Loosen Up

by Robin Leaf

  Bryan moved to the edge of our couch with elbows on his knees and his head hung. I sat close in our overstuffed chair, letting her take the wheel at explaining all we’d been through to Bryan.

  “I’m so sorry, Ally.”

  “Don’t be.” She turned her body toward him, dragging her knees under her. “I’m the one who screwed up. It’s not your fault.”

  “But I know how badly we… you wanted this, lass.” He reached over to pat her knee. “What are your other options?”

  She swallowed. “Well, we can choose a donor from a sperm bank. The doctor provided some brochures on how to get started with that process.” She sighed. “Which means Darby and I have to agree on a donor, and then we have to wait for the samples to arrive. Plus, there’s the wait until I’m ovulating again, which means another month…”

  “And you don’t want to wait,” he stated.

  She smiled. “Not if I don’t have to.”

  His eyes found mine briefly over my wine glass.

  He closed his eyes tightly, as if preparing for one of Ally’s gut kicks. “And the second option would be…” He turned his attention back to Allison to see her reaction.

  She paused, pursed her lips, and swallowed. “Well,” she ran her fingers across her lips. “The second option would be… doing this the natural way.”

  He stood and faced her fully. “Am I safe to assume you mean have sex?”

  She looked up at him nervously. “Yes.”

  He nodded, staring a second before asking, “And just who would you expect to have it with?”

  Her eyes met mine briefly before looking back up at him. “Well, you.”

  “That’s what I thought.” He walked to the kitchen, picked up the bottle of wine I’d opened, and drank straight from it.

  “I’m guessing you want this to happen soon?”

  Ally nodded. “I took an ovulation test this morning. It’s tonight or tomorrow, then my window of fertility is closed this month.”

  He took another swallow. “So you want to do this… now.” Another non-question.

  She blinked but nodded again.

  He looked at me. “Are you okay with me having sex with her?”

  I narrowed my eyes. “I’ll be there, Bryan. We planned to do all of this together.”

  He blinked.

  “Don’t get too excited there, Ace,” Ally clarified. “You won’t be doing anything with her, just me.”

  He ran his hand over his head and leaned on the counter. “You know, when we joked in the beginning about this very scenario, I never thought it would be an actual possibility. I wasn’t angling for this or…”

  I chuckled. “We know that, B.”

  Allison shifted nervously. I could tell she was about to demand an answer. I reached over, grabbed her hand, and started massaging.

  “Just give him a minute,” I whispered. “We agreed. No pressure, remember?”

  I held her eyes, reminding her to breathe. She inhaled deeply and exhaled twice and nodded.

  “Good?” I asked.

  “Yeah, thanks.”

  Bryan appeared in front of us with his hand outstretched.

  Allison looked up at him confused. “Wha…”

  “C’mon, let’s go make a baby.”

  She looked shocked and took his hand. He gently pulled her to standing and searched her eyes.

  “You okay, lass?” he asked quietly, looking at her with adoration.

  Only one person had ever looked at me like that.

  I watched their exchange closely, really taking notice of the look of reverence on Bryan’s face as he studied her.

  This meant more to him than just making a baby.

  Holy shit! Bryan is in love with Allison.

  And it was not going to end well.

  “Bryan,” I said, touching his arm, “Can you give us a minute?”

  His eyes flicked in my direction. “Sure, Darby.” Squeezing her hand, he winked. “I need to go drain the anaconda, anyway.”

  “He just can’t resist being that way, can he?” She turned her attention to me. “What’s up, sweetie?”

  I smiled sadly. “Babe…”

  Her eyebrows shot up, and she almost seemed excited. “If you’re about to say no to this because you think you will be jealous…”

  “No, it’s not that.”

  She looked down and bit her lip. “Then what is it?”

  I sighed. “I think maybe this might not be a good idea.”

  “Why do you…”

  “I suspect that man has feelings for you. And if he does, I’m afraid that if we go through with this, it’ll get all kinds of messy, babe.”

  She blinked. “No. He cares about both of us, sure…”

  I grabbed her hand, softening my tone. “You. I think he feels… for you.” She shook her head. “This is not the first time I’ve suspected it.”

  She smiled. “I think you’re just seeing things, maybe because you subconsciously don’t want to watch me with him.”

  “No, that’s not it at all.” Her smile vanished quickly. “If I’m right, you cannot do this to him. It would just be… cruel.”

  She chuckled humorlessly. “C’mon, this is Bryan we’re talking about. He’s just excited to have a threesome.”

  Tightening my lips, I measured my words carefully. “He’s proved to us time and time again that he’s a nice guy, you know.” I shook my head. “I hope I’m wrong, babe, but I really do think…”

  “How do you propose we find out? Ask him?”

  I scoffed. “No, that’s awkward. ‘Hey, Bryan, are you in love with…’”

  “No!” she shook her head vehemently. “He’ll say no, because it’s simply not true. That man does not feel anything for me.”

  I really couldn’t argue anymore. I knew enough to know that Bryan was not the guy she thought he was, but I really couldn’t be sure without asking him.

  He would deny it; of that I was certain.

  We were locked in a stare down when Bryan came into the room.

  “Are you ladies okay?”

  I leaned toward her and whispered, “What if I’m right?”

  “It’ll be okay.” She touched my arm as she passed me, walked straight to him, and grabbed his hand, leading him to the spare bedroom.

  I followed slowly, seriously contemplating putting the brakes on this potential train wreck.

  When I got in there, they were standing awkwardly far away from each other, both fidgeting nervously.

  “How do we do this?” Bryan asked.

  “I don’t know,” Allison answered. “I’ve never done this before.”

  They looked at me.

  “So both of you assume I have?” They just kept staring. “Well, I haven’t.”

  At least not an actual threesome.

  We all were fidgeting nervously now.

  “Maybe you two should start,” Bryan suggested.

  “Yeah, you’d love that,” Allison snarked.

  He smiled. “Yeah, I would, actually. I mean, I am a guy, so…”

  Ally rolled her eyes. “So typical.” She lunged toward me, grabbed me by the back of the neck, and kissed me aggressively. Her tongue forced its way into my mouth, less to turn me on, and more because she knew it would play well for our audience.

  I allowed it. If she was going for shock value, I could play the game. Determined to push her boundaries, I reached for the bottom of her tank top and pulled it up, exposing her breasts to Bryan, and ran my hands along the sides of them.

  “Oh, fuck,” I heard him whisper.

  Honestly, putting my girl on display was very much a turn on.

  I pinched her nipples, twisting them gently, concentrating on providing a great show, and trying to relax Allison, who I could tell was nervous.

  I broke away from her mouth and kissed to her ear. “Relax, babe,” I whispered. “Close your eyes and feel.”

  I pulled her shirt over her head, kissed down her neck, and resumed pinching her nippl
es. Skimming my nose down her collarbone, I licked a trail to where my fingers were playing. I let go of her left nipple and sucked it into my mouth hard, letting go with a pop. I licked around it and sucked it back in.

  “Jesus,” Bryan uttered.

  I smiled and felt myself get really wet.

  I had almost forgotten how hot it was to be watched.

  Almost.

  An image of Jase watching me that night flashed into my head, and I moaned.

  “Darby,” Allison whispered, grabbing the back of my head.

  “What do you need, babe?”

  She put her fingers in the waistband of her pants and snapped them against her waist. “These, off.”

  I dropped to my knees and peeled her pants and underwear down her legs. She stood naked in front of both of us.

  “Oh, damn,” Bryan whispered.

  My eyes shot up to Allison’s, who was staring at me with hooded eyes.

  “Are you wet?” I asked.

  Another flashback.

  Are you wet? Jase asked.

  Not waiting for Ally’s response, I closed my eyes shook my head a little to try to erase his voice in my head.

  “Sit on the bed,” I instructed. “Let me see.”

  Allison looked to Bryan shyly.

  “Don’t worry about him right now. Let me see.”

  She sat down, keeping her knees together, and leaned back on her elbows.

  Again, I heard his voice in my head.

  Grab her knees and open her up for me. I want to see her pussy.

  I shook it off and gently grabbed both knees and urged her to open them.

  She did, but only a little. She was almost dripping, she was so wet.

  “You act like you don’t, but you like him watching, don’t you?”

  A whimper was her only response.

  I heard Bryan shuffle behind me, and the sound his zipper echoed throughout the room.

  “What do you want, Allison? Should I use my fingers? Fuck you hard and deep with my hand?” Feeling her relax, I widened her legs. “Or should I lick your pussy? Let Bryan watch as I suck your clit into my mouth?” She threw her head back, and I opened her legs even wider.

  “What do you want, Ally.”

  I watched Allison lift her head and look over my shoulder. Her eyes widened and she licked her lips.

  I glanced behind me to see Bryan’s pants around his knees, cock in his hand, stroking slowly.

  “You like that? You like the idea that you’re so fucking hot, a guy could touch himself looking at you?”

  She nodded and kept watching, apparently fascinated by what she was seeing.

  “What do you think, Bryan. What do you want to see?”

  “I am happy with anything Allison wants.”

  I ran my hands from her knees up her thighs, stopping before I got to her pussy. I kept my eyes on Allison, loving that she was watching Bryan touch himself… and seeming to enjoy it.

  She motioned him closer.

  He stopped what he was doing long enough to rip his t-shirt over his head. Once he resumed stroking his cock, he sauntered closer to us.

  Her eyes were transfixed on his cock. She watched, turning her head like a curious puppy.

  “I bet he’ll let you touch it, Ally.”

  He pulled his hand away and thrust his hips closer to Allison. “Oh, God, yeah, touch me.”

  She reached out tentatively, caressing the tip. Bryan moaned, and she pulled her hand away, shaking her head.

  “You didn’t hurt him, Ally. I bet it felt good to him.”

  He looked at me, confused.

  She reached out again, touching him more securely, stroking from the tip to the base of his cock with her fingers.

  He stepped back.

  “Wait a minute,” he gasped. “Allison? Have you never touched a cock before?”

  She kept staring at his crotch and reached for him again. “Not a real one.”

  He turned away from us and pulled up his pants. “Then I’m guessing you’ve never been with a man, either, have you?”

  Her face reddened. “No, but that shouldn’t matter…”

  “Are you fucking kidding me? Of course it matters!”

  He grabbed his shirt off the floor and left the room.

  “Bryan? Where are you…. No! Don’t fucking leave!” She got up and ran after him, not bothering to put on any clothes.

  I stood up, stunned for a second, before I followed after her.

  “Dammit, Allison. I am not going to take your virginity!”

  “I am NOT a virgin!” she screeched. “I’ve had sex probably way more than you ever have.”

  “But never with a man!” He grabbed his hair and pulled, pacing back and forth. “What the fuck? You’re not even into me at all, are you? And you’re willing to let me violate you?”

  She crossed her arms under her boobs. “If I am willing, you aren’t violating.”

  His eyes zeroed in on her naked breasts, so he took the t-shirt from his hand and carefully maneuvered it over her head. When he spoke again, his tone was softer.

  “Maybe not, but you are willing to contradict who you are.” He placed his hands on her shoulders. “And I can’t let you do that.”

  She forced her arms through the sleeves, effectively knocking his hands away. “Let me? You’re all kinds of crazy if you think you let me do anything, Bryan O’Cleirigh.”

  “Fine,” he said, trying to maintain his calm. “I can’t let you do that to me, then.”

  “Do what to you? I’m not doing anything to you! I thought you wanted to do this.”

  “I did… I do, but…”

  “And Darby and I have been together for years, so what gave you the idea I’d ever been with a man?”

  “I assumed you were bisexual like Darby!” he bellowed.

  “Uh,” I interjected calmly, raising my finger in protest, “I actually don’t label…”

  “I don’t know how you got that idea,” Allison talked over me.

  “Well, I know Darby’s had sex with a man. She announced it to the world!”

  I snickered, “I didn’t exactly announce it to the…”

  “And you’ve seen me with a man? This whole building watches this apartment. If we ever had a threesome, I’m fucking sure everyone would know it!”

  “We don’t watch you all the time. And you had a life before Darby…”

  “Yeah, a life filled with women, not that it’s any of your business.”

  “Uh, excuse me,” I butted in loudly. “I’m not sure what the point of all this is…”

  “Shut up, Darby!” both voices yelled in unison, both panting from the effort.

  I ignored their command. “I just don’t get why you two are…”

  “The point is,” Bryan ignored me and yelled, “you were willing to break your ‘no man’ code with me.” He ran his hand over his head. “I’d be your first…” looking down, he quietly added, “and to me, that’s a big deal.” He looked up at her from underneath his lashes. “It… means something.”

  Oh, shit.

  “Means something? What the fuck? You’re crazy if you think it means anything. You’re just here to get me pregnant.”

  Bryan looked like he’d been punched in the gut, turning around and bending over.

  Allison narrowed her eyes. “So are you going to tell me Darby’s right?” Double shit. “Do you have…”

  “Okay,” I yelled over Allison. “That’s enough! From both of you.”

  “No, I want to know, do you…”

  “Allison! I said enough!”

  “Yeah, enough,” Bryan declared. “I’m done.” He walked to the door. “Goodnight to you both.”

  The door slam reverberated throughout the apartment, knocking a picture off the wall.

  I stood there, blinking.

  “Did that just happen?” I asked.

  Allison glanced my direction before looking back at the door.

  “Did you just say that to him? And
were you seriously going to ask him if he has feelings for you?” She stood there, mouth agape, burning a hole through the door. “What the hell is wrong with you, Allison?”

  She groaned, “I don’t know.”

  “That was not like you. You’re never intentionally hurtful. You never yell.” She turned away from me and walked to the couch. “Hell, Allison, we’ve hardly ever argued. I thought you hated conflict.”

  She flopped down, rubbed her hands over her face, and sighed. “No, Darby. That’s you who hates conflict.” She moved her hands and looked at me. “You always walk away. I’ve just never been angry enough to push it before.”

  I wrapped my arms around my stomach.

  Or you’ve never cared enough to argue.

  We remained silent few minutes, both contemplating the situation.

  “I guess we both fucked this one up,” I said, finally breaking the silence.

  She sighed. “Yes, we should have discussed it more before we did anything.” She chuckled. “We did not think this through. Guess you really are rubbing off on me. Hell, we didn’t even draw up paperwork or make him sign an agreement first. So we probably just dodged a bullet.”

  I stared unblinking. “Seriously, that’s your takeaway from all of this tonight?”

  She looked at me questioningly.

  “You didn’t hear what he said? You don’t feel bad? You don’t think you need to… try and make this right with him?”

  She continued to stare at me unblinking.

  “Holy fucking shit, Allison. Do you even care that you just hurt Bryan? Made him feel like shit?”

  “I didn’t hurt him, Darby.” She looked down at her fingers. “You’re reading into it. He’s just mad we didn’t disclose everything.” She chuckled again. “Bryan has morals. Who knew.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Because he’s a person, a friend, not just some rando with a dick to knock you up.”

  She blinked. “I don’t think that.”

  “And he has feelings, Allison.” She shook her head. “Yes. Real feelings. If you can’t see it, then…”

  She cocked her head. “Then what?”

  “Nothing.” I shook my head. “I’m… going to bed.” I walked toward my bedroom. “We’ll talk about what we’re going to do tomorrow.”

  Thirty Four

  “I’m Sorry” – Buckcherry

  I woke up with my head pounding and a pain in my back. It took me forever to fall asleep because my mind was busy trying to figure out a way to break it to Allison that I felt we needed to back off the baby situation. Plus, I slept restlessly.