by Sarah Price
She never had to ask her parents twice. Not when it came to spending time with Rebecca Yoder. Sweet, petite Rebecca with her freckled face and big brown eyes that always seemed to be looking for the next adventure. Leave it to Rebecca to find the nest of abandoned newborn bunnies and undertake the mission of saving them. Count on Rebecca to find a way to make weeding the garden a fun game. Even rainy days were exciting when Rebecca was around. Exciting, but safe.
Yet, Faith was now faced with a great decision as she stood on the hill overlooking the pond on Rebecca Yoder’s uncle’s farm. It bordered on Rebecca’s place and was a popular swimming destination with the other children. Faith had never ventured there, knowing that she couldn’t swim. But Rebecca, her dearest and “bestest” friend ever, had begged her to come along today. And so she had obliged.
Now, Faith was sorry that she had permitted herself to fall prey to peer pressure.
“I don’t know,” she started to say, trying to mask her reluctance. She didn’t want to look scared in front of her friends. “I bet my dad needs my help on the farm with the cows…”
Rebecca rolled her eyes and hurried back to her friend, grabbing her hand and dragging her down the hill. “Don’t be silly, goose! It’s too early to milk the cows and too hot to not take a quick dip!”
After all of these years, these years growing up together as sisters more than friends, Faith wondered how it was that Rebecca didn’t know that she couldn’t swim. How had she avoided this in the past? An even better question was how had she not avoided it today?
Even though they were both eleven years old, Rebecca was always quick to point out that she was eight months older than Faith. As far as Amish youth went, Rebecca was different. Quite different. In fact, Faith’s parents often laughed that the stork flew over their house by accident and delivered Rebecca to the wrong house.
It was true.
Faith was quiet and reserved, not known for her tomboyish activities. She didn’t like getting dirty but was never one to complain to Rebecca about it. Instead, she quietly went along with Rebecca who was a complete take-charge kind of girl. And always, she was smiling and laughing. It was this one particular characteristic that really stuck out about her. “Happy, smiling, laughing Rebecca”, she was called.
And everyone loved her.
Especially Faith.
So, strictly because she didn’t want to disappoint her friend, Faith let Rebecca lead her down the hill toward the pond and, without a single additional protest, followed her friend into the water.
She hadn’t expected the mud to swallow up her legs. Nor did she expect to lose her balance as she tried to trudge behind Rebecca who was already drenched from the waist down and splashing the other children, all boys of different ages. No other girls were in the pond. Just Rebecca and Faith. They were all laughing and having fun, enjoying the cool water that soothed their hot skin under the afternoon sun. All of them except Faith.
She stumbled in the water and, with a pounding heart, fell forward, face first into the murky water. Within seconds, her head was submerged and she slid further down the muddy embankment, completely losing her way. Terrified, she tried to call out but all that happened was water rushing into her mouth and down her throat. Her eyes were wide open and she could barely see anything for the other children had churned up the otherwise clear water.
This is it, she thought. I’m going to drown.
She began to feel lightheaded and the darkness began to grow. She felt herself slipping into a deep abyss and realized, with stunning clarity, that she actually felt at peace, comfortable and warm. Her body felt light and her fear began to subside. No longer did she fight the feeling that she was being embraced and held back from escaping. Instead, she succumbed to it with grace and dignity.
“Come on, Faith!”
The voices seemed to be far away. Too far away. And everything was still dark.
“Manuel! Do something!”
That sounded like Rebecca except her voice was strange. Panicking. Fearful. Upset. Faith had never heard her sound like that; not happy-go-lucky Rebecca! For a moment, Faith wondered what had made Rebecca so frantic.
“You have to save her, Manuel! Save her!”
“Come on, come on,” a male voice begged, desperation in his voice.
As if in a moment of electric force, the light came back but it was too bright. The sounds were louder. In fact, all of her senses were heightened, especially the pressure on her lips and nose. Someone was pinching her nose and someone was pressing their mouth against hers, breathing life back into her still body. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi. She felt a pressure on her chest before it returned to her lips.
Her eyes fluttered open and she immediately focused on the blue eyes, hovering above hers. Dark, deep-set eyes with an intensity that burned through her. She felt his lips against hers, forcing her mouth open again. As she began to make sense of what was happening, she began to cough and sputter, water being released from her lungs. She felt someone pull her upwards and pound her on her back. Feeling weak and lifeless, she leaned against someone’s shoulder, her cheek pressed against the rough, wet cloth of a man’s shirt.
“Faith!”
Again, it was Rebecca.
Faith shut her eyes and tried to take a deep breath. Fresh air had never tasted so pure and clean. “What happened?” she choked out, her words barely audible.
“You almost drowned.”
Faith tried to pull back and look at the man who said that. Vaguely, she recognized him. Manuel Petersheim. One of the older Amish boys that she sometimes saw at the different gatherings. She knew him to be seventeen and that was about it. When she realized that she was in his arms, she tried to push away but couldn’t. His arms were wrapped around her, holding her up.
“It’s alright,” he soothed. “Take a deep breath.”
She listened to him and tried to relax.
“Oh Manuel!” Rebecca gushed, her voice cracking. Faith realized that her friend was crying. “You saved her!”
“What happened?” Faith repeated.
Manuel pulled back, still keeping a close hold on her. He stared at her, taking in her blue eyes and wet hair. Shaking his head, he tried to smile but his face was pale, the color drained from it. “Seems like someone thought she could float, ja?” He tilted his head, just a touch, and raised an eyebrow. “Mayhaps next time you might take a swimming lesson or two before you venture into water.”
Before Faith could respond, Rebecca was on her knees and had her arms around her friend, crying as she hugged her. “You goose! Why didn’t you tell me you couldn’t swim?”
The images came back to her. The water. The mud. Sinking. That was when she began to shake. Indeed, as she realized that she had almost drowned, her own tears began to fall down her face. Her hands shook, her body shook. She just wanted to go home. To be in her mother’s kitchen, wrapped in her embrace. “I want to go home,” she managed to utter between her sobs.
“I’ll take you home,” Manuel said. “My buggy’s over there. Come, Rebecca. You ride along and show me where she lives, ja?”
The three of them walked across the field, Rebecca and Manuel on either side of Faith, helping to support her. The other children watched from the side of the pond, still speechless from having just watched the almost drowning of Faith Landes, the Englische friend of Rebecca Yoder. Quietly, all of them quickly gathered their things and walked back over the field, away from that pond and to the safety of their own parents’ farms.
As soon as Rebecca turned sixteen, she started what was called her rumschpringe, the time when Amish youths are allowed to explore the world of the Englische. She explained this to Faith with great excitement as she prepared to attend her very first singing on a Sunday evening. Her older brother was going to take her and Rebecca could hardly contain her enthusiasm. After all, she told Faith, she was now considered an adult. The idea of being able to socialize with her Amish friends and be worldlier ma
de Rebecca’s eyes sparkle.
“But you already know the world of the Englische,” Faith said glumly as she sat on the edge of Rebecca’s bed. “You know it through me.”
Rebecca was pinning on her apron over her dress, expertly sliding the straight pins through the black fabric without looking. “I know that, goose! But this is different!”
“I can’t see how,” Faith pointed, not liking the fact that Rebecca was going somewhere where she couldn’t go as well. “It’s a singing. It’s not even Englische!”
At that, Rebecca laughed, the sound like sweet music. Usually whenever Rebecca laughed, Faith would join in. It was contagious. Just not this time. “I’m sixteen now,” she tried to explain. “I can court young men if I want to!”
Faith made a face. Court men? There was nothing further from her mind than getting involved with boys. Her parents wouldn’t dream of letting her court anyone. They had forbidden such a thing, saying that courting invited trouble, although Faith suspected it was just one more way to keep her protected and safe. Still, she didn’t mind. “Courting leads to marriage, Rebecca. And you know where that leads you…”
Waving her hand over her shoulder, Rebecca turned to look at the small hand-held mirror that she picked up from the top of her small, narrow dresser. “I know, I know,” she mumbled, pinching her cheeks so that they were rosy pink.
“Babies!” Faith said, making a face. “Yuck.”
Rebecca sighed and set the mirror back onto the dresser. “Now Faith,” she said, turning around with one hand on her hip. “You know how I feel about that,” she said sharply.
It was true. Faith did know exactly how her friend felt about babies. Rebecca came from a large family. She had nine siblings, five older and four younger. She had over 150 cousins, many of whom she had never even met. Family gatherings at the Yoder household usually meant over 200 people in attendance. Much different than Faith’s own extended family of only thirty people.
Truth was that Rebecca adored children. Truth was that Rebecca longed for the day when she would have her own farm and raise her own family. Truth was that Faith couldn’t even imagine not finishing high school and, hopefully, attending the local community college so that she could find a nice job and stand on her own two feet, even if that included still living at home with her parents. It was one, if not the only way that the two young women differed.
Faith flopped back onto the bed and tossed her arm over her eyes. “Oh, go ahead and find your young Amish man, get married, and have your twenty children.”
She felt something soft hit her in the face and sat up, leaning on her elbows. Rebecca was frowning at her but it was a teasing frown. It was a rare moment when Rebecca was truly angry or upset. Faith looked around and saw that her friend had tossed a balled up handkerchief at her. “Twenty children, for sure and certain,” Rebecca scoffed playfully.
When it was time for Rebecca to leave, her brother James motioned for Faith to join them in his buggy. He offered to drop her off at her parents’ farm. Faith shook her head, needing the time to walk and clear her head. She stood in the driveway, watching as the buggy pulled away, feeling as if a part of their friendship was disappearing with it.
“I have big news, Rebecca!”
Faith could hardly contain herself. She had received the letter earlier that week but hadn’t had time to speak to her friend. As busy seventeen year olds, they only found time for visiting on Saturday afternoons. Faith was busy with high school and Rebecca often went to market on Thursdays and Fridays, leaving the house at dawn and returning after seven in the evening. On Saturday mornings, they both had chores to do around the house, especially with spring just around the corner.
“I have big news, too!” Rebecca said, her tone more solemn than usual.
Gone was the vivacious Rebecca that Faith had grown to love over the years. But Faith barely noticed as she gushed her announcement.
“I’m going to college!”
She had received the letter from Frank and Marshall College in Lancaster, not just accepting her into the next freshman class on early admission but also offering her a much-needed scholarship. Faith had never thought that she’d be able to go to a four-year institution. She had always planned on attending the local community college. It had been her guidance counselor that had encouraged her to try harder and reach higher. After all, Mrs. Pierce had argued, Faith was a straight-A student. Why settle for a community college when scholarships might be available to larger, more well-known academic institutions?
“Can you believe it? Frank and Marshall accepted me! I’m going to study English Literature!” Faith was all but hugging herself with delight. “And I’m able to start next year. I’m graduating high school a year early!”
“That’s right gut,” Rebecca said but her eyes seemed distant and unfocused. College was a foreign entity to Rebecca. After all, she had stopped attending school in the eighth grade. She knew the basics: reading, writing, and arithmetic with a little bit of geography and history tossed in there. But that was all she needed to know to survive in the world of the Amish.
“Aren’t you excited for me?”
Rebecca tried to smile but Faith knew that the true importance was lost on her friend.
It had been this way for a while. As Faith matured and became part of her own world, Rebecca seemed to dissolve into hers. The chasm between their two worlds was increasing. Faith recognized it. Rebecca was aware of it. But they both continued trying to deny it existed.
Sighing, Faith gave up. “OK, so what’s your big news then?”
At this, Rebecca lit up. Her face glowed and her eyes sparkled. For a moment, Faith saw her old friend, her “bestest” buddy enticing her to climb a tree or build a dam in the stream in the pasture. “I’m going to take my instructional.”
Faith frowned. Instructional? That wasn’t what she had expected Rebecca to say. Without being told, Faith knew what ‘take my instructional’ meant. It meant that Rebecca would take twelve weeks of lessons from the bishop prior to being able to become a baptized member of the church. Faith also knew that once Rebecca took that kneeling vow, promising to honor the Amish faith and traditions, both old and new, there was no turning back. The Amish culture and the Amish religion were different, true. But once someone became a baptized member, it was one and the same.
“Oh.”
Now it was Rebecca’s turn to frown. “Is that all you can say? ‘Oh’? This is a big step for me.”
Faith didn’t know how to respond. A big step? She failed to see how that was true. After all, Rebecca’s parents had been grooming her for this next step, the same way other children took communion at other churches. “Well, that’s great, Rebecca,” she managed to say, although she wasn’t quite certain that she meant it. “We always knew you would take the kneeling vow.”
Appeased, Rebecca nodded eagerly. “I had to pray long and hard on it, Faith. I wasn’t certain if this year was the right year but,” she paused, her eyes glancing into the distance. Something else was on her mind, something that seemed to create an inner glow. “Ja, it’s the right time.”
There was a peace about Rebecca’s face as she said these words. Faith could only watch in amazement and wonder, amazed that her friend was so determined and certain of herself and wondering if she, too, might one day feel the same way.
“What do you mean, you’re getting married?”
In complete disbelief, Faith stared at her friend. Rebecca lowered her eyes. Faith wasn’t certain whether Rebecca was being demure about the subject or was merely uncomfortable discussing this with her. If Faith had learned anything about the Amish over the past few years, it was how private they were about such things as courtship and marriage.
Yet, there was something else at play. Faith had noticed an increasing distance between them. The more Rebecca clung to the Amish faith and lifestyle, the further apart they became. However, this gap had increased significantly in the past six months, which, Faith suspected, was
probably about the time when her friend had begun to seriously court Manuel Petersheim.
“I’d like you to come to the wedding,” Rebecca finally asked. “It’s in two weeks on Thursday at my mamm’s house.”
Faith’s mouth fell open. “Two weeks? That’s not much of an engagement!”
Rebecca lifted her eyes and stared at Faith, no words slipping through her lips in response.
“You just took your baptism! You just turned eighteen!”
“Ja?” The way Rebecca said it could easily have been translated into ‘So What?’
“Ja?” Faith repeated in disbelief. “Ja? That’s all you can say?” But what she was really thinking was: How did this happen? How had we drifted so far apart? “Wow, Rebecca,” she finally went on. “I guess I should just say congratulations and how lucky Manny is.”
“Manuel,” Rebecca corrected, an edge to her voice. “You need to stop calling him that strange and silly nickname!”
Faith rolled her eyes. “Manuel then.”
“He bought a farm,” Rebecca gushed, ignoring Faith’s reaction. “It’s a wunderbaar gut farm with almost 100 acres!” She grabbed Faith’s hands. “Can you imagine?”
“No,” Faith said, relieved that she could finally be honest with her friend. “No, I cannot.”
“It’s a bit on a hill,” she continued. “But the farmhouse! Oh Faith! I can see it now! Hanging out the laundry from the edge of the porch! The line runs right to the corner of the barn!”
Faith didn’t know how to respond. “That…that sounds lovely.”
Rebecca wasn’t listening and for that, Faith was grateful. She didn’t want her friend to hear the hesitation in her voice and her lack of enthusiasm for the big news. Instead, Rebecca gushed on. “Some of the acreage is wooded but at least the potential is there.”
“Sounds like it,” Faith added, hoping that she sounded sincere.
Rebecca took a deep, satisfied breath. “Can you believe it? After all these years? To think that Manuel Petersheim, the very young man who saved your life years ago, is now going to become my husband?” She clutched her hands together and sighed. “He’s so amazingly kind and sweet. And such a good-hearted man. I couldn’t be any happier!”