Connor looked around the large open space off of which lay several offices. The space was now filled with BlackThorpe employees and police officers. The gunman’s body, which lay not too far away from the door to Adrianne’s office, was now covered with a bright yellow blanket.
It made him a little queasy to think what might’ve happened if the gunman had made it to Adrianne’s door. Sure, the man would’ve had to hit him first if he’d come around the desk, but if he decided to just shoot at the desk, the wood would not have stopped a bullet from reaching Adrianne first. He wasn’t a big one for playing the what-if game, especially after the fact, but he just couldn’t seem to help himself this time around.
Part of his previous job had been to consider all scenarios of the situation to prepare the best he could before going in. Usually, that was a good thing. And as long as the mission went well, he never let himself think about the other scenarios since they were no longer relevant. But that wasn’t the way it was working this time around.
He just couldn’t seem to stop himself from considering all the different scenarios that could’ve unfolded in this particular situation. And all of them revolved around Adrianne. His training had kicked in the minute he’d recognized the noise for what it was. Gunfire. He’d gone into protection mode at the same instant. And everything had turned out fine. Well, except for the gunman and a couple flesh wounds. So why couldn’t he just let it go?
Movements in Adrianne’s office door grabbed Connor’s attention. She stood there, hesitating as she looked around. Before he could think it through, Connor made his way across the room to where she still stood in her doorway.
“How are you doing?” Connor asked as he touched her arm.
Adrianne looked up at him, her blue eyes large behind the frames of her glasses. “I’m fine. Thank you for what you did to make sure of that.”
A part of Connor wanted to ask if this was enough. If, in doing what he’d done, had he righted the wrong of the past? Could they once again be something more than two people with a huge wedge of hurt between them?
“You’re welcome. Do you need to go home?” Connor asked, a bit concerned by how pale and shaken Adrianne still seemed to be in spite of her assurance of being fine.
“I need to talk to Alex for a moment and then maybe I should go home.” Her gaze went to the group of policemen now inhabiting the once quiet open space. “If they don’t need anything from me.”
Connor laid a hand on her back. “Let’s go see if we can find Alex. I already told one of the officers that we only heard the shots and some shouting, so I’m not sure that they’ll need to speak with you.”
Adrianne didn’t offer any resistance as he guided her toward where Alex and Marcus stood talking to a man in a suit. Alex spotted them right away and said something to Marcus before breaking off and heading in their direction.
“I was able to talk to Rebecca and Melanie. Rebecca would like you to call her when you have a minute.” Adrianne lifted a hand to push her glasses up, and Connor saw a bit of a tremor in her fingers. “I was wondering if it might be okay for me to go home.”
Alex seemed to study his sister for a moment before turning to Connor. “Would you be able to drive Adrianne back to the house? I’m not sure she’s in any shape to drive herself.”
Connor nodded. “As long as they don’t need me here for anything more, I’d be happy to take her home.”
“I can drive myself,” Adrianne said, though Connor doubted it sounded as confident as she’d hoped it would.
Alex shook his head. “You’ve been through an ordeal. You really are in no shape to drive. If you won’t let Connor take you, then you can either wait for me to finish up here or you can call a cab.”
Adrianne’s gaze went from Alex to Connor then back to Alex. “What about my car?”
“You know it’s safe here,” Alex said. “And you can get a ride with me tomorrow.”
As if realizing the futility of fighting with Alex, Adrianne just nodded then turned to Connor. “I just need to get a few things from my office.”
“Okay. I’ll be there in a minute.” Connor watched as Adrianne made her way back to her office then gave Alex his attention. “Do you have an ID on the gunman?”
“Cops checked his body when they got here and found a wallet with ID for Jonathan Jaeger in it.”
Connor filed the name away for future reference. “Doesn’t ring any bells for you?”
Alex frowned as he shook his head. “None at all. That doesn’t mean he is unknown to the company, however. We’ll have to do some research of our own.”
“I can do a little searching for you if you want. Just to see what sort of background I can bring up on the guy.”
Alex didn’t even hesitate before nodding. “Obviously, the police will be running the lead on this investigation, but that doesn’t mean we can’t do a little of our own investigating. Most importantly, we need to figure out if this is somehow tied to the attacks of the past year.”
“I’ll see what I can find and get back to you.” He glanced over to Adrianne’s office. “I’ll get her home and then start searching.”
“Thank you.” Alex clapped him on the shoulder. “We’ll talk a little bit later about you being in Adrianne’s office.”
Connor fought the urge to roll his eyes. “Yep. Talk later.”
As he headed away from Alex, he heard him say, “Don’t think I’ll forget about it.”
Connor just lifted a hand and waved it backward over his head as he went to collect Adrianne and deliver her home safely. He found Adrianne sitting at her desk, her purse and laptop bag lying in front of her next to the bouquet of flowers she’d had in the meeting earlier. She was staring blankly at the desk, her face still pale.
“Are you ready to go?” Connor asked as he stepped into her office.
Adrianne blinked and then looked at him. She stared at him for a moment as if trying to place who he was or why he was there then she nodded and got to her feet. Connor reached for the laptop bag as she picked up her purse and the bouquet of flowers.
As they left her office and made their way to the elevator, Connor tried to keep her from looking at the havoc the gunman had managed to wreak. A police officer at the elevator blocked their entrance.
“I have orders not to allow anyone to leave the scene yet.” He continued to hold his hand over the elevator buttons.
“I’ve already spoken with the detective,” Connor told him. “And she is in no condition to stay here. She didn't witness what happened. She was hidden in her office. I told the detective that as well. Please call and get clearance for us to leave.”
The police officer looked like he was going to ignore Connor’s request, but then he pulled the mic attached to his shoulder closer to his mouth and talked briefly with someone. Connor stayed close to Adrianne, who seemed to be oblivious to what was going on with the police officer. When the man finally nodded to them and pushed the button to call the elevator, Connor was relieved.
They took the elevator to the main floor where they ran into yet another diligent police officer at the entrance to the building. After Connor repeated his speech from upstairs and once again requested the men contact someone, they were finally allowed to leave. He guided Adrianne to where he had parked his truck earlier and helped her into the front seat. After putting her laptop bag on the seat behind his, Connor got behind the wheel and started the truck up.
It was a quiet ride back to the house, but Connor hadn’t anticipated anything different. He wished he knew how to help Adrianne, but he was pretty sure that even if he did know what to do, she would resist any offer of help from him. Hopefully, Adrianne would be able to either work through it on her own or reach out for help, maybe even from Melanie.
Once they got to the house, Adrianne disappeared upstairs with her things. She still hadn’t said a word and because of that, Connor got Melanie’s number from Rebecca and told her what was going on with her sister. By the time he hung up
the phone, Melanie was already on her way to the house.
He was thankful that he could reassure Rebecca that Alex was okay. They had just barely found each other again, so he knew that Rebecca was scared that she would lose Alex. Connor stayed with his sister until Melanie showed up, then he returned to his apartment to do the search that he had told Alex he’d do, all the while ignoring the burning questions that kept popping up in his mind. He knew none of the details of the shooting, so he was left to wonder most of all how someone had managed to get a gun passed all the security that Alex and Marcus had in place for their company.
Knowing he wouldn’t get an answer to that until he had time to talk to Alex, Connor instead turned his attention to the internet and began to dig deep for any information he could find on Jonathan Jaeger.
~*~
Adrianne walked into her suite of rooms, pausing to lean back against her door once she’d shut it. After a minute, she took a deep breath and pushed away from the door. She set her laptop bag and purse on the desk in the corner of the room, then she made her way into her bedroom. Once there, Adrianne sat on the edge of her bed and stared down at the carpet.
She had been thankful that Connor hadn’t tried to push her for a conversation on the ride home. There were so many things going through her mind that she wasn’t sure where to even start to process everything.
It was unreal that someone with evil intent had been able to get a gun that far into the building. There was no shortage of guns within the building since many of the administrative team carried concealed weapons. She herself had a gun in her purse. Though she wasn’t as adept at shooting as Melanie was, Adrianne knew how to use it and could protect herself if necessary.
That’s what she’d always told herself anyway. Today’s little episode showed her that maybe she wasn’t quite as prepared to use it as she’d thought. Instead of going for her gun, she’d frozen in place. She hadn’t been the strong, capable woman that she’d assumed she’d be in a situation like that. It had taken Connor to get her to a place of safety.
Adrianne didn’t want to think about how the man had protected her. How he made sure that he would be the target if the shooter had come into her office. Ever since that incident in high school, Connor had always played the role of a bad guy in her mind. But now he had stepped into the role of her protector, possibly saving her from being injured or worse. How was that all supposed to factor in together?
When there was a knock at the door, Adrianne looked up and stared at the door leading into the other room. Before she could get up, she heard the door open and then Melanie’s voice as she called out to her.
“In here,” Adrianne called back, not sure why Melanie was there but grateful for her presence nonetheless.
“How are you doing?” Melanie asked as she sank down on the bed next to her, sliding an arm around Adrianne’s shoulders and giving her a tight squeeze.
Adrianne shrugged. “I’m not really sure. I’m just having a hard time trying to figure out what to focus on and how to deal with it all.”
“Are you able to tell me what happened?” Melanie asked.
At her question, Adrianne wondered if Melanie was there as her sister or had she come in the role of psychologist. It didn’t really matter, Adrianne realized. Likely she would need help from both roles.
Slowly and in halting phrases, Adrianne recounted the details of what had happened, starting with Connor’s visit to her office. As she talked about the events, Adrianne once again found herself remembering what it had felt like to be squeezed into that space with Connor so close beside her. Her emotional response had been to latch onto those things instead of everything else that had gone on around them.
Adrianne knew she needed to keep those memories—the scent of his cologne, the feel of his scruff against her skin, the steady beat of his heart—at bay. But it was much easier said than done.
Melanie asked some specific questions about the shooting that Adrianne couldn’t answer.
“I didn’t really talk to Alex much about it because the police were there investigating,” Adrianne said. “I didn’t ask him anything about the shooter or how he got a gun in the office. I don’t know how it happened. I didn’t even know what was going on until Connor grabbed me and told me to get under the desk. He realized what was happening right away. I just..froze.”
With Melanie’s help, Adrianne was able to walk through how she felt about her reaction to the shooting. Not necessarily the part with Connor, but how she was struggling with her own reaction when she thought she’d be different if she ever faced that situation.
Eventually, Melanie guided the conversation to Connor’s role in protecting her. Adrianne didn’t want to discuss it, but she knew that if anyone would understand her conflict over the role Connor had played, it would be Melanie since she knew everything about their past. It still didn’t make it any easier to finally admit that there was a huge part of her that was drawn to Connor.
“You know that I believe that what Connor did years ago was wrong,” Melanie said. “But part of me wonders if that was an aberration. Just like Alex’s response when Rebecca told him she was pregnant. There were reasons you were attracted to Connor back then, so it’s really no surprise that you still find those same qualities in him attractive now. I guess the question you have to ask yourself is, can you forgive him for what he said to you back then?”
Adrianne shifted on the bed, curling her toes into the carpet. “That doesn’t matter much if he’s not interested in me as well. Experience tells me that, at most, he might have viewed me as a friend, but even that is questionable after what happened. So I kind of think it’s irrelevant if I’ve forgiven him or not.”
“Forgiveness is never irrelevant,” Melanie said gently. “Maybe you need to forgive him, and then view his words in the light of the man he is today. Maybe that will help to lessen the impact his hurtful words continue to have on your life.”
Though she understood what her sister meant about forgiveness, Adrianne wasn’t sure that she could do as Melanie suggested. For a long time, she’d let Connor’s words dictate how she viewed herself. And how she’d assumed others viewed her as well. To now tell herself that he hadn’t meant those words was almost too hard to do. Had she wasted all those years for nothing?
More than anything right then, Adrianne felt weak. As if yet another layer of herself had been stripped away. She had frozen when the gunshots had started. She’d needed Connor there to protect her. And worst of all, she had feelings for the person who had hurt her so much. Her reaction made her feel weak and not in control of herself.
She should’ve known what to do the minute those gunshots rang out. Her purse had been within reach. She should’ve reached for it and then dropped down behind her desk, pulling out her gun as she waited to see what the gunman would do. That’s what she should’ve done.
But she hadn’t.
How many times was she going to know what she should do and yet do the exact opposite? And that applied to the situation with Connor as well. Though she’d ignored the voice in her head last time around, she wasn’t going to do that again. It was time to take control of her feelings where he was concerned. In spite of what she’d felt earlier as she’d huddled against him under the desk, she would not be that woman who allowed a man to hurt her and then went back for more. She had made herself vulnerable to him once, but that would not happen again. Particularly since he hadn’t shown any indication that he was interested in her.
“I think I’m going to take a bath,” Adrianne said as she got to her feet.
“That’s a good idea,” Melanie agreed. “I wanted to go to the office to be with Tyler, but he said that they wouldn’t let me in anyway. So I’m just going to hang out downstairs until he and Alex get home.”
Adrianne slid out of her suit coat and hung it up in her closet. “I’ll be down in a little while. I just need some time to unwind.”
After Melanie had left, Adrianne slowly finished undr
essing then went to fill the large tub. She brought her phone in and set it up with the Bluetooth speakers in the bathroom. If it had been nighttime, she would have lit several candles around the edge of the tub. Instead, she just lit one scented candle and poured some oil into the tub before turning on the jets.
As she sank into the warm water, Adrianne finally allowed herself to relax. With her favorite instrumental music playing softly in the background, she let her mind wander, but not towards the events of the day. Instead, she pictured herself in the home of her dreams. Filled with the furniture that made it feel warm and inviting. It would have a place to sit at a window looking out over her beautifully landscaped backyard and the trees beyond it that gave the house privacy. She could picture where she’d put her Christmas tree. Where she’d curl up with a good book on a cold winter’s night. The blanket she would draw over her legs to keep her warm as she read. The small end table where she’d put a mug of her favorite coffee-hot chocolate blend.
The thought came to her as she continued to imagine that dream home, that if things had turned out differently that day, she wouldn’t be in any position to dream for any type of future.
She was grateful then. Grateful that, for whatever reason, Connor had come to her office that morning after the meeting to talk with her. Grateful that when she had frozen, he had been there to push her into a position of safety. Yes, she wished she could’ve done better herself, but she couldn’t deny that having Connor there might have spared her life.
The steady pulse of the jets against her legs and her back relaxed her further, but her mind was reluctant to move on from Connor. She needed to thank him—she couldn’t really remember if she’d done that yet—but at the same time, she needed to be sure that her emotions were held in check. Even if she could allow herself the freedom to feel and express what she felt for Connor, not once since his return had he shown anything but friendship toward her. It was like a repeat of high school only they were now older and, presumably, wiser. Which was why she would thank him and move on.
Beauty from Ashes: A Christian Romance (BlackThorpe Security Book 5) Page 16