Beauty from Ashes: A Christian Romance (BlackThorpe Security Book 5)

by Kimberly Rae Jordan

  Connor didn’t bother to look around for the other two guys who were on the same flight. They had their own personas, and none of them allowed for contact with each other. Connor was just grateful that his businessman cover gave him the privilege of flying in first class. He would enjoy it now, because once they got to Dubai, their mode of transportation would likely change significantly.

  The first part of the trip was a short flight, and then there was a layover for an hour and a half before he boarded the flight that would take him to Dubai. The luxury aboard the Emirates Airways flight was a welcome experience after the past week. Once airborne, Connor pulled out his tablet to check for further information from Max, but there was nothing.

  The downside to the forced inactivity for eight hours was that it gave Connor time to think. He wondered how Rebecca and Jordan were doing. They had both been concerned when he’d told them he was heading back to Florida, and Rebecca had been even more upset when he’d told her that he was going out on a mission. She’d never been that worried about his job before—that he was aware of—and he wondered if it was her pregnancy hormones or just that she’d anticipated never having to deal with him being involved with a dangerous mission again. If it had been for anything other than a former teammate, Connor would have said no. But Jace had had his back numerous times over the years, so Connor would do what he could to help find him and his wife.

  After receiving the drink he’d requested from the flight attendant, Connor turned his head to look out the window at the clouds billowing around the plane as it cut through the twilight sky. He couldn’t help but wonder about Adrianne as well. Had his letter helped her at all? It hadn’t been an attempt to get her to give him a second chance, but rather, he’d wanted her to know that he had felt something for her back then. That his words had been driven by fear and cowardice, not truth. That the ugly person back then had been him not her.

  Usually Connor was careful to not let his thoughts go to his family while on a work assignment, but this time, he couldn’t seem to prevent it. He missed them. After having been around Rebecca and Jordan for a couple of months, he missed being able to see them whenever he wanted.

  And yes, he missed seeing Adrianne.

  Connor rubbed a hand against his chest, trying to ease the ache there. It had been present in varying degrees ever since he’d written that letter essentially telling Adrianne that he wanted her to be happy…even if it was with someone else. He didn’t think he deserved a second chance with her. At best, he hoped that they could be friends. Worst case would be that he would only be allowed to exist on the fringes of her life. It was up to her. He would accept whatever she offered.

  Unable to help himself, Connor picked up his tablet again and, keeping it angled away from prying eyes, logged into his email account. He knew it was risky, but he couldn’t seem to help himself. After over a week of being out of touch, he wanted to see if there was any news waiting for him. In the past, Rebecca would often write him emails even though she knew he wouldn’t check them until his mission was over. It was something he’d looked forward to. Reading her messages had been kind of like reading a diary of her and Jordan’s days. Would she have continued on with the practice even though she had so many other things going on in her life now?

  As soon as Connor’s inbox had loaded, he skimmed the sender information of each email, his heart skipping a beat when he saw one from Adrianne. The subject line simply said Thank you. He hesitated to open it. Would it just be a brief message of thanks? Or would she respond to his lengthy note with one of her own?

  Since there was only one way to find out, he held his breath and finally tapped the screen.

  Hi, Connor ~ Thank you very much for the flowers. Of all the bouquets I’ve received recently, yours meant the most to me.

  Connor couldn’t help but smile wryly at that. Considering the others had come from a mad gunman, he would hope that his would at least rank slightly higher.

  I also want to thank you for what you shared. For so long, I have questioned my own judgment. I spent a lot of years thinking I had completely misunderstood the friendship I thought we had. I didn’t understand how the person I’d shared so much with could reject me so cruelly. Perhaps it’s petty of me, but I’m glad to hear that you suffered over the loss of our friendship as much as I did. At least it helps me to feel better to know that I didn’t completely misjudge what we’d had together.

  Looking back now, I wish I had been content with friendship, but it wouldn’t have been fair to me to live out that friendship in secret. And I know now that’s how it would have been. In your eyes back then, I wouldn’t have been worth the risk. I understand more now, though I still don’t like it. The sting of your words has lessened lately as I’ve had the chance to see the man you’ve become. And I do forgive you for what happened back then. Not for Alex and Rebecca’s sake, but because I want us to be able to put that horrible time behind us.

  I know we’ve both changed, but I’d like to try for friendship. First and foremost, we were friends, and I’d like to start there again.

  Connor stared at the words. Friendship? While it was more than he had really hoped for, he could help but picture her relationship with Hank, and Connor just wasn’t sure he could ever have that easy type of friendship Adrianne shared with the other man. Hank seemed more than willing to just be her friend, not caring that she might fall in love with someone else. Connor wasn’t sure he had it within him to do that.

  All he could do was pray that God would give him the strength to accept that situation if it arose. In the meantime, he would take hope from the fact that she’d said that she’d forgiven him and that friendship was where she wanted to start. Maybe that meant she’d be open to something more eventually. He was patient. He could wait. Because even the possibility of a future with Adrianne as something more than just friends was incentive enough.

  As Connor stared out the window again, he found himself excited at the prospect of really getting to know even more about the person Adrianne was now. He’d already discovered a few new things about her, but he was anxious to see if she still enjoyed sci-fi movies. Did she watch the B movies about disasters that they’d loved to pick apart? And was Elizabeth Barrett Browning still her favorite poet?

  Connor toyed with the idea of responding to her email, but he decided not to since he wasn’t even supposed to be reading personal emails mid-mission. Instead, feeling a need to connect with Jordan and Rebecca, he took yet another risk and logged onto Facebook.

  The first thing he saw when he logged in was a couple of friend requests along with quite a few notifications. He tapped on the friend requests, blinking in surprise when he saw that one of them had come from Adrianne. In the age of social media, becoming friends on Facebook was a good place to start, Connor decided.

  After the briefest of hesitations, Connor accepted Adrianne’s friend request. He did a quick mental calculation and figured it was early morning there. Adrianne would probably be heading out to work soon. He wanted to PM her, but he resisted that urge. Instead, he went to her page and began to look through what she’d posted recently, things he hadn’t been able to see before since he hadn’t been her friend on Facebook.

  She didn’t post as frequently as Jordan and Rebecca did, but there were still a handful of status updates that he read through. He quickly realized that she didn’t share anything too personal. There was nothing from her about the shooting at the office, but a status shortly before that day brought him up short.

  Adrianne Thorpe feeling thoughtful:

  Feels like a Netflix kind of night. Think I’ll take a walk down memory lane with Galaxy Quest.

  Connor smiled then read through the handful of comments beneath the status, pausing when he saw a familiar name.

  Hank Williams Are you kidding me? You should have invited me over. I would have brought Oreos and ice cream. I love that movie!

  19

  Connor frowned. He didn’t like the idea of Hank w
atching that movie with Adrianne. That was one of the movies they had talked about all the time. He had even been thinking about trying to find a way for them to watch it together…until she had asked him to the dance.

  Adrianne Thorpe Didn’t know you liked it. Maybe next time. I tend to watch it once every ten years or so. Lol

  Well, at least Connor knew that she did still enjoy sci-fi movies. Maybe that could be something that they could talk about. As friends. Maybe even go to a movie. He really wanted to respond to the status, but he wasn’t even supposed to be on Facebook to start with, and it would make him look like a creeper if he posted on a status from a couple of weeks back.

  He spent a little more time on Adrianne’s page, recognizing some of the pictures that she’d taken and posted of Jordan, before going to Rebecca’s and then to Jordan’s. Though he would have liked to comment on some of the stuff he saw, Connor resisted and soon logged off Facebook.

  Though it had done his heart good to read Adrianne’s email and to see the stuff from his family on Facebook, Connor knew he needed to refocus on his mission and what lay ahead. They were going into an unknown situation with relatively little intel. It was enough to make the trip necessary, but not enough to guarantee the end they were all hoping for.

  Distraction was a sure way to screw things up and possibly end up dead. Connor had more things than ever to live for—his family, a new niece or nephew, Adrianne—and he planned to do everything within his power to stay safe. The rest he would leave up to God as he prayed that things would go smoothly and end with all lives spared.

  ~*~

  Adrianne stared at the message she received when she logged into Facebook.

  Connor Mackenzie has accepted your friend request.

  What was going on? Alex had told her—and Rebecca had repeated it later—that Connor didn’t check his social media or email in the middle of a mission. Did this mean he was on his way home?

  She set her phone down on the desk and clicked her mouse on the icon to bring up her personal email. Maybe he’d replied to her email if his mission was over. Her shoulders slumped when there was nothing in her inbox from him. Was the Facebook notification just some kind of glitch?

  From what Rebecca had said, he would usually call her as soon as he was able to safely do so. Maybe she’d just wait a little while to see if her sister-in-law mentioned anything.

  As it turned out, waiting a little while ended up stretching into what felt like an indefinite amount of time. When she’d gotten home that night, and Rebecca hadn’t mentioned anything about Connor being on his way home, Adrianne decided not to mention the Facebook alert.

  March arrived in the midst of a snowstorm, one of the worst the Twins Cities had seen in a while. And still, there was no word from Connor. That first week after receiving the notification, Adrianne had found herself jumping every time Rebecca’s phone rang. She wasn’t alone in that behavior either. Rebecca rarely let her phone ring more than once before picking it up to see who was calling.

  The whole situation led to a tension-ridden environment around the mansion. Even as closing day for her house approached, Adrianne found she wasn’t as excited as she should have been. Worry over Connor’s safety overrode pretty much everything else. She tried to remind herself—as did Alex—that he’d worked safely for many years and knew what he was doing. Unfortunately, her brother’s reassurances did nothing to ease the ache in her heart.

  “Congratulations,” Patsy said as she held out the keys to Adrianne’s new house. “I hope that it’s everything you dreamed it would be and will bring you much happiness.”

  For just a moment, the excitement of owning her very own home was stronger than the worry over Connor. Adrianne had tried to keep her attention focused on the last few steps that were necessary before she could claim ownership of the house, but the moment her hand closed around the keys Patsy held out to her, the worry crept back in.

  Melanie had come with her, and once they had completed all the necessary paperwork, they headed over to the new house. As they pulled to a stop in the driveway, Adrianne stared at the house. Her home.

  “Let’s go,” Melanie said, excitement clear in her voice. It was fine for her to be excited. The man she loved was safe and sound. “I want to see what it’s like inside.”

  Adrianne nodded and got out of the car. She glanced around the neighborhood, thankful that while she’d been mainly focused on the house on her previous visits, the area surrounding it looked nice as well. She slipped the key into the lock and turned it. The door swung inwards and as she stepped over the threshold, Adrianne experienced that same sense of homecoming she’d felt the first time she had seen the house.

  “Oh, this is beautiful, Adrianne.” After they’d removed their boots, Melanie moved from the entryway into the living room and then into the kitchen where they took off their coats and laid them on the island. “I can see why you were determined to get this house, and for the record, I think you did just fine without having Alex and Dad helping you.”

  Without the previous owners’ furniture to fill it up, each room they wandered through seemed even larger than it had before. Adrianne was going to have to do a lot of shopping to get what she needed. At least she had time since Alex had told her that he wasn’t in any hurry to have her move out.

  She knew it wasn’t smart, but Adrianne couldn’t help wanting to wait to shop for furniture until Connor returned. She had told him she wanted to start with friendship, but if truth be told, her heart was already well past that. His letter to her had made it sound like his feelings for her had been there at one time too. Was it too much to hope that maybe he feel something for her again? That this time they would be able to be honest about their feelings for each other?

  “Are you okay?”

  Melanie’s voice drew Adrianne from her thoughts, and she realized she’d been standing at the window seat in the master bedroom that looked out over the back yard. It was clear that this would soon be her favorite place in the house, just as the window seat in her bedroom was at the mansion. She turned from the view and found Melanie watching her with concern on her face.

  “I’m worried about Connor.” Adrianne sank down on the window seat. “It feels like forever since he left. We finally managed to leave the past where it belonged, and now he’s gone. What if this is the time he doesn’t come home? What if we don’t have a second chance at friendship or anything else?”

  Melanie sat down beside her. “I know it’s hard not to worry, but we’ve all been praying for his safety. We have to trust God to take care of him.”

  Adrianne swallowed. She believed what Melanie was saying, but she also knew that sometimes the desires of a person’s heart didn’t line up with God’s will . Was she willing to let go of her own desires where Connor was concerned and trust that God would work the situation out in a way that would bring honor and glory to His name? Pain gripped her heart as she bent her head.

  She felt her sister’s hand cover her hands where they lay clenched in her lap and then Melanie began to pray.

  “Heavenly Father, we come to You today to ask for Your protection over Connor. You know where he is and what his situation is. We ask that if it is Your will that he come home to us soon. He has a family who loves him waiting here. We pray that after allowing Adrianne and Connor to find healing from the past that You would grant them time to find Your will for their lives. That this love Adrianne has for Connor would be the start of the future You have planned for them. Give Adrianne and Rebecca peace as they wait for word. We commit Connor into Your hands. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”

  Adrianne took a deep breath, trying to ease the tight band of emotion around her chest. She reached up to brush the tears from her cheeks then leaned into Melanie’s embrace when her sister wrapped her arms around her.

  Though Adrianne clung to the promise that God was in control, there was no instant answer to Melanie’s prayer. In the end, it was Adrianne’s house that helped them get through the l
ong days without word from Connor. Rebecca, especially, threw herself into helping Adrianne get what she needed. She would ask her what pattern she wanted for dishes or colors for the bathroom rugs and the next thing Adrianne knew, Rebecca was showing her the deals she’d found.

  “You love him,” Rebecca stated one day as they looked over a catalog for home furnishings that had shown up in the mail.

  Adrianne looked up from a page filled with comforters and curtains to find Rebecca watching her intently. As Connor’s absence had stretched from days into weeks, Adrianne had given up trying to hide her concern for him. Even before Rebecca said the words to her, she knew that her sister-in-law had picked up on Adrianne’s feelings for her brother. It was what had drawn them closer in their relationship with each other: their mutual love for Connor.

  “Yes. I do. I have…for a long time. I just wouldn’t acknowledge it to myself since it seemed wrong to love the person who had hurt me so badly.”

  “I’m glad you’ve forgiven him,” Rebecca said as she sat back, her hands resting on the small, barely-there bump of her stomach. “I know that he deeply regrets what he did.”

  Adrianne nodded. His note to her with the flowers had said as much. The conversation moved in a different direction after that. At one time, Adrianne would have wanted Rebecca’s assurance that her brother loved her too, but right then she realized she didn’t need it. She was trusting God with her and Connor’s future relationship—whether that would be friendship or something more.

  And if Connor did love her, she wanted to hear it from him first. Not from his sister.