Covin went into the station. He assured Evan everything was going to be all right. Whatever his idea was, I was moved that he cared enough to try to help.
About thirty minutes later, Covin came out of the building smiling. The police chief and the four officers who were involved followed. Ms. Ford rushed up to the chief with her microphone. The chief announced that the four officers were going to be suspended without pay, pending an investigation. The officers passed us and looked severely disturbed.
The ring leader who had called us kids looked at us and said, “We know that guy. You all want us suspended, but we’re only protecting the neighborhood.”
Close enough to read his name badge, I said, “Officer Cloud, now you see we are not just some kids with no voice. I’m the first to admit that guy is no saint. But the way you treated him was not right. You are supposed to uphold the law. Now, like you wanted the guy to pay, you’ll have to pay.”
He looked away. I hadn’t meant to sound so cruel. Passing back to him the anger he’d made me feel wasn’t healthy.
An ambulance arrived, and G-Dogg came out of the precinct in handcuffs and was escorted to it. Evan fled to his side. Like a gnat that wouldn’t go away, this nagging feeling told me to tell him I was sorry. Teddi and Millie saw I was headed to them. They tried to keep me back from the action, but while the news crew entertained my line sisters, I went over to see the guy who had threatened my girl’s life.
“I apologize,” I told him as I looked at his face that was so unrecognizable from the earlier jerk. “You deserve to be locked up—”
Evan said, “Hailey—”
My voice rattled, I said, “What, Evan? He was wrong to hit you.”
“Ladies, he’s under arrest,” a dark-skinned officer said to Evan and me. “He’s not able to talk to anyone at this time.”
G-Dogg looked at the cop with empathy. “Hey, bro, can I have a minute?”
The officer hesitated and then nodded. He uncuffed G-Dogg and stepped to the side. Evan put her free arms around his waist.
Surprising me, G-Dogg pulled back and said, “Your girl is right, baby. I never should have touched you. Hitting you was wrong.”
Like someone who needed sense knocked into them—no pun intended—Evan said, “I deserved it. I made you angry. Now, because of me, look at you. You’re gonna need stitches.”
“Evan!” I yelled out, wishing she wasn’t so gullible.
The paramedic I remembered from the fire, told us he needed to get the patient to the hospital. I backed away, and Evan held on to his neck for dear life. The officer came between Evan and G-Dogg.
I motioned for Evan to come with me. She was obviously mad at me and ran over to Millie and Quisa. I looked to the sky and needed God to help me not feel so bad, even though I felt I was just trying to help.
When the cop and paramedic were closing the door, G-Dogg said, “Please take care of my girl.” I turned and looked back at him. “I was wrong to hit her, but when the cops went too far, you stood up for me. Thank you. I’m ready to take on the judge, lawyers, and whoever else wants to throw the book at me. Tonight I learned about compassion when I looked over at your face and saw how much you were hurting for me—me, the guy who got rough with your friend. I was numb to the brutality and hate they were giving me. I owe you. You showed me goodness. I gotta change. And I’m glad Evan is in a group or sorority with you.”
When the ambulance pulled off, I sat there. I felt strong arms touching me. The rub was so soothing I knew it was Covin. He was around me taking care of things, setting the record straight. Right now I felt safe because I was in his reach. I slowly turned around, and our eyes locked. I couldn’t keep it together anymore. I completely fell apart in his arms. He held me up, he told me it was gonna be okay, and he didn’t leave.
Covin had told me that pledging could be brutal, but he didn’t know the Betas had planned on doing it the right way. I was out in the wee hours of the morning only because my line sisters and I wanted to hang. Covin could have given me much scolding, but he told me what I wanted to hear.
“I’m so glad you’re okay. I’m glad you called me,” he said as he rubbed my brow with a touch that felt so secure.
He kissed my forehead and then my cheek. When his juicy lips met mine, I did feel better. I had just gone through a nightmare. And I needed that awful feeling to go. I needed to know all men weren’t jerks.
As soon as I felt relief, I was startled when I heard Teddi’s voice shout, “Hailey, what is this? Why are you kissing him like this? What is going on? Covin, the guy who took everything I wanted—why him? You’re an item, and you didn’t even tell me?”
Millie, not knowing anything about the situation, pulled Teddi’s arm and said, “Come on, girl. It’s been a long night. Let’s just let them talk.”
“No. I want her to talk to me. So the little note he left on our door asking to speak with you last week was because he wanted you to be his girl?”
“What’s wrong with that?” Covin asked her. “I’ll take care of her.”
“You don’t even know her,” Teddi said to him.
Covin replied, “So? You don’t even know me.”
There had been too much drama already for me to let the two of them go at it. I took him to the side and said, “Thank you for your help tonight.”
“You can’t listen to her,” he said. “We got something.”
“I think we do, too. But understand for me that I’m gonna go back with my line sisters. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” Though I could tell he wasn’t happy, he agreed.
During the car ride home, Teddi asked a million questions. I opened my mouth not to one question. She couldn’t get the hint that I didn’t wanna talk about it, so I just let her vent.
Then she said, “I can’t believe you’re with the guy who took everything from me.”
“Teddi, that guy risked his life to save yours. He gave you everything. He gave you your future. I don’t know where things are going with me and Covin, but I don’t have to answer to you. So many times in my life you’ve come first, but right now, after tonight, after everything I’ve been through, I wanna be happy. And if you keep getting on my nerves like this ...”
“What? What?” she said as she hit the car window.
From the backseat, Millie said, “Calm down, Teddi. Give her some space.”
“What? What? Hailey?” Teddi asked.
“You fill in the blank,” I told her, tired of her riding me to see things her way.
“Time flies when you’re having fun,” Millie said two weeks later to me as we were in the holding room waiting for our final Gem ceremony to start.
Teddi was in the room, too, but she was over in the corner with Quisa. Evan was off to herself. She hadn’t quit on us, but with G-Dogg released and none of us backing her to stay with him, she was with us but not with us. It really bothered me that our line was divided.
I wanted to hug Teddi and let her know I cared, but I didn’t. A part of me wanted to say, “Teddi, you can have Beta Gamma Pi.” So many times I came close to telling her, “If it weren’t for me going to bat with the big sisters to get you on the line in the first place, you wouldn’t even be here. Don’t trip!”
Teddi thought I was supposed to bow down to her, say I was sorry, and give up my new little romance. We timed it so neither one of us was in the room at the same time. Whoever was asleep first at night was the first one gone before the other one woke in the morning. It was actually quite childish. I hated that it seemed we acted like we couldn’t stand each other.
I was about to suggest we squash all issues and be real sisters, but my thoughts were interrupted. Cassidy came to the door and said, “All right, my five Pis, line up. It’s time to get one step closer to my beloved BGP.”
As we walked into the room, our collegiate adviser, Dr. Weaver, was on the microphone saying, “Ladies, as you come in, reflect on the past four Gems.”
And I thought back to the first one on leade
rship. Hayden had said that ceremony was the one that got to her the most. It was moving, as I was certainly motivated by what they said: work what you got and give it all you can. Reflecting on it, I realized that I was a leader, and going to my line sisters to get things straight was an area I could take the lead on.
Then I thought about Gem two on sisterhood. The basic message behind the whole thing was: The way we roll was as one unit. And if Teddi and Evan were ever to feel true love from me, I needed to give it unconditionally and be willing to work on our differences.
Gem three: act like you know. Wow! It focused on education. They said a lot of people that pledged had their GPAs go down. If you knew why you were in school, you should act like it. Do something. Be about changing your community and making your sorority better. You couldn’t make it better if you had no degree. The tension my line had made all of us weaker students. We needed to fix that.
Gem four was Millie’s favorite, which was Christian principles. We learned that God had it going on. Though I knew in my heart that I should treat people how I wanted to be treated, I was a little stubborn. But that hard heart needed to go. Though I was happy dating Covin, I wasn’t totally okay, because I knew Teddi had issues with it.
Yep, after pondering the last two weeks, I was emotional. I’d learned how to be better, and I’d vowed to care more, yet I wasn’t living up to what I’d pledged. This last Gem on public service was for me. I wasn’t getting much from my line sisters, because, frankly, I hadn’t given them much. And if I loved them and the bond we were supposed to be forming, why did I want anything from them anyway? Being in a sorority was not a self-serving organization.
As soon as we took our seats, Samantha said, “As far as the Gem ceremonies are concerned, you ladies have come to the end of the road. Tonight is the final Gem on public service. In this world, we are supposed to give more than we take, care about others more than ourselves, and speak for those who don’t have a voice. We challenge you sitting before us who want to join our fold. Is it all about you? Or is it about your line sister? Is it about your campus? Is it about your community? Is it about your world?”
I sat there, and a tear trickled down my face. If it weren’t for my mom, my sister, and Teddi’s insistence, Beta Gamma Pi would have been an afterthought. Yet I was thrilled about their cause. They cared for people, and so did I.
I had forgotten how important it was to work things out with my dear friend; I could not be broken and try to fix somebody else. And as tough as I tried to act, I cared about Teddi. I didn’t want Evan to be sad or alone anymore either.
As soon as the ceremony was over, I went to Teddi and Evan and said, “Forgive me. I love you both, and I’m sorry for being so distant.”
Teddi replied, “I’m the one who’s sorry. You’re right—Covin risked his life for mine. He’s a good guy who likes you. Forgive me for standing in your way.”
Evan pulled up her sleeve, and we saw a big, deep bruise on her arm. She said, “You all were right. G-Dogg got out of jail, and at first things were good. Then I said something he didn’t like, and I got this. I’m done, you guys. I just didn’t know how to ask for help.”
Millie and Quisa were standing around and heard us. We all took a few moments to be there for each other. It felt good to connect as a line.
Cassidy interrupted and ushered us out of the room. “Y’all, come on. Y’all gotta leave and go study.”
Samantha came over to her and said, “What are you telling them?”
“Don’t worry about it,” Cassidy said to her.
“Yes, I do need to worry. I said I wanna see them right now. I’m the Chapter President, so I decide what goes on around here. If I wanna take them with another line to study, that’s my business.”
“Girls, y’all need to get your stuff and go study like I said,” Cassidy said to us. “Now!” We picked up our stuff and headed for the door.
“I can’t believe you’re gonna tell them to do what you say. Y’all, I’m the Chapter President,” Samantha said.
“And when other people haze these girls, you think you got control, but you don’t. You don’t put them around people you know are crazy.”
“What, you calling me crazy now?” Samantha said as she came lunging toward Cassidy.
Cassidy went toward her. It was a horrible sight when we had just left a beautiful ceremony talking about love, oneness, and making things better. Not even five minutes later, our Chapter President and Vice President were practically at blows. Other Betas tried to help pull them apart, but they were torn down by the ladies’ fists. How were we supposed to be united as sisters when our leaders’ actions were way past immature and pesky?
7
BASK
Sam was smiling like she wanted to throw down. “Come on, Cassidy. Show me what you got. If this is what you want, come get it.”
Betas pulled them apart and yet they ran back to tear each other to shreds again. This was not ladylike behavior nor was it the Beta way to act. It was disturbing to see my big sisters act so ghetto. They were setting the wrong examples. And I knew Cassidy had more compassion than that.
“You’re supposed to be our Chapter President!” Evan yelled out, not caring if it was her place or not. “Stop, please! Have some respect for yourselves and each other. I know hitting on any level is wrong.”
It was weird, but I really didn’t know why I wasn’t more forthcoming with how awful I thought this was. I was getting mixed signals about our sisterhood. Someone needed to be the bigger person and just quit these childish antics. I looked to my line sisters, and we had to stand up with Evan. We needed to be leaders; it was time for us to step in.
Teddi said, “I ain’t saying nothing. I don’t want either one of them to get mad at me for taking sides, even though I think Sam is dead wrong for getting all in her girl’s face.”
A group of Betas took Cassidy to one side, and the others put Sam in a corner. The five of us were already on shaky ground in our own relationships, and now we were in a circle as one, wondering what our fate would be now that our leaders were at odds with each other. If this was what they considered sisterhood, did I really want to get involved deeper in this? Hayden and I argued as sisters, but not to this extent. Physical violence had never been a part of my world.
Cassidy came over to us and said, “Ladies, I apologize for what just happened. Please do not follow in my footsteps. It’s time for y’all to go on your retreat. Our adviser left when the ceremony was over, and she was headed over there with some alumnae ladies. She just called, and she’s wondering where you guys are. Thankfully, we can’t go, or else they would see what a mess we just caused. Here’s the directions.”
“But we didn’t bring anything for an overnight trip,” Teddi said.
“You won’t need anything,” Cassidy responded, still clearly shaken from the fight. “Just get over there. They got you.”
To ease the tension, I put my hand on her shoulder and said, “It’s gonna be okay.”
She gave me a small grin. Cassidy was so cool. She needed to know we cared. Sam, on the other hand, was still being calmed down by her sorors. I’d lost respect for our leader, who was unable to keep her feelings in check. And to know these two used to be roommates and best friends ... I knew I truly needed to make sure Teddi and I got past our differences so we would not have a severe fallout like I’d just witnessed.
“Just do better than what you saw. Really talk to each other tonight and get a deeper understanding of one another. Love and respect your sister. If you got anything you wanna say, just let it out, because if you keep it in, it could blow up and get real ugly,” Cassidy told us, seeing we were affected by their blowup.
The fight between Sam and her was explosive. I knew deep down she was in agony, and her bond with her sister was now broken. My line needed a retreat to make sure we reconnected.
All during the ride over to the bed-and-breakfast ten miles out from the school, I thought about Teddi. I missed my f
riend even before the crazy incident between Cassidy and Sam, but now that I had seen how the tightest of bonds could go to blows, I knew I needed to make sure things stayed right with Teddi. We had apologized, but we were emotional. Had we really said all we needed to say to one another?
After we had a wonderful meal with the five alumni sorors who had come to get to know and spend time with us on the retreat, we were summoned to a suite. Our charge for the evening was to really go deep.
Millie broke the awkward silence by saying, “So, anybody got something to say? We talked earlier—we’re good, right?”
Quisa said, “I don’t think all of us need to work on our issues; I think just two need to. Teddi and Hailey, straighten out all the tension. Evan, Millie, maybe we can walk the grounds and observe the scenery a little? We need some fresh air.”
“Thanks, y’all. That would be nice,” Teddi said.
I just nodded in agreement, appreciating the fact that they recognized we had some things we needed to work on, and it was private. Teddi walked our new three sisters to the door and closed it behind them. When she turned back around, I was standing, not knowing what to say.
“I am really sorry,” she said, getting a little emotional. I could see the tears forming in her eyes.
“I wanted to say I’m sorry for not considering your feelings where Covin is concerned!” I said as we sat on the couch in our plush suite.
“You don’t owe me an apology,” Teddi said to me. “I was trying to hold you back from being with Covin, and that was wrong. I was upset with you for not telling me, and I held it in for so long. I know you got my back, front, side, everything, and I also know you bent over backward to make sure I was on this line.”
I just shook my head a couple times when she said that. I swore I was gonna take that to my grave. How did she know?
“I’m not stupid,” Teddi said. “I caught the vibe that the Betas weren’t feeling me at first. I got a call last, after you had a meeting with them. Besides, Sam told me what you did for me during one of the Gem ceremonies. Come on, now, Hailey. I owe you so much for being so patient with me. My last two years of high school, I thought I would be nothing without my parents, but God gave me you, a best friend. I was scared that something would take you away from me. I was thinking that if you got a guy, we would lose our connection.”
Get What You Give Page 6