“I promised myself that I could keep things between us platonic, but if you keep kissing me like that—” He broke off his sentence with a groan.
The burning intensity in his gaze made her pulse speed as cool air made contact with her wet lips. She could still taste him, and her knees went weak. Despite her resolve to keep her emotions under tight control, she wanted to mold herself against him.
Until now she’d hidden her attraction to him. After the kiss they’d shared last night, he’d left so suddenly that she felt he had no idea that she’d been half in love with him all of her life.
Before she could gather her wits, Deke did something that totally took her breath away. He tightened his arms around her and hugged her close as he rested his chin on her head. His breathing, hard and labored, mimicked hers.
“Honey, if I was staying in Crockett, I’d take you down to the floor and pleasure you until you begged me to come inside you.” His guttural tone left no doubt that he meant what he said.
Mary Beth didn’t tell him that she was only moments from doing just that. To have him admit his desire for her blew her mind. To have him hold her and touch her, make love to her, would be ecstasy.
It would also be lethal to your heart.
She shook her head. Instead of dreaming about an affair with Deke, which had no place to go, she should be glad that he’d had the presence of mind to stop things before they’d gone too far. Her feelings for him already ran too deep.
“Promises, promises,” she teased, her voice husky. Intent on getting her bearings, she moved out of his arms and gave him the wrinkled shirt. Before she could put more distance between them, he snagged her hand.
“I’m staying.” He waited until her eyes met his, then quietly looked at her a long moment. “For dinner,” he added with a taut look, then began shrugging into the shirt.
Mary Beth nodded. Her heartbeat quickened as she led the way to the kitchen. Trying to get her mind on food and off how much she wanted to kiss Deke, she began searching for something to prepare. Deke had already rummaged through her understocked cabinets, so he was well aware that there wasn’t much to choose from.
Opening the freezer door, she peered inside and inspected the contents. “I think I have some steaks,” she told him, relieved when she found several shrink-wrapped packages. Clyde had preferred to keep to his own company, which had been perfectly fine with her, so she rarely bothered to cook just for herself. She turned toward him, avoiding his eyes. “If we broil them slowly, they’ll defrost as they cook.”
“Sounds great.”
“Do you like rice?” She said a silent prayer that he did. When he nodded, she breathed a relieved sigh, knowing she didn’t have anything else to fix with the steaks if he’d said no. “I have a wonderful recipe for rice and black beans. I can make it while the steaks broil,” she said as she got two glasses and filled them with ice and tea.
Mindful of her nervousness, Deke took the steaks from her. When he’d kissed her, she’d been just as turned on as him. Interesting. “I’ll take care of the steaks while you get the rice and beans started.” Maybe it was foolish to hang around and torture himself by being near her and keeping his hands off her, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave.
Mary Beth nodded, then retrieved a pan for him to use and handed it to him. Trying to ease the tension, she asked, “So, how are you doing on the rodeo circuit?” She’d heard bits and pieces of his bull-riding exploits over the past two years. Each little detail had interested her.
He shrugged, not allowing himself to read anything other than idle curiosity into her question. “I do okay.”
She stopped in the process of opening a box of rice and put a hand on her hip. “Oh, c’mon. There was an article in the paper only a few weeks ago that reported you’re the front-runner.” She’d heard he had five major companies backing him. That alone told her he was one of the best.
He frowned. Did he notice a trace of sarcasm in her tone? Deke was used to the good-natured teasing of his brothers. Though they got on his case about being foolhardy, he could still see the pride in their eyes. He’d even gotten used to Catherine and Ashley fussing over him, making him promise to wear a protective vest. For a reason he couldn’t explain, he wanted to know what Mary Beth thought. Did she think he was irresponsible? Did she care what happened to him? Or did she think he was crazy for spending his time on the back of a bull? “Yeah,” was all he said with a shrug.
She hid a smile. Surprised by his reluctance to talk about his exploits, she watched him. “Well, first place is pretty cool, huh?”
Deke slid the steaks into the oven. “I’m in front. That doesn’t mean I’ll stay there. A bad ride for me, a good ride for a competitor, and I’m the one behind. That’s why I have to get to Houston tomorrow. There’s two other guys on my butt,” he went on. “If I don’t show up, my standings will slip. They may, anyway, if I don’t perform well.” And he wouldn’t if he didn’t get Mary Beth off his mind, which wasn’t likely because he’d been hard as a rock since he’d kissed her.
He should just leave. What was he thinking of, staying here?
“What’s it like?” She added the rice to boiling water, then covered the pot with a lid and turned the heat down. “I mean, riding a bull?” she asked, taking a sip of her tea.
He cocked his head, his grin mischievous as amusement danced in his eyes. “Unbelievable. The adrenaline rush is almost as good as sex.”
Mary Beth nearly choked on the liquid in her throat. She shot him a warning look. “Behave or I’ll send you home hungry.” Her hands were shaking, but somehow she managed to open a can of black beans without spilling them all over the counter. She took a bowl out of a cabinet and dumped the beans in it. “Why do you ride?” It couldn’t be money, she thought. With one of the most profitable ranches in Texas, the McCalls were surely wealthy. “Is it the prestige?”
He shook his head, but his distant manner at the mention of the rodeo piqued her curiosity. She pushed the subject, wanting to know more about him. “I’ve always wondered what makes a man live so dangerously.” Her contempt for footloose, danger-seeking rodeo cowboys was revealed in her tone. She’d always thought of them as shallow and reckless, living only for each thrilling competition, not caring about anyone but themselves and the wild ride.
Was that really true? Deke had proven to be just the opposite, hadn’t he? He was caring and gentle and seemed genuinely concerned about her. When he easily could have left, he’d stayed with her to make sure she was okay, had stayed around to help her.
“I don’t think about the danger.”
He was checking the steaks, and she couldn’t see his face. The sexual tension that had built between them had eased somewhat, making conversation more tolerable.
“How did you get started? Did you always want to be a rodeo cowboy?” She added spices and salsa to the beans.
“I was always fascinated by bull riding, and I started bugging my dad about letting me compete. When he felt I was old enough, he let me begin training.” Shaking his head, he smiled, but there was an unmistakable sadness in his eyes. “Until his death, he never missed a competition.” His heart ached for the days before his father had died, when he’d been the son Jacob McCall had been proud of.
“But why do you still do it?” she asked again, feeling there was something he wasn’t saying. “You take a chance on getting killed every time you climb on the back of a bull.” Remaining silent, he watched her check the rice, then turn the burner off. She pushed him further. “You’ve been hurt in the competitions before, haven’t you?”
He shrugged. “There’s an element of danger, yeah.” He went on talking, describing some of his rides and telling her of his injuries, dismissing broken bones and torn ligaments as if they were no more than scratches.
Mary Beth knew differently. She’d heard stories about Deke returning home and recuperating from injuries he’d sustained during competition. Her heart twisted. Didn’t he know he could
be hurt permanently, maybe never walk again, if a bull threw him and stomped on him—or worse, killed him? The thought of such an accident occurring, of his beautiful body twisted and scarred for life, made her cringe.
Deke looked up at that moment and saw the anguish and concern in her expression. For him. Overwhelmed, a cold place in his heart warmed at the thought of Mary Beth caring about what happened to him.
Other than Ashley and Catherine, no other woman had shown such concern for him. He’d treated Mary Beth badly in the past, and he didn’t deserve her compassion. She should hate him for having walked out on her two years ago.
“How long are you gonna ride, Deke?” she asked. “How long are you going to take a chance on getting killed?”
Shaken by the sincerity of her question, he looked away. “As long as it takes to win the championship.” He leaned down to check the steaks, then took them out of the oven as she stirred the bean mixture into the rice.
Blowing out a frustrated breath, she filled two plates with rice and beans, added the steaks, then carried them to the table. “Why is that so important?” She didn’t understand. What drove him? Didn’t he care about himself, about those who loved him?
His recklessness struck her as odd. He cared about his family, loved them enough to come home to visit as often as possible, but he continued to risk his life in a competition that would bring him nothing more than some prestige and a gold belt buckle.
“I want to win the championship before I’m too old to compete.”
They sat at the table. She regarded him with more than just casual curiosity. “You’re hardly old,” she remarked, cutting a small bite of steak. “Only a couple of years older than me, and I’ll be twenty-six on Thursday.” Mary Beth gasped, stunned that she’d blurted she was having a birthday. To her acute embarrassment, Deke jumped right on it.
He winked, then forked a piece of steak in his mouth. “Twenty-six, huh?” His gaze centered on her face. “This Thursday?”
Upset that she’d slipped and mentioned her birthday, she looked away. “It’s no big deal. Just another day.” And it would be, she thought, sadness creeping over her. As had been in most of her adult life, there would be no one special to celebrate with. Since her mother had died, her birthday, as well as holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas, meant that she’d be alone while others gathered together with families and loved ones. She had no one.
It was a fact of life she’d learned to live with.
Mary Beth became quiet as she finished eating, and Deke wondered why the mention of her birthday brought such a dispirited expression in her eyes. He shoved his empty plate away. She deserved to spend her birthday celebrating, not alone.
“There’s more rice,” Mary Beth said when she noticed he’d finished eating.
Deke chuckled and patted his full stomach. “It was delicious, but I’m stuffed.” He checked his watch, then shoved his chair away from the table. “What are you trying to do? Fatten me up so I’m too big to ride?”
She smiled, and her eyes brightened as she looked at him. “Would it work?”
“I know what I’m doing,” he said, his eyes serious.
Realizing he was leaving, she stood and took their plates to the sink. She wiped her hands on a towel, then turned to face him, trying very hard not to show how much she’d enjoyed his company. “If you say so.”
His gaze drifted lazily over her, and the itch he had to take her to bed was back in an instant, followed by a deep desire to keep her there for a week. “I’d better get home and pack.”
She nodded, then followed him as he walked to the front door. He snatched his hat from the rack where he’d hung it earlier, then opened the door and stepped outside. He turned to take one last look at her.
Mary Beth had followed him out onto the porch. “Thanks for everything.” The rain hadn’t let up. Lightning crackled and streaked across the night sky. Wrapping her arms around herself, she said, “You could stay until it lets up.” Despite the intimacy of their kiss, he hadn’t touched her again. But, oh, how she wanted him to.
Deke was sorely tempted to stay with her. His loins ached, and he could think of nothing more enjoyable than to satisfy his lust by burying himself deep inside of her. But he couldn’t use her. Over the past two days, she’d come to mean more than just an easy roll in the hay. And he had to leave before she meant more.
“I have to go.”
Did that mean that he had to get to the rodeo, or that he had to get away from her? Mary Beth looked away.
Deke watched as her expression grew somber. His gut tightened with the need to take care of her, to drive that hurt look from her expression. Unable to stop himself, he reached for her. She came willingly into his arms, pressing close to him, burying her face against his chest. Her arms slid around his waist and tightened.
“Take care of yourself,” she whispered, then started to pull away.
Deke held her to him. She lifted her face to look up at him, her eyes softening, her cheeks rosy. “I’m going to kiss you goodbye,” he said, and watched as the sadness in her eyes grew to desire. Her lips parted as he lowered his mouth and took hers with an almost desperate hunger.
The gratification was so unbelievably powerful that Deke groaned. His need to taste her one last time surpassed his will to keep his feelings for her under tight control. He deepened the kiss as she clung to him. Hot, aching for her, he explored her mouth with his tongue, and her moist warmth enveloped him. Her soft, delicate moan of pleasure made his blood hot.
He could feel her breasts pressed against him, and his hand moved to cup one, finding her nipple hardened to a rigid peak. He caressed her with his fingers, and she pressed her hips against the cradle of his pelvis, against the hard bulge in his jeans, driving him close to the edge of insanity.
Deke tore his mouth from hers. This was wrong. If he didn’t stop things between them now, he wouldn’t be able to walk away from her. His breathing was rough, his chest heaving as he sucked in air. He tightened his arms around her for a brief moment, then let her go, stepping quickly away from her while he still could.
He had to leave. Now. Mary Beth wasn’t the type of woman for a quick tumble. And a quickie with her wouldn’t come close to satisfying this overwhelming need he had for her.
His gaze, heavy-lidded with desire, swept slowly over her. Her eyes were glistening, her lips swollen from his kiss.
Go, he ordered himself. Forcing himself to move, he turned and made his way to his truck, immune to the pelting rain and mighty roar of thunder.
Her heart pounding, Mary Beth stared after Deke, watched him walk out of her life.
Just like two years ago.
No, not exactly. This time she hadn’t slept with him.
You wanted to.
Oh, yeah, she did. But his leaving was best. She knew it was. Somehow, he’d begun to tear down her defenses, to make her want him again. She’d made the mistake of trusting her heart to Deke before. Watching him leave hurt her, but the pain was far less than it would have been if she let herself fall in love with him.
Again.
Six
In the quiet of the early morning, Mary Beth lay in her bed and stared at the ceiling, the empty house closing in on her. Sunlight began peeking through her drab beige curtains as silence enveloped her. The isolation, the complete aloneness, was almost too much to bear.
It’s only your birthday. You should be used to spending the day alone.
Though she’d made casual friends while living and working in San Antonio, none of them had been close enough to even know the date of her birthday, let alone take time out of their busy schedule to celebrate it with her.
She sniffed and touched a finger to her face where a single tear trickled down her cheek. She really had to shake these blues. It was a waste of time feeling sorry for herself.
Is it company you miss? Or Deke?
Deke.
She didn’t miss Deke McCall, but even as she denied the thought, his
handsome face drifted through her mind. He’d only been gone five days. Five days! She balled her fists and closed her eyes. Why was she lying here thinking about Deke?
She didn’t need a man in her life, didn’t want a man in her life. Hadn’t she learned the hard way that men couldn’t be trusted, couldn’t be depended on? Her father had been a prime example. Hank Adams had never been around when she and her mother had needed him. Instead of supporting them both during her mother’s illness, her father had run off chasing another of his foolish schemes to get rich quick.
She didn’t need a man.
Especially a man like Deke McCall, whose ambition in life was to win some stupid rodeo title.
He’s already proved to you that he couldn’t be depended on.
“You should be thanking your lucky stars that he’s gone,” she chided herself as she opened her eyes and forced herself to get out of bed, “instead of pining for him like some silly teenager.” She’d be a fool to let him close enough to hurt her again. And the best way to make sure that didn’t happen was to stop thinking about him.
Easier said than done, when all she thought about was the way she’d felt in his arms. And how much, against every sane thought, she’d wanted to kiss him again.
Fatigued from a rough night’s sleep and from doing all of the daily ranch chores alone, she trudged to the bathroom, every muscle in her body begging for a massage. Her days were long and hard, and she’d pushed herself to the point of exhaustion just trying to keep up. Each day it was getting more difficult to get everything done.
Even she had been forced to admit to herself that there was no way she could continue running the ranch without help. So, two days ago, she’d placed an advertisement in the paper for a ranch hand. But it was a foolish waste of time. She could only pay minimum wage. Who in their right mind would work for that small amount of money? Though she silently prayed someone would, if she never received one phone call, she wouldn’t be surprised.
Her Texan Temptation Page 7