by Zara Teleg
“Whoa, Daisy.” My body began to respond even though I did not want to take her up on her offer. “I can’t.”
She began to kiss down my neck. Her hand reached for the front of my jeans.
“Your body says you can,” she said.
“Stop.” My voice was stern, causing her to jolt back.
Her tears began again as if on command. “Even you, the most notorious bachelor in Sugar Maple, is rejecting me. I thought I still meant something to you.”
“Daisy, it’s been a lot of years, and I have someone in my life who means so much to me. I can’t jeopardize that. I won’t hurt her.”
Daisy’s heels clicked on the wooden porch. She grabbed the bottle again.
“Do you remember the first night we met?” She tilted the bottle back, taking a sip. “A nasty summer storm was passing through, and I was on the side of the road. I was with Doug Jones and our car broke down.” She held the bottle up. “I can’t believe he’s a cop now. He had no idea how to jumpstart a car. You pulled up with Amber to save one of your buddies from having to call his parents while he was out on a date.” She laughed. “You teased Doug about having to walk home alone, and only you and I understood the reference you made to the song ‘Boulevard of Broken Dreams’. They looked at us like we were crazy as we belted it out.”
She began singing. Her voice pricked at my soul the same way it did that night. The beautiful melody was floating from her lips, calling to me like a siren song. My soul felt like a boulder had just been shot at it.
“Daisy, I think I better get you back to your place. Are you staying with Amber?”
“God, no.” She coughed and giggled. “I’m staying at the Starlight. That place has not changed in all these years.”
“Well, I need to get you back there,” I said. And soon too, I thought. I looked at my phone. It was 1:45 am. “Come on.” I held my hand out to her.
“But I want to keep talking. I can always let down my guard with you. You make it so easy. I miss that.”
“We’ll talk again before you leave town. When you’re sober.” I snatched the bottle. “And dressed.”
“You are no fun.” She swayed as I got her to her feet. She leaned on me the whole way to my car. I barely got her in the passenger seat.
“Do not puke in my car.”
“I can hold my liquor. You just worry about driving.” She squeezed my thigh as I turned on the engine.
Chapter Twenty
Paige
My fingers were curled around the steering wheel as if it were a life float and I was drowning. The road appeared blurry from uncontrollable tears that were flowing. My chest felt like there was a stake driven through it, and an instant migraine throbbed at my temples.
I swerved into the lot and parked crookedly. I didn’t even know if I locked my doors or turned off the engine or lights when I ran to the house. I took the stairs two at a time until I reached my apartment. My hands were shaking so bad, I had trouble getting the key into the lock. I looked around, trying to recall where I put it. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, and tried to think. I went for the junk drawer, then the top of the fridge. Nope. I slammed each kitchen drawer closed as they turned up empty. Then I remembered. I placed it in the ficus tree by the window. I lifted the pink quartz that adorned the base of the tree with the other stones and crystals. There it was, Kai’s spare key.
I flew out of my door. I steadied my hands and heard the click. The room was dark; I flicked the switch and beelined for Kai’s bedroom door. I twisted the knob, pushing the door open. I flicked on the light, and my eyes zeroed in on where I saw the box last. The edge of it was visible from under the bed. I knew if I opened it, I would be betraying his trust, but he lost that privilege when he practically carried the former love of his life into a hotel room. How could he? I wished my eyes were deceiving me when I saw Daisy in his arms. If it weren’t for that downed tree detouring me, I might have never known.
The shiny maple box scratched across the old wooden floor planks as I pulled it from under the bed. This time, I wasn’t shy about opening the clasp. I wanted to carve an X through the daisy. My hands were on fire as I went through the contents like shuffling through his memories.
There was a pack of photos of Daisy, lots of artsy-type modeling ones. On cliffs, boulders, the lake, splashing in the water, at sunrise, at sunset, each one pure perfection. Her eighteen-year-old face was full of innocence and unmarred beauty. No wonder he fell so hard. She was lean and sexy in her bikini, with blond hair shining to her waist.
One photo was stunning. It looked to be dawn; there was fog across the lake and white dew shining over bright-green grass. Daisy was standing in the meadow, wearing short jean shorts, cowboy boots, and a flowing white gauze shirt. She held out her tan arm, palm open. A fawn stretched its neck out, eating corn from her hand.
The contents, in addition to pictures, had the lyrics to Green Day’s ‘Boulevard of Broken Dreams’ handwritten beautifully. Little notes with hearts dotting I’s were rubber banded together.
I picked up a white envelope with a return address to Albright College of the Arts. The addressee, Mr. Malakai Eric Rhodes. I flipped open the flap, pulling out its contents. I scanned an acceptance letter along with a generous grant for photography and digital arts. Kai went to college? He’s a photographer? I never saw him use a camera, not even on his phone.
There was a folded piece of composition paper with Kai scrolled on the outside. From the condition of the paper, it looked as if it had been balled up before and read frequently. My gut burned as I unfolded the white sheet with the blue lines that were about to reveal secrets I wasn’t meant to know.
Dear Kai,
These words are not easy for me to write. I couldn’t face you or call you; I may not have had the strength to say them if I did. You were so excited and had all these grand ideas about us living together and building a life away from everything we knew, I didn’t want to hurt you. I do think you should pursue your dream of becoming a photographer, just not with me.
I’m so sorry. I hate myself for saying this after the magical summer we had. But I need to follow my path. I worked really hard to get into school, and you know that fashion is my dream, and I want to study in Paris next year. I love you, but I cannot risk the life I have dreamed of since I was a little girl.
If I learned anything from my parents, it’s that love doesn’t last. I saved all summer and worked every extra hour I could to make my dreams happen without anyone’s help. I’m not ready for what you’re offering. I need to be me first. I need to find out who I am before I can be a “we.” I hope you understand. Who knows, in a few years when we’re older, you and I may meet again. Our paths crossed once, maybe they will again.
Please don’t hate me. It kills me to break your heart after all you did to get that grant to get into my school. I really do hope you can make your dreams come true. Ripper and that club will only hold you to Sugar Maple, and that would be depriving the world of your gifts.
Please forgive me.
With all my love,
Forever Your Wild Daisy
More wet drops rolled down my cheeks as I read the words that had made Kai into who he had become. I felt sad. I was angry. Yet, even though she seemed like a monster, maybe I was coming between their second chance. Maybe this was all for the best. Kai was certainly distracting me from what I had set out to do—finding out who my parents really were. I had almost convinced myself to let it go after all the negative things Kai had told me about the Cajun Kings.
I wiped away my tears and carefully placed everything back in the box and slid it under the bed. My chest ached with unbearable pain.
I rounded his dresser and found the stack of tickets for the masquerade. I didn’t think he would miss two. I shoved them in my pocket and let myself out of his place, turning off the lights like I had never been there.
I texted Amber, asking if I could come to stay with her. Opening my duffel, I piled clothes, m
akeup, and shoes inside. I tucked my laptop and my most prized possessions—the letter from my mother and my bunny—into my backpack and took off down the stairs. My head pounded with each step. My eyes were swollen, and puffy red bags stared back at me in the driver’s side mirror.
When Amber answered the door, I fell into her arms and began to sob again. I couldn’t even get all the words out. I was careful with what I shared, but I needed to get some of it out. She placed a blanket around my shoulder and handed me the worst coffee I ever tasted.
“Sweetie, I’m so sorry. This is all my fault,” she said. “Why did I ever call her? I should have been happy for you. Instead, I let my lifelong obsession with Kai blur my vision. You have been such a good friend to me and forgave me even when I didn’t deserve it.” She rubbed her hand up and down my back.
“Did you text him?” she asked.
“Yes, I told him we had a girls’ night. I did not want to deal with him tonight.”
“Well, let’s get some sleep, and we will talk about it more tomorrow. I made the sofa for you.” She directed me to the puffy pink blankets and pillows that covered the sofa.
“Thanks,” I choked out, my throat felt like sandpaper was grating my vocal cords. I had no tears left to shed.
Amber handed me an ice mask. “This will help,” she said. I velcroed it around my head, smiling at her gesture.
It felt like hours before I finally fell asleep. I had no idea what time it was. Amber’s apartment was always dark, even in the day. I picked up my phone to check the time. It was dead; I had forgotten to charge it. My eyes were still swollen as I squinted to see the little orange numbers on her cable box. 11:30 blinked at me.
It looked like Amber was still asleep, so I snuck out and brought us back some real coffee and donuts. I had no appetite and only drank the coffee to help the pain meds that were attempting to ease my throbbing head.
“Morning,” Amber yawned. “I thought I smelled coffee.” She flicked on another light and grabbed her cup. “Aww…and donuts.” Amber opened the lid and chose a Boston Creme.
“So, I was hoping you would help me with something,” I asked, nervously playing with the tab on my coffee lid.
Her eyebrow arched and intrigue crossed her face. She dunked a piece of her donut; the sugar from the glaze flaked into her coffee.
“Spill,” she said, her mouth full of donut.
“Remember you said we could go out Saturday night?”
“Yes. What do you have in mind?” She popped the last bite in her mouth.
“You cannot tell ANYONE. I mean it, no one. If any of the Stained Souls found out, they would stop us.”
“You are killing me, Paige.”
I pulled the tickets from my back pocket, unfolding them and pressing them down onto the table.
She picked up the ticket, reading the words scrolled in gold.
“Holy shit, I’m in.”
“You see this? It says masquerade, so you need to make us unrecognizable. The Souls are going to be there. I don’t want to run into them. You think you can do it?”
“Hell yeah. Good thing we were planning on shopping.”
I neglected to tell Amber about the Kings and whom I would be looking for. It was better to just let her think we’re going for fun.
Amber was on my laptop, googling any info on the New Orleans club so we could plan our attire. She was thrilled at the challenge of getting us in without being recognized.
My phone was blown up by texts and voicemails from Kai. I just sent him one back.
Me: Up late with Amber, sleeping in, phone died before. Not feeling good, I’ll text you later.
I didn’t want to think about where he was texting from. I needed to avoid him as much as possible for the next two days. I wasn’t ready to confront him about seeing him with Daisy. I came up with a plan to say I had gotten food poisoning and Amber was taking care of me, and I didn’t want him to see me like this.
Kai
“Daisy, c’mon.” I opened the door to the car. She was half-out the seat, head to the side, with her eyes fighting to stay open.
“Yay. We’re here! See, I didn’t puke in the car,” she slurred.
“Do you have your room key?”
She fished around in her purse. Her arm flew in the air and she dangled the keys.
“Yes!” she declared.
“Okay.” I took the key and helped her out.
She leaned on me to stand. “Whoa, I think I’m a little dizzy.”
“You drank practically half a bottle of vodka.” I placed my arm around her back, taking most of her body weight.
I looked at the maroon key tag; 10 was fading off it. We struggled to walk the twenty yards to her door. I unlocked it, helping her into the room.
“Kai, please don’t leave. I’m not feeling very good. I’m hot, and I feel like—”
Daisy ripped off her jacket and darted to the bathroom, barely making it. She heaved the contents of her stomach, hunched over the toilet in sexy lingerie.
I started the cold water and grabbed a washcloth from the side of the sink, soaking it. I stood behind her, holding back her hair as she finished.
“I want to die,” she groaned.
I held the cool cloth to her forehead. “Daze, you’re going to be okay.”
She heaved a second time, and I held her hair again with one hand as I cracked open a window with the other. I rubbed her back.
“You should take a shower. It will help.”
“I can’t get up. The room is spinning.”
She curled into a ball on the floor of the bathroom. Her arms held her knees close to her chest. I looked around the room and saw the big fluffy robe on the back of the door.
I reached my hand into the shower, turning the handle to warm. The spray got my arm wet. Great.
My phone dinged from the other room. Damn it. I totally forgot about Paige. “I’ll be right back.”
“Don’t leave me,” she whined.
“I’m just grabbing my phone.” Relief washed over me as I read the message. Paige was staying at Amber’s. Thank God, I don’t have to rush out of here.
I texted her back and left the phone on the bed, inside my jacket. I pulled off my wet shirt and hung it on the hook on the bathroom door. The room had begun to steam up when I walked back in. Daisy was sitting up, holding her hand to her head.
“I don’t think I can stand.”
“You don’t have to. Just get undressed,” I said, turning around to give her some privacy.
“Thanks, just what I wanted to hear,” she mumbled.
I turned my head as she sat on the tile fussing with her garter straps. She had already popped the clasp to the front of her bra, her perky tits set free.
“Help! I can’t get these off.” She pulled at the black straps trying to rip them from her legs.
“Stop. I got it.” I pinched the clips open, releasing the silky material they were holding. I turned my head again when she scooted out of her panties.
“Please help me get in.”
Aww fuck.
I lifted her while trying to keep my eyes anywhere but on her body. I placed her under the running water. She knelt in the tub allowing the warm spray to pour over her exquisite body. I hung her towels and the robe I saw on the hook closest to the shower.
I stood outside her room, letting images of every ugly thing I ever saw run through my head to erase the stunning, vulnerable woman on the other side of the door. After a few minutes, which seemed like an eternity, I heard the water turn off.
The bathroom door opened, the hotel’s awful yellow light spilling into the room. Daisy’s perfect makeup was now just a few black marks streaking down her cheeks and smudges framing her bloodshot eyes. She was toweling dry her long blond hair, and her fluffy white robe was tied tightly around her waist.
“Here.” I handed her a bottle of water that I found in the mini fridge.
“Can you hand me my purse?” Her voice was scratchy from the
heaving. She pulled out a pill bottle, then dropped a few pills in her hand. She popped them in her mouth and took a long swig of water. Daisy walked to the edge of the bed, fluffing up the pillows before sitting back and closing her eyes.
“This isn’t how I imaged tonight to be.” She patted the bed, inviting me to join her. I sat next to her, kicking my boots off and leaning back. Fuck, I was exhausted. I rubbed my fingers over my eyes as I yawned.
“How did you think this would go, I would drop everything to be with you after you left me high and dry fourteen years ago?”
“Kai, I’m so sorry, but you must agree, I made the right decision for both of us.”
“Did you? What I remember is spending years getting over you. Having sex with countless women and only wishing they were you. You know what? I don’t want to talk about it. We can’t turn back time, you understand?”
“I wish I could fix this. I wish you could open your heart again. Forgive me.”
“It’s about fourteen years too late for that, and my heart is open, and it belongs to Paige.”
“Does she even know you? The real you?”
“I’m not discussing my relationship with you.”
“So, that would be a no.” She sat up, looking at me.
“You don’t know anything. She knows the man I am now; you don’t.”
“Does Ripper still tell you what you can and can’t do? Do you need his permission to be here?”
She didn’t know. I began putting my boots on.
“What are you doing? Did I strike a nerve?” Her look was smug as she grabbed my wrist, trying to stop me from leaving.
“Yeah, you did. Ripper was like a father to me. Don’t you ever speak his name again. You are not worthy.”
“Was? What do you mean?” She sat up on her knees. Concern was in her voice as she looked at me. “Kai?”