“Too late, Kendrick. Now, I have to go.” I end the call and throw my cell phone on my bed.
17
Anita
It’s been four weeks since I broke up with Kendrick and I wish I could say that all is well, but it’s not. I’ve concluded that I’m nothing but a failure when it comes to men. Nothing ever works out for me. If I can’t make good choices, I might as well stop dating.
After I had fired Kendrick, we replaced him with a new guy. It was no big deal firing Kendrick; he was cool with it, and he didn’t make a scene. He just picked up the money Jackson Car Wash owed him, smiled at me and told me he’d always love me; and then he left. I haven’t heard from him since.
I didn’t break up with him and fire him because of his criminal record. That wasn’t my focus. What pissed me off is that he lied to me, and the last thing I need in my life is a liar. I’m done with liars. The last three guys I’ve been with have all lied to me. Boy, I sure can pick them.
So now I wish I could tell you I’m happy with my decision, but I’m not. I’m miserable. I’m so miserable that I’ve decided never to look for another serious relationship again. Why bother? If I need a man for sex, that’s no problem. I can always get that. But I won’t be giving my heart to him. No way. I won’t be expecting anything out of him.
If Kendrick had been on the up and up, we could have continued to strengthen our relationship. But he lied to me and I’ve learned to cut if off when it needs to be cut off.
I didn’t explain to Felicia what happened. I just told her, I ended it. I would never hear the end of it if she knew I was dating an ex-con.
18
Zach
I take a long glance at my watch with a painful sigh escaping my lips. Time is crawling by, but I’m still here.
A person serious about this would show up, but that doesn’t seem to be the case at present. I'm trying hard not to draw any conclusions just yet until things turn out certain. I look around the room once more, noting the waitress has been eyeing me just as she did when I walked in.
The day remains clear outside the small coffee shop, with the clouds drifting by without a care in the world for what goes on down below. I envy the clouds even though they’re nothing but a mass of insignificant smoke floating away in the sky. The clouds aside, my eyes make contact with the waitress, and I motion for her to come over. It seems to be what she wants, so I'm giving it to her; the attention.
“Would you like some more coffee?” The waitress asks me.
“Yeah, sure. Go ahead and fill it up.”
My name is Zach Russo, and I’m sitting here in a restaurant waiting for a guy named Kendrick to show up. Tony Bello is one of the leaders of the Chicago crew, and I work for him. I’m a bookie enforcer, and work has gotten busy lately. So we put the word out that we’re looking for help, and this Kendrick person is supposed to meet me for an interview.
But I’ve been sitting here for a half hour, and that chicken shit hasn’t shown. So I’m leaving in a few.
Whoever this Kendrick is, he can forget about getting hired. Loyalty and accountability are everything with Bello. You fuck up, and you get whacked. So let’s just say I’m doing this Kendrick a favor by leaving. He’d never last in our organization.
19
Kendrick
I was supposed to meet with one of Toni Bello’s goons today. Are there still Italian gangsters in Chicago? Yeah, Bello is one of the Chicago Mafia.
I got so down and shit that I hate to admit it, but I was thinking about becoming one of their enforcers, beating people up for money. I even had an appointment to meet with one of his people. All my financial issues would have been taken care of with the pay I could have gotten.
But I didn’t show. I’m down to less than a hundred dollars in the bank, but I didn’t show.
I’m serious about staying on the straight and narrow, and it ain’t easy. About three days after Anita dumped me, I went drinking with my homies, and we had talked about me returning to some shit, even though I dropped out of the bank robbery. But I let it go, that is until three weeks later. In a moment of weakness, with me not having any income right now, I had heard about the hit man gig, but when the day came, I blew it off.
I can do this. I can stay away from it and get back on track, even though I’m broke, even though I’m living in my mom’s house, even though I’m unemployed. I got back into my Bible and reconnected with some of the passages that helped me when I was in prison.
And I’m looking at applying to be a laborer at this temporary construction site. If I get it, I’m going to put my nose to the grindstone, save money and get into a truck driving school.
And I’m staying away from women. Women will fuck you up. I got no room in my life for fuck ups.
I think about Anita every day, but she’s gone, and I have to accept that. Ma can’t accept it. She’s ready to march on over to the car wash and give her a piece of her mind. That’s why I need to get out of this house. I can’t run my own life when I’ve got my mom looking over my shoulder and taking care of me as if I were ten years old.
20
Anita
I’m with Felicia and her mother helping Felicia pick out a wedding dress. I was flattered when Felicia asked me to come along. Felicia has a lot of friends, but she and I have become close over the past few months.
She’s been through piss before finally finding someone worth sticking with, while I’ve been through enough shit as well. We just can’t seem to function for long without each other. Besides me not providing time to meet with her often, or calling as regularly as I should, we remain as close as ever.
The preparation for the wedding has been the biggest deal for her so far, and even with my little knowledge about weddings and how they come to be, I have no other choice but to support her through it. It is a tiring venture, which involves going to stores to acquire things and making detailed plans on what to get done and what not to get done. However, I’m an organized person and planning is right up my alley. She trusts me enough with this, and even more when it comes to fashion, which is the reason we’re in this lovely shop to help pick out a wedding dress for her.
Felicia grabs a strapless dress with pearls decorating the bodice. “This one looks nice.”
“Yeah, that one is beautiful,” I say. “But how much is it? You told me you wanted to stay within the $3,000 range.”
Felicia looks at the tag. “It’s only $2,000. So we’re good. Listen, did you ever hear from Kendrick?”
“No! I told you, I broke up with him.”
“Well, I saw him the other day.”
“Oh?” I gaze at another dress, trying my best to feign interest.
“Yeah, he’s working over there at that hospital, they’re building. You got rid of a fine man; you know that?”
“Why are we talking about Kendrick, Felicia? This is your day.”
“You wish you were back with him, don’t you? Why did you break up with him anyway? I never understood that.”
“My God, Felicia. Let’s not talk about this anymore. This is about your wedding, not my ex-boyfriend.”
“I just think you’re a fool, that’s all. A good-looking, hardworking man like that can’t be all that bad. Maybe he’s just not rich enough for you.”
“No, Felicia. That’s not it.”
“Then what is it?”
“Okay, for the last time. We’re not going to talk about this. I’m going over to look at the dresses your mom is looking at. Maybe that will get your head out of my business and back to where it should be.”
“I’ll find out sooner or later. You know that, right?”
“Yes, Felicia. I’m sure if you bug me enough, you will.”
21
Anita
Do you know what happened when Felicia had told me she saw Kendrick? My heart skipped a beat. I honestly had no idea where he is, but now I do. So, I have another confession to make. I’m sitting outside the new hospital they’re building in my n
eighborhood, across the street, spying on him. I’ve got him in my sights right now. The man obviously has no idea I'm spying on him, but I got a good view, and I honestly can’t take my eyes off of him. He looks the same as the last time we saw and spent time together, only hotter. If I'm to access his body features, I will say he looks even more muscular and fit than before, if that’s even possible.
In his blue jeans and sleeveless shirt, which helps his biceps scream in alluring sight, I can’t help but gush and almost drool as I reminisce on how close I used to be to those arms. It feels crazy, but for the moment, I let myself go, and my senses drown in thoughts of the man without really realizing it.
He looks up and in my direction, but not fast enough before I cover my face with a magazine. After he looks away, I lower the magazine, and the longing inside me is impossible to ignore.
Why am I doing this? Because I’m not over him, that’s why. That’s all there is to it. I’m not over him. Just being able to gaze at him while he’s working helps, even if it means I’ve fallen to the status of a stalker. I know it’s pathetic, but it is what it is.
Maybe when I drive away, I won’t do this again. Although, the thought of driving away and leaving the scene where the man I obviously haven’t gotten over is standing there so hot and enticing, seems rather impossible for me to pull off. Don’t get me wrong, I’m determined when I want to get things done, but right now, it feels so pale and limp I can barely move my hand to start the car.
Everything within me yearns for the man, and I simply want him back even though I still feel betrayed by what he did.
You can forgive him, Anita, I tell myself, still wondering if I truly can.
It’s more difficult than it seems, especially when I’ve been with liars who always promise to change but bring the same shit they promised to quit on back into their lives. Within me, I truly hope and wish Kendrick was telling the truth about changing, but on the other hand, I still don’t want to believe it.
I feel content with looking at him right now, though, and reminisce on the crazy times we shared, while secretly hoping it could continue as it had been. I mean, the man looks too fine to ignore, and I spent such lovely moments with him. I finally realize I'm drooling over something I chose to leave, and I can’t continue in this way. I close my eyes and make up my mind one more time.
It’s time for me to leave now. I can’t sit here all day.
Oh no! He sees me. He’s looking at my car, and he’s figured out that’s it’s me. I’m sure of it. Damn it! I thought I was far away enough.
Now he’s walking over here. I could drive off, but it’s too late for that now. My indecision returns as Kendrick draws nearer. My eyes roll uncomfortably in their sockets, and a slight headache, possibly one born of shame, is set in slightly as I rub my temples.
There is nothing I can do now unless I decide to be disrespectful and drive off like a crazed person when he’s just a few feet from my car. My heart rams hard against my chest. I roll down the window.
“Anita?”
“Hi, Kendrick.”
“Hey! What are you doing here?” He leans into my driver’s side with his beautiful muscular arms. I stare into his handsome face.
“I’m . . . okay. I found out that you work here. So I just wanted to check on you to see how you’re doing.”
Kendrick is smiling. “Who told you I work here.”
“My friend Felicia told me you work here. So, how are you doing?”
“I’m doing great. How are you doing?”
“Good . . . good. I’m doing good. I guess I’ll drive off now. I wish you all the best, okay?”
“Yeah, you too.”
I pull out of the parking space. I'm doing good? That’s still the biggest lie I told myself since we broke up. Hell, I'm in no way good, and if he is as vigilant as I'm sure he is, he will see it for himself. Why would I come to see him if I was doing good? The lie rolled right out of my mouth from the tip of my tongue, but even I couldn’t believe it.
It feels like I left something valuable behind. From my rearview mirror, I can see Kendrick standing and looking at my car as I drive off, sending the temptation to turn around and go back to him. It would be like some Hollywood shit, but I'm down for anything right now, especially when my beating heart continues to ram hard against my chest.
Honestly, I have no idea what it is I'm doing, but I hope it’s for the best, because I don’t want to keep getting hurt. I want something serious and something that is going to last. I don't want a hot romance that will die down before it even begins, and that is what I perceive from Kendrick, right now, ever since I saw the ski mask and the gloves and the gun.
Let it go, Anita! I urge myself, driving faster and desperately trying to no longer look back at that fine ass man.
22
Kendrick
I’m driving over to Jackson Car Wash. I got that job working construction, and two days ago, I caught Anita spying on me across the street. No woman would do that unless she was still interested. She didn’t even try to play it off. She got caught, and she didn’t deny it. She never told me she was still interested in me. She just acted like she wanted to make sure I was all right.
So I keep a lot of my feelings inside, but I’m the happiest man alive right now. Anita doesn’t know I’m coming to the car wash. I’m done playing games. I’m going to ask her flat out if she wants to be with me or not. I’m working a legit job; I’m making money, and I’m not out there in the streets. I’ve avoided the temptation. I’m gonna find out if she’s down with that, once and for all.
23
Anita
I’m sitting here at my desk, and who do I see coming toward me but Kendrick. He is the last person I would expect to walk through my door today. He’s practically marching toward me looking determined, but handsome as hell. I’d like to keep my wits about me, though, and I know it shouldn’t strike me as odd that he’s here, but quite frankly, it does, and I am a tad bit rattled by his presence so much I'm unable not to show it in my seat.
My body trembles and I take a deep breath to calm my nerves. I’m determined to suppress my emotions and hear what the man has come to say. As I said, it shouldn’t feel strange seeing him here. I mean, I’m the one who started the move by showing up uninvited. I guess he’s just following in my footsteps.
Two days ago when I got caught spying on him, I couldn’t even hide it. Now here he comes toward me. My heart is beating a mile a minute. What does he want?
He opens the door to my office and walks inside. “Hey, Anita.”
“Hi, Kendrick, what can I do for you?”
He doesn’t answer. He just walks past me to the walk-in storage closet behind me and turns on the light in there. “Lock the door to your office and then come in here for a minute.”
“Kendrick, what are you doing?”
“Just do this for me, Anita, all right?”
I’m hesitant, but I do what he says. I lock the door to my office, hoping that my receptionist or any of my other workers don’t come looking for me, and I join Kendrick inside the storage closet.
“Close the door,” he says.
“Whatever you’re up to, you better make this quick,” I say, closing the door. “Now, why do you have me in here?”
Kendrick walks closer to me, only a few inches apart. “I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me that you don’t have feelings for me.”
“Kendrick, I’m leaving.”
“No.” He puts his arm on the door. But I’m not afraid. Not at all. His strong body does nothing but turn me on. I just look at him. He’s done playing games, and I guess I am too.
“Yes,” I say. “I still care about you.”
“Then let’s start over. I’m not with anyone, and I know you aren’t either. You’re going to start trusting me, and we’re going to make this work.”
I step away from him, feeling his aura too strong for me to handle with us standing so close to each other. His bravery and aud
acity have captured me. I don’t think I’ve ever felt swayed by a man as much as I do right now. The reality of things between us is clear to see, and the undying emotions lurking in our hearts can no longer be denied. The man loves me like hell, and I sure as fuck love him too. He came up with a fine line, and I only have to smile to acknowledge it had an impact on me.
My knees threatened to buckle, as my entire body aches to just have him with me. I long for everything about him, from his muscular biceps and body to his soft lips and the way they make me feel whenever we kiss. I struggle to get my legs to walk, while my eyes remain fixated on the fine man wanting me back in his life. He stares deeply at me with those gorgeous brown eyes, and my heart melts once more like it did on the first day we met.
You can do it, Anita; I encourage myself in slow, but certain steps to bridge the distance between us.
Then, I fall against Kendrick’s chest and kiss him passionately, grateful to be back in his strong arms.
Thank you for reading KENDRICK: A CHICAGO BAD BOY ROMANCE! Have you read the first book in the series - ALEX: A CHICAGO BAD BOY ROMANCE?
Alex Sobol has had enough. One last job for the Kocan Brotherhood, and he’s done. But when the long-time car booster with the boy next door good looks, runs into the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, before he’s completed the job, his mission to end it all comes to a screeching halt.
Irish, auburn-haired Heather Dunn is all for a little excitement, but when she meets Alex, she gets far more than she ever expected. He’s looking for a way out. She’s hoping to stay alive. His cohorts are out for blood.
Kendrick: A Chicago Bad Boy Romance Page 5