by Ju Ephraime
He made his way to the easy chair in front of the window. He pressed the button on his watch to hear the time and was shocked to hear it was 1:30 p.m.; that was late for Lisa. She always made her rounds between 12:30, and 1:00 a.m. To his knowledge she had never been in his room after 11:00. Did that mean she was not coming tonight? He sat there too wound up to return t0 bed. His mind drifted back again to Shelly. He and Shelly had been an item for two years before his accident, but after his accident, it had taken her all of two months to abandon him. He still remembered the feeling of helpless frustration that had threatened to overwhelm him when he’d learned that Shelly had thought it best if she stayed away and gave him time to heal. Her selfishness and coldness left him speechless. It had made his recovery much more difficult than it should have been until he’d convinced Jake to leave his position as his accountant and take on the responsibility of his personal care. He did not think he could have been able to handle a stranger seeing to his needs. It’d worked out well. Now, he was once again in a transition, but it was one he welcomed. It was not that he did not appreciate all the help that Jake had given him, but he was ready to move on, to start living his life once again and he had Lisa to thank for that.
Thinking of Lisa, it was now 11:45 P.M. and still she was a no-show. Just as he was contemplating reaching for the house phone to see what was going on with her, he heard the sound of footsteps approaching. Ah, at last! But the moment the door opened, he knew it was not Lisa, because there was none of her sweet violet scent preceding her into the room. His hunch was confirmed when he heard Jake calling his name.
“Damien, Damien.” Jake was calling out to him as he walked towards his bathroom.
For a moment he was so angry he was tempted to ignore his call, but he thought that would be childish. Besides, sulking in the chair was not going to get him the information he so desperately wanted.
“I’m over here, Jake,” he answered. “What’s going on? Why are you here?”
“This is the thanks I get for checking up on you?” Jake asked, a smile in his voice.
“Don’t misunderstand me,” Damien replied, “but the last time I spoke with you about your nightly rounds, you’d told me that responsibility was now Lisa’s. Where is she?”
“Lisa asked me to make the rounds for her because she was not feeling well,” Jake replied.
Now he felt like a heel. There he was feeling sorry for himself and poor Lisa was not well.
“Did you call Dr. Chavez for her?” he wanted to know.
“I offered, but she declined the offer. She thought it was a stomach bug that would more than likely disappear in the morning…her words. She did admit to taking two aspirins before retiring for the night.”
“Do you want me to go check up on her?” Jake inquired.
“No,” he replied. The last thing he wanted was for Jake to be visiting Lisa’s room, when he himself could not make his own way there under his own steam.
He became very subdued as he sat there, head bent, contemplating his predicament. He had no business lusting after Lisa. He was handicapped, just as Shelly said. How was this going to work with Lisa? Would she turn him down if she tried to go to the next level? Would she be disgusted having sex with a blind man?
These questions kept him up for the better part of the night. When he finally made it back to bed, it was almost dawn. This threw his entire schedule off. It was lunchtime before he was awakened with an indignant Jake calling out to him.
“Damien? Damien? Damien, are you okay?” Jake was asking.
“I’m okay, Jake. Will you please stop the racket? I didn’t get to bed until late.”
“You didn’t get to bed until late?” Jake asked incredulously. “What were you doing?”
“What do you think I was doing,” he asked, groaning, and stumbling as he got out of bed.
He knew he had an erection, but he didn’t give a damn if it was visible to Jake. He hadn’t asked him to interrupt his sleep, and what a sleep it had been. In his dream he had gone all the way with Lisa, and it was the most mind-blowing sex he’d had. He knew he was going to suffer the rest of the day going around with this enormous erection.
He ignored his wheelchair and made his way stumbling as he felt his way to his bathroom. He stepped into the shower while the water was still cold; he needed something to snap him back to reality. He stepped out of the shower and was in the same condition as when he’d gone in. He blotted himself with the towel, being careful not to do too much touching of his raging friend.
He walked back into his room, praying that he was alone. Just to be certain, he called out.
“Is anybody there?” When he got no answer, he breathed a sigh of relief. He was able to relax as he went to the clothes he knew were laid out for him on the rack next to his bed.
He was dressed in good time. He was getting better and better at this. He would still have to ask Jake or Lisa to shave him, but today, he would go without the shave. He was buttoning the last button in his shirt when he felt a presence in the room. His nostrils flared in hungry anticipation for that familiar scent.
It was very difficult for him to continue with his dressing, knowing Lisa had entered the room. He remained quiet waiting for her to identify herself as he stepped into his shoes. If he were to turn to her, he would no doubt reveal himself because he could feel a powerful erection coming on. There was no way he would have been able to hide his condition from her, so he spent some time fidgeting with the buttons of his shirt, willing his body to calm down. Still, she did not say anything. He was just beginning to think he had imagined the scent when it got stronger, so he knew she had advanced farther into the room.
He was almost to the point of giving himself away when she finally spoke.
“Hi Damien,” she said, a bit hesitantly.
He decided to keep up the charade.
“Lisa?” he answered questioningly. As if he had not known she was there the moment she’d entered the room.
He held his hand out in her general direction although, if he so desired, he could have walked right up to her without erring in his direction, but he was not ready to show his hand yet. She reached for his hand, and as their fingers touched, he felt a jolt straight to his groin. He thought briefly about how good it would feel to take her into his arms and move back to his bed with her.
“How are you, Lisa?” he managed to ask. “Jake told me you weren’t feeling well last night. Are you feeling better now?”
“Much,” she replied. “I told Jake it was most probably a twenty-four hour bug. I did not mean for him to trouble you with my problems.”
“Your problems are mine as long as you’re here, Lisa. Never doubt it, not for a minute. Now, what brought you to my room? Not that I’m not enjoying having you here, but being alone with you makes me lose all sense of reasoning, and I’m trying to behave.”
***
To hear him admit he was having just as difficult a time controlling himself as she was having made her heart pump hard and fast. Heat shot to the surface of her skin, as all her focus was on Damien and what he was doing to her as he rubbed the pulse on her wrist. The motion was driving her crazy with need. She made no move to retrieve her hand but stood there, her body stiff as a ramrod. She tried desperately to remain aloof, praying he would kiss her and then wishing that he wouldn’t.
The decision was taken from her when Damien pulled her against him, his arms wrapping around her stiff body. Lisa was too overwhelmed to make a sound as he lowered his head and brought his mouth to hers in a firm, slow, devouring kiss. Pleasure snaked through her body, weakening her legs that threatened to collapse under her.
She went pliant, opening helplessly to him. He grabbed the back of her head, holding her in place as he proceeded to kiss her first deeply then giving her little nips, which he soothed with his tongue. The storm of emotions raging through her was like nothing she had experienced before. The world fell away, and all she knew was pleasure and need and a pulsing
ache that permeated her entire body. By the time his mouth broke from hers, she was almost ready to say to hell with it and beg him to relieve the ache she was feeling between her legs.
Carefully, Damien eased Lisa’s head to his shoulder, all the while massaging her scalp as he wove his fingers through her hair. The mass of heavy hair had become loose from the clip she always had it up in, and it was hanging onto her shoulders in wild disarray. He appeared to enjoy playing with her hair because he kept her from repining it by keeping his hand in her hair even when he stepped away from her.
She had walked in while Damien was putting on his shirt, and she could not deny herself. She could not stop herself from admiring the muscles that rippled on his back as he’d moved doing up his shirt. She could only imagine what he used to look like when he had his sight because, although he spent a lot of time in the gym, she knew he was limited in what he could do because of his sight.
She had concluded that to have such a well-conditioned body he had to have been a very physically active man. Though he didn’t let his disability stop him, he was nonetheless severely hindered by the lack of his sight. Lately he had become more morose, retreating into his room and spending most of his time in there. She had no idea what he found to occupy himself in there, but she respected his privacy and had not ventured into his room when the door was closed. Her going in there today was unusual, and she only went because Jake thought she should check up on Damien because he had not put in an appearance at breakfast. She had no idea she would walk in on him while he was in the process of getting dressed. For a moment she wondered if Jake knew what she would likely walk in on.
Now, as she stood there admiring him just for a moment, she let herself relive the kiss they’d just shared. It had been so long since she’d been held in passion and gripped so surely against a man’s hard body. Damien had been so strong, so warm, that it was no wonder she’d given in to the excitement of the moment. Any woman would.
In examining the way Damien had made her feel, she realized some of the sensation had been familiar, but some had been entirely new. In the brief fling she’d had with Liam, she had been excited to be with him, excited he’d asked her out and appeared to be genuinely interested in her. That excitement had soon turned to ash when she’d found out she had been a pawn in his sick game. It had seriously undermined her confidence in herself as a woman if the only reaction she could get from a member of the opposite sex was to be ridiculed. That experience had put an end to her amorous intent, until Damien. She seriously hoped he wasn’t toying with her. She didn’t think she could survive it because she was beginning to suspect she had strong feelings for Damien. That brought her back to the way he was still playing with her hair.
“Damien, I came in here to ask you if you would like for me to bring you a tray in here, or are you going to have lunch in the dining room?”
***
“I’m not very hungry, Lisa, not for food anyway, but I’ll settle for a snack. I’ll have it in my office. I’ll meet you there.” He needed to be alone for a minute. He just could not understand the effect Lisa was having on him.
“Are you sure?” I can walk with you,” she replied.
“Yes, I’m sure, Lisa. I’m perfectly capable of getting myself to my office under my own steam. I’ll see you there in a bit,” he retorted. He was ashamed of himself because he was taking out his frustration on Lisa. So, he tried this again. “I’ll be all right Lisa. I’m getting better at moving from one room to the next. I’ll see you in a bit.”
Eleven
After Lisa left, Damien decided he wanted to have his snack in the dining room after all. He took some time before making his way there however. As he’d told Lisa, he was not hungry for food, but he would have to eat something before either she or Jake called his doctor complaining about his lack of appetite. The last thing he needed was for Dr. Chavez to begin poking him and questioning him about his body functions. He wanted to keep that knowledge to himself, as well as, of course, his interest in Lisa --- For the time being anyway. He did not know if she knew that prior to her arrival, his sex drive had been virtually non-existent. Which is why, much as he was constantly frustrated by his unfulfilled desires, he welcomed them after the long period of dormancy he had experienced.
He could not decide on whether to take his wheelchair or attempt the long walk to the dining room on his own. In the end, he chickened out and went in his wheelchair. He didn’t want to embarrass himself if he were to run into any obstacle while Lisa was watching, and he not able to see her expression. Sometimes, he felt like less of a man because he could not get up and go as he used to.
He wheeled himself into the dining room. He could smell the food before he was through the door. He knew she was present because he could smell her violets vying with the smell of the food.
He moved to the space set up for him, so his wheelchair fitted just right.
“Fix yourself a plate and join me, Lisa,” he said.
“I’ve already eaten, Damien,” she replied.
“Well, since I’m not comfortable with being observed while I eat then I suggest you humor me and join me or allow me to eat in solitude,” he said.
“Okay, I’ll leave you to it and return later. I’ll have some coffee with you then,” she informed him.
When he could no longer smell her, he took a deep breath and immediately felt bereft, as if he had suddenly lost his best friend. What little appetite he had went out the door with her, so he busied himself with drinking two cups of coffee without touching anything else on the tray. He knew the food was good because it smelled wonderful, now that Lisa was no longer in the room.
In all fairness to Lisa, he could not blame her for his reaction to her. She appeared to be equally affected by him. He, however, could not blame his unique scent because he didn’t wear any unusual cologne.
He could only imagine how many men she had chasing her if all men were affected by her as he was. He could not ask Jake, the only other man he knew who shared as much of Lisa’s company. So far, he only sensed a playfulness between the two of them, something he envied. None of the same tension was when Jake and Lisa were in the same room as existed between Lisa and himself.
He rang the bell to signify he was done with breakfast. She walked into the room, followed by Jake.
“You finally deign to favor us with your presence?” Jake began until he saw that Damien had not touched his food. “Are you not feeling well, Damien?”
“Why?” Damien asked, immediately on the defensive. “Has Lisa been carrying tales about me?”
“Leave Lisa out of this,” Jake replied. “I can see for myself you did not touch your food.”
“I’m not a child, Jake. I didn’t want the damn food. Take it away and, if you can’t control your over-cheerful mood, leave me alone for the remainder of the day.”
“Unfortunately, I can’t do that. I have some documents that require your signature. They can’t wait because they are overdue as it is.”
“Why are they over-due?” he wanted to know.
“They somehow got separated from the usual pile, and I only just discovered them. Are you up to it? Do you want me to bring them in here?”
“No, I’ll make my way to the office in a bit,” Damien responded. He had been looking forward to enjoying a cup of coffee with Lisa, but Jake’s presence ruined the entire thing, putting him in a foul mood.
Throughout his conversation with Jake, Lisa had remained silent. Now she spoke up.
“Let me make you a fresh pot of coffee,” she said. “I’ll have a cup with you so we can discuss your plans for the day after you are through with Jake.”
Suddenly, he felt better. “Thanks, Lisa that would be nice. I don’t know what’s going on with me lately. I seem to be in a bad mood a lot, which is so unlike me. I’m usually a very easy-going guy.”
“If you say so, Damien.”
He could hear the smile in her voice. So even though he couldn’t see her, he kn
ew she was smiling.
“What are you smiling at?” he asked, trying to throw her off.
“How do you know I’m smiling?” she wanted to know.
“I just know. So what’s so funny?” he persisted.
“Well, if you must know, I find your relationship with Jake very enlightening. He never seems to be fazed by your changing moods. I don’t know if I’ll be able to respond like him, but I’ll try.”
“You don’t have to respond to me like Jake, God forbid. Jake is a man, and I would never talk to you the way I speak to him. I don’t think it’s a gentlemanly thing to do.”
“You don’t have to treat me any differently than you treat Jake, Damien. After all, I’ll be replacing him. So don’t curtail your reaction just for me. I want you to treat me as you would Jake.”
“Trust me, Lisa, when I tell you there is no way in hell I could treat you the same way I treat Jake. It’s just not possible, not remotely. For one thing, I don’t feel about Jake the way I feel about you. For another, Jake irritates me; you don’t, so we’ll leave it at. Why don’t you get that coffee?”
“Yes, I’ll get the coffee. I could certainly use a cup right now,” she agreed, beating a hasty retreat toward the door.
As the door closed behind Lisa, Damien swore he felt a chill come over him as if the sun had gone behind the clouds, causing a chill to permeate the air. He told himself he was just being silly, so he tried to think pleasant thoughts, but it was a losing battle. Every thought was about Lisa, so he gave up and allowed himself to dream.
He had a mental picture of Lisa. From his interactions with her, he got an air of uncalculated niceness about her that was as seductive as it was endearing. He imagined her as a woman who would love generously, who would care for him unquestionably, unlike Shelly, who’d felt she couldn’t handle his disability. He sensed he wouldn’t have that situation with Lisa. As a matter of fact, she seemed just as turned on by him as he was by her. Also, he remembered Lisa telling him that she had gone into private care because she liked developing a more personal relationship with her clients than the hospital environment allowed. That told him she had much to give. He could be wrong, but he didn’t think so.