Chapter 9
Before Analise could regain her breath, she was in the middle of the dance floor, Luke’s warm hand on the small of her back. There was a slight tug that said her hair was caught beneath his hand, which for some reason seemed all the more intimate—scandalous.
He swept her right into the dance, leaving no time for her to protest or pull away. He moved pretty well, the stiffness in his knee barely noticeable.
She avoided looking around the room at the familiar and no doubt curious faces, yet she managed not to look into Luke’s face, either. All of her repressed desire to dance dried right up. She moved woodenly, feeling like all eyes in the place were on her, judging.
Suddenly Luke gave her left hand a little loosening shake. “Relax a little,” he said. “I promise not to trample your toes.”
“I’m not worried about my toes.” Oops, she made the mistake of looking into those sky-blue eyes. They pulled her over like a rapid waterfall.
He looked deep, his gaze almost palpable, and asked, “What are you worried about?”
She couldn’t help but hold his gaze. She tried to sound flippant. “What makes you think I’m worried?”
He snorted—an action that should have been off-putting, but for some reason was oddly appealing, a boyish contrast to the hard-muscled, rugged man.
“The first time I laid eyes on you,” he said, “you were dancing—and you certainly weren’t moving like a Barbie doll.”
She rolled her eyes, hoping her cheeks weren’t flaming red as she remembered that moment. “I was supposed to be alone. This is different.”
“Really?” He cocked his head slightly to the side, looking as adorable as a puppy. Analise had to remind herself that was how she got sucked in with Calvin. He continued, “You didn’t have wooden legs when you danced with Dep’dy Dave, there.” He nodded at Dave as they moved past him and Mimi.
Analise noticed Dave didn’t appear very relaxed, either.
She shook her head, dismissing the subject, and looked at the band.
“Really, I want to know,” he prodded. “What’d I do to make you dislike me?”
Her gaze snapped back to his face. “I don’t dislike you.” Quite the contrary.
Instead of saying anything else, he just stared into her eyes and pulled her closer as they moved to the melancholy, yet overwhelmingly sensual beat of the love song. She forced herself to hold his gaze, feeling vulnerable and exposed. Could he see what was really in her heart—what a horrible, disloyal woman she was?
Luke leaned a little closer and whispered in her ear, “I didn’t come here to upset you—I just want to help.”
Shame kept her from responding. Coward that she was, she tucked her head on his shoulder so she wouldn’t have to look in his eyes any longer. If she gave him half a chance, he’d press for the answer to the question he’d returned to ask. And she didn’t have the strength to discuss Calvin while in Luke’s arms, with Luke’s living breath on her cheek.
After a moment, the music’s strong emotion melded with her own. The warmth of Luke’s body slowly seeped into hers, crossing the minuscule space between them like an arcing current. A change as hot and liquid as melted caramel came over her. She no longer moved stiffly. Her limbs felt heavy and fluid. She knew the reason: Forbidden desire had sparked deep within her.
Closing her eyes, she shut out everything else. She understood the dangerous waters she was treading. And she knew she should never allow herself to go there—never allow herself to be this close to him again. So she gave herself the selfish gift of this moment; to enjoy the feel of his body against hers, relish the little tingle in her lower back where his hand rested, shiver at his breath on the back of her neck, and imagine what might have been in a different place, a different time.
The music finally faded into its last strains. Analise immediately turned away from Luke and started back toward their table. If she looked in his eyes now, he was sure to see.
Just as she left the dance floor she saw Darcy, and the bottom dropped out of her stomach. The girl had danced her way into a dark corner with some guy, who definitely wasn’t Cole, and was ending the dance with a very indiscreet, very . . . athletic . . . kiss.
Immediately, she looked for Cole. Please, please, God, don’t let him have seen.
Olivia was in the booth alone. Analise quickly followed her mother-in-law’s troubled gaze and just caught a glimpse of Cole barging out the door.
Luke stopped her from following right behind by grabbing her arm. “What’s with Cole?”
Ana jerked her head toward the corner. “That’s his girlfriend.”
“Uh-oh.”
She started to pull away and go after him, but Luke held tight. “Give him a minute. He can’t go far.”
“But—”
“If he wanted to talk about it, he’d still be sitting in that booth. Give the kid some time to get himself together.”
As much as it galled her to admit it, she realized Luke was right.
Just as they reached the table, Dave came by. “The band’s really good tonight,” he said. “Analise, how about another turn around the floor?”
“Oh, Dave, I’m sorry, but we have to go.” Then she added, when his face clouded, “Next week as usual, though.”
“Sure.” He smiled. “Next week.”
Olivia had already called for the bill. Rosie brought it, stepping in front of Dave as if he weren’t even there. She held up the check and cast a curious gaze from Olivia to Luke.
Olivia said, “I’ll get it,” and at the same time Luke shoved a credit card into Rosie’s hand.
As they left the restaurant, Dave, who’d been lingering with small talk, assured them, “I’ll be by later tonight. Just to check on things.”
Olivia patted him on the arm as she passed. “Thanks so much, Dave. But that won’t be necessary. Luke’s going to be staying with us.”
After a moment, Dave gave a half-smile and nodded. “Good.” He paused. “That’s good. I’ll still make a pass with the cruiser—just as a deterrent. Police presence sometimes is all it takes to keep the mischief in check.”
Analise wasn’t able to stand still. Where had Cole gone? She headed toward the door and heard Olivia thanking Dave again.
Once outside, she cast a quick glance around, hoping to see Cole pacing the parking lot. She didn’t.
Just as her heart started to speed up, Luke nudged her from behind. “He’s in the car.”
She looked that way and saw the silhouette of the crown of his head. He was slumped down in the back seat.
A little sigh of relief passed her lips.
As she started toward the car, Luke said, “I’d just let this rest for now.”
She spun on him. “I think I know how to handle a boy I’ve helped raise, thank you very much.”
Luke shrugged. “Okay. I was just making a suggestion.”
“For your information, I didn’t intend to open the door and say something like, Gee that sucks, Darcy was in there making out with that guy. Should we go get some ice cream to make it all better?”
Luke chuckled. “No. From the look on your face, you were going to yank open the door and say, How dare that little bitch dump you like that. Let me go kick her ass.”
Analise just sputtered and stalked toward the car.
Cole headed straight to his room after the long, silent ride home. His feet thudded up the stairs two at a time. His arrival was announced by a slamming door.
Olivia said, “I don’t suppose this would be the best time to tell him that I talked to Mrs. Baker tonight and volunteered him to help at the Kiwanis Rib Fest next Friday.”
Luke laughed.
Analise shot him a dirty look.
Olivia tsked in Analise’s direction.
“How can you be so callous?” Analise asked. Then she looked at Luke to include him. “Both of you. Cole’s heart is broken.”
Olivia stepped closer and wrapped Analise in a warm embrace. “He’s six
teen. It’s all part of growing up. This won’t be the last time. He’ll need us to help him keep it all in perspective.” She released Analise and turned to Luke. “Do you remember your first heartbreak?”
A nostalgic smile spread across Luke’s face. “I can still feel the pain.” He clutched his heart. “Amy Whitson. Dumped me for the varsity basketball forward when I was a sophomore.” He leaned close to Olivia and added, “To be fair, they had just won the sectional. What shallow, self-centered cheerleader could have resisted?”
Olivia giggled like a teenager herself.
Analise wanted to thump them both. “I can’t believe you two! Cole’s had more to deal with than just simple teenage infidelity.”
Luke’s voice took on an edge she hadn’t heard before when he said, “Sure, the kid’s had it rough. But that doesn’t mean he can’t learn to cope. He has to handle—”
“You don’t know—”
He stiffened and leaned toward her. “I do know. All of this ‘Poor Cole’ crap isn’t doing him a bit of good.”
“If at sixteen you had—”
“At ten my mother took off with some traveling salesman. Walked out the door on an errand and just never came back. She left her husband and three kids in a town that knew the dirty details almost before we did. My dad moved us to an apartment over his bar so we’d be close at night when he worked. You know how many mothers let their kids hang out at your house when you live over a bar? But I never once used it as an excuse for my choices.”
Analise felt like she’d been slapped.
He looked at Olivia. “No disrespect intended, ma’am.”
Olivia fluttered a hand in the air. “I couldn’t agree more. Cole has to learn to cope, and to own up to his choices.” She gave a great, gaping yawn. “My. I can’t remember when I’ve been so tired. I’m going to bed.” She kissed Analise on the cheek and patted Luke on the arm. “Night, you two.”
Analise watched her leave the kitchen, the heat of anger still stinging her cheeks. How could the woman remain so calm during a conversation like this? Wasn’t she worried about her son? Analise turned around and opened the back door. “Come on, Rufus. We’re going for a walk.”
When the dog just huffed at her, she let out a strangled moan of frustration and went out alone, slamming the door behind her.
Luke watched out the window as Analise was swallowed by the darkness between the house and the road. Damn woman. Doesn’t she have any sense? Just last night a rock came crashing through her bedroom window; now she was taking a walk alone in the dark.
He slipped silently out of the house, putting his often-used talents to work. No sense in pissing her off further by letting her know he was following. In the past, he’d tailed men for two days without giving himself away; shadowing a woman so worked up she couldn’t see straight, let alone hear someone walk right up behind her, should be a piece of cake. He blended in with the night, moving with a stealth that he’d almost forgotten. He would follow her as long as she wanted to walk, but he wouldn’t disturb her.
That conviction held until he heard her first sniffle. Then it wavered, but he held true.
Instead of going directly to the road, as he’d anticipated, she veered off into the yard about halfway there. A hundred tree frogs made a steady succession of ratchety croaks and the crickets were practically deafening; there wasn’t much chance of the snap of an unseen twig giving him away. He closed up some of the distance between them.
She settled on a bench he didn’t even see until she sat on it—and sniffled.
His conviction to remain unseen crumbled a little more.
There was only the slightest chill in the air, the frigid weather of that first day nothing more than a memory. Although she was wearing a jacket, he saw her rub her arms for warmth. She sniffled again and then buried her face in her hands.
That conviction became no more than a tiny pile of dust carried on the wind.
He took two silent steps backward. Then another two.
“Analise?” he called softly, as if looking for her. Then he tromped loudly in her direction.
She twisted on the bench, looking over her shoulder.
“Are you out here?” he said.
After clearing her throat, she said, “Yes. Over here on the bench.”
Luke kept moving toward her. “I can’t see a damn thing out here.” Had to make it convincing.
She got up and took a couple of steps in his direction. Holding out her hand, she said, “Be careful. The ground’s uneven.”
He reached out, seeking her with one hand, as if he were as blind as he was pretending to be. When he touched her hand, she grasped it firmly.
“Here, sit down, your knee has to be strained.”
They sat on the metal bench; she didn’t let go of his hand.
He said, “My knee’s getting stronger. The work today was better than physical therapy.”
She let go of his hand and covered her mouth to stifle a sob. “I’m so sorry.” She snuffed loudly. “I’ve been so awful to you . . . i-it’s in-ex-ex-cusable. You’re too good to us.”
Too good? Hardly. He could never make up for the damage.
He hesitated, letting his hand hover in the air for a moment before he laid it on her shoulder. “I get the feeling you’re used to doing things on your own, carrying the load of this family.”
She didn’t say anything, but he could feel her shoulder still shaking as she tried to stop crying.
He cupped the back of her head and pulled it to his shoulder. She relaxed against him as she had during the end of that dance. It surprised him as much this time as it had then. Would he ever figure out this woman?
After a moment, he went on, “I told you my mother left when we were kids. My sister, Lily, held us all together—just like you’re holding this family together. It wasn’t easy, but Lily was tough. I’ve never seen a little girl with more selfless determination. She never cried, never complained about cleaning or taking care of our little sister. It was like she was trying to fill in the giant space that Mom left with her seven-year-old spirit.”
He kept talking softly, feeling her settle more firmly on his shoulder. “We had this special place we used to go to, deep in the woods. One day I found her there—like I found you here, tonight. When she saw me, she swiped the silent tears she’d been crying away. She didn’t want me to know. And it made me so mad I could hardly see. I started yelling—not at Lily, but at our mom. I yelled and screamed and finally Lily joined in, too. Then she cried for an hour. I think it was the first time she’d cried since our mom walked out.”
“Did it help?” Analise whispered into the crook of his neck.
“Oh, yeah. It helped.” He stroked her hair.
As if receiving permission for the first time in her life to cry, the dam burst. Luke held her long enough that pins and needles started to prickle his backside. But his whole ass could fall off, and he wouldn’t budge from this spot. Analise needed so much more than she allowed people to give.
Finally, her sobs reduced to ragged sniffles and she raised her head.
He said, “Tell me why you said what you did in the cemetery—just before you left.”
She drew a shuddering breath.
“It’s all right to tell me, everyone needs to let things out. What you say to me will remain between us.” He suspected part of Analise’s reluctance had to do with Olivia. She’d unloaded on him in the cemetery only because he would take what she said away with him.
“Oh, there’s no helping this,” she said in a low, bleak voice.
“I think there is—or else you wouldn’t have said anything to me in the first place.”
She started to get up, but he grabbed her hand and held her there.
After a long trembling sigh, she looked into the darkness and said, “My parents died when I was three. Grandmother raised me. There were just the two of us in a big old house filled with untouchable antiques, permanently sealed windows and artificial air—no matt
er what the season.” She paused, it was a heavy silence, pregnant with the unsaid, the long-locked-away. “I had the best of everything—clothes, education, travel. I never ran. I never ate with my fingers. I never raised my voice. I never, never got dirty. We were very ‘civilized,’ Grandmother and I. She used the word as a permanent barrier between us and most of the population of Mississippi. We were different—special.”
Analise sniffed and shook her head. “I’m making her sound like a wicked stepmother. She wasn’t. Now that I look back, I think she was struggling to keep the old South alive, hiding her pain behind rigid rules and proper decorum.” Her hand trembled in his. “And, God help me, she was going to make me just like her.
“I remember watching other kids in the park, sliding into home plate with the dust flying.” She swooped one hand through the air to show the action. The pale moonlight glinted off her short fingernails, making them appear as delicate as the petals of a flower. “All I wanted was to, just once, roll in the dirt, to know what it was like to have grime under my fingernails, to have skinned knees and gum stuck in my hair, to go to the county fair and come home with my face sticky from blue cotton candy.”
Her words picked up energy as they flowed from her lips and Luke knew they’d been a long time in coming. He didn’t miss the fact that Analise now made a living by the grown-up equivalent of “rolling in the dirt.” She’d taken herself as far away from that antiseptic childhood as she possibly could. He wanted to pat her on the back, pick her up and twirl her around, applaud her strength. He settled for offering her the warmth of his hand, the comfort of his presence.
She glanced briefly at him, then to their interlocked hands. “You already know how I met Calvin. Maybe I grabbed blindly at a chance for change—maybe I wasn’t fair to Calvin in that. But I saw something glittering and full of life, and I wanted to be a part of it more than I’d wanted anything in my life.
“Of course, Grandmother disowned me. Our wedding was a far cry from the fabulous social event she’d been planning for years—she’d only been waiting for a qualified groom.” She chuckled. “Calvin was anything but what she’d been searching for. So he and I were married by a judge before the end of his leave.
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