Our healer’s name was Pierre, and he did Judah a kindness by giving him a potion to knock him out, so he could sleep through the night. I wondered how Judah would ever find rest again that was not chemically induced. As my bestie’s eyelids drooped and rose, drooped and rose, he laid on my pillow as he’d done in Common almost every night in the past however many years. It was an odd thing to see Judah be at home in my world, but part of my heart felt healed at having him around again. Kerdik was sitting in a chair in the corner of my room, watching quietly as I fawned over Judah, fluffing his pillow and brushing his dark, curly hair away from his forehead.
“Ro?” Judah said quietly, fighting the sleep that was creeping up to claim him.
“Yeah, Judah? What do you need? What can I get you?”
“Just be here when I wake up, okay? You were right to send me away when you had to go to Avalon. This place is a hole. I was mad at you for a while, but I get it now.”
I leaned over and wrapped my arms around him, relishing the feel of my best friend. “I’m so sorry you were dragged into this. I love you so much. I don’t want this for you.”
“Ro?”
I tucked the comforter under his chin. “What can I do for you? Anything at all, you name it.”
Judah’s eyes were closed when he murmured, “I missed you, Hot Mama.”
I barked out a surprised laugh that Judah had the wherewithal to joke around in a situation like this. “Goodnight, Pimp Daddy.” I bent over his body and rested my head on his chest, grateful he was alive, and that somehow he’d managed to keep his quirky sense of humor when Avalon was intent on stamping out the good parts in the very best of people.
22
Kerdik’s Help
I released Judah when I was certain he was asleep. I felt Kerdik’s intense gaze on me, and turned to offer him a tired smile. Our horse had exhausted me on the way home, asking me every other minute if I was alright, the sweetie.
“Let’s get you clean.” Kerdik stood from his chair and moved behind the partition to fill my tub for me. Though I didn’t want to be parted from my clothes, I was filthy, and wanted to wash the molesting hands off of me. “Do you want help?” he offered when my hands slipped on my buttons.
I cast him what I hoped looked enough like a smile to pass as the real thing. “I think I’ve got this. Thanks, though. After I get in, you can come on back, if you want.”
He pressed his lips to mine in a closed-mouth gesture of sweetness. “I always want.” He waited until I was submerged to rejoin me, sitting on the floor next to the tub so we could be together. I shifted slowly in the water as I washed myself, listening to him talk about how Avalon used to be. “That sort of thing would never have happened. Urien had a hold of his men, and their only resounding cry was whatever he commanded. He was beloved because he was a decent man. A noble soul brings out the goodness in others. Morgan stamped out Urien, then took the army and twisted it, so that it’s unrecognizable now. Urien used to train with his men, letting himself be bossed by the captain, so the soldiers could see that he trusted the commander implicitly. The men fought that much harder to keep their king and his land safe.”
“That’s really beautiful. I wonder when it all changed.”
“Slowly over the years after Urien was put into his deep sleep. It all broke loose when Morgan doused a selection of her soldiers with the acid that made them rabid to obey her. Gave them extra strength and whatnot.”
I nodded, remembering the old Popeye dude that had started this whole mess way back when I’d lived in Common. “Super strength plus will control. Not sure how she pulled that one off.”
Kerdik and I shot the breeze, talking about how things used to be, and how he wished they were, admitting that was part of why he stayed away for so long. “When Urien was gone in his slumber, the land shifted. There was nothing for me to come back to, no one left I wanted to stay for.” His forearm draped over the lip of my tub, making himself at home in our very private moment. “Let me wash your back.”
My cheeks heated as I shook my head. The rose-ish smell of the petals he’d brewed my bath with were luscious and fragrant. The sun had set, so the flickering candles were the only light in the room, aside from the blue hue of the moon. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. You being back here behind the partition with me probably isn’t a good idea, come to think of it.”
“And yet, here I am.” He gazed into my eyes, and the only sound was the gentle lapping of the water as I shifted the soap around to wash my own back.
I chewed on my lower lip. “I used to have a hump, you know. Big time scoliosis.”
“I can’t imagine that.”
“Every time you look at me like I’m something special, I wonder if you would’ve given me the time of day back when I had no boobs, a hump, a lazy eye, and a face full of acne.”
“You’re the loveliest woman I’ve known, that’s for certain, but it was your spirit that sucked me in that first time we met. You were more concerned for my safety than you were for your own, and I was a mere stranger. Always their princess; always my queen.” Kerdik took a chance and dipped his fingers into the water to warm it for me, making me hmm contentedly. “Lane was prudent to hide your beauty, even though she didn’t know about the third birth blessing. Your sweet soul would have made you the loveliest woman in all of Common.”
“Prudent, yes. It was hard to grow up looking like that, though. So when men stare at me like I’m something to look at, I don’t know how to handle that kind of attention. I didn’t realize the downside of looking like this would be that some men would think they could just take me, like how the soldiers did.” I clenched my knees together under the water, and drew them to my chest. “I miss my hump and not having boobs. Guys left me alone in Common. I was the dude friend, and didn’t have problems like this.”
Kerdik reached through the water and found my hand, clasping my palm as if we were readying to arm-wrestle. “I adore you,” he whispered like a promise. “In whatever stage your body finally comes to me in, that will be the one I cherish. If I hadn’t given you my blood, and you were to age, my fetish would be white hair and wrinkles. Whatever you are, that’s what I love.”
My eyes misted over with the blinding red that turned a precious moment into something that spooked me. My movements became jerky in the tub when I couldn’t see anything. A whine of distress came over me until Kerdik’s thumbs washed the red away. When I opened my eyes, I only saw green. Kerdik’s face was close enough to kiss, and for a moment, I wanted to give in to the desire that never seemed to subside. I resisted, leaning my forehead to his so I could take in a few steadying breaths. “You can’t say beautiful things to me. I want to hear them too badly.”
He gripped the edge of the tub, and for a second, I thought he might tear his clothes off and climb in with me. He hesitated, and then sat back on his heels, giving us some much-needed space. “I need to wait out there for you. I’m afraid if I see you in the tub a moment longer, I’ll turn you into a dragon this very night.”
My eyes widened, but I said nothing as he stood and moved to the other side of the partition. I finished washing myself, and then tucked the thick towel around my body, tiptoeing out to find something to wear. Kerdik handed me one of Bastien’s flannels from our wardrobe, and I quirked my eyebrow at him. “Hello, you really want me to wear this? You threw a fit last time you saw me in it.”
“You belong to Bastien for now. Seeing you in his clothes will keep me from seducing yours off your creamy shoulders. I would have loved you in your Commoner state, but that you’ve come to me in such a succulent package? Immortal that I am, you forget that I’m a man. I’m not above temptation.” He held the shirt open for me to shove my arms through, and then turned me around so he could button me up over my towel. The terrycloth came free in a shake, and pooled at my feet on the floor. Kerdik shut his eyes in pain and took a step back. “Yes, that’ll do it.” He moved to the chair in the corner of the room and sat down in i
t, covering his face with his hands to exhale his exasperation into his palms.
Though he didn’t ever have thirst, being who he was, I poured him a cup of juice from the pitcher that had been brought in for me on my picked-over dinner tray. “Here, you look like you’ve had a long day.” I handed him the cup and moved over to the bed, making sure Judah hadn’t stirred, or kicked his covers off. I watched his chest rise and fall, reassuring myself that my bestie was okay. We had each other again, so somehow it would all be alright. “I need to go check on Lane, but I’m afraid if I leave Judah, he’ll be scared if he wakes up and I’m not here.” I kept my eyes from Kerdik. “C-could you help me write him a note?” I hated asking for help with something a second-grader could do. I shook my head, embarrassed and ashamed. “Never mind. I’ll just stay here.”
Kerdik stood and grabbed a quill and some parchment from a desk in the corner I’d never fully investigated. “After all we’ve been through, I can’t understand why you’re still hesitant to ask me for help with the simplest things.”
“It’s a huge hit to my self-esteem to admit to someone as powerful as you that I can’t do something any dummy can.”
Kerdik scribbled something on the page, and then read it to me. “Dear Judah, I’m in the northern corridor on the seventh floor in Lane’s chambers. I’ll be back soon, so don’t leave the room.”
“Can you cross out Judah and write ‘Pimp Daddy’? Then he’ll know it’s me who wrote it.”
Kerdik quirked his eyebrow at me, but complied. “Alright, done. Did you want to sign your name?”
I took the quill and haphazardly scribbled my off-kilter signature that was completely illegible, and bore no resemblance to my name, or any actual letters. The signature looked pretty to me, though, almost like a series of diamonds and loops with a squiggle on top.
Kerdik frowned down at it. “Well, he’s not going to know it’s you.” He quickly scrolled my name in no doubt perfect calligraphy. Judah would make a font out of Kerdik’s handwriting, and I’d be stuck in the back of the class with my head down, praying the teacher didn’t call on me.
I moved over to the wardrobe and slid on a pair of clean jeans, smirking when Kerdik held his elbow out to me, like a gentleman. He led me through the castle slowly, steering me around cracks in the floor where the stones didn’t meet. I felt like a lady, which was an incredible difference from how I’d been treated by the soldiers, and how I’d spent most of my life in Common. It dawned on me that Kerdik was learning to love – to give the affection he felt, rather than just be consumed by it. I stopped our progression and turned to stare up at him in the empty stone hallway that was lit only by the flame in his palm. “What’s wrong, darling?”
I didn’t respond right away, but lifted myself onto my tiptoes and looped my arms around his neck. I was worried I would say the wrong thing, so I was quiet for a few beats, choosing my words carefully. “You saved me,” I whispered in his ear. “Thank you. I don’t know what I would’ve done.”
His palm cupped the back of my head, holding me close so that our chests expanded together, and we breathed the same breath. “If I hadn’t saved you, I don’t know what I would’ve done.”
We walked in-step, his arm around me, and my hand on his chest as I was tucked tight to his side. Though I understood fully why people saw Kerdik as a monster, he was my monster, who treated me like a person when I felt like garbage. It’s a good man who can make you feel like a treasure when you’re certain you’re trash.
He led me the rest of the way to Lane’s room slowly, opening the door when the guard posted outside fell away without question. Kerdik was the infinite key to any door. He kept his arm around me as we walked in together to the sounds of quiet sobbing.
There was my Lane, still sporting a few fading bruises and too many cuts peppering her arms and face. She was wearing a sweater and a pair of Reyn’s pajama pants that swallowed her form. She was clinging to a damp, white handkerchief and crying with a quiet dignity in the safety of my father’s arms. I always forgot that they were brother and sister by law. To see her lean on anyone was a sight for sore eyes. She had lived such a difficult life, and had to bear much of that pain by herself.
My dad was tender to her, motioning us forward to let us know we were welcome to share in her suffering. My dad’s arms were strong and safe, and that’s what Lane needed right now. My heart ached, and though I wanted to turn away from the sight that was my best girlfriend in such pain, I dropped Kerdik’s embrace and ran to her, climbing into the bed so I could wrap my arms around my mom.
“I killed Avril,” Lane admitted in lieu of a greeting. It seemed as if her mind was skipping, picking off-topic thoughts that spewed out of her at random. “I wrote it in a note to send home to you, but it never made it here. I said that I loved you.” Her voice caught as she began sobbing. “I told you that I would get Avalon back on track, so that we could go back home and have our life. I miss us!”
“I miss us, too!” I admitted, doing my best not to tear up. I truly did long for nothing more than our simple life. The dance routines we made up to our favorite Spice Girls songs, the weird cookie recipe experiments, the road trips to unimpressive places that still managed to wow us because we were together. I missed it all.
Lane’s eyes were wet and ringed in red. Her nose was puffy, and I wondered how long she’d been crying. “I killed Avril for what she did to Avalon. I didn’t want it to come to that, but she’s dangerous!”
Urien held her tighter, nonplussed at her revelation. It looked like Lane had already told him this, and the confession now was for my benefit. “Avril had her fun. I know she stole the Jewels of Good Fortune from you and Roland for her own advantage, at the expense of the people who desperately needed their blessings. You killed her and took her jewel so you could provide for her people, who have already begun to come to our borders.”
“I can’t believe Reyn kept the gem hidden the whole time from those awful soldiers,” Lane hiccupped. “I shouldn’t have done it! I murdered my own sister! Who does that? I’m a horrible person!”
Urien shook his head. “No. You are a duchess who protects her people. Avril’s subjects are welcome here. There is no room for gray when it comes to protecting our people. Avril is either for us or against us. There cannot be mercy for the wicked when the safety of hundreds of thousands rests on our shoulders. You did the right thing.”
“The right thing doesn’t feel like this!” she protested.
Urien’s voice quieted. “The right thing must be done, no matter what it feels like. Avril did not represent Avalon as she should have. Her people are saved from her heavy taxes and from fear of her waging war on neighboring lands for more gain. They’re safe now. You did that for them.”
As soon as I made contact, Lane’s demure tears turned into howls of agony. I did my best to hold her together, but she was utterly broken. “This isn’t where your adventure ends,” I assured her as best I could. “Avril is not your adventure, and neither is Avalon.”
Lane bawled without chagrin. “I was so scared for you! You should never have come to find us! They almost… And then they… My baby!” She turned in my father’s embrace and threw her thinned arms around me, pulling me closer so she could make sure I was real.
“What did they do to you? What happened?”
Lane and Urien both shook their heads. “You can guess enough of what happened,” Lane explained. “I don’t want you to live with the details. It was awful and painful and scary, but I’m safe now.” She motioned to Kerdik, who was standing a socially safe distance from the bed. “You,” she breathed, dabbing at her face. It took some doing, but she managed to stumble out of the bed on unsteady legs, and then lowered herself to kneel at Kerdik’s feet. It was the strangest sight I’d seen in ages, and I couldn’t stop myself from gaping at my mom. Lane kept her chin tucked to her chest, humbling herself to the point of even making Kerdik uncomfortable. Her voice came out tremulous, but certain. “You saved
us. You saved my daughter. I owe you my life for what you spared my Rosie. Thank you, Master Kerdik. Thank you.”
The sight of my mom on her knees before my… whatever Kerdik was to me was so unnatural that I couldn’t look away. Even stranger was when Kerdik lowered his head and placed his hand on her freshly washed hair. “Always know that if I am here, your daughter will be safe.”
Lane let out a sob of relief as she butted the crown of her head to his knee. “Thank you.”
It was too much for me, my hand over my mouth and worry on my face that this was what life had done to my Lane. Kerdik seemed to sense my disquiet, so he offered his hand to my mother, helping her to stand before him. He shot her several unsure glances before opening up his arms to her. “May I?”
Though it wasn’t the gust of relief I usually crashed into him with, Lane slowly let herself get swallowed by the respectful hug he offered. Her voice came out pinched, on the verge of more tears. “I don’t know everything in life, but I know that the man who puts clothes on my daughter and on me is someone this world can’t survive without. I needed your magic out there, but I also needed someone to be kind and clothe me. You… You were… And then you…” Her composure broke as she blubbered on his shoulder. “I didn’t want anyone to see me like that!”
Kerdik’s palm gently moved up and down her back as he shushed her. “I didn’t see a thing, and neither did Link. Your daughter is safe, and no one will lay a hand on you in my presence.” He tucked his finger under her chin so she had to look up at him through damp lashes. “Say, ‘I trust you, Master Kerdik.’”
“I trust you, Master Kerdik.”
Untouchable Girl: A Fantasy Adventure (Faite Falling Book 6) Page 12