I smooth back some wet tresses of hair. On either side of me, the boys slide through the water like dolphins, and I swim toward some bushes to be out of their way.
“… is Sampson doing here with that girl?”
“I’m just as clueless as you are. I only know she goes to our school, but I didn’t know that he knows her so well. I’ve been trying to get it out of him, but he tells me squat.”
“I know Adrian wanted to go and see her today over in that brasserie where she’s working, that’s why he’s not here. And now Sampson suddenly shows up with her. I don’t get any of it.”
“Adrian? What does he want…”
With an easy stroke, Bastian and Bow go through the water, their voices slowly fading away.
Silently, I swim away from the bushes and let the meaning of their conversation sink in. I dive under the surface into the icy lake in the hopes of clearing my head. By the time I get to the surface for air, a seed of doubt has been planted in my head.
Could Adrian be the charming cousin Philene talked about earlier? Are they all related? And if so, did Sam just ask me—he didn’t even ask—to go swimming with him to prevent Adrian from seeing me?
And then it hits me: I am not here because Sam wanted me here on his birthday; I am here because Sam doesn’t want me to have a drink with Adrian.
I want you to go swimming with me.
It wasn’t a question.
We will spend the entire day together.
The more I think about it, the more my head is swimming.
On the way back, I end up sitting next to Philene. Up close she is just as amazing as she is from a distance. Her ivory skin looks like marble. Her heavy eyelids give her a cool glance, but it makes her mysterious at the same time.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you all day, do you wash your hair with some secret ingredient? It shines beautifully.”
“Not really,” she says haughtily, “just good breeding. I hear you and Sam get along very well?”
Her question throws me off balance. “Oh, ehm, we know each other from school.”
She leans in. Even after an entire day at the beach, she still smells fresh as flowers. “Sam is not available.”
I look at her totally confused. The more time I spend with these people, the less I understand any of it. “I’m sorry… I don’t…”
“Sweetie…” She looks at me like I am a little lamb about to be slaughtered. “…very soon he’ll lose interest and you will be left heartbroken. Is that what you want? Because that’s exactly what’s going to happen.”
“I think you’re misunderstanding,” I say. “We’re just…”
“To be honest, I think you’re misunderstanding.” There’s a sharp edge in her voice. “Consider this a warning. Stay away from Sam!”
11
laurel
The house is dark and cold. Sam is building a fire and I stare at his back. All of his friends have left and even I have no excuse to stay any longer, but Sam is my ride home.
Right up to the front door.
Somewhere in those words lies a promise, or so I thought this morning. But not anymore. It literally means what it means: up to the front door. No promise. Philene’s words keep pounding through my head. Sam is not available. Sam is not available.
I am almost dying on the couch. I have to know. I think I can handle a broken heart, but the uncertainty of this moment is killing me. It is impossible that he is not attracted to Philene, and it is more than obvious that she wants him. What did Lou say again? The eyes are the windows to the soul? At this moment, I would give anything to take a look into his eyes, but Sam is staring into the flames. Why am I here?
“Are you and Adrian related?”
Sam straightens his shoulders. “He’s a second cousin.”
“Are you all related?”
“Yeah, sort of.”
“Did you know that Adrian wanted to see me today?”
Sam cocks his head to the side. “Yes,” he says softly. “He said he was going for a drink at the seaside. I knew… I suspected that he meant in your father’s restaurant.”
I ask the question, but fear the answer. “And so you found a way to keep me out of there today?”
He turns his head further and looks straight into my eyes.
“Yes,” he says finally. “That’s why I wanted to spend the day with you.” He gets up and shoves his hands into the pockets of his shorts. “How do you know all this?”
I stare at my flip-flops. I am glad he isn’t trying to deny it, but the fact that his invitation was calculated hits me hard. “I overheard one of your friends.” I look up. “Why are you doing this?”
“I don’t want you to hang out with him. I told you why.”
“I don’t hang out with him.”
“Good, let’s keep it that way.”
I jump up from the couch. “Do you think it’s safe for me to go home? Because then I would like to go.”
Sam doesn’t move. “Who?”
“Who?”
“Which one of my friends did you overhear?” he asks coldly.
I shrug my shoulders. “The one who won the sprint. He was also at the restaurant with Adrian that night.”
“Bow.”
“Yes, him. He said Adrian wanted to come see me today. He didn’t understand why I was with you today. What do you want from me?” I whisper.
Sam looks at me, expressionless. “Nothing, Laurel. I don’t want anything from you.”
I swallow. I feel terribly stupid. Did I really think that I would make a difference to Sam Laurens? That I should feel flattered because of his attention?
“I want…” My gaze is drawn to a clock on the wall. Reality intrudes on me. “Is it really nine thirty already?”
Sam walks over to the table. “I’ll take you home.”
“Thanks. I have to hand in a paper before midnight.” I groan softly. I know I’m never going to make it in time.
“What paper?”
“The essay for art class.”
He looks at me with narrowed eyes. “It’s been weeks since we picked out those books. Are you saying you haven’t worked on it at all?”
In shame, I cover my face with both hands. “I know there are three great orders of architecture, and something about Ionic and Doric pillars. Hardly enough for a five thousand word paper.”
I can hear Sam grinning. “It’s my fault that you haven’t had time today, so I’m going to help you out. If that’s okay with you, of course.”
I remove my hands. “Do you know anything about the orders?”
“Only that those pillars were made out of limestone or marble. That’s pretty much it.” He disappears into the kitchen. “You’ll be fine. Can I get you some coffee or tea?” I hear him rummaging through a cabinet. “I’m afraid I don’t have any soy milk.”
“Tea is fine.” I curl up in the corner of the couch and lay my weary head on a pillow. I definitely need a week to recover from this insane day and all those muscled naked guys on the beach. Furthermore, I feel dirty and sticky—the sand tickles everywhere—and Sam doesn’t want anything from me.
Why is he trying so hard to keep me away from Adrian? Okay, he is his second cousin and apparently he’s dangerous, whatever that means. But Sam can hardly protect all the girls against his kooky family member for the rest of his life, can he?
I listen to the cozy kitchen sounds—a kettle being filled with water, stoneware mugs on the counter, the closing of a cupboard door…
From afar I hear a voice. Then I am shaken gently.
“Laurel?”
I shoot up, and a blanket falls off me. I stare at Sam and my eyes shift to the clock behind him. Almost midnight. “I fell asleep. Why didn’t you wake me?”
“It’s finished. Who do I send it to?”
&nb
sp; Still a bit drowsy, I look at him. “Finished? My essay is finished?”
“Yep.” He glances at the clock briefly. “It hasn’t been sent, though.”
I push away the blanket and get up. I try to dig up the e-mail address. Sam is standing close. Too close. “Ehm, I think it was something like…”
I lower my eyelids and stare at the dark wood floors. What is that lousy e-mail address?
“His last name is Thomas,” Sam says patiently with his hands placed low on his hips, which gives me a whole new sensation. When I spot his shorts I feel my cheeks get hot.
I turn my gaze away and dig a little deeper. This is embarrassing.
“I think I have a better idea,” he mumbles and walks over to the table.
I rub my fingers over my forehead, hoping to get rid of the image of Sam pulling the strings of his shorts.
Sam grabs his cell phone, and after a few seconds I hear him talking to someone. With his left hand he quickly clicks away on the keys of his laptop. “Got it,” he says, closing the laptop. “You’re a life saver, thanks.” He pauses for a second. “I’ll let her know. Chaire!” He tosses his phone aside and it slides off the table. It lands right at my feet.
I bend down to pick it up at the same time Sam squats down as well. Our hands touch. We both shoot up and step back as if we just touched an exposed power cable. I stare at the phone in my hand and hand it over. “The, ehm, screen broke,” I stammer.
Without touching me, he pulls the phone out of my hand, putting it down gently this time. “Yeah, they don’t like hard floors.”
“You used it to help me. Now I feel guilty.”
“Don’t. It is my own fault. I… I wasn’t paying attention.”
“Who on earth did you disturb for my problem at this hour?” I ask.
“Olivia. I remembered that you’re in the same art class.”
“Oh, now she thinks that you’ve written the essay for me,” I complain, more disappointed in myself than in him.
Sam chuckles. “Even if she does, she’s very tactful.”
“Oh, I’m in so much trouble with Thomas if he finds out.”
“No, you’re not. Olivia is very good at keeping secrets. She said hi by the way, she liked hanging out with you outside the classroom.”
I smile. “Me too, she is very nice. The other girls, too.” Except for Philene.
“Oh, yeah, she asked me to apologize for the swimming race. She hopes you’ll forgive her.”
“Of course I forgive her, but I’m never going swimming with you guys again,” I say laughing. I rake my hand through my hair, but my fingers get caught in the tangles that have formed under the influence of wind and water. The sand grains have gathered along my hairline. How can I ever compete with a beauty like Philene? And why does he have to bring up the afternoon at the beach? This way, I’ll never get those images out of my head. And why is he suddenly so ravishing?
“I’m sorry about this afternoon, my friends… they know no shame.”
I wave my hand. “Don’t worry about it,” I say coolly. “I’ll get over it. Someday.” I laugh at my own joke, but Sam doesn’t return my smile. His eyes hold mine and my heart starts to beat wildly.
Nervously, I wonder if this is the moment for me to stay or if it would be better to leave. Is he expecting something from me? No, of course not! He just explained that he’s not. At least he can’t ditch me and I can’t leave either. What happens next is entirely up to him.
“Let’s get you home. It’s after twelve, and I’d like to keep to your father’s rules. If for no other reason than he owns a kitchen full of sharp knives and walks around with blood on his chef’s jacket.”
“Sam?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for helping me out tonight.”
Sam smiles. “Anytime, Laurel.”
12
laurel
The traditional senior trip is finally here.
Alpine skiing.
I join my friends feeling miserable and cranky about the three-day trip.
“Oh look, if it isn’t our little miss sunshine,” Maude says sarcastically. “Nice jacket, by the way.”
I take a good look at Maude and frown. She is dressed in a brightly colored ski suit, pink moon boots and she is wearing designer sunglasses. “I didn’t know we were going to St. Moritz.”
Maude laughs. “We’re not. But that doesn’t mean we can’t look hot on the slopes of Mount Washington.”
I look down at my own old puffer jacket and the white ski pants Mia gave me. Nothing hot about that.
At exactly eight o’clock, two coach buses drive up, our backpacks are thrown in and the dull roar moves inside.
I flop into a window seat knowing sure as night is black that even before the end of the morning I’ll have a broken collarbone. I’ve never skied before.
Without actually seeing anything, I gaze outside and try to shut myself off from the excited crowd, now talking about nothing but snow depths, slopes and après ski. My classmates are obsessed with snow, while I’m obsessed with Sam.
I lean my head against the window and let myself drift away in a daydream where I am stuck between a picnic table and Sam’s body. Somewhere between Ladysmith and Nanaimo, it suddenly hits me—I have feelings for Sam Laurens.
“Laurel, sleeveless, halter, or asymmetrical?”
Ava’s voice comes from afar. “What?”
“My dress, sleeveless, halter, or asymmetrical?”
“Oh, halter. Very elegant.”
“Perfect, that was my choice too. A halter dress really shows off the female body.”
“But you won’t be able to wear a necklace,” Maude remarks.
“You don’t need jewelry, just a great cleavage and killer shoes. Okay, so Maude is going strapless in red, me in a halter, probably black, now it’s your turn, Laurel. I’m thinking midnight blue. That would look lovely with your brown hair. And a full red mouth. Sexy and slightly mysterious.”
Still lightheaded from my intoxicating daydream, I vaguely start realizing that they are talking about the prom. Again. “I told you guys already, I’m not going.”
“I don’t understand,” Ava says. “It’s the closing ceremony of an important period in our lives. We’re on the threshold of adulthood.”
“Very philosophical, Ava, but I just don’t feel like it. All that girly fuss with dresses and hairdos.”
“Would you go if Sam asked you?”
I am instantly snapped back into reality. “Sam is not going to ask me. Nothing’s going on between him and me,” I say fiercely.
“Are you sure?” Maude wants to know.
“Absolutely sure, trust me.”
Maude and Ava don’t know about every encounter I’ve had with Sam—the library, his birthday, and his help on my essay—and I like to keep it that way. I may have feelings for Sam, but they’re definitely not being reciprocated. Sam doesn’t want anything from me—he just wants me to stay away from his cousin.
“It would surprise me if they even went,” Ava remarks. “They didn’t show up today either. They just don’t hang out with their classmates.”
My daydream is completely shattered.
We’re waiting in the lounge of the inn while Ava is trying to book us all into one room.
“You have thirty minutes to bring your stuff up to the rooms, after which we expect you to meet with us in the cafeteria,” Mrs. Watson calls out.
Ava dangles a room key in my face. “Arranged. We are in the same room.”
“Super-duper,” Maude says with a cheerful smile.
We pick up our bags and set out for the second floor where our room is situated.
“So you’ve never skied before?” Maude asks, full of amazement.
I shrug my shoulders timidly. “The highest mountain in the Neth
erlands is about three hundred meters in height, and we like to call it a hill. Fun to ride a sled off, but that’s about it for winter fun.”
Ava and Maude burst out in laughter.
“I guess I’ll get lessons, and in case of emergencies, I have one of the Brontë sisters with me.”
“Maybe you’ll get a handsome ski instructor,” Ava winks. “That’ll keep you warmer than Heathcliff. Oh, by the way, you’ll never guess who I saw.”
We await her answer.
“Olivia.”
“Olivia?” I say, gasping for air.
Maude smiles. “Then I bet the guys from Chaos are here too.”
“If they are, they’re here to ski, Maude. Not to perform for us during après ski,” Ava says dryly.
“Well, for now we’re locked up with them at a lodge for three days. A lot can happen in three days. Like getting a date for prom.”
Horrified, I look at her. “Who are you trying to go to the prom with?”
Maude shrugs her shoulders. “If there’s nothing going on between you and Sam, I might go for him myself.” She gives me a wink. “But first I will impress him on the black run.”
“The black run?”
Maude rolls her eyes. “A mountain for expert skiers, sweetheart.”
I feel a knot in my stomach. Maude is free to go after Sam, it’s not like I have a claim on him—Sam doesn’t let anyone label him, let alone claim him—but it still stings, now that I have admitted to myself that I have feelings for him.
After some instructions, we are ready to get our ski gear.
I focus on the man trying to fit me with the right boots, and I feel more nervous by the second. Not about skiing—I’m ready to take a good tumble or two—but for that first eye contact with Sam. How is he going to approach me after the bizarre swimming outing? I still feel awkward about having seen the most gorgeous guys from school in all their naked glory—well, if I would have been brave enough to take a better look. I’d be able to knock Ava and Maude over with a feather right here and now if only they knew.
House of Guardians Page 10