I headed straight for Grady’s office the next morning. I was living off adrenaline. I had barely slept the past couple of days. It showed. Any associates I ran into gave me sideways glances. I was a mess.
I didn’t bother knocking on Grady’s door. He was on the phone when I walked in, but he, too, noticed my pathetic state and ended the phone call immediately.
“Kallie Rae, you look like you need another day at home.”
I lost it. Big, fat tears burst from my eyes.
Big brother came to the rescue. He jumped up and ran toward me, wrapping me up in his arms. “What’s wrong?”
“Everything.”
“You’re going to have to be a little more specific.”
I started with Harrison and the awful way I pushed him out of my life once and for all. Then I told him about the parole hearing. He swore and let me go. “I’ll get a hold of the parole board. Then I’ll call our dear mother and give her a piece of my mind.”
“Give her a piece for me, too.”
He placed his hand on my shoulder. “Kallie, you need to tell Harrison the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God.”
“Some divine help would be useful. But what good would it do? He is who he is. That’s not going to change.”
“How do you know? You never gave him the chance.”
“He hates me now. He thinks I’m some prima donna.”
“Then he’s a fool. Anyone who truly knows you would never believe it.”
“I guess that’s telling. Anyway, let me know what you find out. I have a mountain of work to tackle.”
“Let’s do lunch.”
I nodded and walked away.
I threw myself into my work. It was all I had left. I finished a brief and made some phone calls. I loved arguing with the opposing side’s attorneys. And today, I did so with vehemence. Watch out world.
Around lunch time, my office phone rang. “Ms. Clemmons, Harrison Monroe is here to see you.”
I dropped the receiver, only to pick it up quickly.
“Ms. Clemmons, are you all right? Should I send him back?”
“Yes, Trudy. Thank you.”
Panic overtook me. Why was he here and what was I going to say to him? I stood up and then sat back down. I smoothed out my blouse and skirt. I applied lip gloss—like that would help. Then I paused. There were male voices outside my door. Familiar voices. I crept toward the door.
“Think carefully before going in there. You don’t have any idea what Kallie has been through. I thought you were at least smart enough to know she was scared, that she needed someone to be patient with her. You should know that no one compares to her kindness and thoughtfulness. How dare you accuse her of being some money-grubbing vixen.”
He didn’t actually accuse me of that last part.
“You’re right,” Harrison replied. “I screwed up.”
“You’re damn right, you did. So don’t walk through that door unless you’re willing to do whatever’s best for Kallie, even if that means walking away . . . or giving up your job.”
Why would he say that?
“I would do anything for her. All she had to do was ask.”
I threw open the door.
Both men turned toward me, surprised. My brother’s face was red with anger and there Harrison stood in his blue hero suit. His eyes were much softer than the last time I saw him.
“Kallie.”
“I’ll leave you two alone.” Grady stalked off.
I would have to tell him later how much I loved and appreciated him.
“Can I come in?” Harrison stepped toward me.
I nodded and let him in before shutting the door behind us.
He didn’t waste a moment. He took me in his arms and held me. He stroked and kissed my hair. “I’m sorry I mistook what you were trying to tell me and I’m sorry about your father. Why didn’t you tell me?”
I bathed his shoulder in my tears. “I didn’t want you to try and convince me that we should try in spite of it. I was afraid I would have given in to you; I couldn’t and can’t live in constant fear that you might go to work and never come home.”
“Honey, that’s true with any job. I could die in a car accident.”
“The odds are against you.”
He pulled away and gazed into my eyes. “What do you think the odds were of me changing my mind, had you told me five years ago?”
“Not good.”
He leaned his forehead against mine. “Let me tell you how wrong you are, Kallie Clemmons. I’ve known since that first study group that I had never met your equal. I watched how passionate you were about every aspect of your life. How you helped the others in our group. How you always thought of others before yourself. You had me falling in love and you didn’t even know it. You were oblivious of any and all attempts I made to get you alone, until I spelled it out for you.” He laughed. “I was getting desperate toward the middle of the semester, but I knew you were the woman for me and I had to do whatever it took. And just when I thought I had succeeded, you disappeared. You don’t know how many times I thought about tracking you down at Tulane.”
“I’m sorry, but when you told me you were headed to the police academy, I panicked. And I didn’t want you to change your mind because of me.”
He brushed my lips. “Kallie, I wish you would have given me the chance to tell you that there was no other choice for me but you. I still feel that way. When you came crashing back into my life,” I hiccoughed out a laugh before he continued, “I vowed to do whatever I could to win you over. I’m sorry I’ve done a poor job of it. I got ahead of myself, but I was anxious to call you mine again and I pushed you. I’m sorry.”
“Please don’t apologize. This is all my fault. I should have been more honest with you. Like I’m going to be now. I don’t know how we can be together. I know you say you’re willing to walk away from a job you love, but I don’t see that turning out well for us. And after what my family has been through, I just don’t know if I could ever get over the risks of being with a man in blue.”
He held me tighter. I shook there in his arms.
“Maybe I’ve been going about this all wrong,” he whispered in my ear. “Kallie, I’m not going anywhere, but you need to decide what’s best—what’s right for you and for us. Take all the time you need. I love you. I’m going to do like your brother asked and walk away . . . for now.”
Stunned, I pulled away. Hurt and pleading were written in his eyes. He leaned in and lightly skimmed my lips. “You know how to find me. But I understand if you choose not to.” And without another word, he walked away.
I stood there in shock. I wanted to run away and run after him. Instead, I stood there and let tears stream down my face until Grady walked in and, like always, did his best to take care of me. He wrapped me up and let me soak his suit with my tears. He didn’t say a word and I loved him for it.
I went home early and did some soul searching.
I never wanted to be with anyone more in my life. But I think even he knew that when one partner gives up everything to be with the other, it never works out. It’s a recipe for disaster. That’s how love turns to bitterness and how I end up representing people in divorce proceedings. But how did I reconcile being with a police officer? Even now, the pit in my stomach churned at the thought.
It seemed like an impossible situation.
Chapter Ten
A week had gone by since Harrison walked out of my office, but not out of my life. I had received a few texts from him. They were simple one-liners like, I’m here if you need to talk and I’m thinking about you.
He was all I thought about. I missed him more than I ever thought possible, which got me thinking. Lots and lots of thinking. So much, I was ready to talk to Harrison, ready to quit running away from him, ready to face the truth.
But I wasn’t ready for what I heard on the way back to the office from lunch Thursday afternoon. There was a car chase that led to a hostage situati
on in an abandoned building a few miles away from where I was driving. The radio announcer was giving a play by play, and then he said the words I dreaded, “The SWAT team has arrived.” I prayed with all I had that Harrison wasn’t one of them, but I called his phone and it went straight to voicemail. I didn’t know who else I could contact. I couldn’t just call the station and ask. I wasn’t his family. I wasn’t even his girlfriend, though I wanted to be more than anything.
How I got back to work, I don’t know. It was a blur of panic. I was lucky I wasn’t in another accident. But then it hit me. I had Officer Jackson’s card in my wallet. He had given it to me the day of the accident in case I had any questions. With shaky hands, I pulled out the small card and dialed. It rang twice before he answered, but it seemed like an eternity.
“Officer Jackson, this is Kallie Clemmons. I know I may not be someone you want to speak to, but can you please tell me if Harrison is at the scene of the hostage situation going on near Grove Avenue?”
All I could hear on his end was breathing for a moment. “You know that’s not really information we’re supposed to be giving out.”
“I know, but please.”
“He’s there.”
I wept over the phone. I didn’t know why I didn’t just hang up.
“Kallie, I know he would want me to tell you to trust him. He’ll be okay. He won’t let anything get in the way of the future he plans to have with you.”
“We both know there are no sure promises in this situation.”
“Keep faith. That’s all we can do.”
I hung up the phone. “Be safe,” I whispered to no one but myself.
I ran into the office and headed straight for Grady’s suite, which was decked out and included a TV. I wanted to see if the news was reporting the situation. And sure enough, they were. Helicopters and police cars were swarming the abandoned building.
Grady put his arm around my shoulder as the news captivated me. I felt like I wanted to vomit. “What if something happens to him?”
“You can’t think like that.” He rubbed my arm.
By this time, Mason had joined us. Grady filled him in on my life.
All afternoon, we sat on Grady’s couch, glued to the screen. Both rocks in my life held my hands and tried to speak words of comfort, but I wouldn’t feel better until I knew Harrison was safe and back in my arms. I couldn’t think about his words, or a future with him until this was all over. The news would flash back and forth to other stories. Each time I became increasingly irritated. I didn’t care that there wasn’t anything new to report. They knew there was one hostage and no shots had been fired. Their hostage negotiator was on the scene. I desperately wanted a peaceful end.
“I’ll bring in some food, darlin’,” Mason offered around dinner time.
“I can’t eat anything. Grady, you should go home to Hank and Alison.”
“They understand that I need to be here with you.”
I had the best men in my life. And women. Grandma couldn’t be left out. She joined our vigil in Grady’s office.
I kept hoping the aerial footage would show Harrison so I would know he was all right, but I knew that wasn’t going to happen. It’s not like I could tell who was who in all their ballistic gear. Around six in the evening, the situation took a drastic turn. Shots were fired and an explosive device was hurled out of the building. Several officers began to move on the ground and chaos ensued. I held my breath. They switched back to the newsroom where they were getting updates from the scene. They reported that there were officers injured. No names, obviously, had been released.
My senses numbed. I silently prayed it wasn’t him. My grandparents and Grady all reached for me, but they knew better than to say it wasn’t him. It seemed like an eternity more that we kept watching and waiting. An hour later, the situation was resolved. The shooter was dead and the hostage was saved, but still no word about the injured officers.
That was, until my phone rang. “Kallie, this is Officer Jackson.” I dropped the phone.
~*~
With Harrison’s family out of town, Officer Jackson made special arrangements for me to be allowed in his hospital room. He must have told the hospital staff that we were engaged. One of the nurses referred to me as his fiancée. It was a title I wouldn’t mind. His brothers and sisters in blue waited outside his door. The surgeon said he would fully recover from the flesh wound in his arm, but everyone was anxious to see for themselves.
I held his hand, waiting patiently for him to wake up. I could tell he was trying. He was agitated. I kept staring at his bandaged arm and thinking about us. Thinking about last week in my office when he said he loved me. When he cared about me enough to walk away. It all spoke volumes to me. It made me wonder if I was in love with him. I hadn’t ever given myself permission to be in love with him, or any man for that matter. I had let other things get in the way of that. Including fear. But now I feared something even more.
Harrison’s eyes fluttered open. He smiled and his eyes closed again.
“Hey there.” I rubbed his hand.
“Please tell me I’m not dreaming.”
I stood up, leaned over, and kissed his lips. “Is that real enough for you?”
“If it is a dream, I don’t want to wake up from it.”
I sat back down and took his hand. “This is no dream.”
He opened his eyes, a little longer this time. “You are my dream.”
Tears welled up in my eyes. “I’m so happy you’re okay.”
He expended all his energy and pulled my hand toward his lips where he kissed it gently. “I love you, Kallie.”
“I had a feeling. What are we going to do about that?”
He closed his tired eyes. “I have a plan.”
“I can’t wait to hear it, but for now, you need to rest.”
He nodded and drifted back to sleep with a smile on his face.
I stayed with him through the night, curled up on a chair watching him. I wished I could curl up next to him, I could use the comfort of his arms. Nurses were in and out. He fidgeted throughout the night, but didn’t wake up until the early dawn of day. I had fallen asleep with my head on his bed.
He stroked my hair. “You’re still here.”
My head popped up. “I hope you don’t mind.” I smiled. I’m sure I was a sight.
He tried to sit up. He groaned at the attempt.
“Let me raise your bed.”
“There’s a thought, counselor.”
I pushed the controls on his bed so he was upright.
“Come sit by me.” He grinned.
He didn’t need to ask me twice. I kicked off my shoes and crawled into bed with him. He put his uninjured left arm around me, with IV and all attached. I snuggled against him. “This is probably against the rules.”
“No one will blame me for asking a beautiful woman to join me in bed.”
“Nice. By the way, I’m pretty sure they think I’m your fiancée, in case anyone asks.”
“I accept.”
I gently smacked his hard chest. “I’m not that easy.”
He kissed my head. “Don’t worry, my plan is long term.”
I snuggled closer.
“I’ll resign from the force.”
I sighed heavily while outlining circles on his chest with my finger.
“That bothers you.”
“I love that you would. And most of me wants you to, the selfish part of me.”
“You are the least selfish person I know, even if you do belong to a country club.”
I laughed softly. “Harrison.”
“Yeah?”
“While I watched you through the night and thought about this last week apart, I reprimanded myself for all the time I wasted separated from you. We could have been together these past five years, but my fear prevented it. But now more than anything I don’t want to be without you, even if our time together is short. Any time together would be worth it. The only tragedy would be i
f we didn’t try.”
He rubbed my back. “We’ll figure it out together.”
“Promise?”
“This isn’t a hit and run kind of love.”
“I wouldn’t mind running into you, though.”
He groaned. “Just wait until I get out of this hospital bed.”
I couldn’t wait.
Epilogue
“You do good work.” I rested my feet on the coffee table and admired my painted toenails.
Harrison grinned, leaned down, and kissed my expanding midsection. “You do, too.”
“Well, I had a little help there.”
“We definitely do good work together.” He kept his hand resting on my abdomen.
Our daughter kicked in response. “I think she agrees.”
“The question is, will she be a world class lawyer like her mom, or a skillful investigator like her dad?”
“She’s definitely going to be an attorney. Her nursery next to my office can easily be converted to an office when she’s ready.”
Harrison laughed. “By the time she’s old enough, it will be Clemmons, Monroe, and Monroe.” My grandfather and great-uncle were planning on retiring in the next couple of years.
“Assuming she keeps our last name.”
“Of course she will, because she’s never dating.”
“Uh-huh. Good luck with that, Dad.”
He turned toward me with a sexy grin. “I know how men think, and how to not leave behind any evidence.”
“Is that so? And how do men think?”
He took that as his invitation to kiss me deeply. Even after three years of marriage, he still got to me. My pulse increased and butterflies erupted in my stomach. When I had been thoroughly kissed, I rested my head against his chest. “Tell me about your day.” I could ask that now without too much trepidation. I still feared, but once he became an investigator, I quelled my deepest fears. And I had a fantastic therapist.
“I finally figured out how the Federal First Bank robber cracked the code to the vault safe. I knew he was too stupid to figure it out on his own.”
“So how did he do it?”
“He was having an affair with the bank president.”
Hit and Run Love Page 7