I tell Adrian about my background and it strikes me that it’s much easier to open up to him than to Sam. The conversation is looser, more relaxed, without any awkward silences. With Sam, every question, every answer seems loaded.
After lunch we drink another cup of coffee and then Adrian gets up. “That was a lovely lunch, Laurel. Nice to get to know you a little better.”
“You too. Maybe I see you soon. At the restaurant I mean,” I add hastily.
“And what about the movies tonight?”
“Oh. Eh…”
“Sorry, I startled you.” He gestures toward the door. “I’ll leave now,” he says half shyly.
I just can’t believe this guy is a danger to anyone. And if I went on a date with Sam’s cousin, he would probably hear about it. And I hope that it would really piss him off. The way his marriage to Philene pisses me off.
“Anything good playing?” I hear myself ask.
The auditorium is already packed when Adrian escorts me down the aisle to the back row. Slightly nervous about my rather rash decision to go out with him, I take a seat. Before leaving, I took another one of Renee’s pills, hoping it would calm me down. After all, I am on a date with a guy Sam warned me about. But so far I have to admit, his demeanor is more than polite. He’s even gracious and courteous. It doesn’t match his sharp profile and dark looks.
Why am I here?
Deep down I know why I’m here, why I accepted Adrians invitation. If I’m really honest with myself, this is nothing but a ploy for Sam.
I shift in my chair, uncomfortably. Am I so desperate that I would rather face an angry Sam than no Sam at all?
Adrian stares at me like I’m from another universe. I’m glad when the lights finally go down. He has chosen an action thriller that doesn’t really hold my attention. It seems like he senses it, because every ten minutes, he asks if I am having a good time.
“Would you rather go someplace else?” he asks again after a while.
“No, I’d like to watch the rest of the movie,” I answer.
After a while I get up.
“Where are you going?” Adrian asks.
“Just to the restroom,” I whisper in the dark.
He bends toward me. “You are having a good time, aren’t you?”
Jeez, he is acting so insecure. “Yes, definitely,” I reassure him and walk out of the room.
Once again, a sunken face with dark shadows meets me in the mirror. You are running down your body. I look away and I turn on the water.
With a deep sigh, I hold the inside of my wrists under the cold running water. My euphoria of the past few days seems to have suddenly vanished and again I ask myself why I said yes to this date. Because I hope Adrian will tell one of his cousins about it, so the story will reach Sam? Like he cares—he’s going to marry one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen. Marry her!
Behind me I hear a toilet flush and a woman comes up beside me to wash her hands. She looks at me in the mirror. “Sweetheart, you look ashen. Are you okay?”
I smile back. “Yes, I’m fine.”
She dries her hands and leaves the restroom. The door is pushed open again. I automatically look over and my breath stops. My fingers begin to tremble as I try to turn off the water. “Urinals are next door,” I say and pull a paper towel from the dispenser.
“I’m not in the mood for jokes, Laurel. In fact, I’m furious with you right now.” Sam’s voice sounds seething. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“Just watching a movie.” I throw the paper into a trash can. “Do you have a problem with that?”
“No, I have a problem with your date.”
“Ah, well, that’s not really up to you, is it?”
With narrowed eyes Sam stares me down. “I thought I had forbidden you to go out with him?”
“My father generally decides things like that and he was totally fine with it.” With one long step, he suddenly stands before me. He scowls furiously, but I don’t flinch. “Can you step aside, please? I don’t like to keep my date waiting. What are you doing here anyway? Are you watching me or what?”
“Any more questions or are you done talking?” he asks through his teeth. Sam grabs my elbow. “Let’s go.”
I shake my arm loose from his grip. “I don’t believe I came here with you.”
“Correct, but you are leaving with me.”
“I don’t think so!”
Sam clenches his jaw. He is struggling to control himself. “Okay, here’s the deal: either you come with me of your own free will, or I throw you over my shoulder. You decide, but make it quick, we don’t have much time left.”
I frown. “What do you mean?”
“In a few seconds Adrian will start to wonder where you are and will come looking for you. If he finds us here, all hell will break loose.” He holds out his hand and his gaze is slightly softer. “You trust me?”
Hesitantly, I place my hand in his. The prickling on my skin doesn’t surprise me anymore. “No.”
He gives me a half-smile. “Good answer.”
His effect on me—even in a situation where I hate his arrogant demeanor—is undeniable.
He opens the door and scans the hall, which is suddenly crowded with moviegoers. He pulls me behind him, and before I can even set one foot out the door I hear him curse softly. In a lightning-fast move he pins me against the wall and presses his body against me. He turns his head down and his mouth is hovering over mine. Because of my high heels, I’m suddenly a lot taller and surprisingly close to his face. I feel his hot rapid breath against my cheek and the warm savory fragrance of his skin makes me giddy.
“What’s wrong?” I whisper.
“He is coming this way.”
My heart pounds impetuously. Now I am getting scared—although I’m not quite sure of what. My fear switches from Adrian to Sam and back again. “How do you know?”
“I can hear him.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Yes, you do,” he says bitterly. “You know very well I have great hearing.”
“What do we do now?” I ask huskily.
“Now we stay here for a while if you don’t mind,” he whispers. Then he produces a wan smile that makes my stomach flutter. I’m not good at spatial awareness, but I estimate that our faces are no more than a few inches apart. We are breathing each other’s air, and I have to resist the temptation to caress his prominent jaw, to press my mouth to his seductive lips, to touch his hair. Not even in my wildest dreams would I have imagined this sensual situation.
“I am so…”
“Ssh, try to be quiet, Laurel. His hearing is just as good as mine. He’s going to take a look in the restroom first to see if you’re there and then he will hit the stairs. I’m covering you, okay, he won’t see you.”
Sam pulls his cap farther down over his face and turns his collar up. And then I see Adrian stepping out of the auditorium. He rushes to the restrooms where we can hear him hitting on doors and calling out my name. When he rushes to the stairs, Sam pulls me to the emergency exit and pushes me through the door.
Suddenly, I’m shaking all over my body, and I sag to the concrete floor. Sam picks me back up and puts his arms around me protectively. I lean against his chest and I feel his heart beat strongly against my back.
“Why is it so hard for you to listen to me?” he whispers against my crown.
I close my eyes and for a moment I feel secure, like I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. Where I belong.
Sam clears his throat. “We have to keep going.”
He lets me go and I am torn back to brutal reality. Sam will never be mine, and right now he’s here to rescue me from his not-to-be-trusted relative.
Sam hurries down the fire escape. If I had had the slightest inkling that I would need to run for
my life tonight, I would have put on my boots instead, I think cynically. I stop and take off my heels. I fly down the stairs and the next thing I know, I’m standing shoeless on the filthy, cold stones of a deserted alley where the warm evening air mixes with the heavy urine smell. It’s drizzling. Sam’s jeep is already waiting with the engine roaring. He shoves me into the back seat and dives in next to me.
“Go!” He commands the driver.
I want to burst out into hysterical laughter when it hits me that some kind of secret society just dragged me in their car in a gloomy alley. I just can’t wrap my mind around everything that is happening or whom to trust.
“Hi, Laurel.”
I blink when I see who is behind the wheel.
“Sorry about all this,” Olivia says ruefully. “The movie had already begun when Sam noticed whom you were with and where.”
I snap my head sideways. “Are you watching me?”
Sam doesn’t bother to answer.
“We couldn’t take the risk of you going home with Adrian,” Olivia goes on.
“Excuse me?”
“Maybe not voluntarily, but without you knowing it, he would’ve brought you back to his house.”
That sounds creepy—even creepier than Sam watching me—and I feel a chill running down my spine. “Can someone please tell me what’s wrong with that guy?” What’s wrong with all of you?
“Why, Laurel?” Sam asks in a terse voice, his gaze stony. “You don’t listen anyway, no matter how often I try to explain.”
I feel tears welling up. “You don’t try to explain anything, Sam. You just forbid me to hang out with people.”
“I don’t forbid you to hang out with anyone, just with him.”
“And what about Maude?”
Olivia looks up. “Maude? What about her?”
Sam sighs. “I get a bad vibe from her.”
I gasp for air. “You want me to stay away from my friend because you get a bad vibe from her? This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Then just forget I said anything, okay?” he says grumpily and immediately looks the other way.
Olivia looks at Sam briefly and then turns her gaze to me. “Adrian is a morbid guy, Laurel, you shouldn’t hang out with him. You don’t need him, there are plenty of nice guys.”
But they won’t ask me out, I think gloomy. “Is Adrian really dangerous?”
“Yes!” Sam snarls.
“How did you end up at the movie theater with him?” Olivia asks calmly.
“He came by the brasserie this afternoon, and I just happened to be having lunch there. I offered him a drink that I had promised him a while ago.” I peek aside and catch a glimpse of Sam’s bitter face in the streetlight. He slowly turns his head toward me. I know what he’s thinking. I have done exactly what he has told me not to. He looks frustrated, but he manages to control his anger. I almost want to applaud him for it.
“That encounter was anything but a coincidence. Laurel,” Olivia says. “He was waiting for the right moment.”
I catch Olivia’s eyes in the rearview mirror. “He planned this?”
“Yes, I think he did.”
I swallow my fear. “I’m sorry if I put you in some kind of jeopardy.”
“You have not put us at any risk, only yourself. You’d better think carefully next time about whom you want to date,” Olivia admonishes.
Olivia’s reprimand feels like a slap on the wrist and I give her a pained look.
“That’s enough, Liv,” Sam says gruffly.
In stony silence, I am dropped in front of my home.
Sam is already waiting on the other side of the car. He is less courteous than his morbid relative. Barefoot, I walk over to him on the wet cobblestones. I am carrying my suede pumps in my hand. Sam stares at my feet.
“What will Adrian do now? Will he be at my doorstep shortly, demanding an explanation for me running off?”
Sam’s head comes up. “He’s very smart, he already knows what’s going on. If he wants an explanation, he’ll come to my house, not yours. We’ll keep an eye on him, he won’t bother you again,” Sam tries to reassure me.
“Thank you.”
There’s a long pause.
“How did you know I was out with Adrian?” I ask quietly. “Are you watching me?”
“Let’s just say that when it comes to you, I have a sixth sense.”
“I guess I have to settle for that answer?” I ask with a faint smile.
Sam nods his head. “Yeah, you do.”
“I’ll stay away from him,” I say and start to turn around. I hear him saying something else and turn back. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you.”
Sam’s jaw is set tight. “I said, you take pills. If I see you on sedatives again, I will tell your father, because I’m afraid he’s too busy to see that you are wearing yourself down.”
“What? I’m not taking…”
“Cut it out, Laurel. I see what you’re doing. I barely recognize you anymore and I blame you for that.”
“It’s just to get through f-finals,” I stammer. “Then I’ll quit.”
His eyes become large, dominant. “You quit now, right this minute! Understood?”
“Yes.”
“Sleep well.”
“Who are you people?” I whisper.
“Take care of yourself, Laurel.”
I don’t want to say goodbye. I want to return to the fire escape, to the ski lift, to wherever. I want his arms wrapped around me. I want him to call off his wedding.
What I want is not going to happen. Sam climbs into his car and slams the door shut.
17
laurel
“You look absolutely stunning, darling.” Tears are rolling down Mia’s face. “Martin, are you filming?”
“Oh, mom, please don’t cry,” Renee says, “or I’ll start too and then I will have to redo my makeup. And I don’t have time for that, Julien could be here any minute.”
“Oh, that boy is going to look so handsome in his suit. I can hardly wait to see you two together. I’m sure you’ll be the prettiest couple tonight.”
I am sitting at the top of the stairs looking down like a modern-day Cinderella trying to swallow the lump in my throat. I agree with Mia. Renee really does look stunningly beautiful—from the elegant sandals on her feet and the emerald green dress to the jeweled pins in her wavy hair. She certainly is a prom queen.
Mia hugs Renee carefully. “My little girl has grown up. Your father would have been so terribly proud of you.”
I feel my eyes sting. It’s not that I’m jealous of Renee—on the contrary, from the bottom of my heart, I want her to have this evening. She has put so much time and effort into studying despite her setbacks in the last few years. What’s getting to me is the fact that Renee has a mother to admire her, to tell her that she is the most beautiful of all, and as though that isn’t enough, she is also borrowing my very own father to capture the whole thing on tape.
As an accomplished cameraman, Martin follows his strutting stepdaughter around, recording the giggles and sobs of the two for eternity, as he once did with me and my mother—and I can’t stand it. But I do my best not to wallow in my own grief, because while I will never have my own mother telling me how beautiful I am, Renee will never have her own father recording the highlights of her life. We’re in this together, yet Renee has been able to accept it and make peace with it. However, this night belongs to Renee. It was my own choice to stay home.
Just the thought of prancing around in a sequined dress in front of Mia makes me feel horrible—as though I would be betraying my own mother. She isn’t happy about me not going to prom. She still has not given up her hopes of making me some kind of clone, a carbon copy of her perfect precious daughter. Ava is mad at me too. She and Maude have decided to go stag to
the school prom and they insisted that I come along. But I wouldn’t be the best company, considering my gloomy state.
Obviously, Sam is playing a significant role in the dark corners of my brain. After the graduation ceremony, school will be over and Sam Laurens will no longer be part of my life. The thought gives me a sudden twinge of pain. I still prefer a cool stare in the school hall or a stoic, indifferent attitude over nothing at all. But it’s over. Period. End of story. He is not meant for me.
I linger on the stairs for a while, wondering how I’ll get through this evening. Probably with some classic black-and-white movie from Mia’s collection, because sleeping is nearly impossible with this hot, stuffy weather.
I exhale deeply and slowly and put on a happy face, so I can go shower Renee with compliments. The shrill sound of the doorbell tears me out of my musing, and I realize that I’m alone. I hear muffled sounds coming out of the kitchen, but no one hears the bell.
Quickly, I hop down the stairs and strangely enough, my heart starts beating faster, although I am under absolutely no illusions about who is behind that door, dressed in full regalia.
I let my eyes glide over my stepsister’s sweetheart. He’s looking smart in his tuxedo with his bow tie. He even has a pocket square in the breast pocket of his jacket. He wears shiny leather shoes to top it all off. I have to admit that he looks well put together and definitely earns points for style.
“Whoa, you look elegant. Very slick.”
Julien is holding a flower corsage and smiles. I feel a twinge of jealousy and try to imagine what it would be like if Sam was the one standing here on my doorstep with a flower. I can’t get a clear image in my head.
“Hi, Laurel. Thanks.”
Julien gazes at my bare feet all the way up to my skirt and then his gaze settles on my tube top. His prying eyes are making me feel uncomfortable and I push my braid forward. I pull my top down to below my belly button. “Okay, now you are supposed to say how pretty I look as well,” I say casually.
“Sorry, I…”
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