.
“I can’t help it. When I think about what they did.” He punched his palm with the other fist. “I want blood.”
“Please, take one of the bags from the fridge,” I begged. “I’m still low from last night.”
He stalked off to the kitchen, and it sounded like he nearly tore the door off its hinges. The blood would calm him, or I hoped it would. I didn’t know how much I could take of his rage. I had enough problems.
Such as my broken heart.
How could I have let myself get so wrapped up in him so quickly? Just because of a few dreams? But they were more than dreams—or, rather, they meant more than a normal dream. He had saved me before I even knew who he was. He had allowed me to sleep again, to stop feeling like I was crazy. To feel safe in my bed for the first time since the night Kristoff took me.
Of course, as long as I was being honest with myself I had to admit that it was crazy to attribute so much to a person I didn’t know. Dreams were just dreams. It was my fault for letting myself fall for him, even a little bit.
A sorcerer. A murderer.
When Holden returned, he was a lot calmer but no less full of himself for telling me so.
I wondered how long I would have to put up with his reminders. Probably for as long as I lived, since I would be stuck with him for that long. Just the two of us.
No men in my life, not after this disaster. I had decades of loneliness to look forward to. I wondered if adopting cats was next on my list of life choices.
My phone buzzed.
I barely had the energy to check it—when I saw Gentry’s name on the ID, I let out a sigh.
“I was waiting for this,” I whispered as my hands shook.
“Don’t answer.”
“Don’t tell me what to do.” And because of that, I answered the call. I wouldn’t have if he would just remember his place.
“Vanessa. Please. Give me a chance to explain.” He sounded desperate—but then, he would, wouldn’t he?
“I don’t owe you anything, and I don’t see what you could possibly have to explain,” I said, straining to keep my voice even. To keep from screaming. It wouldn’t even be him I was screaming at, I realized. I’d be screaming out the rage I felt toward myself for being so clueless. So willing to give my heart to a stranger, all because I had dreamed about him.
“Please, give me a chance. You’ll understand when I explain everything.”
“Don’t you dare allow him up here,” Holden warned.
I looked up at him and wondered if he would ever understand me. Didn’t he know better by now? That tactic was not one that worked well with me. So, I recited my address to Gentry before ending the call.
He exploded. “What are you trying to do?”
“Holden, think about it.” I jumped up from the couch, full of energy and ready to go a few rounds with him if only because he was right there in front of me. “You’re here to protect me, right? He has no powers. None. You could tear him limb from limb in the time it takes me to blink an eye. Correct?”
“Yes,” he whispered from behind the fangs that had already descended again.
“And there are countless spells placed on this penthouse, with the express purpose of keeping any who wish me ill out of here. Correct?”
“Yes. But that didn’t stop Kristoff.”
“And if it’ll make you feel better, you can spend the next month keeping watch on the balcony while I sleep,” I said, hands on my hips. “For now, all you have to do is watch over me. Can you handle that?”
“What I can’t handle is the way you keep insisting on walking into danger.”
“It’s only danger according to you,” I pointed out. “I, for one, would like to hear how he plans to tap dance his way out of this.”
“Bullshit. You’re letting him up here because you’re weak.”
In a flash, he froze, eyes wide with surprise.
I raised my arm, light radiating from my palm and wrapping itself around him. Rendering him incapable of movement.
“Now,” I whispered, “Let’s go over the balance of power in this relationship. Yes, you’re a vampire. Yes, you’ve been charged with my protection. I appreciate your efforts. However, you. forget. yourself.”
I lifted my arm, raising him in the air until the top of his head brushed the ceiling. “You forget who’s in charge here. That would be me, by the way, in case you need prompting. All I have to do is decide I’m tired of you and just like that, your life is over, and I move on to a new Nightwarden. There are plenty of you. The only reason I won’t do that right now is because I don’t feel like dealing with the inconvenience that would bring down on my head. Even so, it’s important that you remember who you’re dealing with.”
I stepped closer, still staring up at him.
Only his eyes could move, and they followed my movements.
“I’m the most powerful witch of my generation and maybe almost any other. I’m the Promised One, the one ancient sages predicted centuries ago. I’ll do whatever I want, and you’ll hold your tongue unless it’s absolutely crucial that you speak up. Understood? Blink once if you understand.”
He waited. Then blinked.
“Thank you.” I lowered him to the floor. “Now, keep this in mind if you decide to lunge at me when I release you. And remember what it’ll mean for the rest of you Nightwardens if you hurt me. All right? I trust you will.” With that, I released him from the spell. He gasped for air once the constriction around his chest disappeared.
The doorbell rang. “Perfect timing,” I murmured, glancing at him as I walked past to answer the door.
I hated doing it, I truly did. I didn’t want to go back to the same demanding, bratty, volatile witch I was before. Even so, a little show of force couldn’t hurt when the situation demanded it.
The first thing I noticed when I opened the door was how distraught Gentry looked.
I could relate. I had to remind myself how much more powerful than himI was to stiffen my spine a little. I raised my chin. “Yes?”
“I have to come in. Please.”
“As long as you’re prepared to deal with my Nightwarden,” I stepped aside and opened the door a little wider. “By all means. I only hope you don’t believe in karma.”
He entered in spite of my thinly-veiled threat and nodded in Holden’s direction. “I don’t mean anyone any harm. I mean that. Those days are behind me.”
“With your powers?” I asked, sitting on the sofa.
Holden stood behind me.
I thought I was doing a fairly good job at playing the powerful, untouchable High Sorceress.
Inside me was another story. Inside, I was shaking. Weeping. Wishing the morning had never happened.
“Yes. Behind me with my powers.” He stood with his hands clasped behind his back, feet shoulder width apart. “I know you must have questions for me, and I’m prepared to answer them.”
I blinked. “Why would I have questions? Why would I believe anything you have to tell me?”
“Whatever you think you know, it’s untrue.”
“So you didn’t massacre vampires for fun?” I asked, tilting my head to the side. “And I’m not talking about th
at night at the club, either. I’m talking about your entire life. Your family’s hatred for vampires.”
Holden snarled behind me. “I could kill you for that. And I wouldn’t even get in trouble for it. You’re just a disgraced sorcerer. Nobody would even miss you.”
To his credit, Gentry didn’t back down. “You’re right. I wasn’t clear. And I won’t insult your intelligence. You’re right about my past. The way I was raised, the indoctrination I went through. There was no question that vampires were lesser forms of life than sorcerers. Lesser even than humans, which as I think we all know is around as low as a creature can get in our world—depending on who you talk to, of course.”
“And you listened to a hateful, hurtful, vicious bunch of monsters while you were growing up,” I murmured.
“Something like that, yes. But when I lost my powers…” He trailed off, shaking his head slowly. “It sounds weak and hollow after what I’ve done, but all the past beliefs melted away. Like a veil I didn’t know was over my eyes suddenly lifted, and I could see clearly. I could see how wrong I had been.” His focus shifted, moved over my head. “I can’t apologize enough, and I know apologies mean nothing. But it’s the truth. I can never make it up, of course, but I mean it when I say it was wrong and I don’t feel that way anymore.”
“Why should you?” I asked, folding my arms. “You killed a club full of them, all at once. You probably got it out of your system that night.”
“I didn’t do that. Dominic did.” He held up one hand, closing his eyes. “I know it sounds convenient.”
“Extremely,” Holden hissed.
“I know. But it’s the truth. I would sit down to a lie detector test right now to prove it. Dominic wanted to bring the clan together by showing force, wiping out an entire club of them all at once. The bomb wasn’t supposed to go off when it did, while humans were there. He knew our entire clan, across the country, would fall apart if they knew he’d done it. See, he’s head of the family. They all report to him. I was only head of our LA clan. He thought they could better absorb the damage if I took the blame instead of him.” He shook his head, snickering. “And he acted like stripping my powers was a mercy. The normal punishment would be death.”
“It can still be death,” Holden warned. I cleared my throat to signal his silence.
“Why should I believe any of this?” I asked with a sigh. “I mean, really. We’ve been on two dates, if you can call today a date. What’s the big deal? Two ships passing in the night and all that.”
His gaze didn’t waver. “You know it’s more than that.”
“Don’t tell me what I know.”
“I dreamed of you before we met.”
It hit me like a wave and almost knocked me off the couch. “You what?” I croaked.
“I dreamed of a room. A ballroom, falling apart and moulding and full of rodents. And you. Saving you from something, I still don’t know what. You were there, though, wearing a dirty nightgown, tied to a wooden X. I freed you and carried you outside. I dreamed that every night for a week before I first saw you on Sunday.”
I wanted to tell him he was lying, but how would he be able to describe my dream if he wasn’t telling the truth? I started shaking when I considered what it meant.
“I did, too.”
“What?” Holden stared.
I ignored him.
“You did?” Gentry asked. His expression softened.
“I could only see your eyes. The sun was behind your head, so I couldn’t see your face for the glare. But I saw your eyes. And when I saw them in the shop…”
I remembered squeezing Holden’s hand.
He had to remember, too.
“That was why you said “You” when I spilled my coffee.”
“And why you said the same thing,” he agreed.
I touched a hand to my face, rubbing my forehead. I could hardly handle everything racing through my head.
“Regardless,” I replied, “your brother probably wants me dead because I exist—wants Holden dead, too, I’m sure. It’s for the best that we let things go, I think.”
“I’m going to kill him,” he replied.
Like it meant nothing. There wasn’t even inflection in his voice.
“You’re going to kill your own brother?” Holden chuckled in disbelief.
“He killed our mother this morning. I didn’t go up with him—I couldn’t be in the same room. I waited outside instead. She was dead by the time I got up there.” His nostrils flared, and his eyes looked a little watery, but that was as much emotion as he showed. It wasn’t easy for him to hold it back, though. I could tell.
“You think he’s capable of that?” I whispered, stunned. “I mean, he’s a monster. Just the way you describe him tells me as much. And his aura. I saw it all over his aura. Some of the darkest color I’ve ever seen. But that’s not the same as killing his mother.”
“I’m sure of it,” he insisted in a flat, emotionless voice. “He’ll tell himself and anyone who accuses him of it that he did it for her. To ease her suffering. But I know better.”
“How?”
“I’m his twin. I know him very well. Maybe better than he knows himself. In fact, I’d be willing to bet on that, seeing as how he’s become a self-deluded fool. And I know he killed her before I could get up there. He didn’t want Mommy to know what a bad boy he was.”
“You’re stretching a little, don’t you think?” Holden asked.
“No. I don’t think so. Don’t you think the coincidence is a little much?” He looked at me again, and there was no pleading there. No cajoling. He looked very tired. “I’ve already lost everything—and if I lose you, well, I’ll learn to deal with it. I have all the time in the world and nothing better to do. But I had to at least come to you and get it all down so you’ll know.”
“Know what?” I whispered.
“That I’m not evil. That I’m sorry for everything I’ve done, sincerely sorry. That I’m not that person anymore. And you would hate me if you knew the depths to which I was willing to sink back then. I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make up for that.”
I waited. When he didn’t continue, I prompted. “Is that all?”
Don’t let it be all. Please. Tell me you want to fight for me. Tell me I’m worth it.
He took a deep breath. “And, if your Nightwarden won’t let me near you without ripping me to pieces, so be it. But I won’t stay away unless you want me to.”
Holden’s feelings on the subject were evident from the turn his feelings took. His red-hot rage and indignation hit me like a sledgehammer. He was smart enough to hold his tongue, however, probably because of what I’d done to him earlier.
“I don’t want you to stay away,” I replied. “But I don’t think you should be here right now. I have a lot to consider. Including my coven. And your brother is… your brother.”
“I understand. You know how to find me.” He nodded to Holden before turning to go.
I watched with a heavy heart. I wanted to throw myself into his arms. I wanted him to hold me. I saw so much pain in him that I wanted to take away.
I managed to wait until he reached the hallway before running after him.
“Wait,” I breathed.
He turned, surprised, and caught me just as I fell against his sturdy chest. His arms were almost strong enough to make me believe everything would be all right. He would save me, and I’d save him right back, if he’d let me.
His mouth was warm and rough and demanding against mine—but only at first, before it softened. He kissed me slowly, deeply, taking ownership of my lips and my tongue and everything about me.
For the first time in my life, somebody was stronger than me and I was all right with it. I rejoiced in it. I gladly gave myself over and would do it again and again if he would let me, so long as he always kissed me until my toes curled and my core burned with delicious fire.
He groaned just before his arms tightened like a vise and his kiss became
desperate, breathless, the sort of kiss that made me want to lead him to the bedroom and strip him down before riding him. He pressed his hand to my lower back and pulled me in against him.
When it ended, I could hardly stand. He held me up until I could support myself, but that didn’t mean I wanted to leave his embrace.
I would’ve stood there until we both turned to dust. How had I lived without that sort of passion? How could I have tried to convince myself that life was worth living without it?
“Stay safe,” he whispered, kissing my forehead and squeezing me once more before letting go.
I waited until the elevator doors closed between us before marching back to the penthouse and locking the door behind me.
I wasn’t about to lose him.
“I’m calling a meeting,” I announced to Holden as I pulled out my phone.
12
Gentry
I slung back the rest of the bourbon in the glass. It sent fingers of fire through my veins, made me glow inside. The world looked a little softer, a little kinder, when I had the help of the almost ancient bottle from Father’s collection.
Mother had never touched the stuff, so the liquor had sat unopened at the bar for the sixty years since his death, and for years before that. Part of his collection. The rest, along with dozens of bottles of wine, sat in a closet off the kitchen. Another potential source of income should I need it.
I left the window and walked across the room, my bare feet not making a sound, down the hall and into the library. It was cold in there, but I had no intention of building a fire. I had never built one the same way humans did, anyway, and had no idea where to start. There was so much to learn.
Father’s desk still sat there, as always. He’d used the space as an office, and clan business had been settled there for as long as he was in charge. As a child, playing with my airplanes and my dog while he conducted meetings, I couldn’t have understood the meaning of some of the things he’d discussed.
Mass cleansing. Sending a message.
Always under the guise of keeping his family—both me and my brother and the family at large—safe from the unpredictable, violent, brutish blood suckers.