by Sarah Price
Sadie and Benjamin took turns pushing the shopping cart down the wide aisles as Anna helped direct Faith as to what to purchase. Canned goods, flour, sugar, fresh meat, and vegetables. By the time they were finished, Faith had to help Benjamin and Sadie navigate the heavy cart.
“Oh my,” Faith said as she assessed the conveyer belt. “That’s an awful lot of food!” She glanced at Benjamin. “Do you think we’ll ever eat it all?”
“That depends if you are a good cook!” he replied and Sadie nudged him with her elbow. Startled, he looked at his sister and frowned. “Well it’s the truth!”
Faith laughed and tousled his brown, loopy curls. “You let me know after we cook a nice dinner today, OK?”
Benjamin had grinned, that lopsided smile, and nodded his head. “I can do that, Faith!” Like Gideon, Benjamin favored Manuel in appearance over Rebecca. Faith could imagine Manuel as a child whenever she looked at Benjamin: curly brown hair, bright blue eyes, and a charm about him that exuded goodness. But his personality was much more like Rebecca, the Rebecca of Faith’s youth. Gideon, however, was Manuel through and through in both appearance and temperament.
By the time they made it back to the farm, the mood of the children was joyful, with teasing and laughter filling the car. No one complained about having to carry in the shopping bags or about helping Faith figure out where to store their supplies in the kitchen. Immediately after everything was put to order, Faith glanced at the clock and noticed that it was almost ten-thirty. She needed to start cooking the mid-day meal.
“Best get started peeling those potatoes,” she urged Sadie and Mary.
“What shall I do?” Anna asked.
Faith glanced around the kitchen, noticing that there were toys and papers scattered around the sitting area. “Perhaps you could tidy up over there, Anna; makes it nice for your daed to come home to an orderly house. Benjamin, would you sweep the floor a bit?”
“Aw, that’s girls work!” he groaned in response.
Fighting a smile, Faith knelt down before him and leaned toward his ear. “If you do, I think I could be convinced to make some chocolate chip cookies later this afternoon.”
With that, he stood up straight, a serious look on his face. “Sweeping the floor, then. I’m right on it, Faith,” he announced and hurried to the washroom to get the broom, leaving Faith laughing at his newfound spark of enthusiasm for helping in the kitchen.
By the time Manuel and Gideon walked into the house, there was order in the kitchen with a table that had been set by the girls and the good smell of cooked chicken and mashed potatoes filling the room. Faith was standing at the sink, washing some pans when she heard the washroom door open. She turned off the water, shaking her hands dry as she turned around, apprehensive over Manuel’s reaction when he entered the room.
He stood in the doorway for a moment, his eyes scanning the room and seeing everything through fresh eyes. When he noticed the table, set with a simple tablecloth and steaming food, he lifted his eyes and sought out Faith’s. There was something about his expression, a mixture of emotions. She thought he looked sorrowful as well as relieved. Yet, like most Amish men, his nature was to not speak of such feelings. Instead, he merely nodded his head once as he entered the room.
He crossed the room toward the sink and hesitated as Faith stepped back so that he could wash his hands. She handed him a dishtowel when he was finished and noticed that he hesitated before taking it. “Danke, Faith,” he said, his voice low as he dried his hands.
Unlike the previous visit, there was more animation around the kitchen table. Faith sat on the bench next to Sadie and Mary, listening to the conversation between Benjamin and Gideon about the field work that had been done earlier. She could see disappointment in Benjamin’s face about having missed out on time spent outdoors and she took the opportunity to speak up.
“Perhaps, Benjamin, you might help your daed this afternoon,” she suggested. “The girls and I are going to tackle some of the gardening.”
Benjamin beamed and turned toward his father. “Could I, Daed?”
Manuel glanced at Faith, his forehead wrinkled in disapproval. Immediately, she knew that she may have crossed a line by speaking up yet again. At the same time, she didn’t care. These children were starving for normalcy in their life and it meant that Manuel had to step up and take the boys, both boys, under his wing once again. “I reckon,” he mumbled, still looking at Faith.
Ignoring his disapproving look, Faith turned to Anna. “I think we need to do some weeding this afternoon. What do you think, Anna? Flower beds? The garden? I noticed your mamm’s garden looks more like a jungle for monkeys than a place to grow food for people!”
Sadie and Benjamin giggled.
“And those flower beds!” She teased. “We need to keep up your mamm’s reputation for having the most beautiful and creative flower beds in the g’may!”
Anna nodded. “I agree.”
Faith smiled. “So, outside work for us all this afternoon!”
Benjamin frowned, a pout on his face when he heard her proclamation. “What about my chocolate chip cookies?”
Everyone laughed and Faith thought she even saw a hint of a smile on Manuel’s face. This is good, she told herself. Slowly but surely, it will happen.
“And, of course, chocolate chip cookies for everyone!”
After the dinner meal was over, Faith stood at the kitchen sink, washing the dishes as the girls brought them over from the table. Anna took charge of putting away the left overs and Sadie wiped down the table, all without being asked. Mary stood beside Faith, a dishtowel in her hand to wipe dry the wet dishes before stacking them on the counter. As she finished with the last plate, Faith turned off the water faucet and glanced out the window. She could see Benjamin skipping along behind his older brother, a newfound energy to his step. It pleased her to see that, with a little direction, the family was willing to respond, all but Manuel who seemed more than uncomfortable with her presence around the house.
I’m doing this for Rebecca, she reminded herself. Not Manuel.
Outside, Faith let the younger girls guide her to the garden where she quickly assessed that it was in dire need of attention if they were going to produce any vegetables that summer. “Oh help,” she said as she saw the overgrown mass of weeds. “Looks like we have our hands full, don’t we?”
They spent the next hour working their way through the rows, plucking anything green that looked unidentifiable. While Mary was quiet as she worked, Sadie was just the opposite. She was full of constant chatter, sharing stories with anyone who would listen and asking questions of Faith about teaching the Englische children.
“Your school sounds a lot different than ours,” Sadie said, an incredulous look on her face as if she couldn’t fathom any other type of school than the one-room schoolhouse she attended. “No German? No hymn singing?”
Faith shook her head. “No German and the only singing the students do is with their music class, although they sure enjoy hosting a winter and spring concert for their parents.”
Sadie grinned. “We do that! Only this past spring…” Her voice trailed off and she looked down at the pile of weeds at her feet. For a moment, Faith thought that she might start to cry, clearly thinking of her mamm’s passing which most likely resulted in the children missing the spring concert. But, with a deep breath, Sadie returned to the task at hand. “Well, mayhaps next year.”
Reaching out, Faith touched Sadie’s shoulder. “I bet I could come to your winter concert next year,” she said. “Although summer has only just started and, rather than think of something so far away, I’d much prefer to enjoy the glorious weather, wouldn’t you?”
Appeased, Sadie nodded her head and went back to work.
“Faith,” Anna called from the edge of the porch. “Ruthie’s awake.”
Wiping her hands on the bottom part of her dress, Faith glanced at Mary and Sadie. “Guess that’s my call,” she said lightly. “If you get too
hot, come inside. I’ll make some lemonade for everyone after I get Ruthie situated.”
It was almost three before the girls could be heard clamoring up the porch steps, Sadie chattering away about something that two girls had said the previous day at church. She was still talking when Anna and Mary both stopped walking, standing just inside the doorway and staring at the kitchen. Ruthie was lying on her back in the middle of a soft blanket on the floor while Faith worked. The table was already set for supper, a plate and utensils at each place setting. In the center of the table, Faith had placed a small glass filled with purple lilacs that she had snuck from the lilac bush that was located just beyond the kitchen’s side door.
“You’re back already!” she exclaimed, smiling as she motioned for them to wash their hands. “I bet everything looks right as rain out there in those gardens!”
“You made supper?” Anna asked, her mouth still hanging open.
“Well, of course,” Faith responded. “You were busy working outside. I’m sure all of your brothers and your daed will appreciate an early supper after having worked so hard today. Speaking of which,” she added, hurrying to the counter where she had a large plastic pitcher with a stack of cups ready for refreshments. “I made a pitcher of lemonade and thought that we should take it out to those boys. Field work is sure to make them thirsty.”
Mary sniffed the air. “Do I smell cookies?”
Faith looked surprised at her question. “Well of course! I promised your brother, didn’t I? I have them in that Tupperware over there, if you wouldn’t mind taking that. I can carry Ruthie if Anna will take the lemonade.” Within minutes, they were back outside and headed across the driveway and toward the backfield where Faith had last seen Manuel and his sons.
Careful not to step on the growing rows of corn plants, they navigated the field until they came to the top of the hill where Manuel was repairing a fence that a tree limb had taken down during the previous week’s storm. When Benjamin noticed the approaching girls, he let out a whoop which made both Gideon and Manuel jump.
Leaning back on his heels, Manuel lifted his hand to his forehead, blocking the sun as he peered at the approaching figures. He watched, not moving for a few minutes until they were closer. Then, setting the hammer on the ground, he stood, pausing to stretch out the kinks in his back from having knelt for so long. “What’s this?” he asked.
“Refreshments,” Faith answered.
“A picnic!” Sadie shouted happily at the same time.
“Picnic?” he repeated, lifting his hat from his head and wiping the bead of sweat from his brow. Faith noticed that his curly hair was flattened on the top, where the hat had just rested. “Ja vell, that sure was a right gut idea,” he finally said. “It’s hot working out here in the sun.” He glanced at the sky. “Reckon it will be a hot summer, then.”
“Here Daed,” Anna said.
Manuel took the glass of lemonade that Anna poured for him. “Danke, dochder,” he said, forcing a smile before he lifted it to his lips. Mary opened the Tupperware container and offered it to her father. “And cookies?” He looked up at Faith, a mixture of concern and appreciation in his face. “You have been busy, ja?”
She shifted Ruthie in her arms. “Many hands…” she started to say lightly.
“…make light the work!” Sadie and Benjamin finished the sentence for her in unison.
“That it does,” he said softly, a sigh escaping his lips. “Best not be getting used to such treats, kinner. Faith has her own things to do and can’t be coming every day.”
At this, Faith raised an eyebrow. “Why ever not? It’s my intention, Manuel, like I said over dinner, to be here for these children…your children…during the summer. Unless you have someone else to help, I see no reason to turn me away.”
“Daed?” Anna started to plead, but one stern look from her father caused her to immediately lower her eyes and remain silent on the subject. It was clear that she was too aware that, if Faith did not return, the burden of the household duties would fall back on her shoulders.
Finishing his lemonade, Manuel handed the cup back to his daughter and nodded at Faith. “Danke” was all he said before he knelt down and picked up the hammer and returned his attention to fixing the fence.
She knew he wasn’t pleased with her intentions but she couldn’t understand why. With Rebecca’s mamm being ill and his own mamm having passed away years before, there were but few options available to the Petersheim family. Still, she wasn’t about to worry about his reaction. Once again, she reminded herself that she was doing this for Rebecca and the children, not Manuel. He had his hands full dealing with the farm work and eventually would see that her solution, even if temporary, was the only one available to him and the kinner.
Chapter Five
Faith stood by the edge of the garden, Rebecca’s garden, her hands on her hips and a satisfied look on her face. In just two weeks, it had been transformed from an overgrown cluster of weeds that were choking the fledgling vegetables to a beautiful plot of land with green plants that boasted of tiny flowering buds on the tomato stalks, beans hanging from the vines, and the hint of zucchini and squash. A plump bumblebee buzzed by, landing on one of the tomato stalks before flying away toward the barn.
With the help of Mary and Sadie, there were no weeds left in the garden. After two days of clearing the soil, they were now on a maintenance routine. Faith had made a game out of it, letting the girl with the largest bucket of weeds select the type of cookies that she’d make for them in the afternoon. More often than not, it was young Sadie who won. Her energy was boundless as was her love of sugar drop cookies.
With a daily routine and positive encouragement, Faith had noticed a significant change in the household. Anna seemed more relaxed and less stressed about little things. The bags under her eyes had begun to disappear and she was even taking an interest in Ruthie. The more attention Faith bestowed on the baby, the more the rest of the children started to warm up to their youngest sister. Even the boys seemed re-energized by Faith’s presence in the home.
The only one who seemed distant and withdrawn was Manuel. He was pleasant enough, for sure Faith certainly couldn’t fault him for that. His manners were impeccable and he was more than polite. But, ever since that first day when Faith had showed up at the farm, barging into their lives without so much as asking permission, he hadn’t had much to say. In fact, he seemed to be avoiding her.
Oh, there had been that one conversation, the one when she had left that first day. He had waited in the barn until it was time for Faith to leave. It was half past five and she had to return home, spend some time thinking about the day and decompressing.
Besides having prepared a light supper for the family, Faith had made certain that baby Ruthie had been fed, washed, and readied for bed before bidding the children good-night. To her relief and surprise, Anna had walked her to the door and given her a big hug, thanking her and making her promise that she would come back the next morning. When Faith had pulled away, she was even more surprised to see tears in Anna’s eyes. What a burden, she realized, for a young lady barely on the brink of womanhood to confront!
Her mind was in a whirl. So, as she sat in her car, staring ahead at nothing, she barely noticed that Manuel was suddenly standing on the other side of her car, his hands on the open window as he knelt down and peered inside.
“You scared me!” she had exclaimed, jumping when she finally noticed him.
“Didn’t mean to,” he had replied earnestly. Then, he had glanced over his shoulder at the house, making certain that none of the children were outside and able to overhear the conversation. Satisfied that the kinner were back inside, he turned his attention back to Faith. “It’s not necessary to come here, Faith,” he had said slowly. “I appreciate your help today but we have to learn to manage on our own, ja?”
Faith had frowned at his words. That was his rationale? He certainly hadn’t demonstrated the ability to manage so far. “I disagr
ee, Manuel.”
“Disagree?”
A foreign concept, Faith had realized, for an Amish man. After all, Amish women were taught that the head of the household was the husband. Disagreeing with the husband didn’t come with that territory. She was quite certain Rebecca hadn’t expressed disagreement with Manuel too often, if at all, during their marriage.
“Yes, I disagree. Anna is too young to take on this responsibility and the other children need someone to help them through this transition. And the baby…” She had let the sentence trail off, not wanting to share her opinion about that dear, sweet little Ruthie. There was no sense in deliberately upsetting him. He had enough to deal with already.
But she had noticed that a cloud seemed to pass over his face, the darkness expressing his displeasure. “This is my house, Faith.” His tone had been even and low but a stern reminder. “My family.”
“Yes,” Faith had agreed. “I am aware of that, Manuel. And I respect it, too. But there is no shame in having someone help a bit. Besides,” she added as she started the car. “I miss her, too. Maybe this is just as much to heal me as to help you.”
That had been the end of their conversation. In fact, there had been no further discussion at all. Instead, Faith had spared him an understanding smile as she shifted the car into drive and slowly headed out of the driveway toward the main road. In her rearview window, she saw him standing there, staring after her with a look of abandonment on his face. She wished she knew exactly what he was thinking, wished that she had been around more during his marriage to Rebecca, but she knew that hindsight was 20-20. All she could do was correct the future, not change the past.
Now, two weeks later, as she stood at the edge of the garden, two weeks into the summer, she stared down at the flourishing vegetables and smiled to herself. She took a moment to say a silent prayer, thanking God for giving her this opportunity to make up to Rebecca for the distance that had grown between them. Even if Manuel didn’t appreciate or participate in the healing process, Faith knew that her presence was creating a positive impact on the kinner. And, as far as Faith was concerned, that was the most important thing. Rebecca’s kinner needed to get back on track so that they could face the future.