“Did you describe me in those terms?” she hisses.
“Now listen love, I was just trying to fob him off…” I babble desperately. “They’re lying bastards the both of them. Don’t listen to a word they say about me…”
She stares at me blankly.
“What do they mean by neglecting duties in hell?” she asks sharply, cutting to the crux of it at once. Seeing my mouth open and close, she swivels on her spiked heel to Jorad. “You,” she says narrowly. “Explain!”
He raises an eyebrow at this.
“Your familiar,” he snorts. “Happens to be my youngest brother Kiril, prince of the seventh layer of hell. ”
“Prince Kiril?” she echoes coldly turning to me. “You lied to me. You were lying to me all along,” she says slowly and her voice cracks slightly at the end which breaks my heart a little.
I lick my lips which are suddenly dry.
“Not … about the important stuff,” I prevaricate.
“Are you… Is your name even Kiril?”
“Of course it is.”
“And you’re an incubus I trapped in my binding spell and now you have to serve me?”
Merrick laughs.
“Is that what he told you sweetheart?” he asks sounding amused.
I shoot him a furious look.
“Shut the fuck up Merrick!”
“So I didn’t manage to bind you?” she asks looking self-conscious. “I did the spell wrong then?” Her voice catches with insecurity. I hate it when she looks unsure of herself like that.
“The likes of you couldn’t bind him woman,” snorts Jorad arrogantly. “He’s a prince of hell.”
I lean as far forward as I can, trying to shut them all out. Trying to make it just the two of us.
“Hortense, I may have lied a little,” I stress, “but you do know me…” I tell her in an urgent undertone. “You know me where it counts.”
“A prince of hell,” she whispers. “I don’t even know what that is.”
“It doesn’t matter what it is,” I tell her sounding pained even to my own ears. “Everything I am is yours.”
She hasn’t heard me though I hear my brother’s indrawn sharp breaths. The biggest declaration of my life and she’s oblivious. Her eyes are glazed over, her shoulders slumped in defeat.
“Then why? Why did you stay here with me? Was it a joke? A joke at my expense?” She swallows painfully. “Because I was an ignorant virgin playing at witchcraft and you wanted to teach me a lesson…”
“No,” I answer hoarsely. Suddenly I’m afraid as I realise this is her biggest fear. Being made fun of, being mocked, rejected. She’ll push me away rather than suffer this fate again. I take a deep breath, I need to tell her the truth for once. Before it’s too late. “Maybe at first,” I admit reluctantly. “But not anymore. Not anymore.”
“You …how could you?” she whispers raggedly, staring at me in misery, closing her eyes in anguish before swivelling on her heel and turning her back to me.
“Take him then,” she tells my brothers angrily. “Take him out of my sight!”
“Wait, Hortense… !” I roar.
“I never want to see him again! Ever!”
“Hortense!”
“You are my enemy,” intones Hortense bitterly. “And as such I banish you from my presence.” She reaches for a bag of charms hanging from her belt and my composure breaks.
“No! Don’t do this,” I beg her, twisting in the chains. “Don’t banish me away from you! I’ll do anything – just don’t send me away!”
But my howls are in vain, everything turns black and when I feel the ground beneath me again it is the cold hard stone of hell. I slump forward in a heap.
The next week is well, living hell. After dragging me back down my brothers seemed to think I would snap out of my aberrant behaviour. But it just grew worse and worse. As soon as they released my chains I flex my magical muscle on trying to locate her, to take a glimpse of her, only to find she’s well and truly blocked me out. And that’s not the worst. I realise she’s warded herself against me completely. I won’t be able to re-enter her presence even if I wasn’t stuck in Jorad’s deepest dungeon and most of my powers blocked. When I realise they’ll be entirely useless in finding my way back to her I no longer care about them and relapse into a morose and almost catatonic state, not eating or drinking or even speaking. Various of my brothers drift in and out until in the end even they are alarmed enough to summon my sister Verenice to come and visit. She breezes in, her red silk gown rustling and her tinkling laugh going right through me. She’s always been a nightmare. I turn my face to the wall and groan, unable to even haul my carcass off the bunk.
My sister sighs,
“Isn’t it obvious?” she asks turning to the bars. “He’s in love with her.”
My brothers make a series of incredulous noises. I twitch irritably. What the fuck am I doing here with this bunch of morons? I think of my mistress and what she might be doing at this hour. My stomach clenches. Is she upset? Missing me? Who’s going to make sure all the windows and doors are fastened at night? Who’s going to chop the firewood? I imagine Hortense going into a decline, not eating or drinking without me there to do her bidding or tease her or wind her up. She needs me godsdamnit! Why does she have to be so fucking stubborn?
“Look at him mooning over her!” jeers Merrick. “He’s pathetic!”
I don’t even bother to argue, just groan and drop my head onto my forearms on the bed. The room goes quiet.
“You’re in love with her Kiril,” says my sister again in her smug voice.
“I know,” I grouch. “For fuck’s sake, I’m not stupid.” I turn my head so I can look at them all gaping. “Just leave me alone.”
“He’ll be alright,” I hear one of them insist. “Just give him some space. He’ll get over it the daft bastard.”
I rest my forehead on the mattress ignoring them. I know the truth. I’m the one who’s going into a fucking decline not Hortense. For all I know she could be eating cake with her sisters or playing with her nieces and nephew cursing my perfidy. She may not give a shit about the disappearance about her lying slave. I squeeze my eyes shut and wallow in my misery. My chest hurts. I hurt. All I want is to lie at her feet and have the chance to grovel abjectly and beg for forgiveness. When did this happen to me? And why don’t I care? My whole universe now revolves around one woman and she’s cast me into the pit of despair by banishing me. I wish I was dead. Maybe then she’d feel sorry she’d done this to me. Yeah, pathetic.
In the meantime my own personal hell continues. My brothers call in on me one by one or in pairs. I barely raise my eyes to look at them. Their words are like blades into my tender flesh when they tell me to get a fucking grip or even worse suggest I ‘get back on the horse’. One of them brings an ex-favourite of mine, a woodland nymph with excellent cock-sucking skills. I can barely bring myself to acknowledge her presence.
Insensitive bastard.
“I don’t want anyone else,” I murmur tiredly. None of them understand. Not one of them is capable of this depth of feeling, these depths of despair. And I was always considered the shallow one I think with disbelief. I was the one with the reputation as the faithless lover, the inconstant one. I’m exhausted. All my energy is focussed on trying to breach the barrier Hortense has flung up about herself blocking me out. But for once my mistress’s patchy powers have done their job and it’s impenetrable to me. My burning eyelids droop down over my bloodshot eyes.
“He looks like shit,” comments Merrick. They’re actually talking about me in my presence now as if I’m not there. “Maybe,” he hesitates. “Maybe he isn’t going to snap out of it…”
There’s an uneasy silence from Jorad who scratches his beard noisily.
“Let’s give him a month.”
I don’t even care. Nothing matters anymore.
They give me two weeks then they gang up on me, dragging me out of the bed and throwing cold water over me
. I roar and struggle but I’m weak as a kitten not having eaten or even slept unbrokenly for days.
“Enough!” shouts Jorad. “You’ve wallowed in self-pity long enough! This is a fucking embarrassment!”
I realise with weary astonishment that they are staging some kind of fucking intervention. Unbelievable!
“Why can’t you just leave me alone to die in peace?” I groan.
“She’s not even that pretty,” objects my brother Andarl in what he thinks passes for a hushed undertone. “Why’s he causing such a commotion over this one?” I lunge for him with an unexpected burst of strength.
“When did you fucking see my Hortense?” I snarl at him viciously as I grab him round the throat making his eyes bulge.
“Easy!” cautions Jorad trying to pry my fingers loose. “He saw her not five minutes ago,” he adds hurriedly when our brother turns purple. “She’s here!” I drop Andarl immediately and wheel around to stare wildly at my oldest brother. “She’s here?” I demand. “You bought her down to the seventh level of hell?” My words are furious. How dare he bring my precious Hortense to this place? A red mist is descending as I think of her being intimidated or afraid. She never leaves the Keep even for her sisters. They always have to come to her.
“Take it easy brother,” urges Merrick grabbing my upper arm. “She came to us. She wanted, nay demanded to see you. She completed a spell, rather a complex one to track you.” He sounds grudgingly impressed. I feel suddenly shaky on my feet.
“She wants to see me?” I echo dumbly. I had not seen that coming. Hortense is a stickler for keeping her word. Once she makes a vow, she never goes back on it. Her word is her bond etc. etc. When she said she never wanted to see me again I took that as being one hundred percent her intention. Sure, other women may bandy words like those about whenever they’re in a snit, but not my girl. I feel like all the wind’s been knocked out of me in a gigantic sucker punch.
What does she want? Does she miss me? Regret sending me away?
“Where is she?” I bark. “Take me to her.”
“Bloody hells Kiril,” another brother Raglan grouches. “Hold your horses!” They lead me back to my own personal apartments and to my astonishment directly into my own sitting room. And that’s when I see her, my Hortense. She’s sat on a low sofa with her eyes narrowed meanly, glittering with annoyance. My god, she’s beautiful, in a long black gown with her hair all twisted up ropes looped around her head, her perilously high shoes studded with amethysts. She’s like a beacon of light glowing in the dark room. I try to surge forward but Merrick yanks me back with a frustrated sigh.
“Try and have some fucking self-restrant!” he hisses. “She’s mean as hell and still in a mood with you…”
I don’t even care, ducking under his arm I make a break for it and fall to my knees before her. I’m oblivious to my brothers groans and hisses behind me.
“Mistress,” I groan and lower my head to her lap, I nuzzle her thighs beneath the velvet skirts and breathe in her scent. Gods I’ve missed her! After a minute I realise she hasn’t spoken a single word. Then I hear her voice ringing out imperiously.
“What have you done to him?” she asks her voice shaking slightly. “Have you starved him?” There’s a nasty edge to her voice, she’s pissed. She’s pissed they may have abused me. It’s like a warm balm to my soul. She cares! I wrap my arms around her hips and cling to her. If needs be I’ll tell her they stuck me on a fucking rack and tortured me so long as she takes me back!
“You did that to him woman,” answers my brother Jorah snottily. “When you rejected him.” Growls of assent come from my other brothers. I don’t dare raise my head just tighten my grip on her. When she doesn’t speak I peek up from her lap to see a conflicted look on her face. Her mouth works as she tries to put her feelings into words.
“Is this true?” she asks at last stiffly.
“I love you,” I tell her huskily. “I can’t eat or sleep without you. I’m a fucking mess. Please …” I take an uneven breath, my voice is shaky with emotion. I can feel the blast of disapproval and shock behind me from my brethren but really could not give a shit. Yes, I’m abasing myself on my knees in front of a woman. I’m past caring at this point. “Gods, I love you Hortense. Take me back, please,” I ramble on, my eyes are stinging, my throat hoarse. “I don’t care about anything else anymore. Just you.”
Her face goes blank, but her fingers stroke my hair making me groan.
“I’ll think about it,” she says mildly and I hear one of my brothers give a choking cough behind me.
“Really?” I whisper up at her adoringly.
She gives me a brief nod.
“Hmmm,” she assents scratching the back of my neck lightly. Her mouth twists. “It’s very crowded in here,” she frowns with displeasure.
I turn my head around and glare at my brothers.
“Everyone out!” I roar, glowering at them. Interfering bastards!
“Well I like that!” snorts Jorad. “After we brought her here and everything.”
“It’s your fault she kicked me out in the first place!” I snarl as I herd them out into the hallway and slam the door in their incredulous faces. I hurry back to my Hortense. Her ears are a little pink with embarrassment I notice belatedly. Was my angel shy to hear my declaration in front of that rowdy crowd? I stoop to kiss the pretty shells of her ears but she shoots off the couch, her nose in the air haughtily.
“So this is your home?” she asks casting an eye about my chambers.
“Yes, my sweeting,” I murmur with assent trying to keep my eyes on hers respectfully and not pour them over her delectable little body like a starving man.
“You may give me a tour of the place,” she asserts, inclining her head regally. I present my arm and try not to shake when she places her hand on my forearm. Gods, I wish she’d put it on my cock which has stirred for the first time in three weeks. Really I just want to bend her over the back of the sofa and pound into her like a rutting bull. I’m trembling with need, my lust vibrating off me in waves. I can hardly see straight as I steer her through the rooms. I wince a bit at my black and red décor, perhaps not the subtlest look for my bachelor pad. She makes stilted comments and steals glances at me from under her eyelashes.
“Quite nice for a hell,” she comments finally. She stops “Were you ever going to tell me?”
“That I’m a prince of hell?” I ask slowly. “I wanted to but I was scared how you’d take it…”
She nods thoughtfully at that.
“So your original plan was to trick me and then somewhere along the way… you fell in love with me?”
I wince at her words before realising she’s not being sarcastic simply stating the fact.
“Yes,” I agree with alacrity. I hope I look as sincere as I feel, but no doubt she is aware that we are none of us to be trusted at our word.
“Have you been in love before?” she asks with faint suspicion.
“No,” I admit reluctantly. I’m almost afraid of where she’s going with this. Have you claimed to be in love with a woman before? Yes, many times. Were you lying every single time? Yes, through my teeth.
“Why me?”
I whip my head back to her at this.
“Why am I in love with you?” I ask carefully, as I see the colour rise in her cheeks. “Because you’re you. Because I don’t ever want to be apart from you again. Because I’m happy when I’m around you….” I shrug and my words trail off dismally. Gods, what a terrible declaration! Trust my sincerity to affect my oratory ability! Where’s all my glib smoothness now when I most need it? I realise Hortense’s fingernails are digging into my arm.
“When you weren’t there….” She halts awkwardly. “I missed you.”
Halle-frickin-luliah! She’s even worse at this than me! I realise a big dumb grin has spread across my face and Hortense’s face is glowing with embarrassment. My awkward little mistress has just as good as told me all I need to know. But still I push
it, ‘cos I want to hear her say the words.
“Do you love me Hortense?” I ask her in a low voice.
She puffs out her cheeks.
“What if I do?” she asks waspishly. “What’s the use of my being in love with a prince of hell? It’s not like you can move back in with me and carry on being my flunky now I know the truth is it?”
“Flunky?” I take a deep calming breath. Gods, she’s a graceless little bitch sometimes! Instead of the maudlin melancholy I’ve been filled with for the last three weeks I am instead filled at last with righteous indignation.
“Too fucking right I can’t,” I growl, seizing her by the waist, lifting her and barging into my bedchamber. I slam the door shut with my booted foot as I fling her towards the big draped red bed and start shucking off my clothes. Hortense bounces up with an outraged gasp as I fling my tunic over my head and start to unlace my crotch.
“Don’t you dare move,” I warn her, my voice low as I watch her covetously. “You’re not going anywhere.”
“What does that mean?” she answers challengingly. “That you’re going to keep me prisoner here in the seventh layer of hell?”
I shrug,
“Sounds good to me,” I answer as I join her on the bed, my weight causing the mattress to rock. I watch her bosom wobble as my hands start to deftly unlace her from her dress. She falls back on the pillows watching me, her lids half-closed.
“It’ll never work,” she murmurs almost to herself.
“We’ll make it work,” I growl, yanking her gown down her shoulders. Gods, her body is before me again, all soft pale skin and I’m kissing her neck, her shoulder, the tops of her breasts. I feel her hand raise to the back of my head and hold me to her. That gesture of complicity nearly undoes me. I kiss her pouty lips and drag the rest of her clothes off her. “You’re so beautiful,” I mutter. “Perfect.”
“No you are,” she replies, her eyes steady on me. She pulls back on my hair and scoots from under me to press her gorgeous body down on top of me. Gods, I’m in heaven.
“I don’t want you to change your mind,” she says gruffly. “I just want you to like me, and only me.”
Bumping Uglies Page 4