He frowned and sarcastically remarked “Happy to have you? Who the fuck is over there? Ned Flanders?”
“I’d be fine with that at this point.”
As a smile spread across his face and Jenny ran through the door, I noticed they’d taken the first shirt away and lowered another one. This time gray, but with the same red marker. I looked through the scope. “It says… We have more than enough food and ammo. We are safe.”
Jenny scoffed “Well that’s just not true.”
Walt said “They probably mean reasonably safe.”
I looked away and turned to Jenny. “The first message said – Happy to have you. Please drive up slowly.”
Jenny’s brow crinkled in disbelief. “Wow, I didn’t really expect that.”
“Me either.”
“Maybe everything we’ve been through is finally going to pay off.” Walt suggested.
Jenny went back to the front door and motioned for the others to leave the car and come back inside. “The three of us will go. If only two of us show up, they’ll know we’re hiding people. It could cast a bad light.”
“I’m in.”
“Me too.”
When we told Allen and Veronica what happened, they seemed happy and optimistic, even though they were clearly nervous. Clara on the other hand, still held onto nothing but worry. Before we headed out to the car she warned “Don’t trust them.”
As we all got in the SUV, Walt said “Am I the only one who has a bad feeling?”
Jenny and I both answered “no” at exactly the same time.
“They could let us get to the gate and then light up the car. We wouldn’t be able to get away.”
“You’re right, but they have no motive… They have everything and we have nothing. Why would they possibly risk getting killed so they could rob us?”
I scoffed “Just about everything so far has turned to shit… By the laws of the fuckin universe something good should happen any day now.”
Jenny started up the car and put it in drive, but didn’t take her foot off the brake. “If you two really want to just leave and head for that island… I’ll follow you.”
I said “Who knows what could happen on the way there. It isn’t exactly close.”
“Fuck it, just go.” Walt barked. “If this could possibly make it so we aren’t all living like scared rats, it’s worth the risk to me.”
I looked over to Jenny and nodded, so she let off the brake and rolled out into the road. She stopped again at the corner and said “I’m really nervous about this. I don’t think I’ve ever been so nervous about anything in my whole life.”
I replied “Same here.”
Walt didn’t respond, but I heard him checking over his rifle and switching the safety off.
Jenny turned the corner and slow drove toward the wall. I had to keep squeezing my hands into fists to stop my nerves from making them feel weak and almost numb. When I looked over at Jenny I could see her chest expanding as she took slow and deep breaths.
There were only three of them up on the wall, but all three of them had rifles pointed at the SUV. Regardless of that, by the time were about a hundred yards away, I was already beginning to calm down.
The moment I felt my body slightly relax, I heard a strange sound, and then noticed a small hole had appeared in the windshield. There was a sudden burning sensation in my arm.
As my eye widened, more holes appeared and the windshield began to crack. I could hear the bullets bouncing off of the hood and tearing through the car as I watched the side mirror burst from being struck. I was fully expecting to feel the pain of being shot multiple times. I expected to look over and see that the same had happened to Jenny, and for her to let go of the wheel and crash the car.
Instead, she floored it and made the first left. I looked down at my arm, immediately relieved to see that it had only grazed it. There was decent sized chunk of flesh missing, but it was something I could ignore.
Jenny started screaming “What the fuck!? Why would they do that!?” She looked over to me. “You’re shot!?”
“No, no it just grazed me. I’m fine.” I said, still somewhat stunned.
Why hasn’t Walt said anything?
She turned back to look at Walt. “Oh no, no, no… Fuck!”
I tried to turn around, but Jenny slid the SUV around the next left and pinned me to the door. We had to hurry and circle around to pick up Clara and the others before they come after us. When she turned back again and yelled “Walt! Walt! Don’t close your eyes! Stay awake!” I already knew.
He moved to the middle seat so he could lean forward and look through the windshield…
I could see that more than a few holes were lined up with exactly where he was sitting. I was so overcome with emotion that I couldn’t move. I couldn’t even look back to check on him. The only thought that finally freed me from my paralyzed state was knowing I could miss his final moments.
Walt had fallen over to his left. The side of his face was resting on the grey leather seat. His eyes and mouth were open, but they were completely still. There were two spots on the front of his shirt beginning to turn red, and I could see blood coming out from near his neck and collecting around his face.
He’s already gone…
Jenny screeched to a halt in front of the antique store and laid on the horn. I couldn’t take my eyes off of Walt. As I watched Allen and Veronica climb in and push his limp body aside, I felt mine go numb. It all seemed to be happening in slow motion. When Veronica helped Clara into the very back to avoid having to see Walt, it seemed to take an eternity.
Jenny had run around to the trunk so she could grab the duffle bag with the medical supplies. She threw it to me the moment she appeared at the door. “Pass that back so they can help him.”
I held the bag in my lap and stared off into nothing for a few moments before I said “He’s already gone, Jenny… Just get in the car. We have to leave.”
As Jenny passed the road leading to the wall, she looked left. “It hasn’t opened up yet. They might not be coming after us.”
As I continued to see his dead eyes, a warmth grew inside of me. It soon started to burn and I felt myself begin to shake with rage. “Jenny, stop the car.”
She jerked her head toward me. “What?”
“Stop the car, now. I’m not leaving until they pay… I’m going to kill all of them and take that place for us or I’m going to die trying. You can either help me or continue on. If I live, I’ll come find you on the island.”
Allen began to speak and I said “If you’re going to try and talk me out of it – don’t bother.”
He didn’t continue. Jenny said “James, I know you’re angry”
I interrupted her. “Either help me, or let me out of the car.” I slammed my fist on the dashboard so forcefully that it hurt my hand. “NOW!”
“I have an idea, James! They’re not getting away with this! Just calm down.”
“Whoa, whoa. What do you wanna try and fight them?” Veronica said with concern.
Allen said without hesitation. “I’m ready, James.”
Jenny snapped “No!.. I have an idea. Everyone just calm down and listen.” She looked over to me for a moment before she went back to watching the road. “Let’s just make some distance and find another place to hide. Then we’ll talk.” She glanced over at me again, her eyes had grown cold. “You’ll like what I have to say. I promise you that.”
I should have listened to him… We should have just gone to that little island and disappeared for two years…
Jenny drove for about another mile and then pulled over next to some other parked cars.
Veronica cried out “Why would they do that!?”
Jenny calmly replied “It doesn’t matter why… they did it.”
I wanted to urge Jenny to explain herself but I couldn’t make myself speak. Now I know how Clara felt after Melanie and Anthony died. I just felt numb… The anger was in the backdrop burning brightly, b
ut not making me feel irrational. I felt strangely calm, and I knew exactly what I wanted.
I wanted them all dead.
Everyone else stepped out of the car and Jenny directed them to a restaurant across the street. When she saw that I didn’t move, she came over, yelled out “Allen, you go in first and clear the building!” then opened my door.
“Come on, James! We have to go. If we get killed we won’t be able to do shit!” She grabbed my right arm and tried to pull me away, but I just kept staring straight ahead and refused to budge.
She leaned in close. “I swear to you I have an idea that will kill every single one of them. I’ll even let you be the one to light them up.”
The phrase “light them up” caught my attention. My eye thinned as I said “Yeah?”
“Just come inside, please. Allen could run into some shredders, or those men could show up! Please, James!” Jenny said as she continued to pull at my arm.
I had a faint idea of what Jenny was thinking… When I thought of them burning, I felt like I could almost smile. I could taste my revenge. I looked back at Walt’s body one last time, and then allowed the want to see them all dead force me from the car and into the restaurant.
As we walked through the double-doors, Allen came out of the kitchen and said “Nothing but bodies in here.”
Jenny and I both almost slipped on all the shell casings on the floor. She said “They really did kill all of them… Or at least someone did.” She turned back and called out to Veronica and Clara. “It’s safe to come inside!”
It wasn’t long before they were all gathered around me. I hated to feel their eyes on me, so I closed mine. I expected to start having to fight back tears, but I still felt nothing but the calm and collected rage that was continuing to build.
I felt several hands rest on my shoulders and a series of “I’m sorry’s” coming from every direction. I just kept my eye closed and thought about Walt. I thought about what it would have been like if we made it to that little island.
I imagined us hunting together like I did with our father. I could see us fishing off the beach as the sun set while the others sat around a campfire and waited for us to catch dinner… It simply made the rage intensify even more when I reminded myself that it wasn’t real.
It was a vision that could have come to life if they hadn’t stolen my brother from me. Now it was nothing more than a dream, and fuel for my immeasurable anger toward those people.
Chapter 21
I demanded some alone time in the kitchen so I could just chain smoke and think… Or try not to.
I’d secretly been preparing myself for Walt to die, though it wasn’t anything like I pictured it would be. I wasn’t ready for him to just be shot for no reason. I’d imagined it happening so many different ways, but never like that.
The horror of the room was mainly hidden by darkness, but for some reason I found the need to leave a flashlight on so I could stare at the rotting shredder no more than two feet away. From what I could tell, a shotgun blast had almost completely decapitated it. Pieces of its hair, skull and brain were stuck to the dried blood sprayed all over the wall and low ceiling.
Its discolored and elongated fingernails were caked with flesh and almost completely stained red. The gold wedding band on its ring finger barely caught the light and shined like a distant star.
The entirety of the room was covered in the blood of people it managed to kill before its demise. I didn’t care. My senses were so numb that the putrid smell barely even bothered me.
Moments came and went where I fantasized about finding some liquor and drinking myself to death. I hated being conscious. No matter how much I tried to concentrate on the death surrounding me, Walt’s lifeless face was all I could see. My only inspiration for staying alive was knowing I had still had the opportunity to exact revenge.
I didn’t answer when there was a knock on the door. When it came again I still ignored it. After a few moments, the door slowly opened and revealed Jenny. “Are you ready to hear my plan? Allen said he’s willing to come with us.”
I lit another cigarette and slowly nodded. Jenny hesitantly approached. She grimaced at the gruesome sight of the room, then sat down and leaned up against the wall next to me.
“I thought of it last night when I was looking down on them from the rooftop… I thought about just doing it so we could take over their little fort and there’d be no risk… But I told myself we have to stay good people, otherwise there’s no hope for the future.”
“I used to think that too… What do you think now?”
“That it’s bullshit. Most people are fucking horrible and we just lucked out by finding each other… We should have just killed them all.”
“What’s your idea? I’m not setting foot out of this town until they’re all dead.”
“They have a fire pit, two tables and some chairs set up outside where they eat. I could tell by all the empty bottles and cigarette butts that they hang out there every night.”
“Yeah?”
“The tables are right near one of the buildings… We’re going to find glass bottles and fill them with gasoline. We’re going to burn them, James. They’re going to suffer for what they did. And even if one or two of them manages to escape the flames it’ll be easy to shoot them during the panic. They’ll have no idea where we are.”
“Let’s do it.”
As I went to stand up, Jenny stopped me. “Not yet. I’m thinking we wait a few days so they think we just ran away. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but…”
“No, you’re right… I want them to feel safe when it happens, for it to be totally unexpected… I want them to feel the same shock and confusion that Walt felt when he took that first bullet.”
“They will, and then we’ll have our safe-zone.”
Jenny got up and walked over to the door. Without looking back, she said “I understand if you want some more time alone, but it really might make you feel better to be around people who care about you… Clara and I really do care about you, James.”
“I know, me too.”
“We’re going to stay here and hide out for now, but tomorrow you and I will go out and find everything we need. There’s bound to be spoiled things in glass bottles that they left behind at the grocery store. We’ll find a way.”
And they’ll burn…
Chapter 22
I eventually left the kitchen and joined the others. It felt like hours before I finally got up and walked through the door, but I really had no idea. I still felt almost completely numb, and it was comforting. It was a lot better than being panicked, overwhelmed by tears and completely irrational.
At the same time, another fear had become a reality. Because of everything that’s happened and everything I’ve seen, I felt that I couldn’t offer Walt the emotional response he deserved. I even tried to let it come out, but it wouldn’t. The calm rage and numbness kept it tightly locked away.
The other’s attempted to sooth me with kind words, but they soon gave up as they could tell I wasn’t really hearing them. My mind was now focused on fantasizing about watching them all burn while I listened to their screams.
I squinted as the rising sun cast a glare through the window. I’d been up for most of the night, waiting for the moment when I could get back out there and start collecting what we needed to carry out Jenny’s plan.
I trembled with anticipation as the sunlight washed over her feet and slowly began to make its way toward her face. When I looked over at Clara, I could see that her eyes were open and fixed on me. She was giving me the same type of pitying look I always saw on her face when my leg was useless and I was constantly distraught with frustration.
I hated that look…
To my relief, Veronica began to move her legs around and ended up kicking a small table by accident. A large, brass candlestick crashed to the floor and jerked everyone awake. Jenny immediately grabbed for her rifle and started clumsily getting to her feet, but
I stopped her and explained what happened.
Veronica said “Well… that scared the shit out of me.”
Jenny let out a deep sigh, dropped the rifle and let herself fall back against the wall. She closed her eyes and asked “Did anyone see them driving around throughout the night?”
We all answered no, and Jenny began rubbing her eyes as she let out a yawn. “They think we’re long gone… Otherwise they would have come after to us to finish the job and make sure we don’t attack them.” She turned to me. “I think we can do this tonight if we’re able to find the bottles.”
I’d been thinking about something else that I assumed a military engineer might be able to make happen. “Could you make something that silenced our shots?”
“It would be pretty easy, but it would only work once and not very well.”
“I’m worried they might leave some guys up on the wall while the others eat because of what happened. We’ll have to take them out first.”
Allen said “You’ve seen what I can do. If their backs are turned, I’ll take two down – no problem. I’ll fire the second you throw the bottles.”
Jenny agreed and said “That should work. James, all we have to do is each hit a table top and it’ll splash all over their faces and chests. They won’t be able to do anything but roll around on the ground until we decide to shoot them.”
Veronica focused on me as she said “Aren’t you guys taking this a little too far? It’s one thing to kill them, but purposely making them suffer like that?… Can you really just stand there and watch them burn instead of putting them out of their misery?”
I sighed. “I might feel like I can right now, but when it comes down to it… no, probably not. I’ll pull the trigger.”
Jenny frowned in confusion due to my statement, and I said “Let’s get out there. You never know how many places we’ll have to check before we find something. We can’t settle on little bottles… Did anyone notice a liquor store? They usually have some pretty big glass bottles.”
Jenny shook her head. “There were a lot of empty bottles and beer cans around the fire. These guys definitely cleaned out the liquor stores, just like the bar here… We’ll find something left behind in a grocery store, I know it.”
Trying to Survive (Part 3) Page 13