“Are you guys hungry?” Adrianne asked. Her mom had dropped off a couple pans of lasagna with the thought that they might be hungry at the end of their trip.
Alex shook his head, looking more tired than anything else. “We stopped for supper, so I’m okay.”
As Adrianne looked at the three of them, she could see that they all looked tired. Was that all that was causing the tension? Or was there something else going on?
“Since we're going to hold off on unloading the van for tonight, I think I’m going to go take a bath and head to bed,” Rebecca said.
“Go on upstairs.” Alex slid his arm around her waist and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I’ll bring in what we need for the night.”
After Rebecca had said good night, Alex disappeared back outside, and Connor followed him. While the three adults appeared to be drained from the trip, Jordan seemed to be anything but. It was as if being cooped up in a vehicle all day had left him with energy to burn.
“The work on the room and your bathroom in the basement is done,” Adrianne told him. “So I think that’s where you’ll be spending the night tonight. Melanie and I got the apartment ready for your uncle.”
Jordan excitedly passed on the news when Alex came back in pulling a couple suitcases.
“That sounds good, buddy. Why don’t you go grab your bag and take it on down there now,” Alex suggested. He turned as Connor appeared in the front doorway. “You can take your stuff up to the apartment. Adrianne said it’s all ready for you.”
Connor nodded. “Thanks. I guess I’ll talk to you guys tomorrow.”
When it was just the two of them, Adrianne laid a hand on Alex’s arm. “Is everything okay?”
Alex sighed and gave a slight shake of his head. “Connor told Rebecca on the trip back here that he plans to return to Chicago.”
“For good? I thought he was planning to stay here in the Twin Cities.” Adrianne was confused when Alex’s revelation didn’t flood her with relief. She should have been glad that Connor wasn’t going to be a daily presence in her life.
“Yeah. I thought that was the plan and so did Rebecca.” Alex shrugged. “But it seems that he feels that now that Rebecca has me, she doesn’t need him.”
Adrianne pressed a hand to her stomach, suddenly feeling sick at the idea that perhaps Connor was doing this for her sake, and now Rebecca was going to be the one to suffer. Maybe she needed to have another conversation with him. To let him know that she would be okay with him staying in the apartment. After all, if she was going to move into a place of her own, she wouldn’t have to deal with him on a daily basis anymore. And that would even apply to work since it seemed that he would be working at BlackThorpe as a consultant and not a full-time employee.
“I’m beat,” Alex said as he reached for the handles of the suitcases. “We went flat out the whole time we were there trying to get everything packed up and ready for them to list the house. I’m going to call it a night.”
Jordan came into the house just as Alex reached the bottom of the stairs. “So I can just go take my stuff downstairs now?”
“Everything’s ready for you,” Adrianne said. Rebecca had ordered things for the room before she left, so all Adrianne and Melanie had had to do was set it up when the items arrived.
Jordan came to say good night to her and Alex before heading downstairs to his new space. Once she was left alone in the kitchen, it didn’t take Adrianne long to realize she needed to speak with Connor. Preferably sooner rather than later. Before he made any major decisions.Before she had any time to think about her decision and change her mind.
Finding it rather hard to believe that she was going to ask the man who’d made her life so horrible to stay around, Adrianne walked out the front door before she could talk herself out of it. She told herself that this was the right thing to do for Jordan and Rebecca.
Wishing she’d grabbed her jacket and not just her boots, Adrianne wrapped her arms around herself as she hurried across the driveway. By the time she got to the top of the stairs, Adrianne was questioning her sanity on several levels. But unwilling to let nerves get the better of her, she reached out and rapped loudly on the door to the apartment. Thankfully, it didn’t take too long for Connor to answer the door, though part of her wished he’d at least taken the time to pull a shirt on over his tank top.
“Adrianne?” Connor’s eyes widened when he spotted her, but he recovered quickly from his surprise and stepped back to allow her into the apartment.
Adrianne tried to look everywhere but at where his sleeveless shirt revealed muscled shoulders and arms and at least one tattoo. As if sensing her discomfort, Connor asked her to wait a minute and disappeared into the bedroom. When he reappeared a minute later, he had on a sweatshirt.
“What can I do for you?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest and keeping his distance from her.
Adrianne shifted her weight from one foot to the other and tried to corral her thoughts. She wanted to remind herself why she disliked Connor so much, hoping it would distract her from the physical attraction she felt for him. But then she needed to put aside that dislike in order to do what she had to do for the sake of her new sister-in-law and nephew.
“Alex told me that you’re thinking of staying in Chicago instead of moving here.”
Connor’s brows drew together, and he stared at her for a moment before nodding. She waited for him to give some sort of explanation, but he didn’t. It would’ve been easier if he had confirmed the reason why he was making that decision. Maybe it really had absolutely nothing to do with her. After all, why would he take her feelings into consideration now?
“Are you doing that because of what happened between us?” As soon as she put the question out there, Adrianne wished she could pull it back again. Maybe it really was presumptuous of her to assume that he would ever make a decision based on her.
Connor didn’t answer right away, but this time, taking a page out of Connor’s book, Adrianne didn’t say anything further while she waited for him to reply. The silence was all kinds of awkward, and it took everything within her to not turn around and grab the doorknob to let herself out. But she stayed strong and waited, knowing that it was the least that she could do for Rebecca and Jordan.
“That’s definitely part of it,” Connor finally said, his voice low.
Once more Adrianne waited for him to continue, but yet again that seemed to be all he was interested in saying. Having that confirmation, however, meant that she could say what she’d came to say and then leave knowing that at least she’d done what she could.
“I just wanted to let you know that I’m fine with you staying here. I’m actually in the process of looking for a place of my own anyway. If you do want to stay here to be close to Rebecca and Jordan, just know that it’s okay with me.”
Rather than hanging around waiting for some kind of response from the man, Adrianne turned and opened the door, quickly stepping out onto the landing. She pulled the door shut behind her then hurried down the stairs. If she’d thought that Connor might try to stop her, she’d have been wrong. Once she reached the door to the main house, she glanced over her shoulder toward the apartment, but it was just as she’d left it.
Hoping she’d done the right thing, Adrianne grabbed her laptop off the counter and hurried up the stairs to her rooms. Now it was more important than ever that she find her own place, but she really hoped that she wouldn’t have to compromise her dreams in order to make that happen quickly.
6
Connor stared at the closed door, still in shock over Adrianne’s visit. Seeing her there when he’d opened the door had robbed him of his speech. And uncertainty over the purpose of her presence had kept him that way. He hadn’t been sure what she’d wanted to hear from him, so he’d figured that less was more.
Plus, she, more than anyone else, could render him wary and nervous. He may have been confident in every other area of his life, but when it came to Adrianne, all of that
was stripped away. He’d already inflicted so much hurt on her that any time he had the opportunity to interact with her, he was always worried about saying or doing the wrong thing.
And as if her appearance on his doorstep wasn’t enough, what she’d had to say had shocked him further. He’d assumed she’d be happy to hear that he wasn’t putting down roots anywhere in her vicinity, but instead, she’d told him that she was okay with it. He didn’t doubt for a minute that her concession had everything to do with her brother. His decision to head back to Chicago once he picked up his vehicle had made Rebecca very unhappy. He hadn’t even told Jordan about his decision, but he anticipated a similar reaction from his nephew.
Connor turned away from the door and returned to the bedroom, sinking down onto the bed to stretch out. With his hands behind his head, he stared up at the ceiling and tried to figure out what to do with this latest twist. Was Adrianne really okay with his presence? Or was she just saying that to make her brother happy?
When he told Rebecca of his decision, she’d broken down crying in the vehicle beside him. He’d asked her to ride along with him while Jordan spent some time with Alex. In reality, he hadn’t anticipated how upset she would be at the news. He’d assumed that Alex would more than make up for whatever hole his absence would leave in her life. Her reaction had left him in knots, and when they’d switched cars again a short time later, she’d obviously clued Alex in on his plans because when they’d stop for supper, the man had looked as unhappy as Rebecca.
Connor let out a long sigh. He really felt like he was messing up on several different fronts. He’d as good as agreed to consult for BlackThorpe but hadn’t spoken to Alex directly about his change of plans and how that would impact working for him. Working as a consultant, he could just fly to Minneapolis whenever he was needed. Or they could utilize something like Skype if it didn’t work for him to fly from Chicago.
At any other time, in any other situation, he would absolutely have put Rebecca’s needs first. But because he’d messed up so badly with Adrianne in the past, Connor felt that he owed her something as well. It was just horribly unfortunate that to make things easier for Adrianne, he had to upset Rebecca.
But if Adrianne was telling the truth and she really didn’t have a problem with him sticking around, then maybe he could still make Rebecca happy. He really did want that. And it would definitely be less of a hassle since he’d had most of his stuff shipped to the Twin Cities already. Having to turn around and ship it back to Chicago would be a bit of a pain, but he’d been willing to do that to make life easier for Adrianne.
Connor decided he’d sleep on it. In his previous job, he was used to making snap judgments. He was able to absorb information and make a decision quickly. There had been many times that his life had depended on his ability to adapt to a situation without hesitation. But when it came to his personal life—particularly when it involved Adrianne—Connor felt unable to make snap decisions.
Maybe he should do a little traveling first. That would give Adrianne time to find her own place before he came back. Something told him that Rebecca would be more agreeable to letting him go if she knew that it was only a temporary thing.
“You’re going to do what?” Rebecca asked the next morning at breakfast.
Without looking in Adrianne’s direction, Connor finished spreading strawberry jam on his toast. “I’m going to do a bit of traveling before I settle down.”
“Why would you still feel the need to travel? All you did was travel.” Well, that was not at all the response he’d been hoping for from Rebecca. “Why would you want to do more of that?”
Connor glanced up to see Rebecca regarding him over the mug she held in her hands. Okay, so clearly he’d misjudged how she would react to the news of him traveling. While she hadn’t broken down in tears like the day before, she still wasn’t happy with his plans. Was Connor going to have to come right out and tell her why he was considering this newest change in plans?
He knew it was selfish, but he really didn’t want to have to reveal to her what had happened with Adrianne. There was no doubt in his mind what her reaction would be. He’d always enjoyed being her older brother and feeling as if he could do no wrong in her eyes. Telling her what had happened would definitely lower her respect for him. And while that may be what he deserved, Connor struggled to even contemplate revealing anything that would make that happen.
“Where are you thinking of traveling?” Alex asked.
Connor swallowed the bite of toast he’d taken then lifted his mug of coffee to take a sip. “I was thinking the UK or maybe France and Italy. I don’t have much desire to return to the Middle East and parts of Asia. But England and Scotland and Ireland. I think I’d like to see those countries.”
“Adrianne has talked about going to Scotland,” Alex said, his gaze flicking to where his sister sat eating her breakfast. “How long were you thinking of taking for this trip?”
“I wasn’t really looking at a definite departure or return date.” Connor shrugged, wondering why he hadn’t thought this plan through better. “It was just something that crossed my mind that I might like to do now that I’m retired.”
“Well, I’d really rather that you didn’t rush off just yet.” Connor fought the urge to sigh when he saw the stubbornness of his sister’s expression. “Why do you have to travel right away? Can’t you hang around here for a bit and then go if you still feel the need to gallivant around the globe?”
Exasperation filled Connor as he sat there, once again feeling his plans begin to shift. He cast a quick look at Adrianne. Unfortunately, her expression didn’t give him any clue of how she felt about Rebecca’s objections to him traveling. He really was trying to take Adrianne’s feelings into account as he made this decision, but she didn’t seem inclined to help him beyond the conversation they had the night before.
Maybe he just needed to take her at her word, and trust that what she said was really what she felt.
“Okay, Rebecca. I’ll put my traveling on hold for the time being, but I’m not doing that indefinitely. Though I definitely do want to settle down somewhere, I’ve always enjoyed traveling and experiencing new cultures. My job just tended to send me into places where I wasn’t exactly welcome or introduced me to aspects of some cultures that were particularly horrifying. But I do still want to travel, I just want it to be to places of my choosing. Which is why I’ll stay here for now, but still plan to have traveling as part of my future.”
“Thank you,” Rebecca said, relief clear in her voice. “I know I have changes in my life with Alex and then with moving here, but I’ve missed you, and I want you to be part of the life Jordan and I have here.”
Connor felt a bit of disappointment within himself. He wanted to make things right with Adrianne, but he just didn’t know how. He’d thought that removing himself from her life would be the best thing to do, but now that that was thwarted, he was back to square one.
~*~
Adrianne sat in her window seat with her laptop in front of her. She looked out over the forest and let her mind replay the conversation that had gone on at breakfast. For some reason, she’d assumed that Connor would jump at the chance to stay close to his sister. But instead, it almost seemed like he was still trying to leave.
There was a slightly sick feeling in the pit of her stomach as she wondered if he wanted to get away from her. Maybe seeing her so frequently was a reminder of a time he wished to forget. If that was the case, he could just suck it up. If she was willing to put up with his presence even though she hated what he reminded her of, he could put up with hers. After all, the mean things that had been said had been directed at her.
The bottom line was that finding a house was the best thing she could do to control the situation on her end. With that in mind, she turned her attention to more possibilities in her real estate agent’s latest email. Praying that one of them was a house that could be her home, Adrianne began to click through the listings.
Adrianne pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes. She’d already put aside the dream of having a husband and children. Did God want her to give up this dream as well? It sure looked that way since she hadn’t been able to find a house yet despite having looked at so many. But she was going to continue to look for now and trust that if this wasn’t God’s will, the door would firmly shut.
But it was as if the world was conspiring against her. Just at the time she was trying to set aside her dream of a husband, she was faced with the evidence that someone else was finding the love Adrianne longed for.
“That’s another lovely bouquet of flowers, Kelsey,” Adrianne said as she approached the reception desk on her way back from grabbing a cup of coffee.
Kelsey looked up, a besotted look on her face. “Isn’t it just beautiful? Jeff gave me another one today since I took my last bouquet home. He wanted me to have one at home and one at work.”
Adrianne tried to be happy for Kelsey, but it was hard, which made her feel like a really lousy friend.
It was a Monday. She still hadn’t found a house. And now she had to look at the beautiful evidence of someone else being wooed the way she wished that she could be. Seeing the happiness on Kelsey’s face made Adrianne feel jealous in a way she hadn’t ever experienced before.
She’d had lots of friends over the years who had fallen in love, gotten married, and gone on to have children. Though she’d wanted the same things for herself, Adrianne hadn’t been jealous of them. She wasn’t really jealous of Kelsey because she was being given beautiful flowers. She was jealous of the other woman because she hadn’t had to give up her dream of love the way Adrianne felt she’d had to.
Beauty from Ashes: A Christian Romance (BlackThorpe Security Book 5) Page 7