An Alpha's Desire

by Amarie Avant

“Wow! That is astounding. I've been told you personally have visited some of these countries to build homes and community centers?”

  I nod slowly. “Yeah, but I thought this celebration was strictly for man's favorite childhood toy…planes.”

  Again, the crowd laughs.

  “Sure it is, but you used planes to get there.” The president piggy backs on my joke.

  We stand there for a while longer. Desire rises, leaving a very smiley Rebecca at the table. She starts for the exit.

  “… Daniel?” The man urges me to continue.

  “Too many beautiful women around,” I begin, tuning back into the president while staring at Rebecca. Her eyes are on me now and don’t even disengage when she reaches over to grab a half full champagne flute from the table. She tossed back someone else's drink and then another.

  Five minutes pass. My smile is hard, waiting for the discussion to end.

  Ten minutes later, the floor had been opened for questions. My fingers are crossed that my sister has met with Desire outside of the hall.

  I’ve answered a few questions, and then Juliet and Lee enter the room. I give her the look. She glances around and shrugs.

  “Pardon me.” I walk off the stage at that to a sea of confused faces. I can almost see my grandfather shake his head. The image fades as the thought of Desire leaving forces my teeth to grind.

  “What the hell did you say to her?” Juliet argues with Rebecca.

  “Forget Becky,” I say to Juliet, nudging my chin to Rebecca. My priority is Desire. “We have to find, Des.”

  “Okay. Lee is already looking around,” Juliet replies as I press the bar against the double doors. The doors swoosh open.

  “Where'd he check?”

  “Um, he said she might have visited the waterfall out back.”

  “All right, check the ladies room then call me. I'll try out front.”

  I dial Desire's number, stepping toward the front exit. The call rings and rings.

  The glass slides open. The voicemail comes on as I start outside.

  “Fuck!” I throw my arm outward like a professional pitcher but think twice before chucking the phone.

  “Probably a bad idea.” Desire's voice travels from my left side. “You're too much in demand to go off the grid entirely.”

  I stop, turn, and there she is. In the dark, seated at a dedication bench next to the entrance.

  “I thought you left.” I sit next to her and caress her cheek. She's heated. The anger is radiating. I am too. “Des, what did my cousin tell you?”

  “Nothing much.” Desire shrugs.

  “What did she say?” I enunciate each word.

  “I just told you, nothing much. Soon as she walked up, I could read just how messy she was. She called me something that black people have no issue calling each other.” Desire chortles, in thought. “I suppose with a different pronunciation of the word.”

  I know instantly that Rebecca called her the n-word. Rubbing a hand over my face, I growl. That fucking bitch.

  “Daniel, how does she interact with Juliet?” Desire asks, seemingly out of the blue. “And her parents? How do they interact with your sister, your colored sister?”

  “Why are you worried about Jules?”

  “I'm a grown ass woman. That haggard, uneducated girl in there can shit talk all she'd like. Rebecca is living proof that age is nothing but a number. But, I don't matter. I just can't wrap my head around your family and how they treat Juliet.”

  “You do matter.” I grab for Desire’s hand.

  “I'm not yours.” She softly pushes away my efforts. “Not outside of the bedroom—at least until I’m feeling settled. Baby, I’m sorry. I feel like an asshole, but at this moment I’m having doubts. You fuck me well, and love my body even harder. Nevertheless, something tells me that our future only includes lots of orgasms on both our parts. I’d like to believe more, so please… tell me that I’m tripping. Tell me that I’m wrong.”

  My heart sinks. In this moment, I cannot clear her mind of all doubt. There’s nothing in the way of me loving her. Fuck Wentworth’s contract, though I can’t fathom how she’ll think of me when learning of his contract. “So, you don't see a future with me?”

  “Daniel, I cannot love you and hate your family. You are the most wonderful man I have ever met in my entire life, but I am a stickler about the in-laws.”

  I snicker, rubbing my neck. “What the fuck do I have to do to hear those words?”

  Desire arises. “I'm not arguing with you. I… I…”

  I stand before her, the streetlamp illuminating the tears in her eyes.

  “I'm big on family, Daniel. I've got deep feelings for you. No matter my affections, your family won't like mine. Obviously, they don't claim Juliet. Please stop me if I’m wrong.”

  You’re spot on. “My family isn't racist, Desire. Not my parents nor my grandparents. Juliet could have come out blue or a white girl with auburn hair…she just wasn't a Rutledge. Added is the fact that my mother had an affair while married. Things might have been different if Celine hadn’t committed suicide.”

  “Okay, I'll take that. Wentworth marched with women who wanted to be pilots and I read a bit of the history about how he was involved in the fight for desegregation in schools, but apparently your family treated Juliet like dirt because she isn't blood. Celine died leaving her child in their care… I don't know what to make of that because my family has their own grievances too. My family will be enraged by how you and I became us.”

  “They know about Azalea’a business?” I bite my knuckle.

  “A little. She's always been an entrepreneur. And your family, Daniel. Don't forget that.”

  “Juliet is my only living family besides our Mama Odessa. Rebecca is a deranged drug addict. Her parents don't harbor the same feelings she has. Besides the stock in Titan Aerospace, they don't bother anyone. They're Adventists. They live in California and they've washed their hands of her after all they've done to help her. Rebecca doesn't reflect the Rutledges regardless of my family’s faults.”

  Desire tugs her bottom lip into her mouth. “All right. I’d like to continue cultivating a relationship with your family, Daniel. I care so much for you, and you say you love me…”

  “But,” I wave her on, “Desire, tell me your reservations, sweetheart.”

  “But, every August I am a year older, and my birthday just keeps coming.” She chortles almost as if she wishes time would stop. “Remember that night at Asahi Shark?”

  “Our first date? That was a wonderful night.”

  “Humph, our first date. Yeah, it was wonderful. We celebrated a birthday with a man and his wife and his closest friends. Not to say that I see myself married in two months, but Daniel, you aren’t blocking me from a future, are you? The future of marriage and children?” Her gaze searches mine.

  “No,” I respond all too quickly, recalling Ephraim’s proposal about children. “The only person blocking you from a future is you. Your future is with me, Desire.” I pull her into my arms. “You are my future. I’m yours.”

  “And you’d like children?”

  “Of course. At least two. I won’t have my child growing up alone without a sibling or have such an extensive age difference as Juliet and I.”

  “That’s a preference for me too.”

  The rough padding of my thumb caresses Desire’s jaw. I tip her chin. Her gaze seeks mine, eyes glossed with tears.

  “Des, what else? I will not leave you alone, but babe, you’re still outside of my reach.”

  She tries to look away, chewing her lip, but I keep hold of her chin. “Well, Sia inquired about us tonight. I’m sure she’s not the only celebrity reporter interested.”

  “Keep talking.”

  Desire huffs. Her face has never looked more innocent than it does tonight. “Before the media digs into our relationship, I’d prefer if you met my parents.”

  “When? Anytime you’d like,” I assure her.

  “The d
ay after the jet launch. If your schedule won’t permit it—”

  “I’ll do anything for you, Des. Fuck my schedule. We can head to Los Angeles right now,” I assure her. The thought of Desire leaving me a few minutes ago made me feel like a sinking ship.

  Desire smiles. “That’s quite all right. My mother always has something for the first Saturday of the summer. My dad has a big surgery scheduled for the twenty-sixth this year, so two days after is perfect.”

  I pull her into my arms. Fuck me, the day after the launch truly is perfect. Against Ephraim’s wishes, I intended to claim Desire in front of a network of millions of viewers. Now, the media can continue to speculate while I woo her parents.

  While the Levine law firm searches for a way out, my people just have to keep an eye on Rebecca Christly.

  Desire

  It’s the morning after the museum event. I cling to Daniel. He held me last night into the wee hours. No sex. No attempt either. Was it the perfect time to declare my adoration for him? My love? Pavarotti’s “Caruso” weaves through my mind as I nudge myself closer to him, needing desperately to say the words to him.

  Do I still have reservations about declaring my love?

  My cell phone pings and I roll away from Daniel’s strong body. My bare feet are soundless as I move across the plush carpet toward the sliding glass door and open it. I plop down onto the cushiony couch and pull the cashmere blanket draped over the side onto my lap. Today is gonna be a scorcher. For now, a breeze bristles the hair on my forearms as I read a text message from Riley.

  RILEY: I have a game 2nite.

  ME: Awesome—

  As I’m typing, the screen lights up. My aunt Azalea is calling.

  I answer. “Good morning, auntie.”

  “Mi amor, I’ve been thinking about you all week. Around this time each year, we’re planning a trip to a spa resort,” Azalea says. “But I saw you on the news this morning. You and Daniel are simply gorgeous together. I’m jealous.” She laughs.

  My first instinct is a mild level of suspicion, especially after our last argument. But I mumble, “Thank you.”

  “So, the press doesn’t have any other photos from you aside from the event you attended last night? And I just love the two of you’s response to Ms. Sia. That woman wished so much it was herself at Daniel’s side, playing coy about such a hot relationship. So, tell me, Desire, where did you all wake up this morning?”

  I rub the back of my neck. Shit, my aunt seeks for me to mention somewhere at least a continent away. “Um, we’re still in Dallas. In fact, this is where we’ve been the entire time.”

  “Oh…”

  “Auntie, what's with the tone?”

  “Tsk, perhaps I should reserve a spot for us at this resort I found in Martha’s Vineyard, just for the weekend…”

  Her comment is so infuriating that I stop myself from referring to her as The Madame, since nobody owns me and she’s my goddamn blood. So, I stress the words, “Auntie, I actually like it here. Had Daniel whisked me away to a place with sandy white beaches or lush green grass, I would probably consider myself as an extension of your company.”

  “Excuse me? Where the heck did all of that come from?”

  “That came from a grown ass woman who needs no advice. But if you must, I have a question too. What are you insinuating, auntie? No beating around the bush.”

  “Girl, stop reading more into what I’ve offered. I just mentioned a fucking weekend getaway as we’ve become accustomed to since your eighteenth birthday, Desirenda, damn! For over a decade, the two of us have had our custom.”

  “No, auntie, your tone spoke exceedingly and further than that wide mouth of yours ever could.”

  She sighs heavily. “Okay. Okay, Desire. You are the daughter I never had. I’m set in my ways, but being wined and dined in Sydney is untouchable. You aren’t aware of such because you’re not allowing yourself that chance. Tell Daniel what you want!”

  I scoff.

  She continues and her groveling isn’t as selfish as before. “I love you, Desire. Forgive me for looking out for you. So, he took you to his home. Does he love you?”

  My throat is heavy as I respond, “Yes, he said he does. I believe him.”

  “And you’ve said the words, yes?”

  “Not yet.”

  “Good girl.”

  “Oh, don’t pat yourself on the back for writing the she-alpha romance manual. I haven’t said ‘I love you’ to Daniel because of the things you’ve tried to teach me in the past, Auntie. Not because I believe your credo. And just so you’re up to speed, I haven’t now nor have I ever needed to be trained in the art of love.”

  “Sheesh, Desire. I forgot how overanalytical you are at times. Do you love him, though?”

  “Yes.” I wipe away a stray tear that I hadn’t known was there until it trickled down my cheek.

  “What are you waiting for?”

  I hesitate. At times, there’s no separating Azalea from The Madame; they are one in the same. Is she my concerned family? Inquiring because she loves me and hopes that this situation between Daniel and I will work out? I switch subjects. “I’m taking Daniel home soon.”

  “Oh, to your mother’s beginning of summer bash that I’m never invited to? Well, that’d be nice. Your mother will love him, long as I’m not mentioned in the same sentence. Daniel met you through Elite,” she assures.

  Not sure what my mother and her sister-in-law’s issues stems from, I reply, “Now, that advice I will take, thank you. And no, I won’t mention you.” My lips tremble into a weak smile. “Guess if Daniel and I make it through the long haul, nobody will get to know the true story of how we met.”

  “Don’t sound so sad about it, Desire.” She jokes, “At least you’re not me. Remember my clandestine affair with that prince of Monaco when you were a teen?”

  “Yeah, I recall. He was the one.”

  “Oh, you’ve told me that more times than I can count, Desire. I love you lots, but there is no man on God’s green earth that I would consider spending the rest of my life with. Now, I will conveniently stay away when you bring Daniel home next week. Your mother will love him because you love him.”

  Her motivation sinks into my spirit. I pull in a lungful of air. We chat for a few more minutes, the conversation not nearly as tense as before, and then we hang up. The iPhone returns to the text message screen with Riley and I finish my comment.

  ME: Awesome. How has practice been?

  A nanosecond later, he responds.

  RILEY: G8.

  We text back and forth—him, conceited about his game and me, joking at his expense but ultimately just to start an emoji war. I giggle and text with him, then ask if his mother’s attending his next competition. Up until now, our text messages are streaming nonstop. Yet the iPhone message tinkers for a while. Either Riley has much to say or he’s second guessing the words he’s typed.

  RILEY: (Think Emoji) she has to work.

  I huff, sinking back onto the cushioned chair.

  Since I’ve been away, Riley has texted videos of his basketball games. My responses are encouraging. Now I contemplate on Lauren; she’s hardly the topic of discussion between her son and I. Since I’ve been away, she hasn’t made a single peep. The two of us haven’t attempted to reach out to the other, and I have the notion that she wouldn’t mind if I never came home. Probably won’t have a problem as long as the utilities are paid and there’s no foreclosure sign on the door.

  I smirk. Stop being bourgeoisie, Desire, I tell myself. While scrolling through my iPhone contacts, I say a silent prayer. Due to our recent strained conversations, I beg God to help me talk to her. “Hey, Lauren. How you doing, girl?”

  “Good. I’m… at work.”

  I pull the phone away for a second and cock my head. “Wow, you’re usually a night owl. You working overtime or something?”

  “Something like that.”

  “That’s good,” I say, feeling the discussion taper out. It’s
odd how far apart we’ve grown. The disconnect is tangible. I haven’t seen her in a week, yet there’s nothing on my mind to say except to ask about her saving for an apartment. How do I edge my way into that question if Lauren and I cannot carry on a decent conversation? It would seem like I pulled that question out of my ass, bringing it up now.

  “So, um, I’ll be home at the end of the month.”

  “Okay.”

  “How is the apartment hunt?” I cringe. Yeah, that pretty much sounds like the sole purpose of my call is to get rid of her.

  “I've put in a few applications.”

  Again, she makes no attempt to keep the conversation going.

  “Is everything okay, Lauren?”

  “Hey, it's just that…I wish I had the money to rent a better apartment, somewhere out of the hood, you know? Some idiot already took those goddamn shoes you just had to buy Riley after he got out of basketball camps the other day.”

  “Somebody took Riley’s shoes?” Damn it, Riley didn’t mention that to me.

  “Yes. Look, my lunch break is almost over, I’ve gotta go.” Lauren disconnects the call before I'm able to utter one more word.

  After a huff, I dial Riley.

  “Hey, Mama Desire.”

  “Hey, baby. I just spoke with your mom. Did someone steal your shoes?”

  “Huh?”

  “Boy, don’t huh me! Did some thug steal your shoes?”

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  “What do you mean ‘yeah, I guess’? The proper answer is a ‘yes’ or ‘no’, Riley. Contrary to the culture in your current environment, I need your black ass to speak with proper English.”

  He’s silent for a second, and then he says, “Yes.”

  I chew on my bottom lip, and then we end up speaking at the exact same time. Riley begins with, “Mama Desire, I have something to tell…”

  And I say, “Good morning, baby,” just as Daniel peeks his head outside. Into the receiver of the phone I say, “Just a second, Riley.”

  Daniel whispers, “Sweetheart, we’re on a time crunch.”

  “What?” I pull the phone away from my ear and say, “It’s Sunday. There’s nothing on your agenda for today.”