by Zara Teleg
I could feel him watching me as I worked. Officer Jones was quite handsome. It must be his not-so-charming personality that had him coming in here alone all the time.
My shift was shorter than usual. I was happy to head home, but I wished I could just beam into my apartment. I did not want to run into Kai.
Ten minutes. If I could have just gotten home ten minutes later, I would not have seen it. I would have gone about my sucky day just pining for the man who rejected me. I might have gotten over it and agreed we were drunk and could still be friends. But no, I had to come home right then.
My stomach flipped as I went up the stairs to my apartment. Then I heard it. The distinct whine of Angelica’s voice. I willed myself not to look but lost that battle really fast. My eyes were stuck on the two. I could feel the color draining from me as she kissed him.
Loss and anger grew in my gut. The nonsensible part of me wanted to go over and rip her off him. Instead, I kept climbing the stairs, fighting off the vomit that threatened to spill.
With shaky hands, I opened my door, slamming it as the anger took over. Who the hell did he think he was? He went from my bed to hers just like that? I knew last night had ended badly, but I did not expect to see him with Angelica.
I was so damn tired of being the nice girl. I remembered the night I went out with Amber. That was the most I had felt myself in my life. I liked the way it felt to let loose, to look in the mirror and see a desirable woman, not the little girl everyone thought I was.
Who I was, now that was a question I needed answers to. My fist clenched as I thought and thought some more. I pulled open the desk drawer and found the card that Gavin gave me. Inside the Get Well card, he wrote his number and a message.
Paige, if you ever need anything, I mean anything, I’m here for you always.
- Gavin
I had been considering this call for days. I pulled out my phone, took a deep breath, and dialed his number.
I took a deep breath with every ring. On the third, he answered, “Hello?”
“Um, hello? Is this Gavin?”
“Yes.”
“Hi. Uh, it’s Paige. Conti.”
“Paige? Hey, I’m surprised to hear from you. How are you?”
“Gavin, did you mean what you wrote in my card? About if I needed anything?”
“Of course, I meant it. What’s wrong? Is Juliet okay?” Of course, Juliet. Another person always worried about Juliet.
“Yes, Gavin. In fact, she just got engaged to Rage. It’s me. I have a problem.”
“Oh wow. I’m happy for her.” The words seemed forced. “Now how can I help you?”
“Are you still doing private investigating?”
“Yes, why?”
“Well, I would like to have something investigated. I don’t know where to start. I mean, I googled it, but I don’t have much information and—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down. What are you talking about?”
I swallowed down the fear. Uttering the words I was about to utter was going to make this real.
“Before I tell you, you have to promise, no matter what, you will tell no one. I want a real contract like you would give anyone else.”
“Paige, I can do that, but I have to say I don’t like where this is going. And by anyone, you mean including your sister?”
“Especially Juliet and anyone else besides those you need to work with on this. I have some money saved, just let me know the process.”
“Okay, I will send you a confidentiality contract if it will make you feel better.”
“It would.”
“Now, what am I investigating?”
I took another deep breath before blurting out, “My birth parents.”
“Paige, what do you mean?”
I spent the next half hour explaining everything to him from the blood test to the DNA.
“Jesus, Paige. You do know once you go down this rabbit hole, there is no coming back.”
“Gavin, I have never been so sure of anything. I can’t explain it. It’s almost like I always knew deep inside.”
“Well, if you really want to do this, I will send you a list of things that will help me get started.”
The fear was changing to a sense of relief and excitement. I knew I was doing the right thing.
It was time to free myself and explore the part of me I had been too afraid to acknowledge. I spent my life suppressing the feelings, the urges, scared that if they really knew me, I would disappoint my parents and perfect sister. I dressed the way they wanted, I talked the way they expected, I did what was asked of me, all the while fighting someone inside who wanted none of it. No more. I was turning a new page.
Me: Amber, you up?
Amber: Hungover as hell, but up.
Me: What are you doing tomorrow morning?
Amber: Nada
Me: You know that makeover you wanted to give me? [lipstick emoji]
Amber: Yes… [excited face emoji]
Me: Me, you, shopping?
Amber: Hell yeah - Torrentsville. I’ll pick you up at 11.
Me: See you then.
I pushed and pushed. Then I put my knee on the last bag, squeezing it down so I could tie it. I googled the closest clothing donation center. I cleaned out about eighty percent of my closet. These were Paige Conti clothes, the girl I was no more. For hours I sat with my old sewing machine, altering clothes that I saved. New crop tops, shortened shirts, tighter jeans, shorter shorts. I was shedding my skin. I needed a fresh start.
I opened the makeup kit Ivy gave me for Christmas. Sitting in front of my mirror, with a smoky-eye YouTube tutorial, I practiced until my eyes looked like they had when Amber had done them. I outlined my full lips and colored them a soft, shiny pink. I curled my lashes for the first time in my life, following with coats of mascara. I blushed, contoured, and highlighted. I heated the insanely old curling iron I had and worked each piece like the girl on YouTube, creating the perfect beachy waves that just brushed the top of my shoulders.
It was 10:45 am, and I was ready. The scooped-neck tank dipped low on my cleavage. The crystal I spent hours wrapping into a copper pendant sat snuggly between my breasts. The amethyst stone was bright against my pale skin and matched my irises. I squeezed into the jeans that Amber loaned me and traded my Vans for smokin’ killer stiletto boots. I found an old army-style jacket I got from an old college boyfriend.
I loaded the bags at my door and was ready to bring them downstairs. We were dropping them off at the donation center on our way out of town. I sprayed myself with perfume and spun in front of the mirror at the girl I barely recognized. Only, I didn’t feel like a girl, I felt like a woman. It felt right.
Opening my door, I ran the first two bags to the porch, then ran back up for the other two. Kai’s door opened, and he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw me.
“Paige?” His eyes took me in from top to bottom, lingering on my chest before making it to my face.
He called me Paige. I never knew how much I liked it when he called me Tink.
“What are you carrying down? Do you need help?” he asked, but not in his usual sweet tone, more like he was annoyed.
I didn’t answer him. I wasn’t trying to be a bitch, but it felt like my throat closed, and the words, “No, asshole, I don’t want your help,” would not come out. So I just silently struggled with the bags as he walked toward me, grabbing them from me and carrying them down the steps.
“So, you going to tell me if I’m carrying out the remains of someone evil in these heavy-ass green bags?”
“Nope.” I didn’t even thank him. I placed my sunglasses over my face and opened the door.
“Don’t act like that, Paige. Whatever is bothering you, you can say it to my face.”
Amber pulled up right in front of the building. I hauled up a bag that weighed more than I did over one shoulder and began walking to her SUV.
“Damn, you’re looking good. I see you started without me.” She ope
ned the door for me before leaning in for a hug.
She stepped back, eyeing me from top to bottom. “This is going to be fun.”
Kai leaned against a post, lighting his cigarette after he carried the other bags down. I kept ignoring him.
“What’s going to be fun?”
“Didn’t little Paige tell you?”
“No, Amber, let’s go. It’s none of his business.”
She pulled a jacket from the top of a bag. “Aww, can I keep this?”
“Yes, now let’s go. You can look all you want at the center.”
“Wait.” Kai took off his sunglasses and peered at me. “Are these all your clothes?”
Amber just nodded, a devilish smile playing on her face.
“You’re getting rid of all your clothes?” Kai looked confused.
“She’s getting a whole new look, and we are—”
I placed my hand over her mouth. “Leaving, we’re leaving.”
Amber laughed, rounding the vehicle and jumping inside. I could feel Kai’s confused gaze still on me even as we drove away.
Chapter Eleven
Kai
“What?” Rage answered, annoyed.
“Nice to talk to you too, asshole.”
“Sorry, man. I’m on a second-day hangover.”
“I just thought you might want to know that Paige went out with Amber this morning, dressed to kill, gave away all her clothes, and hasn’t been back since.”
“Kai, it’s nine o’clock at night, and you are just telling me this after the Devil’s Damned just made a move on our territory?”
“Well, I thought they’d be back sooner. I was out most of the day, and when I saw they weren’t, I started to get concerned. Then I remembered you had some kind of app on her phone to track it.”
“Let me check it out. I’ll call you back.”
A few minutes later, the phone rang.
“Torrentsville.”
“What?” My stomach lurched. Torrentsville was now Cajun Kings’ territory.
“She’s in Torrentsville, at some restaurant outside the mall. Ivy follows Amber’s Snapchat, and she posted a picture of the two of them having drinks. Man, I almost didn’t recognize her. If she’s still not back by midnight, give me another call.”
I sat and waited, having a smoke downstairs. It was after eleven when I saw the headlights. I felt like a worried parent. I booked it up the stairs and into my apartment, not wanting them to know I was waiting. I hit play on my infamous playlist to make them think I wasn’t alone.
For the next few days, Paige avoided me, but I still found myself doing nightly checks from the fire escape. She kept coming home with new clothes. One day I saw her with a Victoria’s Secret bag. Who was she? Not the girl I knew a few weeks ago. The mind game was fucking with my libido. Since our night together, I hadn’t touched another woman. Sure, I kept up appearances, letting the ladies fondle me and sit on my lap at the clubhouse, but I had no interest. It was getting ridiculous. I needed a night out. I dialed up Ledger first. He was usually up for going out.
“Hello?”
“Yo, I feel like making a trip to Heaven’s Gate. You in?”
“Considering I just lost two thousand in a game, and I’m out, fuck yeah, I could use some distraction. Hawk’s here too.”
“See if he’s up for it.”
He pulled the phone away from his ear. “Kai wants to go to Heaven’s Gate. You in?”
“What are we waiting for?” Hawk asked in the background.
The club sat just off the Interstate. It brought men from far and wide. Saturday nights it was mobbed, but it didn’t matter. The Stained Souls always had a VIP table waiting for them. Deacon Ramsey owned this place. He and his dickhead brother, Richard, owned a hell of a lot of real estate in Sugar Maple, but this place was all his. A few years back, he had some issues with some bikers who came through town and the Souls had his back. I was still not a fan of the bastard, but we had come to an arrangement. When he needs help, the Souls show up.
A bouncer the size of Rage worked the velvet rope. The three of us approached, going around the line that wrapped around the building.
“Hey, who do you bikers think you are, cutting in front?”
I looked at the little punk who was giving us lip. His friends huddled behind him, an obvious bachelor party. Hawk cracked his knuckles, turning to the boys who continued mouthing off. I slapped Hawk’s back, putting my arm around him, guiding him to where the bouncer lifted the rope for us.
“Poor bastard is getting married, only one pussy the rest of his life, don’t go and land him in the hospital on his special night.” I taunted loudly as we entered the club. Two bouncers went behind us, blocking the entrance as the boys continued yelling.
It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the purple hue of the club, which made the angels dancing on tables glow in their white lingerie and feathered wings.
“I fucking love this place. Why don’t we come here more?” Hawk’s face was all smiles as we entered the VIP area.
“‘Cause every time we do, we leave broke and blue-balled.”
“Oh yeah. I wish Deacon would lighten up. If he were more like his asshole brother, we would be getting happy endings after a dance.”
Our table had a perfect view of the whole club.
“Evening, boys. What can I get ya?”
The three of us all said at the same time, “Chyanne?”
“This isn’t going to be a problem, is it?” She batted her long, fake, glittered eyelashes and pushed out her chest.
“No, nope, uh-uh,” we all answered.
“Good. Because if you tell Colt and he gives me any lip, I’ll be after more than just what he owes me. Got it?” She winked and then took our orders.
“Did you guys notice how many women are here tonight?”
“Kai, it’s ladies’ night. Didn’t you read the sign outside?”
“No?” I just shrugged, finishing the last of my second beer.
“How can you be so good at getting things out of people and so bad at noticing the basic world around you?” Ledger was waving over the cute redhead to give him a dance.
Beer was flowing. I was kicked back, enjoying all the attention.
“C’mon, Mr. Big Bad Biker, stay till closing,” Star begged as she straddled my lap, keeping my face buried in her perfect tits.
“I’ll make it worth your wait,” she whispered in my ear.
Her body ground on mine. She spun around, her tiny G-string swallowed up in her perfect ass, which bobbed up and down in front of my face.
I heard cheers coming from the crowd. I glanced up at the stage and saw a short-haired woman trying to swing her drunk ass around the pole. The announcer had asked the ladies who had come in for ladies’ night to show off their skills for an amateur night. Another one followed, tossing her clothes off before she even got to the pole. The crowd seemed to love the amateur hour. Star grasped my chin, turning my attention back to her instead.
“You don’t need to watch them. They’re just drunk and trying to get their two-minute walk on the wild side.” Star took my hand, placing it on her chest. “Here I am, flesh and blood. All yours tonight.”
“Kai,” I heard someone call, barely.
Star had me stirring to life for the first time in a week.
“Kai,” Hawked yelled again. I could hardly hear him as the place began going crazy.
“Not now, Hawk.” I threw my head back as Star used her thighs to grip my waist, squeezing and riding me.
“Kai!” both Ledger and Hawk yelled, snapping me out of it.
“What?”
I followed his finger to the woman on stage. The place was going nuts as she flipped upside down on the pole.
“Violet insists she’s never done this before, but I don’t know, guys. Give her some love if you think she’s our winner,” the announcer called over the mic. The whistles and yells were deafening.
I watched as the petite blond flippe
d up and slid with full control back down the pole, swinging her hair. My eyes nearly popped out of my skull when she moved the hair from her face.
“Paige? What the fuck?”
“Hey!” Star yelled as I jumped to my feet.
I pushed my way closer to the stage. She was giving a bow and blowing kisses. Amber was cheering, helping her off the stage.
A hand landed on my shoulder, stopping me before I could reach her.
“Kai, what are you going to do? You can’t pull her outta here.”
“The fuck I can’t.”
“Look, she’s off the stage. You should call Rage and keep an eye on her.”
My liquor-fueled anger wasn’t allowing me to think clearly.
“Hey,” I snapped, taking off my jacket as I approached her.
Paige was giggling along with Amber. I threw the jacket over her shoulders and spun her to me.
“What the—?” Her eyes grew wide. “Kai?” She looked confused. “What do you think you’re doing?” She shrugged off the jacket and pushed it at me.
This woman made me crazy.
“Rage is going to flip when he finds out what you’re up to.”
“Kai, leave her alone. She’s in a bikini and we’re just having some fun,” Amber said.
My hand went up to silence Amber as I extended her the most lethal death glare I could.
“None of your business, Amber.”
“And this is none of your business, Kai,” she spat back.
Hawk and Ledge now flanked my sides.
“Is there a problem here?” one of the bouncers asked.
“No,” we all said simultaneously.
Flames shot from Paige’s eyes, which were now focused on Star, who draped herself on my side.
“Kai, leave me the hell alone. Go keep yourself busy with whatever you came here for. I’m none of your concern. Get it through your head.”
Star pulled on my arm. “C’mon, biker, you don’t need these amateurs. You need a veteran who is more than willing and able to satisfy you.”
“Kai, that sounds like your type—willing and able. No brains necessary.” The venomous words spewed from Paige’s mouth.