by Amarie Avant
“I was a baby when he wrote it. Odessa gave it to me after he died. Right before I left for Shanghai for college.”
‘Dear Juliet,
I wish I had the strength to love you.’ I pause, taken aback by his choice of words for the young woman he never treated like a daughter. The cursive is very neat and there are water splotches where I have no doubt Juliet cried on.
… You may not believe it, but somewhere deep down inside I probably do. I cannot look into your eyes without being reminded of how much love means. I see your beautiful mother through you. One day, hopefully I’ll pull myself away from a bottle of whiskey long enough to tell you about her. I met Zoya a long time ago, in the Dominican Republic long before my parents forced Celine into my life. If it’s any consolation, it’s hard for me to connect with Daniel. He’s pretty much my father’s son—the son Nolan should have had. What I never aspired to be. Daniel and his mother belong to a world I cannot be part of.
But you, you came about after years and years of your mother, Zoya, pushing me away, telling me to take my white ass back to America. She’d tell me in her hypnotizing Dominican accent to scram—and other not so nice words…
I cannot read fast enough. Wentworth II tells about an untouchable love and how he never got enough of Zoya. I work the scenario in my head. The Rutledge’s are true royalty. Celine was offered to him. Wentworth I’s contract constituted that Daniel’s father had to marry this woman, Celine. He did it to stay in good standing with his father and the contract. Then Zoya finally gave Wentworth II the time of day, and that accounts for Daniel only seeing his father during grand galas and Celine’s depression. Sheesh, where does the whiskey and being inebriated come in?
I continue to read, and learn that after Zoya died in childbirth, he turned into a monster. He taunted Celine, hated her for living when his true love had died.
“I just don’t understand, you are a Rut–”
“I am not a fucking,” her voice lowers, “Rutledge, Desire. Don’t say that shit. Don’t say it.”
Both of our eyes are filled with tears. I grab the double shot on my side of the table and gag it all down my throat. “So what the heck happened?”
“Half my life, I believed I was Celine’s love child and shit, I was so young when Wentworth II died. I swear I can still recall the way he looked at me. The avoidance. Odessa said that Celine had become pregnant around the same time my … my… this other lady, Zoya, got pregnant. Celine was vindictive, saying if Wentworth II had another child, she’d have another one by him too.”
“Okay…” I stifle my judgement for Celine. It had to be hard married to a man who didn’t love her. I imagine royalty, marrying a prince you never set eyes on. It’s all the luck of the draw. Those are the woes of the Rutledges.
“And Celine, I guess, learned that being spiteful does nothing to someone who has not a care in the world. After Celine started to show, she thought she’d get over on my father. Odessa wouldn’t tell me the rest. My mama never likes to talk about crazy, bad stuff.” Juliet shrugs. “Faith, Odessa’s older sister, says that Celine took some pills when she was about nine months. The baby was a stillbirth. Since she was so crazy about being pregnant, I don’t think anyone ever knew that she killed her baby. My father came home with me around the same time Faith and one of the servants got rid of the other baby. Fuck, guess I’m glad I wasn’t that woman’s child. What a fucking wimp. Celine could give a fuck about Daniel. They all—every last one of those Rutledges— could give a fuck about us.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to remind her that the same blood is running through her veins. I notice Juliet is digging her fingers into her wrist. “Jules, sis, what are you doing?”
She shakes her head and stops. “I get like that sometimes. Lee hates when I do.”
“Please don’t hurt yourself, Jules. Open the Bible. I will speak with Angelique about seeing you. She’s an MFT.”
“I know, she’s nice. I read my Bible sometimes.” She huffs. “Look, I haven’t opened this silly letter since I headed off to college. Read it once, cried over it while drinking saké. Then I forgot all about it until this past summer. Outta sight, outta mind.”
Her discomfort makes me uncomfortable, so I change the subject. “What happened to Zoya…what’s her last name?”
Juliet scoffs. “Well, guess that woman wasn’t as strong as Wentworth II let on, either if she died while giving birth to me. But, nobody knows. Celine stayed stuck in her room in Rutledge Manor. I can only expect that Daniel’s grandfather wreaked havoc when his son brought me home. Faith says that’s how the gossip came about that Celine took a lover. I’m sure my doting father didn’t claim me. He spun it so that Celine would be at fault. Didn’t want his infinite well of funds to run dry.”
Shit, Wentworth I must have not been brought up to speed on the gossip about his half-colored grandchild. Juliet truly is blood. “Juliet, you have to tell Daniel.”
She rubs her face. I feel awful for urging her to tell especially when it seems like Wentworth II never did get the courage to look at his daughter.
Damn, I’m unhelpful in this regard. Daniel’s family is teeming with secrets, and my gut tells me that the Rutledges have more skeletons.
Juliet breathes heavily. “I really do need to tell Daniel, don’t I? He told me about that bitch, Rebecca. See? All those Rutledges, filled with greed and hatred. Ephraim has been harassing me since Dallas. He and Lee almost got into a fight about it.”
“Oh.” I comprehend the tension fully now. It wasn’t Ephraim flirting; he was hounding her to come clean.
Daniel
I have your way out…
Ephraim Levine is so fucking sure of himself. He’d said it was the lead he had six months ago. It’s the week before Thanksgiving and Odessa is in town. The dining table is engulfed by food. Not an inch of space is left. Odessa cooked everyone’s favorite and that includes Ephraim’s and Lee’s too. I tell her as much when I sit down.
“That’s perfectly fine, Daniel. We’ll just pack a few plates and feed somebody down the hill,” she says.
As head of the table, I gesture for everyone to bow their heads. Desire is head at the opposite side with Juliet cater-corner to her. During dinner, there’s a sidebar conversation at the other end of the table. Juliet and Desire continue to whisper to each other. Lee also gets into their hushed discussion every once in a while.
Juliet’s back is to me since she’s pretty much turned toward Desire. She stiffens as I ask, “What’s going on down there?”
“Maybe we’re talking about your thirty-fourth birthday.” Juliet grins.
“Speaking of celebrations.” Ephraim stands. “I brought non-alcoholic wine from Trader Joe’s.”
“Bummer,” Juliet grumbles.
“Girl, you won’t be alive to see your birthday come April. Keep it up,” Odessa warns as Ephraim leaves the dining room.
He returns a few minutes later with wine glasses and two bottles. “All it is, is glorified grape juice, but it’ll get the job done,” he tells Juliet, patting her silky, sandy-brown hair.
She flicks away his brotherly pawing. Once we’re all served, Ephraim says, “Daniel, this is to your way out.” He holds out his wine glass. “Oh, Jules, stand up. I can’t do it without you.”
“Do what?” I inquire as her eyeballs protrude from her eyes. “Eph, I said do what? What’s going on?”
“Before I left the firm this afternoon to fly here, I had an addendum written up. Juliet, stand up, sis. Tell ‘em the good news.”
“Ephraim, you douchebag.” Lee rises.
Desire grabs Juliet’s hands. “Don’t do that, Jules.” Her voice is barely audible over Ephraim and Lee’s arguing about Juliet ‘not being ready.’
“Don’t do what?” I bark.
“She’s fucking hurting herself, Ephraim, you jackass!” Desire shouts. “She isn’t ready yet.”
The glass breaks in my hands. I'm unaware how tightly I was holding it until tiny pieces fall onto
the tablecloth. “Somebody tell me what the fuck is going on now!”
“Okay!” Juliet shouts, shooting from her seat. “I clearly can’t keep it from you any longer, Daniel. And I honestly can’t fathom how it took so long for me to tell you.”
“Juliet isn’t Celine’s daughter. She’s your father’s child,” Ephraim blurts, fist swinging into the air. “This was your way out from day one! Daniel, I love Jules like a fucking sister, so I’ve been waiting for her to tell the truth.”
“Fuck you, Eph!” Juliet screeches.
“Aw, baby.” Odessa comes around the table to rub her back.
Lee and Juliet leave the room with Odessa in tow. Desire gives Ephraim one last glower. “You really just had to shout that, huh?”
“Just doing my job,” he calmly defends himself.
“Whatever. That was a dick move,” she argues.
He downs the entire glass of wine and leans back in his chair, content with being the bad guy.
I speak up. “Ephraim, you have nothing to celebrate about, bro. We’re back to square fucking one. If Juliet didn’t want to tell me, then I am not allowing you to flaunt her business in litigation.”
“There’ll be no litigation. We sign your fifty-seven percent over to her. Viola!”
“All right, when she’s ready to tell me the dynamics, I’ll ask. If she doesn’t, then Eph, your ass and your fucking team better ante the fuck up. I’m not putting my sister through hell. She hates my family, bro. The only consolation to this is I’m able to put some of the puzzle pieces together. My father was a whore. Celine’s baby is… somewhere only God knows. But the fucking kicker? My grandfather Wentworth mustn’t have known Juliet wasn’t Celine’s love child, so he kept his sordid will in place. Wentworth the fucking first is probably looking up from hell, gnashing his fucking teeth, and not due to the heat.” I grin for a moment. It’s an inappropriate time, but fuck his ass.
“Are you serious?” Ephraim says.
“Fuck yeah.” I stymie my emotions. Did Juliet really just try to hurt herself? Does the thought of being a Rutledge bring her that much pain and despair?
Ephraim shakes his head, walking out.
“I’m glad you’re looking out for Juliet. She really needs it right now.” Desire tosses a thumb over her shoulder. “I’m gonna go see how she is.”
I grip her arm before she can flee. ‘You knew?”
“Yes, for only a few weeks… Juliet has felt awful about this secret.”
“We are a team, Desire. I’m very disappointed in you, Sweetheart.” I let her go. And we both search out Juliet.
###
Out front, Lee has his arms around Juliet. There are tears streaming down her face as Odessa, whose back is to me, seems to be talking to her. His protective stance forces me to feel nothing but admiration for him.
When my little sister notices me, her crying is harder. “Aw, Daniel, I should have told you years ago,” she wails.
“What are your plans?” Lee asks. He’s her fiancé and it wouldn't be the first time Juliet needed defending from her own blood.
My voice is hollow with a mixture of disappointment that Juliet would even welcome the notion of me using her. “Jules, have I ever forced you to do anything you don’t want to do?”
“No, but—”
“Then I will not start now.”
“Listen to me, Daniel.” She finally unwraps herself from Lee’s arms. “I’m a liar!”
“Damn, I can’t even call you ‘fat head’ anymore,” I say, rubbing her silky hair as she hugs me. She bubbles up in laughter and then cries harder.
“Lee, can you tell him?” she stutters, wiping away tears.
He folds his arms and then raises them to the heavens. “All right, I’ll tell them.”
I offer him my attention.
“Juliet and I aren’t engaged.” His voice is sullen, full of regret.
I rub my chin, yet somewhere the relief I sought with hoping they’d break up isn’t there. Yeah, I was sorely wrong about Lee. I misjudged him from the start because he wasn’t just a piece of meat for Juliet.
Lee says, “Jules just likes to get under your skin. So for her, what better way to do that than…”
“I used Lee, but I have fallen in love with him,” Juliet says, clinging back to him.
“I’ve always been in love with her, from day one,” he mumbles.
She grimaces. “Yeah, he’s always been perfect… better than I thought or could even expect.”
I bite my tongue from telling Juliet that nobody is good enough for her. That’s the Rutledge way, but she doesn’t grasp our ways.
Juliet nods toward Desire. “It was somewhere along the lines when I told you the story about how we met, Des. Girl, I fought it. Lee is hot, so of course I didn’t fight too hard. But love? Who would love me?”
Hand balled into a tight fist, I bite my knuckle. Odessa sighs heavily.
“You guys.” Juliet grabs my hand and Odessa’s. “I love you, duh! But a man’s love, the type of affection that a young girl sees first transpire between her mother and father; that was never there.”
I hear a tiny whimper coming from Desire before her head nestles against my shoulder. Damn, I recollect on the moment Desire told me I wasn’t Juliet’s father, couldn't be her father, and that I’d been the best brother I could.
“Ahem.” Ephraim clears his throat. We all glance back at him. His eyes are sunken in, head lowered. He’s distraught about this but I have the notion to slug him in the face. “Jules, you are family to me. Will you forgive me? And you too, Lee. You were right about giving her time.”
Lee looks toward Juliet. She nods. “Come here, dummy. I still love you too.”
She hugs him.
Lee shrugs. “You’re forgiven.”
For an instant, we’re all a happy family. The mechanic wiring of my brain tells me that I should figure out how to get Juliet’s consent to sign over Titan Aerospace stock. Yet the love I have for her tells me to allow her time, if she’s willing…
Daniel
“Happy birthday, baby,” Desire says. I close my eyes and imagine that she’s lying beside me in our bed. But it’s almost midnight in Morocco and it's afternoon here. I couldn’t get away due to arguments between Rebecca’s attorneys and mine, and my woman will be home tomorrow evening after completing the events for Moroccan royalty who insisted upon a three-day celebration.
“Tell me what you’re wearing,” I order.
“Well, as we speak, I’m walking into the hotel room I have now. Pulling off my stilettos. In a black dress.”
“Leave the shoes, take off the dress,” I say. “Did you leave the room without panties, like I insisted?”
“Daniel,” she huffs, her voice muffled for a second as she’s no doubt undressing. “I don’t feel appropriate doing so without you around.”
“You’ve already worked your way up to ten smacks on that ass once you get home. My guess is you love the pain so much, you desire more?”
“One day I’ll have to interest you in nipple clamps,” she jokes.
“Nah, I’m an ass man, Des. Is there a mirror across from your bed?”
“Of course. But the clamps were for you.”
“Ha! Go sit at the edge of your bed, sweetheart.”
A few seconds later, she says, “Done.”
“Hold your cell in your opposite hand. Place your hand in the panties I forbade you to wear. Stroke your clit for me.”
Without hesitation, I know she’s obedient. Her voice is hypnotic, lush as she asks, “Are you stroking your cock?”
“Are you stroking your cock, what?”
“Master, damn it. Daniel, we aren’t in the bedroom.”
“Technically, we are.”
“So are you jacking off, Master?” Her sexy tone is feisty.
I ignore her inquiry. “The television is paused on your beautiful face,” I tell her. It’s on the Mob Mistresses episode where she appeared in a tight white dress that
clung to every curve. “Imagine me there, right beside you. Remove your panties, Desire. I need you to get off, so wet that you become fucking sticky, beautiful. Look in the mirror as you do so, and keep your legs wide. You have the most gorgeous pussy I’ve ever set eyes on.”
Her moaning becomes heavy and I’m aware that she’ll do exactly what I say, no divergence.
“Continue to stroke your clit. I’m right there with you, beautiful.”
“Master, I need you inside of me.”
“You do, but I’m stroking my cock. It’s the only way. I can’t take my eyes off that beautiful pussy of yours, Des.”
“Mmmm…”
“Don’t stop,” I order. “Continue to stroke that sweet little clit. You aren’t ready for penetration. But, I on the other hand, I can’t fucking control myself while looking at your curvy body.”
“Daniel…”
“Hush! You’re stuck at the fucking brink, sweetheart. I’m gonna fucking come, but you’re stuck right there, and I haven’t told you, you could touch me.”
“But I need your cock inside of me, Master.”
“I’m standing before you, jerking faster, fisting my cock and I can’t control myself any longer. Imagine me reaching orgasm, ejaculating all over you. Your face, your mouth, your tits and glossing that sweet pussy.”
“Daniellll,” she calls out.
“You’re coming, aren’t you?”
“I’m sorry.”
“That’s quite all right, beautiful, I knew you would. Now, do me a favor sweetheart. Actually two.”
“Anything.”
“Dip your finger in that gorgeous pussy. Take a selfie of you, licking those sweets off your fingers. Text it to me. Once I get it, I’ll give your last command.”
“Okay, Master.”
My phone vibrates in my palm. I toggle to the text app, and there’s my lovely Desire. Her tongue is twined around her glossy index finger. “Perfect.”
“Thank you. What’s next?”
“I love your enthusiasm. Pull out your rollaway luggage, the mid-sized one, and open the side compartment.”