The War of All Wars

by J. Eric Booker

  It was only then that Baltor looked over at Trendon with confusion, as his mind was not able to interpret that “final word.”

  Reva knew exactly what that word meant as she answered with a light laugh, “Of course we do accept most credit cards, Mr. Harrn. What Nadia will also need is your international passport or a driver’s license, in order to reserve your room for you.”

  Although Baltor had no clue what a credit card or an international passport was, he continued to remain silent as he suspected the answers would soon come.

  While Trendon reached for his wallet and passport—all conveniently located in the interior pocket of his trench coat—he answered right away, “Excellent—if you would please allow me a second….”

  Interrupting Trendon from completing his answer, at that very second, was a technological gadget that had just begun to ring, sitting right next to the computer.

  After pushing a button on the gadget that caused the ringing to stop, yet caused a red light to start flashing on it, Nadia said, “Sir, I’ve got to take this phone call. Reva will help you with the rest of your transaction…thank you for your understanding.”

  Trendon nodded his head, just before setting the passport onto the desk, opening up his wallet, and pulling out a small rectangular card that had a bunch of colorful writing on it, especially the large group of numbers.

  She henceforth picked up the cordless phone, and while walking toward the exit, she answered, “Saints’ Hotel, this is Nadia—how can I help you, boss?”

  Reva was “on the ball,” as she asked, “Your credit card and passport, sir?”

  Upon hearing that, Trendon handed both objects over—Reva took them, and inspected each one in turn. Once she felt satisfied, perhaps five seconds later, she swiped the card through another machine—instantly the sounds of beeping and buzzing, as well quite a few other forms of electronic noises, began to emanate.

  Ten seconds later, the glowing-greed word “Approved” appeared on the top of the machine—in turn, a six-inch length of paper spat out a little slot located in the back of the still-whirring machine, which paper had printed numbers and letters all over it.

  Once the machine had finished making all its electronic noises, she ripped off the paper, lay it on the desk, flipped the paper around, and extended it out toward Trendon—as he had already picked up one of the pens conveniently located on the desk, he signed the bottom of the slip.

  After taking the yellow-colored bottom half, she extended out the white top half, the credit card, and the passport, while stating with a smile, “Thank you for choosing The Saints’ Hotel. By the way, where is all your luggage, good sirs?”

  While putting everything away back into his coat pocket with one hand, Trendon used his other hand to point behind him with his thumb, answering indifferently, “Oh—that’s still in the trunk of our stretched limo that’s outside in the parking loop.”

  Still smiling all the while, Reva returned, “No problem, sir. We will have at least one of our busboys assist with delivering all your luggage to your suite as soon as possible. Please feel free to use our free-internet services, as well our free 24-hour phone service, where we have 5-star chefs ready and eager to make whatever is in our hotel’s restaurant menu. We also have a wonderful selection of the best wines produced in the world, as well many imported beers, and all types of hard liquor—everything alcoholic is listed on our alcohol menu. Of course, if you would prefer to eat your meals in the restaurant, located on the 10th floor, then that is also great!”

  While pulling out two rectangular-shaped plastic cards—same size as the credit card—from a drawer inside her desk, and sliding them both forward on top of the desk, she concluded, “Finally, your penthouse suite is located on the 11th floor, of which only the busboys and cleaning staff have access to—and of course, the two of you, gentlemen. Again, I’d like to thank you for choosing The Saints’ Hotel.”

  Without waiting for a response, she raised her right hand straight up in the air and snapped her fingers twice to a busboy who happened to be passing by. She called out, “Hey Nikolai, please escort these two gentlemen up to their penthouse suite, and show them around. I will have the other busboys bring up their luggage…thank you.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” the busboy replied. Looking over at the guests, he bowed for a moment, before asking, “Sirs, follow me, please?”

  “Of course,” Trendon replied.

  The busboy led his guests toward the metallic door on the right, and once there, he slid another plastic card he had been holding in his right hand in-and-out of a little slot. He then pushed the “1” button at the very bottom, which button commenced to glow white.

  Overhead the door spanned the numbers from one to eleven—currently the number “7” glowed red.

  Six seconds later, the number “6” lit up. Nearly twenty seconds passed before “1” lit up, the doors automatically slid open, and a cubed-room big enough for ten people could be seen inside, in which the wall on the far-side consisted of a single mirror. Even before Baltor had turned around inside this room, he could already see that Reva was now checking him out with wistful eyes. Nadia, however, was nowhere to be seen anywhere.

  Still, he kept his “poker face” as he turned around inside this room, almost at the same time that Trendon and Nikolai turned around—without haste, the busboy pushed the button that read “11”.

  A second later, the doors closed just as fast as they had opened, and the room abruptly jutted around for a moment, just before it began to elevate from floor-to-floor.

  Unexpectedly, a song began playing from somewhere beyond the ceiling, a song that not only had a guitar playing, yet a slow-and-steady drum beat…perhaps ten seconds after the song had begun, some female began singing melodically right over the beat. She had a beautiful voice.

  Baltor looked up several times with scrunched-up eyes in order to figure out who in the heck was playing and singing that music, as well trying to decipher her words. However, his analytical mind could not understand a single word she had said!

  Catching “the perplexed look” on the third such occasion, Trendon breathed out a light chuckle, before using telepathy to reveal to Baltor, The music that you are hearing now was electronically recorded about three years ago, which is possible on this planet in this era and will one day be on your planet. The singer’s name is Sarah Preville, and she is singing in the language of ancient Gaelic. Beautiful, yes?

  Definitely… Baltor answered.

  Just then, the room reached the eleventh floor, not only evident by the number “11” lighting up yet the high-pitched dinging sound with the doors sliding open.

  In the next moment, a maroon painted and carpeted hallway revealed a T-intersection that went to the left and to the right—a large mirror revealed the three men staring back at themselves.

  It was then that Nikolai revealed, “Sirs—just so you both know, the staffs’ entrance is to the right, while the guests’ entrance is to the left.”

  “No problem, my good man,” Trendon said with a nod.

  The three of them exited the elevator, entered the hallway in which there was a door to the left and to the right—they made a sharp left.

  Nearly thirty seconds later, they arrived at the hallway’s end, which hallway had a dozen-or-so historical city paintings hanging on the walls. This hallway led up to a single door made of oak.

  To the right of the door, imbedded into the wall at doorknob level, there sat another card slot—the busboy slid in-and-out the card one time.

  In the next moment, an electronic-clicking sound could be heard emanating from inside the lock. As the busboy opened the door with a light push of the hand, which action revealed a white-painted hallway that traveled for only ten feet before pivoting at a ninety-degree angle to the right. He informed, “You have thirty seconds from the time you hear that clicking sound to open the door, sirs.”

  “Good to know,” Trendon said, while entering the room. Baltor followed rig
ht behind, and following at the rear of the formation was the busboy who had already closed the door behind them.

  It wasn’t until Baltor and Trendon made that right turn that they observed just how majestic the living room in this penthouse suite truly was, as the entire far wall consisted of one single piece of glass except for the glass door to the far right. Beyond the window sat a large rooftop that contained not only a bunch of pool-oriented furniture and a large grill for cooking food, yet an Olympic-sized underground pool. Beyond the roof was the beautiful city of St. Petersburg, where they could see dozens of unusual-looking skyscrapers off in the distance.

  As for the regal furniture inside the living room itself—consisting of four sand-colored, leather couches, two lazy-boy recliners, and six coffee tables—they all pointed toward the 60-inch-yet-paper-thin television mounted onto the dark-brown bricked wall on the left side of the room.

  Located on the right quadrant of the room, in the very middle, there sat an empty underground spa big enough for six people—beyond that spa and hanging on the bricked wall, there was a beautiful oil painting—forty feet in length by twenty-five feet tall. On both sides of the painting, there stood a closed, mahogany door.

  While they gazed all about, Nikolai explained like a showman, “The door to the left and to the right are the guest bedrooms, in which the left door is the master bedroom, and possesses an equally splendid view of St. Petersburg as does this room. The door in the middle leads to ‘the entertainment room,’ and the door to the right leads into the other bedroom, in which I’m about to show the two of you everything in turn. If you two gentlemen will please follow me?”

  With that, he made his way for the middle door. After opening it, and politely gesturing for his two guests to pass through first—which they did—he then briefed, “As you can see, we have plenty of entertainment for you to choose from in this one-thousand-square-foot room. Not only from all the various tables you see like billiards, air hockey, and ping pong…yet to the latest 3-D video game system, in which we have fifty different multi-player games to choose. These games can be either viewed through the one-hundred-square-inch television screen, and/or even through the 3-D goggles we have conveniently located next to each of the four players’ seats…”

  After giving a short pause so they could digest all that info, he added, “There is a telephone located on that table right over there, as well the food menu and the alcohol menu. If you have any questions about how to operate any of this equipment, or would like to order food and/or drinks, please give our operators a phone call by pressing zero, and we will send someone right up to assist you. Finally, there are two other doors inside this room—the first is located right there and leads into the staff hallway, and the second door right over there leads into the entertaining bathroom, in which there is a bathtub, a shower, and another spa in there built for four…understand everything I’ve said so far, gentlemen?”

  “Yes,” Trendon said. Baltor nodded his head, but said not a word.

  “Please, follow me,” Nikolai said with a nod of his head. With that, he led them to the master bedroom, whereupon he opened the door and flipped on the light switch.

  Inside this incredible room—equally as large as the living room—two of these walls had been made of tinted glass, revealing more of the city outside. Hanging on the other two walls—made of darkly stained wood—there were not only a wide assortment of paintings and mirrors, yet animal furs. The floors were made of polished wood, but a large Persian rug covered most of that floor.

  Regarding the majestic-looking furniture, there were several navy-blue with gold trimming couches, as well quite matching tables and chairs, which had been spread about the room. In the middle of it all, there sat a matching sultan-sized bed—on the near side of the bed, there stood a three-foot tall table. On it happened to be an alarm clock, a lamp, two menus, an illuminated alarm clock that revealed 11:05 p.m., and another telephone.

  Safely distanced away on the far side of the room lay an unlit fireplace, which held a small pile of chopped wood stacked in the center, as well a three-times-larger pile sitting to the right side. One couch, two chairs, and two coffee tables faced the fireplace. Lying on the floor in between all of this furniture was a large black bear fur, with head included!

  Perhaps ten seconds after having entered the bedroom, Nikolai shrugged his left shoulder before saying, “There’s not much to say about this room, as it clearly speaks for itself—but I do need to mention that there is a phone located just next to the bed, as well our menus. Of course, if you need any assistance with anything, please feel free to call.”

  “Thank you,” both Trendon and Baltor said, one after the other.

  “Follow me, gentlemen, and I will show you the final bedroom?” Nikolai asked, just before gesturing for the men to head back for the living room first—they did.

  Upon exiting the room, the busboy flipped the light switch before shutting the door behind him. As the three walked toward the other bedroom, they all heard someone close some unseen door, from somewhere on the far side of the entertainment room.

  The busboy said, “Don’t worry about that noise—that is just the other busboys bringing in your luggage, sirs. They know where to wait until I am done with my tour, and you are ready to tell them where to put your luggage.”

  By this time, he had reached the other bedroom door, opened it, flipped the switch next to the door, and gestured with his free hand for his guests to enter first—they did.

  After entering, Nikolai briefed, “As you can see, this room is a duplicate to the master bedroom, except for the fact that there is just one wall that allows you to view St. Petersburg and not two—and the bed is only a king-sized bed…yes?”

  “Yes,” they answered.

  “Please follow me back to the living room, sirs?”

  After they had all exited the room, the busboy flipped the switch and closed the door—without moving another inch, he pointed his index finger up into the air before saying, “Oh…there is one more important thing I should mention, sirs.”

  Baltor was the first to turn around and ask, “Yes?”

  “You don’t have to worry about the sun’s rays directly coming through any of the windows at any time in either bedroom, unless you want them to—for, located in the very middle of the headboard on each bed is a black button. If you push the button once, a metallic wall will automatically open or close, not unlike a garage door…okay?”

  “Okay,” both men answered. Upon hearing that, Nikolai began walking for the middle door, before asking, “Please now follow me back to the entertainment room, so that we can meet up with the other busboys and get your luggage dispersed accordingly?”

  “Of course,” Trendon answered.

  After the three had reentered this room, they observed two busboys standing in the middle and in the position of attention—resting in between them was a cart-on-wheels, which carried two different sets of matching suitcases—three brown and three black.

  Without any haste, Trendon pointed to the busboy on the far left, and said, “Young man, the brown suitcases goes in my room, which is the master bedroom—the black suitcases go in the other room. Understand?”

  “Yes sir,” that busboy answered, just before he began to push the cart toward the door leading toward the living room—the other busboy hurried on over to that door, held it open until the first busboy passed on by, and then shut it behind him.

  All the while looking around and admiring the room, Trendon asked, “Is there anything else we need to know about our stay here at your hotel?”

  “Not at the hotel, sir,” Nikolai answered. “But if you’re interested in sightseeing the city, or any of our wonderful country of Russia, we have a bunch of pamphlets, brochures, tours, and maps…all that you could possible want or need is located down in the lobby near the front entrance.”

  After looking over at the busboy, Trendon answered with a nod, “Thanks.”

  Just then, the
two other busboys entered the room. The one on the left said, “Sirs, your luggage is all neatly stacked near the closet doors.”

  “Excellent,” Trendon replied. “Thank you.”

  After bowing, both busboys quietly exited out of the servants’ entrance—once again it was just Baltor, Trendon, and Nikolai.

  It was then that Nikolai asked, “Will there be anything else, good sirs?”

  “No, you did a perfect job—thank you,” Trendon said while handing over a crisp piece of paper with the number “100” on it—of course Baltor observed a bunch of other words, letters, or smaller numbers written on it, but it was that larger-than-the-rest number that grabbed his attention.

  “Thank you very much, good sir,” Nikolai said with a wide smile, “and again, I hope your stay here at The Saints’ Hotel is a fabulous one!”

  Trendon smiled this time—in the next moment, the busboy turned around and headed out the servants’ exit, before closing the door behind him.

  Once they were alone, Trendon stretched out his arms high into the skies, before stating, “I’m exhausted!”

  “Wow…I never thought it possible that my master would ever be exhausted,” Baltor replied with a hint of sarcasm.

  “Well,” Trendon sighed, “Wait until you do your first interstellar voyage across half of the universe…on my first trip, I slept an entire year, I kid you not.”

  “Well, sir,” Baltor said with a chuckle, “I’m sure I’ve got plenty to do to keep me occupied, just in this here suite alone! I’ll be fine…”

  Trendon pulled out a wallet and a passport from the right side of his coat pocket, before handing both objects over to Baltor—meanwhile, he revealed, “This here is called a wallet, which will normally go inside your coat pocket over your heart, but if you’re not wearing a coat, wear it in your right-rear pants pocket. Inside this wallet are three plastic cards. One is the room key, in case you decide you want to go anywhere…but make sure you’re back in one week’s time. The second is your driver’s license. The final card is called a debit card, which is another form of money that is usable just about everywhere—there is a grand total of $5,000,000 on it. Finally, I have placed not only the list in your wallet, yet ten thousand rubles in cash—Russian currency. Have fun, my apprentice…”