by Jordan Ford
She spins at my request, her blue-green eyes sparking just the way Maddie’s do. “You don’t need my permission. You can fall for whoever the hell you want to. I don’t care.”
I narrow my eyes at her. “You say that, but you don’t mean it.”
She huffs and moves out of my reach.
“Maddie is never going to let us happen until she gets your blessing. Whether you like it or not, you are the only thing standing in our way.”
“Oh, so it’s my fault now?” She throws her hands up. “I get a crush on the most gorgeous guy in school and he asks me out! Foolishly, I say yes, thinking that he must like me even just a little and what does he do? He hooks up with my sister, and now I’m the bad guy because I won’t let them be together!”
I cringe and tap my heel against the ground.
Shit, when she explains it like that…
“This is so unfair.” Her whisper is broken and small, making me wonder if I should just give up and walk away.
There are other girls.
I’ll be going off to college soon. I’ll be met with a whole new sea of faces, bodies…girls I can fall in love with.
I sigh.
But there aren’t other girls. Not girls like Maddie.
“It is unfair,” I finally murmur.
I don’t know what else to say. I figure begging won’t fly, and it’s not like I have a right to.
We screwed Chloe over. She owes us nothing.
Chloe turns back to face me and I give her a glum smile. Her forehead wrinkles. She shakes her head and turns away from me.
“Look, I’ll think about it, okay? But I can’t stop you guys from being together. Don’t lay that all on me.”
“I think you’ll find that Maddie loves and respects you enough not to follow her heart on this one. She won’t hurt you again…and neither will I.”
With an apologetic smile, I take my leave before anything more can be said.
The ball’s in her court now, and I’m once again in that hideous position of waiting for someone else to make it happen.
Gritting my teeth, I step into the gym and leave the school via my locker. The hallways have cleared out and there’ll only be a few stragglers leaving after-school tutoring or still getting changed after sports practices.
I kind of don’t know what to do with myself.
I’m not due at Cresthill today. I wish I was. I don’t feel like going home and dealing with Mom right now.
Luke said he was busy. Kingston’s with Bridget. I could call Zane…
Turning the corner, I pull out my phone and find Zane’s number.
But a soft voice stops me from calling him.
“Hi.”
I freeze still and look over my shoulder. For a hopeful second I think it’s Chloe about to tell me that she’ll talk to Maddie tonight…clear things up.
But it’s not.
It’s Maddie.
And she doesn’t look that happy about talking to me.
I frown, wondering how Chloe got to her so quickly. Is Maddie going to tell me off for going behind her back?
My insides are already cringing as she closes the gap between us.
“Can we talk for a sec?”
“Sure.” I bob my head and follow her into the empty cafeteria. I don’t know why she wants to talk to me in here. We’re going to get kicked out by Finch soon enough.
She walks to the closest table and leans her butt against the edge of it. She looks nervous for some reason.
Blue and purple bruising still mottles her perfect skin. It hurts me every time I look at her. She wears her wounds with such dignity…and it just makes me want to smash her attacker even more.
I go to take a seat beside her, run my hand down her back and assure her that she can tell me anything, but she holds up her hand to stop me.
“Please, just…” Her voice quivers and she bites her lips together.
I stand my ground, shoving my hands in my pockets, and give her a second to get going. It’s unlike her to hold back.
With a soft smile, I gently encourage her. “Maddie, what’s going on?”
“I have to tell you something and I’m worried it’s going to hurt you.”
Shit, great way to start.
I hold my breath and look to the ceiling.
Here we go.
She knows I spoke to Chloe and I’m about to get an earful. She’ll do it gently, but here comes the maybe we shouldn’t talk at all lecture or the I’m quitting baseball because this is too hard speech.
“I found this in the workout room.”
Surprised, I glance from her beat-up face down to the folded paper towel in her hand.
She peels back the edges to reveal a bent buckle. “I think this is what scratched my hand.”
I lurch towards the evidence, careful not to touch it. “Have you shown your dad?”
“Not yet.”
“Why not? We need to take this to him right now.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Oh yes it is. This will be enough for him to get another search warrant at the Mancinis’ place. He can go through every one of that asshole’s jackets until he finds the missing buckle.”
“I don’t think it’s off Vincent’s jacket.” Her eyes dip to the floor before she sucks in a breath and softly destroys my world. “I think it’s off Luke’s.”
It takes me a second to compute what she just said.
My head jerks to the side and I blink a couple of times before leaning closer to her and double-checking. “What did you just say?”
Her sigh is heavy, which only makes my chest constrict.
“I’m sorry, Holden. I know you don’t want to hear this. But I think this buckle is off Luke’s jacket. He was wearing it yesterday, and I noticed that the buckle on his right arm was missing. Something just didn’t feel right, so I went to the workout room and I hunted around until I found this. I didn’t know what to do at first. I wasn’t sure if I was right and I didn’t want to falsely accuse anybody. But yesterday afternoon during the game, I left for a minute.”
“Chloe said you were in the bathroom,” I snap.
“I went to check Luke’s jacket. The buckle is the same as the one on the other side. I just don’t think he noticed it was missing.”
In spite of the fact that I think this is bullshit, my brain scrambles to figure out what he was wearing today.
“He was wearing a different jacket today. He must have figured it out.”
Clenching my jaw, I look away from this girl who is trying to ruin everything.
She’s so freaking wrong right now.
I snicker and shake my head. “Luke wouldn’t do that. For one, he’s not a thief and secondly, he’s no girl basher. I know he can be a jerk sometimes, but come on! It’s Luke!”
“Yeah, I know. Your best friend.”
I pace away from her, lightly punching the air. I can’t believe she’s saying this shit to me!
Why does she want to hurt me like this?
Have the sisters gotten together and come up with some secret plot in order to save Max’s ass?
I spin to fire that accusation, but the second I see Maddie’s face, the words die in my mouth. Her expression is crumpled with a mixture of empathy and compassion.
She can’t be lying.
Maddie doesn’t lie. She’s honest to the core, even if it hurts her.
Even so, I shake my head. “It’s not him. He wouldn’t…” My words dry up and I wince, rubbing my forehead and trying to eradicate the nasty thought she’s just planted there.
“I know this is hard to hear, but—”
“Don’t talk bullshit to me, okay?” I cut her off before she can sell me any more of this crap. She’s got it wrong. Made a mistake.
Luke can’t be the thief. I know the guy. We have history!
“If you really thought it was him, you would’ve taken this to your dad already.” My finger is shaking as I point it at her.
She
blinks, her skin flushing pink at my thundering tone. “I didn’t want to take it to him without talking to you first. And in spite of what you think right now, I care about you…more than I’ve ever cared about any guy, and this is really hard. Luke’s your best friend and I don’t want to break your heart, but I think he’s into some bad shit. And as his best friend, I wanted to give you the chance to try and talk to him. Maybe you can get him to confess or—”
“He won’t confess because he’s not guilty!” I throw my arms wide, breaths punching out of my chest as I dare her to contradict me.
“Okay,” she finally whispers and starts bobbing her head. “Okay.”
Gently wrapping her evidence back up, she slides it into her pocket and tries to finish me off with those compassionate eyes of hers. “I’m sorry I hurt you.” She pats her pocket and delivers the final blow. “I’m gonna hold on to this for a few more days, just in case you change your mind.”
I stare at her face, marred and misshapen. Her cheek is puffy and swollen. I bet it still hurts, and she’s standing there with damning evidence that she’s gonna hold on to for a few more days.
She’s giving me time.
The girl with every right to dump my best friend in it is giving me time.
My raging anger is met with an overpowering surge of…shit, I don’t know what to name it.
Maybe deep down I know what it is.
This emotion that makes me want to fly now makes me feel like I’m plummeting towards the earth with no parachute to save me.
I’m falling for a girl who’s just taken me out at the knees.
Turning away from her, I keep my eyes on the back of the cafeteria and don’t move until I hear the door swing shut behind her.
Like two opposing storms, the emotions swell in my chest—anger and affection clashing together in an epic battle I can’t contain.
“Argh!” I holler across the empty cafeteria before punching the air and storming away from a truth I don’t want to believe.
37
No Longer Alone
MADDIE
Holden hasn’t looked at me since I told him about the buckle on Thursday. That was less than forty-eight hours ago. But it feels like an eternity.
Today’s game was so freaking hard to play.
We lost 10–8.
Coach probably blames it on the fact that Zane was sick so he had to play Luke on third base and me as catcher.
I haven’t exactly been the player I was in Columbus. Dad will be disappointed. Thankfully he wasn’t at today’s game. He’s working this weekend and we all get a slight reprieve from the scrutiny.
Replaying the last inning, I wince and rub my forehead. Trying to work with a guy who thinks I’m out to destroy his perfect Armitage world was damn near impossible.
Max was off her game as well. Something’s eating at her and I can’t figure it out. She won’t talk to me, but I don’t want to push her because then I’ll have to dish up my own confessions. My big buckle secret is dying to get out of me, along with the fact that I can’t seem to get over Holden even though liking him is completely out of the question. I’ve kind of put the final nail in that coffin by accusing his best friend. He must hate that the Barlow sisters have invaded his life.
But I don’t want to destroy him…which is why I still haven’t told anyone about the buckle.
When I saw my dad yesterday, I had to bite my lips together.
He’ll be livid if he knows I’ve been hiding evidence from him.
It’s so unfair that Vincent is getting investigated and treated like a criminal when Luke’s the guilty party.
It’s not right for me to keep this secret.
But I wanted to give Holden a couple of days.
With a heavy sigh, I rip off my mitt and throw it on the bench by my locker.
I have no idea where Max is. Chloe was really quiet during the game. Something’s eating her too, and I just don’t have the energy to step up and play the big sister card right now.
I’m tired.
I want this all to be over.
Leaning my head against the locker, I sniff back the burning tears. It’s so tempting to start up my take me back to Ohio mantra, but that doesn’t even sit right anymore.
I don’t know what I want.
“Yes, you do,” I mutter, standing tall with a huff and flicking my locker open.
Pulling out my change of clothes, I dump them beside my mitt. A small white bundle flops out of my hoodie pocket. Sitting down with a thud, I pick it up and gently unwrap it, staring down at that damn buckle.
Holden hasn’t spoken to Luke.
I can tell because Luke was bright and oblivious both yesterday and at today’s game. He thinks he’s gotten away with beating me up, stealing a laptop…and no doubt stealing everything else that has gone missing at this school.
Squeezing the buckle in my hand, I finger the bruises on my face, the last remnants of the assault. Wearing the catcher’s mask hurt today, but when Coach asked me about it, I told him I was fine.
But I’m not fine.
I don’t know what to do.
Or I do know what to do, but I’m dreading the aftermath.
“What’s that?”
“Oh!” I nearly jump out of my skin. I didn’t even hear Chloe walk into the locker room. I must have been seriously zoned out, stressing over this dilemma.
“Sorry.” She snickers and then points at the white paper in my hand. “But what is that?”
“Oh, um…” I lick my lips and look up at her.
Those blue-green eyes, so similar to mine, are filled with curiosity, but the look is soon pushed aside by concern.
“Mads?” She touches my shoulder and crouches down in front of me. “Why are you crying?”
“I’m not.” I slash at my face, surprised by the trickle on my cheeks.
Chloe’s expression crumples. “Is this about Holden?”
“No.” I shake my head but then give up and nod.
“Did he give you something?” She gently unwraps the tissue and I let her.
It feels good to finally open up to someone I trust. Max tried the other day when she caught me coming out of the boys’ locker room, but I’d only just checked Luke’s jacket and I hadn’t even spoken to Holden yet. I couldn’t fess up about the buckle. I was still reeling from the shock. So I lied to her, which felt really weird. In spite of the fact that she’s keeping secrets from me, I usually tell her everything.
I guess I’m ready to open up now, though. This burden has just been getting heavier as each day passes, and I can’t carry it on my own anymore.
“What…?” Chloe reaches for the buckle but I quickly stop her.
“Don’t touch it.”
She flinches and gives me a confused frown. “Why would he give you a buckle?”
“He didn’t.” I sigh. “I found this in the workout room. It’s—”
Chloe gasps and covers her mouth. “Oh my gosh, has this got to do with the guy who assaulted you? Is this evidence?”
“Yeah,” I croak.
“Well, why haven’t you given it to Dad already?” She perches her butt on the seat beside me.
A new tear trickles free as I try to find my voice.
Chloe’s lips part, her eyes growing wide and vibrant. “Please tell me it wasn’t Holden.”
“It wasn’t Holden.” I shake my head quickly. “It was…Luke.”
“Luke?” Chloe’s frown is so deep it’s almost comical. “As in frosty boy?”
“I’m pretty sure.”
“Oh my… Wow.” She turns and stares straight ahead, obviously still trying to soak it in.
I give her a minute, but she doesn’t even need that long before she spins back and snaps, “Do you think he’s responsible for the other robberies?”
I shrug, but mutter, “Maybe. I mean it makes sense, right?”
“Asshole!” Chloe shoots to her feet. “He ruins the original school dance, steals Coach’s truck and all th
e baseball gear…twice! And then he sets up Vincent Mancini to take the fall! Not only that, he pounded you when you tried to stop him. Oh, you cannot let him get away with this.”
“I know.” I grimace. “And I’m probably a really bad person for not revealing this sooner, I just…” My eyes dip to the floor. I have to be careful what I say here. Holden is rocky ground for both of us, and I kind of need my sister on my side right now.
“Have you told Holden already?” Chloe’s question is soft yet heavy.
I bob my head. “He doesn’t want to believe it.”
Chloe pursues her lips and then gives me a small smile. “It was nice of you to give him a heads-up.”
“I so want to be wrong about this.”
“Are you sure you’re right?”
“I checked Luke’s jacket. It matches. I’m pretty sure it was him, but…I guess I was hoping Holden might get a confession or something. I hate the idea of taking this to Dad behind Luke’s back. It just feels so…I don’t know…disloyal.”
Running her hand down her ponytail, Chloe lets the hair go and I watch it swing like a pendulum behind her back. “You’re right. I get that. I do.” Her nose wrinkles while she thinks. “But we can’t let this fly. That guy hurt you, and I’m not okay with that.”
I grimace and shake my head. “Bruises heal.”
“You know, Dad would be so ashamed to hear you talk like that. If we don’t do something about this, we are aiding and abetting a criminal.”
“Hardly.” I roll my eyes.
“If we don’t do something about this and he steals again, or hurts someone else, or plants more evidence so Vincent takes the fall, we’ll have to carry that.” Grabbing my face, she makes me look her in the eye. “Where has all your strength gone?”
I shrug, suddenly wondering the same question. Why is Chloe having to give me the big pep talk? It’s usually the other way around.
Her lips twitch with a smile, like she knows something I don’t. Closing her eyes, she shakes her head and murmurs, “I didn’t realize you had it quite so bad.”
Her swallow is thick and audible as she lets me go.
I slash another tear off my cheek and sniff, trying to rally myself.