by Molly Snow
“Idis, I was just trying to help. You know—stop, drop, and roll?”
She continued staring.
“Here, let me just… fix your hair a little,” Pussface said apologetically, drawing out four claws and combing her bangs a bit.
“DON’T touch me!” She pushed him away.
“I was just trying to help.”
She stood up, pulled down her dress and excused herself to the bathroom, then returned with a wet towel dabbing herself. “Broom, please.”
Pussface obediently handed her the broom.
WHAP! “Now I feel better,” she exclaimed.
Pussface sunk to the ground, seeing stars.
“Now, like I was saying—you stupid cat—tomorrow I want you to go house to house throughout this whole neighborhood, hiding in backyards, peeking in windows, trying to find where the girl lives who switched bodies with Surla. Got that?”
The next day of school was pretty much the same for Surla: Craig was flirty, Tiffany was snobby, Chrissy was distant, and Todd was nice even after the incident with Cathy’s mom. During lunch, Todd helped Surla with her studies in the library, where Cathy’s mom said they should study.
After school, on the usual walk home, Tiffany stopped Surla. “I see no one is giving you a ride home today.”
“Likewise,” Surla responded.
Tiffany and her two friends followed beside her. “Don’t you remember me telling Craig I won’t be needing a ride home from him anymore because I’m about to receive my license?”
What Surla did remember was seeing the back of her head in Craig’s car yesterday, but she decided to say nothing. She still saw the missing cat notices posted everywhere, which was more important at the moment than Tiffany’s rude comments.
“You think you’re so hot these last few days, don’t you?” the conceited girl kept on.
“What are you talking about?” Surla pretended to be confused. “I’ve always been hot.”
“I wouldn’t say that.” She raised an eyebrow. “But recently you have come close to looking normal.”
Surla stopped walking. “Listen, um, this is getting really old. You have been obsessed with bothering me for a long time now and I don’t know why, but you and your friends…,” she glanced at Chrissy and Lisa, “are not going to lower my self-esteem and you are not going to stop me from being who I am.”
She continued to walk until she came to the intersection where they would depart. “Yeah, well…,” Tiffany was searching for some last words, “you just better watch your back… because… because anything can happen. Just be ready for it.”
Surla sighed and continued down her street. She’s never going to quit, Surla thought.
Saturday morning was brighter than the usual days for fall. Rays filtered in through Cathy’s curtains and onto her bed, where Surla was curled up into a ball at the bottom. She stretched, accidentally hitting Cathy with her arm, waking her also.
“That’s what I thought would happen,” Cathy said after yawning.
“What?” Surla asked.
“It’s a beautiful day out and I’m grounded.” Cathy wiped her eyes tiredly.
“Cathy, you stay at home practically all the time now. What’s the difference?”
“I know. It does affect me though because I can’t watch Lassie now.”
“Yeah.” Surla agreed. “And I can’t watch talk shows.”
The two then looked at each other like they were just brought out of a daydream. Cathy spoke first. “Do you think I am beginning to think like a real cat?”
“I know what you’re saying. I’m feeling more human every day.”
“This is scary.”
“Yeah.”
“D-do you think this can become permanent? Like I could be stuck as a cat for the rest of my life.”
“No, it can’t be,” Surla answered. “If that’s true, then my life span has been shortened a couple hundred years. Seriously though, I think we’re just figuring out how it feels to be one another.”
“How do you like it? Being me?” Cathy sat up.
“I can see how a human’s teenage years can be very emotional. I’ve never felt so many feelings as I do now that I’m being you. I mean, before I was able to feel angry and frustrated with Idis and even envious of the cat from across the street. But…,” she patted down her flyaway hair, “I never felt anticipation for tomorrow or excitement to meet new people like Todd. Most importantly, I never felt loved like what becoming a part of your family did.”
“Thanks, Surla.”
“For what?”
“Crossing paths with me.”
Chapter 9
Pussface had been watching people around the neighborhood for a couple of hours. He saw ordinary situations: men mowing their shaggy lawns, people riding bicycles together in unattractive Speedos, and others gardening.
“I haven’t seen anything unusual so far,” he muttered while passing lovely one-story homes. One had a blooming rose bush and children’s toys in the yard. The toys were being played with by a little girl with blond pigtails.
“A kitty!” he heard her say. She skipped over to Pussface in her pink-striped dress. He let her pet him a minute with her chubby fingers. “Good kitty-kitty.”
“Okay, I must be going now. I have business to take care of,” the cat said, but before he could walk away, she picked him up, unsteadily. Half of his body dragged on the ground. The girl looked like she was of an age of believing in imaginary friends, so a talking cat didn’t surprise her at all.
“Kitty-kitty, come play with me.” She smiled while rubbing her head on his.
“What have I gotten myself into?” Pussface sighed as they entered the house.
“Shhh,” she whispered and brought him into her bedroom. She dropped him, then closed the door quietly. “My mommy doesn’t like kitties. She-she says they make hew sneeze.” Like most young children, she couldn’t pronounce her Rs.
“Maybe I should go then.” He knew if Idis saw he was wasting time playing, she would be very angry.
“No. Just for an itty bit of time. Stay and play.” The girl pulled a plastic child’s table to the center of the room. She then scooted two little chairs to it. “We awe vewy phosisticated ladies.” She went to her closet after placing Pussface on a chair.
“Can’t I play a sophisticated man instead?”
“No!” she demanded and grabbed herself a big hat with a red ribbon on it. She then took a doll off the bed and began to undress it.
“What are you doing?” he asked, fearing his assumption.
“Like I said, we awe phosisticated ladies.”
“How old are you?”
“Thwee.” She held up four fingers.
“Okay.” Just then he felt her stuffing the doll’s dress over his head. “Agh! I think that’s the arm-hole,” he choked.
“Oops.” She giggled, then put it on right, Velcroing the back together. “That looks lovely, Emily.” She raised the pitch of her voice in an attempt to sound like a proper woman.
“Thanks.” He looked down to the flowered pattern and puffy shoulders. “But the name is Pussface. My witch calls me Pusface, but it’s Pussface.”
“Okay, Emily.” She sat across from him and smiled. “We awe having a tea pawty. We awe pwincesses.”
“How absolutely splendid,” he mimicked a woman’s voice from England.
The little girl giggled and pretended to take a sip of tea out of thin air. Her pinky finger was sticking straight out.
Pussface began to follow her motion with a paw. “Where’s my pinky?! Oh dear heavens, my pinky is missing!” he joked.
“Silly Emily. Isn’t it a beautiful day out?” She took another imaginary sip.
“Yes, a beautiful day to play cricket. And a beautiful day to find Surla.”
“What?”
“Hey.” Pussface’s orange eyes opened wide. “Maybe you can help me.”
“Help you do what, Emily?”
“Have you seen anot
her black cat around lately? Maybe you’ve had a tea party with another talking cat?”
“Nope. Just you.” Her hand pet the top of his head.
“I look ridiculous in this outfit and it feels tight. I think it might be cutting off some circulation.” One of his back legs was feeling a bit numb.
“You’re not playing wight.” Her bottom lip pouted.
“I’m sorry, but I really must be on my way now.”
“Okay.” She picked him up, still not steadily.
“I can walk you know. In fact, I can walk and talk at the same time.” He hoped she would drop him but she didn’t until he was brought to the porch. “I still haven’t figured out how to talk and chew gum though. Maneuvering words around not only my snaggletooth but also gum is—”
“Bye, bye, kitty.” She waved.
“Wait, can you take off this silly dress first?”
“It’s a gift to you from me.” A kiss was blown, then the door shut.
Pussface’s back legs dragged along Idis’s wooden floors. The tight dress made half of his body numb. “I need this terrible contraption to be taken off me as soon as possible, otherwise I’ll have to go to the vet and have my legs fixed,” he grumbled, while sliding into the living room to where the witch sat on her green velvet couch, as usual.
“What’s this?” Idis stood in surprise. “Like I said earlier, you aren’t taking this job seriously.” She glared at the homely cat. “What have you been doing?”
Pussface dragged himself closer to her. “Please, just take it off.”
“Hee hee he.” She laughed at the sight. “You are literally a drag queen. Get it? Not only are you wearing a dress, which isn’t your color by the way, you have to drag yourself around. Hee hee he.”
“It’s cutting off my circulation. Please!” he begged.
After finally getting it off, the use of his legs slowly came back and Idis became more serious. “Tomorrow you will go through the other half of the neighborhood you didn’t get to yet.” She sat back down on the couch and pulled a boot off, exposing a gnarly toe poking out through her red sock. “Then there will be no failing in finding Surla. She couldn’t have gone far. I need my magic. I am tired of doing everything the hard way.” She yanked and yanked at her other boot until finally getting it free. That revealed an even bigger gnarly toe sticking through her socks. “If you fail, Pusface, you won’t know what hit you!” She threw the boot down hard on the floor for emphasis.
“I know. It’s the perfect plan,” Pussface heard while balancing on a tree branch, high enough to see the back of a blond girl, talking on the phone through a second story window. “She has changed so much. You would think someone took over her body.”
“Someone else taking over her body?” the scroungy cat repeated to himself. “This could be a good clue.”
“Yes, she’ll get what she deserves.” The girl laid back on her bed. “Trying to make me look bad. I know. What a tramp. I bet she thinks every guy in school likes her.” She paused. “Well, all the guys do like me.” There was another pause, then laughter. “This should teach her to not be so catty.”
Catty? Pussface listened. His orange eyes glowed through the window. Who is this girl she’s speaking of? He was more than curious to know; he needed to know.
“I’m wondering about Chrissy, though,” she continued. “You can tell she feels sorry for the nerd. I don’t think I should tell her. It will just be you, me, and Lisa that will know… Yeah, she’ll probably blab to Cathy.”
Cathy! I bet that’s the girl’s name. Pussface got excited and shifted his weight when suddenly the tree branch was breaking under him.
“Oh no!” he blurted and hugged the branch with all four legs. Right then it snapped, sending him into the bushes. He laid flat on his back, still holding the branch tight and spitting out a leaf.
“Who’s there?” the girl’s voice called.
Pussface used his last feeling of energy to bolt down the street. He turned, seeing half of the girl’s body leaning out the window, the phone still to her ear.
Chapter 10
Surla was clipping the points off of her fake nails in Cathy’s bedroom. She decided they were getting in her way. It just wasn’t the same having them as a human. Cathy was reading a paperback book on her bed. Her front paws held the pages down. She was on the most suspenseful part of the story.
The sound of the doorknob turning startled them. Cathy’s mom caught just a glimpse of the book before Cathy shoved it off the bed. She shook her head, like she imagined it, then said, “Cathy, I’m going to walk to the grocery store. Would you like to come?”
Surla turned to Cathy to see no response. “Um, actually, I think I should clean up my room.”
Cat food cans and soda cans were sprawled around the small bedroom. “Okay, I think that’s a good idea.”
“Okay, bye.”
“Bye, honey.” The door shut and Cathy dropped to the floor to finish the last page to the chapter she was reading.
This is the perfect place to watch people, Pussface thought as he sat on a bench to the bus stop outside of Revere Park. He was still searching for any suspicious actions which would lead to finding Surla.
Pretty soon a man with an obvious toupee, carrying a briefcase, sat down next to the cat. He was one of the first people Idis had handed the missing cat fliers to. His eyes glanced to Pussface, then turned once more, staring with interest.
“Hey there,” the man spoke. “Are you lost? What are you doing here? Hoping to get home this way? First you need some money, little guy. I don’t think pets are allowed on board.”
Pussface pondered a moment on how funny it would be if he actually decided to respond. Yeah, maybe if you hide me in your jacket the bus driver won’t notice… or I’m just waiting here to pick up some girls, ones with long sexy whiskers and a fluffy tail that will have me running in circles around her all day… or maybe even if I just said ‘hi’ to the guy he would go crazy; then maybe that carcass, he thinks is hair, will come back to life and will run away. But Pussface decided to be a nice kitty and not behave that way.
A long blue and white bus came and took the man away to his home, but before he left he stated, “If I had the time, I would take you home right now, but I have a job to go to.”
Pussface continued to watch passersby. One with ragged clothes and scraggly hair stopped in front of him. The guy was obviously drunk by his behavior. “H-hey, I know you.”
Whatever you say. Pussface didn’t take the man seriously.
“Yeah, I-I know you. You’re all over the park. Go on home. Be glad you have a home.” With those words, the man hopped the stone wall into the park, which in a way was the strange man’s home.
More people passing by looked at Pussface with curiosity. Haven’t they ever seen a black cat before?
Soon a lady holding a grocery bag spotted Pussface also, but she walked over to him, and with a sudden grasp, he was held in her free arm.
Oh no, not again. I don’t have time to play another tea party. I’m busy trying to find Surla, the cat muttered in his head.
“Surla? Is that your name?” she said. One of Pussface’s ears turned, alert. He wondered how this woman knew that name.
“I guess you are Surla, by the way you responded.” She started walking again. “Your owner has been looking for you. The park is packed with your picture.”
Pussface looked around, seeing the fliers posted on trees and poles. If only I was taller, I would have noticed.
“How about I take you to your home?” She smiled brightly. “But first I’ll feed and clean you.”
A bath! He imagined himself in the sudsy bubbles. I hate baths!
Surla and Cathy heard the front door open and a ruffling of a bag being set down in the kitchen. “Cathy, you’ll never guess what I found!” her mother called.
“Probably not,” Surla said while coming down the hall to meet her.
“Have you seen those fliers about a missing cat?”<
br />
“Yeah.” Fear swelled up in her body.
What she found was not what she expected, but was as equally horrifying. Surla silently gasped. What is he doing here? Idis must have something to do with this!
Pussface was cradled in Julie’s arms. “I just saw fliers everywhere on my way to the grocery store. I bet its owner will be happy that I found her cat. It looks like the streets were brutal to the poor fella.”
He always looks that bad, Surla wanted to say.
“What’s wrong, Cathy?”
“I think you should take it back home to its owner right now,” Surla said almost rudely.
“That’s not what you said about Licorice.”
“Well, this cat looks like it could have fleas. You don’t want Licorice to catch them, do you?” Her eyebrows went up in exclamation.
Pussface looked down at his unhealthy fur. Surla was afraid that her homely cousin would see Cathy if he stayed long. That would definitely reveal her identity for Idis.
“That’s why I’m going to give him a flea bath first, then feed him.”
“Well you should do it fast before fleas start getting all over the house.”
“I agree.” She started walking down the hallway toward the bathroom.
Surla ran ahead, entered her room and shut the door before the enemy cat could catch a glimpse of her cat body. Cathy was sitting on the windowsill.
“Cathy,” Surla whispered.
She turned around and saw the seriousness in her blue eyes. “What’s the matter?” Cathy whispered back.
“Idis is very close to finding us. My cousin is with your mom in the bathroom getting a flea bath.” Surla talked faster. “If he sees me, or ‘you’ I should say, then I don’t know what will happen, but it will be bad.”
“What should we do? Should I hide somewhere?” Cathy’s fur stood up on her back.
“Yeah, that’s a good idea. They’ll be leaving to take Pussface back home to Idis soon, because she thinks he is me. For now you can hide in…” She looked over the almost bare, neat room.