by J. Saman
“I...” he looks down, “had my reasons, Lara.” He looks back up at me now with beseeching eyes. “I came to see you at your apartment, and outside the hospital. You were smiling and looked happy. I knew that once you saw me that smile would vanish. That happiness would be gone, and you’d be hurt and angry, and I would be the cause of that. I chickened out those times,” he pauses, his eyes full of pain, “and then I saw you in a bar downtown one night. You were wearing a dress that made your gorgeous green eyes sparkle. You were the angel from my dreams and I decided then and there I would approach you. You were alone at the bar, sipping on a Manhattan of all things, looking so fucking perfect I needed a second to catch my breath. By the time I caught it, your arms were around another man. He was kissing you and I heard you giggling as he whispered into your ear. That was the moment I knew I’d lost you.”
He looks down again, and I swear my heart just gives out. It’s done. I have nothing left. I’m suddenly so tired. So completely heartbroken and exhausted all over again. “I’m moving to London with Tom for the year,” I blurt out without really thinking about what I’m saying. I’m not sure who’s more shocked by this, Levi or myself.
“What?” he asks, incredulous.
“Tom has to go to London for business for a year. He asked me to go with him.”
“And you told him yes?” He squeezes my hand, and it’s only then that I realize he’s still holding it. His eyes boring into mine.
I shake my head. “I haven’t told him an answer yet.”
He blows out a breath like he’s relieved, but his body is still tense.
“What if I asked you to stay?” I pull my hand away from his though he tries to fight me on that. “Lara, don’t go to London with him,” he says sternly, apparently taking it up a notch before I can even respond.
“You can’t ask that of me, Levi. I’ve been with Tom for almost two years. He loves me and wants a future.” He looks like he’s going to interrupt me, but I stop him. “I haven’t seen you in seven years. I understand why you left me. I really do, which is not something I ever thought possible if we’re being honest. What I don’t understand is why you stayed away. Why you didn’t contact me in any way. My phone number hasn’t changed. You could have called or... fuck, a text would have worked. Dammit Levi, do not ask me to stay for you when you didn’t fucking come back for me, or fight for us.” I stand up suddenly needing to get the hell out of here and away from him. “After you got Tanya back and the goddamn threat to my life was over, I still didn’t hear shit from you,” I accuse, my arms folded over my chest before I look straight into his eyes. He needs to hear this and I need to say it. “I love Tom. He’s good to me and he makes me happy. I’m moving to London with him when I graduate in May. Thank you for finally telling me all that. I can’t tell you what that means to me.” His stunned and pained expression is the last thing I see before I turn and walk away.
11
Levi
Eight and a half years ago
Moving in your senior year of high school sucks. Moving to escape the demons that haunt your family so you and your mother can get a “fresh start” is only slightly worse. My sister Tanya was kidnapped from our house where she was sleeping, over a year ago.
She vanished, leaving behind a bloody rip of her clothing and absolutely no leads to follow. To say it crippled us would be a gross understatement. We did everything within our limited power to get her back, but we failed. The police finally considered her a cold case and told us that she was probably dead and that we should accept that she wasn’t coming back.
Nice, huh?
My mother grew up in Brooklyn and lived there until she met my father, after which she married him and they moved to California. My miserable excuse for a father got himself into some financial trouble and fled when Tanya was just a baby. My mother did the best she could to raise us on her own, but now it’s just the two of us. Any light my mother had left died the minute my baby sister was taken.
About two months ago, my mother’s life-long best friend called her and somehow convinced her to come to the Boston area for a job and a new start. A new life. Reluctantly, my mother agreed, and here I am.
I only know one person, Caleb Schwartz, who is the son of my mother’s friend. I’ve known him my whole life and he’s a good guy. A lot of fun to hang out with so at the very least I have one friend.
A friend is a good commodity in high school.
Especially a new high school.
When I got here two days ago, he came over and filled me in on everything that I needed to know. Paying singular attention to telling me all about the girl situation, because well, we’re teenage boys.
We care about little else.
Caleb told me about two girls in particular, Lara and Jane. Jane has been his girlfriend for a year and I am by no means allowed to touch. The other girl, Lara, who is apparently friends with Jane, is the hottest piece of ass in school. His words, not mine.
She’s smart to boot I was informed—like it matters.
I can hardly see their brains when the lights are off.
He also proceeded to tell me that she’s the biggest challenge of all of his friends. She dated some dude last year, but he went off to college and she dumped his ass before he left, making her single.
I like single girls.
I like single girls with big tits, which apparently this Lara has.
In any event, this chick is in my Advanced Placement biology class, and more than likely a couple of my other classes since she primarily takes AP’s—as do I. Normally I don’t get excited over girls. I never ever chase them.
They chase me.
Girls have usually filled one purpose for me: Sex. I don’t really plan to go out of my way for this girl either. Especially since I’m assuming she’s a stuck-up bitch who knows what she looks like and her subsequent effect on guys. I do, however, want to see her for myself up close and determine if Caleb was bullshitting me or not.
I’ve seen Jane. His taste is subject.
So, here I sit, in the seat next to the one I know is hers. I only know because I asked some girl with crazy, red, curly hair and the thickest damn glasses I’ve ever seen. Her face matched her hair the second I walked into the room, so I knew I had an easy target. She was so flustered by my speaking to her that she didn’t even get upset when I asked her where another girl sat.
Poor thing.
Right before the bell rings, the class is practically full and the teacher is at the front of the room, pretending to read a piece of paper so he doesn’t have to look at his students. The seat next to me is still vacant, and I’m actually a little disappointed by the idea that this mystery girl might not show up today.
The door to the room is suddenly blocked by a girl of average height, with long, thick, dark hair, and definitely one of the most luscious asses I’ve ever seen. It’s showcased nicely in her skinny jeans, and she’s wearing a short gray shirt, giving me a hint of her back.
Ah, she’s wearing matching gray Chucks. Awesome. This must be her.
Her back is to the room as she leans on the door frame talking to someone. She starts to turn, blowing whomever it was a kiss as they walk away and she enters the room.
My breath stops.
Holy hell.
A slight smirk curling at the corners of her full raspberry tinted lips makes her look like she’s privy to a secret that no one else is in on. It fucking has me guessing, and I haven’t even finished appraising her. Her eyes are still looking down, so I take a minute to examine the incredible body heading my way. Her legs are long and lean in her jeans. She has a tiny freaking waist that leads up to the most amazing rack I’ve ever seen, which is really saying something.
Big, round and perfect.
Damn
She tilts her face up, finally looking towards her seat just as the bell rings, signaling the start of first period. She stops suddenly when she sees that I’m sitting at the small two-person table she normally o
ccupies. The smirk on her lips vanishes and is replaced by a small O shape. Her light green eyes are wide in shock and it takes everything I have not to laugh at her reaction.
She looks like she’s just been smacked on the ass.
Something I’d love to do. An ass like that needs to be smacked.
Looking at her face more carefully as she draws closer, I am happy to report that my boy Caleb was definitely not lying.
This girl is smoking hot.
Getting over her initial shock and finally making it all the way to her seat, she tosses her bag on the floor with a loud thud as she slides into her seat with an easy grace. She turns to look at me, tilting her head like she’s trying to figure me out. “You’re not Alexis,” she accuses with a slight scowl that I wasn’t expecting. Girls don’t usually scowl at me, and this reaction disappoints and intrigues me in equal measure.
“Hi. I’m Levi Katz. I’m new here,” I say with my panty-dropping smile.
“Levi,” she tests my name on her tongue, and I’m dying to suck on her full bottom lip and see if it tastes as sweet as it looks. “Yes, I know who you are. My friend Jane told me about you. Her boyfriend is Caleb,” she clarifies as if I didn’t know, and then turns to face the front without even giving me her name. It would almost seem like I have a bad reputation before I’ve even interacted with anyone.
Is it wrong that I love how she just blew me off?
She’s annoyed by my very presence, which is obvious by her withdrawn body language and cold reaction to my sitting beside her. I think I’m going to have to have a little chat with Caleb, because if he painted me a player with the girls in the school I’ll beat his ass.
The teacher calls class to order, and it takes a lot more willpower than I would have thought to look away from her.
She feisty and I like it. It’s a challenge and a surprise. Since when do I give a flying fuck what a girl is like? I don’t think I like just how strongly I’m reacting to her. I come from the school of bang ‘em and leave ‘em. This may be harsh, but girlfriends are drama. They’re complicated and get clingy.
Girls rarely surprise me and I find I rather enjoy her bad reaction to me, which is sorta strange. I kind of can’t wait until the next time we speak. I want to see if I can rattle her cage a bit. Throw her off her throne, because she obviously feels she reigns at this school. My wish is granted only ten short minutes later as my new favorite teacher breaks us into our lab partners—our seatmates—to work on a lab.
Enjoyably, she scowls again when she realizes that she’s stuck with me today. “Looks like it’s you and me today. . .” I leave the sentence hanging, while I pop an eyebrow at her, in hopes that she’ll tell me her name. Of course I already know it.
“Lara, my name is Lara. I guess I am stuck with you today.” She pulls her sheet in front of her eyes and starts to read over it and groans audibly.
“What’s up?” I ask, eyeing her trying to hide my amusement.
“I already finished this lab. Alexis isn’t a huge fan of bio and I didn’t want to have to rely on her to do it with me, so I just did it.” She looks frustrated and angry with herself for that.
“And that makes you upset because?” Am I missing something?
“Because now we have nothing to do for the rest of class,” she says, annoyed. Reluctantly, she glances up at me, looking over my facial features one by one like she’s not sure what to make of me. My cock is twitching.
God, this girl is so fucking hot. Her green eyes remind me of the sea glass that would wash up on the beach in California.
“Well, you could get the stick outta your ass and we could talk a bit.” I tilt my head. “Actually, I’d like to see your finished product here. How do I know you did it correctly?” I ask, holding out my hand. This girl could be stupid, and I’m risking my grade on her? Not happening. Nothing about her strikes me as dumb, but I’ll take the excuse to keep this going.
She slaps the paper into my hands without responding to the stick in the ass comment, which I find frustrating and interesting. Most girls get pretty fucking pissed when you insult them. Not this girl apparently.
I make a show of reading over her results to the work and lab stuff, which all look right. Smart, beautiful and a smoking body. Yes, I am a bit of a misogynist. But not really. After what happened with Tanya, I just like to keep my life easy. Simple. And a lot of high school girls are neither of those things. “Looks good. Thanks for doing it for me,” I say as I write my name at the top next to hers.
“I didn’t do it for you. I did it for me.” She rolls her eyes and turns to face the front.
I don’t like her turning away from me. For some reason, it really irritates me. “Did I do something to piss you off?” I ask, trying to hide the laughter that is dying to break out.
She huffs, turning to face me, her eyes softening a bit. “No, you didn’t,” she pauses, assessing me again. “I’m sorry, I know I’m being a total cuntrag this morning. It’s not you. I just really needed to talk to Alexis about something and she’s apparently AWOL.”
This chick just said cuntrag. I have never met a girl who uses the forbidden C word. It might be the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard.
“I don’t think you’re being a cuntrag,” I smile. I can’t help it. “You can talk to me, unless it’s about girl shit, in which case I’d rather you not.” Finally, she starts to laugh, and it’s the most beautiful sound, matching her incredible smile. What is wrong with me?
“No, it’s nothing like that. It’s about a stupid party tonight,” she says, like it’s no big deal. “Why did you start school on a Friday?” she asks, tilting her head again, which I realize she does when she’s trying to figure something out.
“I just moved into town on Wednesday and I needed yesterday to get my shit together at home before I started school again.” I wave my hand around the room. “So here I am.”
“I see. Jane said you’re from California.” It’s not a question, but I find I want to answer her anyway to keep the conversation going.
“Yes. California. We moved here for my mom’s new job.” She nods and I’m hoping that’s as far as the personal questions go. I have no interest in divulging anything about my sister, or our reasons for moving here other than my mother’s new job.
“You know Caleb?” She seems confused by this.
“Yeah. Our moms’ grew up together.” Another nod and then she bites her lip. Fuck me, that’s hot.
“Does that mean you’re going to the party at his house tonight?” Is she hopeful? I think she might be hopeful. I have to suppress my smile because damn this girl is unexpected.
“Don’t know yet. I have a lot of things to get done, but maybe.” And because I can’t resist. “Why? Would you like me to come?” Yes, I absolutely mean that in the crudest way possible.
She blushes slightly, obviously catching my double meaning, but ignores it. “Couldn’t care less actually.”
“Sure, that’s why you just invited me.” Her eyebrows shoot up and her mouth pops open. It’s an adorable reaction.
“I did not!” she almost shrieks.
“Sure you did. You asked me if I was going to the party.”
“That was not an invitation, simply a question for information.” She’s getting annoyed and flustered and I’m loving it.
“Sure, okay. Whatever you say,” I say flatly and she rolls her eyes again at me.
“You’re kind of being a dick.”
“I’d show you just what kind of a dick I can be, but I don’t believe this is the time or place.” She laughs again, which is not what I was anticipating. At all. Girls don’t laugh at dick and sex jokes. They get angry or embarrassed with those.
I’m having trouble figuring her out, which is something entirely new for me. I guess if I’m being honest, I don’t think I’ve ever tried before to figure a girl out.
“I’d say you’re cocky too, but I suppose I’m just setting myself up with that one.” This time I laugh.
“Yes, you would be.” I wink. “I’m liking your interest in it.” I get treated to her blush again.
“I have no interest in your dick or anything else about you for that matter.” She rolls her eyes again, trying to face away from me.
Ignoring the effect of her saying the word dick has on mine, I focus on something else. “Is that some sort of nervous twitch of yours?”
“What?” She turns back to my eyes which is the only place I want her look to go.
“The eye rolling.” I gesture towards her gorgeous green eyes.
“Do you find it acceptable to make fun of people’s nervous reactions?” Fucking girl just called me out on my fake insult.
“Not usually, but for you I’m happy to make an exception.” I wink again making her glare at me.
“Do you always flirt like this with strange girls?” She thinks she’s going to rattle me with this, but no way, no how.
“No, only with the really hot ones. And I wouldn’t call you strange.” I toss over my-panty dropping smile again. “Why? Do I make you uncomfortable?” Her cheeks warm. I love that color on her. Her skin is like porcelain. Pale and perfect, but when she blushes like that, it makes my heart beat faster.
“Are you trying to?” She’s attempting to deflect again. This girl doesn’t like talking about herself. Despite her confidence, she’s understated. Cagey, but understated.
“Yes, actually I am. Is it working?” I lean into her, breathing in lavender and vanilla. Perfect. I have to suppress my groan because fuck all if my dick doesn’t notice. She starts to laugh again, shifting in her seat. She’s visibly uncomfortable, but it seems out of place on her. She doesn’t strike me as the type to let her tough exterior crack easily.