by Zara Teleg
The back door of The Pit was open. I could hear Leo and Rage talking. When Rage saw me, his face turned to stone. He clenched his fists and turned to Leo.
“You called him?” His voice was a deep growl of annoyance.
“Well, she is his girl.” Leo shrugged.
“His girl? If she were his girl, she wouldn’t be here crying, looking like she’d been through hell.”
A horrible feeling coursed through my veins. What the hell happened to Paige when she left with that asshole?
I began to walk away from Rage.
“You need to stay away from her. I knew this was going to happen.” Rage pushed my shoulder.
“Rage, this is none of your business.”
“It’s my fucking business when it affects Juliet.”
“Where is she?” I pushed back at the giant.
“Come on, let’s go.” Rage waved his hands at me. “We can finish what we started, you selfish prick.”
I began to rush him, but a scream echoed through the room.
“Stop!” Paige’s voice was a broken cry.
My Tink looked shattered. Her makeup was obviously cried off her face. She had on a Pit hoodie over what looked like nothing else. Fire filled my eyes. I felt like I was a bomb about to explode.
Did Havoc hurt her? Did he touch her?
A primal urge to rip him apart grew through my entire body.
“Tink? What happened? Why were you there? You left with him.” I stepped toward her, but she backed away.
“That’s cute. You’re concerned. Are you kidding me with those whores hanging all over you?” Her voice was full of fire.
“Tink, I don’t know who told you what, but you have it all wrong.”
“Oh, give me a break. I saw you and Daisy with my own eyes.” She balled her hands at her sides and stomped her foot.
“What?”
“I saw you at the hotel. I was routed that way because the road was closed.”
I ran my hands through my hair. She didn’t trust me at all. I threw my hands in the air before spinning and hitting a punching bag.
“You think that little of me? After everything I shared with you? I love you. I wouldn’t do that to you. I gave you my heart.” I grabbed her hand, placing it over my chest. “I was worried out of my mind when I saw you get on that bike. You broke my heart.”
“What bike?” Rage’s deep voice boomed.
“Ask her. She left with one of the Kings,” I said and began to walk away.
“What?” Rage growled at Paige.
“Are you trying to cause a war? You want to see him killed?” He pointed at me.
I spun around and looked at Paige. “Rage is right. I would have taken a bullet for you. Even though you don’t even trust me.”
“Kai, wait.” Her voice cracked.
Her words sliced through me. My heart ached, but I needed to get away. I’d made my case and ended it. I did what I had done my whole life when anything got hard—I took off. If something couldn’t be solved with my fists or my knife, it was just much easier to disappear.
I drove until I found myself pulling into the cemetery. Ripper’s voice in my head became louder with each step closer to his headstone. I remembered our conversation as clear as if he’d been standing here.
“When you know, you know,” Ripper said.
“But you said you would never settle with one woman. You said it makes a man vulnerable because it gives him something to lose.”
“You’re right, Kai, and it’s true. But I can’t explain it. When you meet her, the one, she makes you feel like you can’t breathe without her. She turns everything you ever thought upside down. It makes it easy to never want to be inside someone else.”
“Rip, you sound like a pussy,” I said, then knuckles drove into my shoulder as hard as fucking possible, knocking me three steps back.
“Ow!”
“You asked, motherfucker, and I’m trying to give it to you straight. I ain’t never thought I would care about a chick, but man, when lightning strikes, you got no choice but to be with her. Love her. Protect her with your life. Because living without her, there is nothing in the world that seems more cruel. Someday, I hope it happens to you. I know you were hurt once, but Kai, that wasn’t love. When you love, it will hurt so deep and scare the fuck out of you. You’ll know. It makes everything extreme. The love, the arguments, the making up, the sex. You’ll want to kill anyone who would hurt her. If another man touched her, God help his soul, he’s a fucking dead man.”
“You do know that sounds kind of psycho, right?”
“Just wait,” Ripper said, smiling.
I fell to my knees. “Why did you leave? Everyone still needed you.”
My nostrils burned and my throat became sore as the grief I’d swallowed five years ago came to the surface. It was too much. I wanted to rip Havoc’s head off. I wanted to run to Paige and beg on my knees for her to understand. I lost myself in her eyes the moment she opened them that awful night. Lightning did strike.
Ripper was right. And now it was all fucked up.
Why? Why did she go with him?
I pounded my fists into the ground.
“Paige, I love you,” I said. She jumped into my arms with a smile on her face and lust in her eyes. I held her tiny waist, spinning her around and kissing her lips. She wrapped her legs around me. Her hands held my face as her purple irises stared into mine.
“Kai, don’t ever let me go.”
Let me go… Let me go…
The words repeated and became lower as her angelic face faded.
“Let me go,” I groaned.
“Kai, come on, man, wake up.” One of my brothers poked at me again.
I extended my middle finger, not moving.
“How long’s he been like this?” a woman’s soft voice asked.
“Two days. He came here drunk and talking about Rip and Paige. He was a fucking wreck. I don’t know if he took some shit or what, but he’s been either drunk or passed out for two days now. I thought he would just sober up and come out of it, but when he rejected every club girl in the place, I knew I needed to call in the big guns.”
“Well, I owe him,” she said, then a small hand touched my forehead before stoking down my face. “Can you give us some space and bring me some water and a washcloth? And open those windows, please.”
“You got it. I forgot how nice it is to have you around. You should visit more. You’re still family, and Reid, he should know our family. It doesn’t mean he will grow up to be a biker.”
The high-pitched squeak of the window opening and cold air rushing in made me open my eyes. The woman before me was a blurred image of red hair and pale skin. The mattress dipped as she sat on its edge.
“Oh, Kai. Why do you do this to yourself?” She pulled my hair from my face. “You can always come to me when you need someone. It’s not going to diminish your manhood.”
My eyes opened and closed again, still not focusing. The banging in my head was like a gong.
“Jenn, please go. I’ll be fine. I reached for the whiskey bottle that was on the floor next to the bed.
“Oh no, you don’t.” She snatched it from my hands. “You have had two days to wallow in self-pity. Time to get up and face your life. Someone once told me that when I was at my lowest and couldn’t even get out of bed to care for my son. Kai, I will never forget what you did for me, for Reid. I would have never been able to pull myself out of the hole I had fallen into if it wasn’t for you.”
I finally found her eyes.
“You lost as much as I did when Rip died, but you were so strong. You never showed me anything but strength. I want to help you,” Jenn said.
I sat up and accepted the water and pills from her hand. I tipped my head back and let the icy water flow down my throat, awaking everything inside me.
Jenn opened the blinds all the way and began gathering trash and dirty clothes from the room. “This room is disgusting, and you need a shower.
” She picked up a towel and thrust it to me. “I’m going to get some coffee and food. We’re meeting back here in twenty minutes, and we’re talking whether you like it or not.”
“You’re bossy.”
“Yeah, well, I’m a mom, and moms are bossy. Now, take a fucking shower and brush your teeth. You smell like a brewery, and the smoke in here is suffocating.”
I didn’t speak to anyone. The brothers I passed on the way to the bathroom were all just staring at me. I tried to recall the last two days and if I did or said anything stupid. From the looks I got, I gathered I did. I jumped in while the water was still cold, allowing it to shock me sober. I increased it slowly to the hottest it could get. I breathed in the refreshing smell of the soap and tried to keep from throwing up. My head continued to pound even after the pain medication that Jenn gave me should have kicked in.
Jenn had coffee and several pieces of toast drowning in butter stacked on a plate. She sat in the corner, legs crossed at her ankles as she sipped her coffee and looked through the pictures that were in a pile on my dresser. She smiled, and at one point, her eyes were glassy.
“I’m surprised you keep a room here since you have your own place.” She set her cup down and came to stand next to me, looking at me in the mirror where I was tying my hair back.
“Kai, you know you have to talk to Paige, right?”
“Jenn, I love you like a sister, but you have to stay out of this. I need time to think.” I walked around the room, gathering my things and finding a nearly empty pack of cigarettes.
“Do you love her?”
Those words made me pause as I was lighting my smoke. I looked at Jenn and took a drag.
“Do you?” she asked again, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Yeah, I do.”
I blew the smoke out the window, looking into the courtyard where Colt was riding in. I looked back at Jenn. Her body stiffened, and her eyes became glassy again. She picked up a picture that was wedged in the corner of the mirror. It was faded and worn from years of getting hit by the sun.
“This man.” She tapped at Ripper’s smiling face in the photo. “I loved him more than life itself. I would have traded anything to have one more day with him. One more time to be held in his arms. One more day to feel his lips on mine. One more chance to hear his voice tell me he loved me, to feel his breath on my skin.”
She wiped at a stray tear. “Kai, life is short. If you are lucky enough to love someone, you can’t take for granted that they will be here to make up with tomorrow. You can be mad, you can argue, but you can’t get back time. So if you two love each other, don’t waste time. You need to figure it out, ‘cause once they are gone, there is no going back. I’m blessed to see Rip in Reid’s eyes. That boy is more like him every day, it scares the shit out of me. I didn’t sleep for many nights, worried I would lose him too. Then, I realized I was letting fear take away from the time we could be spending making memories. There is a lot you can’t control in life, but right now, if you love Paige as much as you appear to, you should fix this and not miss a moment.”
Jenn pushed the picture back into the corner of the mirror and sniffed. I tapped my cigarette out and came to her side, wrapping my arms around her and squeezing. She rested her head on my chest and sobbed.
“Jenn, if it had been you that Rip lost, I don’t think he would have been as brave as you. He would have lost his shit and wanted to follow you. He was so crazy about you, and then Reid came, you gave him the best life and gifts he could have ever wanted. You’re right. I do need to fix this.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Paige
Going back to my place was the last thing I wanted to do. The Pit was only a few blocks from Fluid. Somehow, my very persuasive sister talked me into spending a few days with the two of them at Ivy’s place. I felt bad for keeping her from Rage, but we agreed it would help our healing process.
It turned out they were right; girl time was just what I needed. My puffy eyes were met with face masks and fresh sliced cucumber. Juliet fed me green juice, which she believed could heal anything. We laughed until we cried and cried until there were no more tears. I bared my soul to the two women, who were both my big sisters. These two were total opposites but best friends till death. I’d always wished I had a friend like Ivy.
“Paige, you want more coffee?” Juliet held out the press as she waited for my answer.
“Alright, but, sis, I really do have to get home. I need to get back to work today, and God, I’m sure I have online orders piling up.”
“You are really going in today?” Juliet frowned.
“Yes. I’m a big girl. I’m going to have to face all of it sooner or later. I don’t know what is going to happen between Kai and me, but we can’t avoid each other forever.”
“If you ask me, I would beat the shit out of that little bitch.” Ivy blew on her fresh coat of purple nail polish.
“Aren’t yogis supposed to be all about karma and letting the Universe take care of it?”
“Of course. But in this case, bitch, I’m the Universe. And serving her karma would be my pleasure.” Her pink lips formed an evil grin. “I got your back.” She winked.
“You’re terrifying.” I laughed as I began packing my things. “Thanks for the clothes. I will wash them and get them back to you.”
“Nah, the Stained Souls tank fits your big tits better than it ever did mine.”
I looked down at the black tank that had gold words stretching wide across the fabric. It was tied just over my belly button and matched the black and gold yoga pants she loaned me. I was a mini Ivy in this getup.
“Rage should be here in five minutes.” Juliet looked at her watch before grabbing everyone’s mugs and bringing them to the sink.
“I feel really weird having him drive me home. He kinda scares me.”
“Oh, Paige, he’s all bark, trust me. He’s a big softie inside.”
“If softie means grouchy, bossy, and scary, yeah, then Rage is a softie,” I said.
A throat cleared as I finished my sentence. I turned toward the door and found Rage’s hulking body leaning in with his arms hanging on the jamb. He just shook his head at me.
“I-I’m going to the bathroom before we leave.”
I ran past him and closed the door behind me, I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks.
Dammit.
Strolling back out to the kitchen, I paused. Ivy was perched on the fire escape taking a call. Juliet sat on the counter with Rage standing between her legs. She was speaking in almost a whisper.
“Please be nice. She’s my sister and finds you terrifying.” She caressed his face. “I want you two to get to know each other.” She kissed his cheek and then his neck.
“I know her enough to know she’s trouble,” he grumbled.
It was my turn to catch him talking about me. I cleared my throat the same way he did.
“You ready?” I held up my bag and plastered a smile on my face.
The two broke apart but not before he turned around, lifting Juliet off the counter and kissing her goodbye.
“Text me after class. We’ll have lunch.” He smacked her butt.
She giggled like a teenager in love. “Okay.”
Juliet bit her lip and followed us to the door.
“Bye, Ivy. I love you!” I yelled so she could hear me outside. She waved, all her dangling bracelets catching the sun’s light as she ran her fingers through her blond hair.
The first few minutes of the ride in Rage’s ridiculously lifted truck were quiet. We both reached for the knob of the radio at the same time, trying to break the uncomfortable silence.
“Paige, I know you think I don’t like you very much, but that’s not true.” He fiddled with a loose string on the black steering wheel cover.
“Your sister made you out to be a helpless, complicated little girl who was going to need her. Only she didn’t know how much you have grown since she had been with you last.”
&n
bsp; “Thanks, I think.” I just kept looking out the window as we drove through the breathtaking views this little country town had to offer.
“Look, I was worried about Kai hurting you and then Juliet getting hurt in the process. I wasn’t happy how you cut her out, but now that I know what you were up to, I get why you did it.”
I looked at him, but he just continued looking straight ahead. “I thought I was protecting you by telling Kai to stay away and keep his hands off, but I was wrong. Kai was the one I should have been concerned with getting hurt.”
“What?” I crossed my arms, not disguising my resting bitch face.
“Now, don’t get offended. I didn’t mean it like that.” He rubbed his hand over his hair.
“I meant, I have known Kai most of my life. That boy can hardly keep it in his pants for five minutes, let alone months. I knew something was up after New Year’s. He had rejected every hot chick that came his way. I should have put it together. I honestly didn’t think, you being so young and all, that he would go there. But now I see you are not just a kid.”
“Are you just trying to insult me?”
“Look, I ain’t never seen Kai so crazy about someone. I talked to Hack and Ledger. They said he was out of his mind worried about you. He really does care about you. I hope you two work it out.”
He finally shifted his gaze from the road to me.
“I’m afraid of what he might do when he finds out about your father. He is not a fan of the Cajun Kings, and he is very protective of you. This could mean some bad shit. If you were raised in that club, just fraternizing with our club could have gotten someone hurt.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you are an MC Princess, daughter of a ranking member, a Cajun King offspring. That means we will be watching your back. The Kings have more enemies than friends. You understand that?”
We pulled onto the road where I could see our building in the distance.
“Rage, I appreciate you looking after Kai’s wellbeing, but I had no intention of hurting him. And in case you hadn’t noticed, he hurt me too.”