We was just gazing deep in each other’s eyes. Them big, baby-blue eyes said so much to me, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. He always looked at me from under his eyes, so I really couldn’t tell what was on his mind. There come Mrs. Baker then, ready to start naggin’ me again! I ran in the kitchen to see what she wanted . . . ’cause she scared me. I thought she saw us starin’ each other down.
“Yes, ma’am, Mrs. Baker, what you need?” I asked, my voice trembling.
“Neeyla Jean, it’s gettin’ late. If you wanna go on home, you can.”
I didn’t mind stayin’, ’cause I wanted to know what Henry was doin’. I was gettin’ closer to Mrs. Baker by the day, and that made me happy, but oh, if she found out ’bout my love for Henry, she might just would have fired me.
“I know you have to drive back to that country, and I just want you to be safe.”
“I’m okay, Mrs. Baker. I’m gon’ stay and help these other two ladies. Sure is a lot of food that needs puttin’ up.”
Mrs. Baker looked at me and smiled.
“Well, all right,” she said.
I could’ve gone on home, but I would’ve done anything to stay and keep an eye on my man. I went on and accepted that I was goin’ crazy. My black ass was in love with a white boy who was ’bout to get married. But I didn’t care since I just knew Henry felt the same way. I found somethin’ to do that would keep me busy so I wouldn’t be so obvious. The party was over at exactly 10:30 p.m., and I watched as everyone gave fake kisses and hugs. These white folks, with their skinnin’ and grinnin’. I could see right through ’em. Some of ’em was nice, true enough, but for the most part they all hated blacks, and for that, I hated them, too.
As long as I’d been cleanin’ for the Bakers, I’d been in every room in the house except the attic and Henry’s room. The wedding party was over, but Henry was still stickin’ around in that girl’s face, so I had to act like I was doin’ somethin’. Them tall, wooden stairs creaked when you walked on ’em, so I walked as light as I could. My clumsy ass made the first step creak loud as hell. I tipped on up the steps, prayin’ that Mrs. Baker wouldn’t come behind me. Her room was downstairs anyhow. Don’t think she could handle the steps so much. I made it to the top of them stairs and walked straight to Henry’s room. The door was a slight-bit open already, so I just stepped right on in.
His room was real neat, with the bed made and whatnot. There was a poster on the wall of the Beatles and a hat hangin’ on the bedpost with Mississippi State on it. As I looked around, I saw more pictures on the wall. In one picture, just above the mantle, there was a man in an army uniform with a hat on. He was holdin’ Henry, and Mrs. Baker was there, too! She was young and pretty. Looked just like herself, but a whole lot skinnier! I reckon the man was Henry’s daddy. Eyes just like Henry’s, and he smiled like him, too. I stood there, just starin’ at the picture, gettin’ lost in it and thinkin’, I ain’t never seen no man around the house.
Chapter 19
I heard noise comin’ up the stairs all of a sudden. I started sweatin’, ’cause I knew I couldn’t get out. I peeked down the hall, and there come Henry and his lady, stumblin’ up the steps, drunk as a fools. I was gon’ dive under the bed, but it was too much junk under there. I jumped over in the closet fast as I could and closed the door behind me. I could hear his voice so good, talkin’ loud and real slow, skipping over his words, and she was just laughin’ her li’l heart out. I was wonderin’ what the hell was so funny. Lord, I was just prayin’ that nobody opened the door to that closet, ’cause I was gon’ be a fired girl, or a dead one.
Mrs. Baker loved me, but I couldn’t get caught snoopin’ around in they house! She would never trust me again. So I sat at the very back of the closet, listenin’ real close. They left right back out, ’cause it got quiet. Quiet as a mouse, I twisted the doorknob and pushed the door open, and there wasn’t nobody in sight. I ran my ass out that room so fast, and crept back down the stairs. I looked at the clock in the kitchen. It was 11:30 p.m. I’d never stayed the night at the Baker’s, and I wasn’t gon’ start. I grabbed my thangs and left without sayin’ bye to nobody.
I jumped in my daddy’s truck and cranked it up. That bastard started and then cut off again.
“Dang! Start already!” I screamed at it.
The truck finally cranked up, and I rode on off. I was just ridin’ down the road, mindin’ my own business. Halfway to my house, ridin’ down the Money Road, I see police ridin’ up slow behind me. Aw hell. I died on the inside, ’cause I knew them laws was gon’ take me to jail; for one, bein’ a nigger, and two, I was too young to even be drivin’. I just wanted to slump down under the seat and disappear. I kept drivin’, though. I drove at least another mile, tryin’ my best to keep calm. I was swerving off the road, tryna look in the rear view mirror to see what they was gon’ do. Finally they flashed they lights, sped up, and went around me. I sweated a great bucket of water. The devil was tryna play with my mind.
I was standin’ in the kitchen frying eggs, sunny-side up since the sun was shinin’ so bright. The summer was comin’ to an end. It was still hot as hell, but you could always tell when the weather was finna change. Leaves start growin’ out all brown and orange, and the wind blows differently. I was still gon’ work for the Bakers, but I knew I had to cut it loose soon. Them kids needed me, but I think Mrs. Baker needed me more.
How she loved havin’ me around. Ain’t no lady ever talked to me ’bout life the way Mrs. Baker talked to me. Especially no white lady. I’m guessin’ I was one of the lucky Negro maids, ’cause not too many got close to they boss lady like that. Matter of fact, them white ladies used to be hatin’ the ground black maids walked on. Sometimes I think they was just plain jealous. They knew they couldn’t clean like no black woman, cook like no black woman, or, for that matter, make love like one. They was mad ’cause they husbands was watchin’ the maids more than they was watchin’ them. White women couldn’t face that they was just pretty for no reason. I just thank God I had the looks, and that I could cook and clean. I’d never made love, but I was pretty damn sure I was gon’ be good at it.
Chapter 20
I knew it was time for Henry to get on back to school. I ain’t even care that he was ’bout to get married. If he loved her so much, then why was he always starin’ deep off in my eyes? If I ever was gon’ get laid by somebody, Henry was gon’ be my first. He’d love it so much he was gon’ say to hell with that white gal, and take me up North to marry me. I just knew it. But I was a virgin, and I was gon’ keep it that way—I was hopin’. Can’t be havin’ no half-white babies down South. No way. Li’l baby on my hip that look just like Henry? It would’ve had them ocean-blue eyes, I suppose, just like his daddy.
“Neeyla Jean! You down there daydreamin’ again?” I heard Big Mama yell.
I just smiled, ’cause I really was daydreamin’, and it was ’bout Henry Baker.
“No, ma’am. I ain’t daydreamin’.”
With my fibbing ass. I ran back to the kitchen and slapped them eggs on a plate and took ’em to Big Mama. I asked her if she would drop me off in Greenwood over to Mrs. Baker’s so I could work and go on back home.
She ain’t said nothin’, but I knew that meant yes. I pulled my uniform up over my narrow hips and started walkin’ towards the door. Big Mama was standin’ in the kitchen, starin’ me up and down. She ain’t never looked at me like that.
“Neeyla Jean, you been gettin’ busy with anybody?”
I just looked at her.
“What you mean?”
She just looked at me with some kinda look. Could never really tell what she was really thinkin’. She grabbed her keys and started walkin’ to the door. I wondered what in the hell would make her ask me some crazy shit like that. I ain’t never touch no boy. I think I wanted to. She made me wonder about it. Wonder what it was like. Carrie always told me if I had me a baby I was gon’ worry with it. She wasn’t gon’ be lookin’ after no baby. I already knew t
hat, ’cause she ain’t look after none of her own. Hell.
It was quiet in the car the whole ride to Greenwood. I was just watchin’ the cotton as we passed by. Whole field was white as snow. The lines in between the plants was like piano keys. Not like I’d ever seen a real piano before, but I seen a picture of one at Mrs. Baker’s house. I wanted to ask Big Mama why she asked me that. Maybe she started layin’ on her back when she was my age. Sneaky as she is, I bet she was. I believe it.
We made it to Greenwood and Big Mama still ain’t cracked open her mouth.
“You gon’ come back and get me?” I asked.
She just looked at me. We pulled up at Mrs. Baker’s house and I jumped out. I wasn’t gon’ ask her nothin’ else, ’cause I knew she wasn’t gon’ say nothin’ back. She backed the car up and then I watched the car until it disappeared.
I walked in the house and it smelled a li’l too clean. Cleaner than how it always been before I got there. Like somebody had just got done cleanin’. I walked to Mrs. Baker’s room and she wasn’t there. Wasn’t like her not to be in her bedroom. I ain’t heard nobody in the house, and I refused to take my ass back upstairs. I went to the kitchen. There was tea sittin’ on the stove and some of that fine china sittin’ out on the table. I wonder did Mrs. Baker have some company over that I ain’t know about. And I sure wasn’t gon’ be havin’ Mrs. Baker treatin’ me like no nigger girl again in front of her company, so I just eased my way through the kitchen, lookin’ around real careful.
I couldn’t find Mrs. Baker nowhere. Kinda scared me. I was walkin’ by the kitchen door and I saw the back of Mrs. Baker’s hat. She was out there in that garden of hers, pickin’ tomatoes; the green ones that grow real ripe. I stepped outside the door and closed it behind me. I moseyed on over there to the garden where she was. That garden of hers was so pretty. She made sure I watered it every day, and now I see what my waterin’ hands did. Them tomatoes was full of juice. Looked like they was sweet like an apple. Them peppers was so big and fat, fallin’ off the stem. I couldn’t see Mrs. Baker’s face under that big-ass hat of hers.
“I been lookin’ all over for you, Mrs. Baker.”
“I haven’t been far, missy. I just been hangin’ under this hot sun all day, smilin’ at these tomatoes.”
Mrs. Baker usually was real happy to see me every time I come to work. Her eyes would light up, and she always had some kinda lesson to teach me, or some crazy story to tell. But Mrs. Baker ain’t even looked up.
“You okay?” I asked.
I ain’t wanna seem like I was gettin’ all up in her business, but I couldn’t keep this mouth of mine shut for nothin’. She looked up to me and said she was fine, but I saw a look in her eyes I ain’t never seen on her. I saw a tear drop fall, and when it hit the ground, my soul hit the ground with it. I knew I cared about Mrs. Baker, but I ain’t know I cared so much.
“Mrs. Baker, can you tell me why you cryin’?”
She didn’t say nothin’. She just looked into the sky. I looked up to see what the hell she was lookin’ at.
“Today is my late husband’s birthday. He would have been seventy-eight.”
“Oh, that’s the man you in the picture with upstairs in Henry’s room.”
Damn! I thought in my head. I’m always runnin’ my damn mouth too much. I’m gon’ give my own damn self away. I ain’t had no business up in Henry’s room. Lucky, Mrs. Baker ain’t said nothin’. Guess she ain’t really noticed what I said, so I played it off.
“Why yes, that is him. I miss him so much. He always loved for me to cook him fried green tomatoes on his birthday. Last of the crop before fall comes rushing in.”
I ain’t never had to cheer nobody up before. I wasn’t used to seein’ grown folks cry, so I ain’t quite know what to say.
“Well, them sure is some pretty green tomatoes. Look like all that waterin’ I did made it worth the while.”
Mrs. Baker started smilin’ at me. So I smiled back at her. Somethin’ on the inside of me told me to give her a big hug, and I did. I got down on my knees and gave Mrs. Baker a great big ole hug. She held me so tight I couldn’t barely breathe, so I hugged back close as I could. I felt a deep love that I ain’t never felt before, but I sure knew it felt damn good.
Chapter 21
Me and Mrs. Baker fried them tomatoes and laughed until the sun went down. She ain’t make me do no work that day, and I sure as hell was glad for it. I kinda enjoyed listenin’ to Mrs. Baker. She was tellin’ me all kinds of stories about when Henry was a baby, and how mean he was. I could tell he’d been a mean baby ’cause he was mean as hell as a grown man. She told me about how one night she had a bad dream that her husband was gon’ get thrown from a horse, said she woke up screamin’ and hollerin’ his name, and he was in the bed right next to her. Then about two months later she went out to they farm, up not too deep over in Teoc, and found him dead. She was tellin’ me how she fixed him up a nice lunch, real neat in a picnic basket. She was gon’ surprise him real big. She said he loved surprises. But his damn horse had threw him off and crushed the poor man’s head. His name was Henry Alfred Baker Sr.
I supposed Henry got all his looks from his daddy, since he got daddy’s name. Henry looked just like him from the picture. All except for that blond hair of his. Don’t know where he got blond hair from, ’cause his mama and daddy’s hair was black as mine.
My birthday was comin’ up in two months, and I was gon’ be sweet fifteen. I knew I wasn’t gon’ be gettin’ shit, but I was still excited anyway. I’d saved up some money since from when I first started helpin’ Mrs. Baker. I saved up a whole twenty-five dollars. Savin’ it so I could get my GED, since I wasn’t gon’ be goin’ to high school. I was gon’ work for Mrs. Baker until I was eighteen, and maybe then I could save up a hundred dollars.
Chapter 22
Jabo was still cuttin’ up, up to his usual drunk ole ways. Him and Carrie stayed in, I know seven days out of a week, and that was a damn shame. At least I had some peace goin’ over to Mrs. Baker’s. Hell, it was always quiet. No kids runnin’ around, and somebody treatin’ me like I mattered, like I was somebody. I loved goin’ to work. I never talked to Mrs. Baker ’bout what I was goin’ through at home. I was a pretender. I pretended like everything was all right. Best thang to do, ain’t it?
I just listened to her tell me everything. Not all bad, but good stuff mostly. Some of the stuff I can’t remember, but the fact that she said them thangs to me was important to me. I used to wonder what it would be like if Mrs. Baker just let me come stay with her. I could really be the daughter she never had. At least until Henry got home. I knew that wasn’t gon’ happen, so I ain’t ever asked. I hadn’t seen Henry since he left for school right after summer. The wedding was set for the spring, and I wasn’t ready to watch Henry marry that li’l scrawny-ass white girl. What was he thinkin’? Don’t he wanna be different? All white men married white girls. That’s all I could think about. I had it in the back of my mind to find some kinda way to change his mind before the spring. And oh, time was runnin’ out.
Chapter 23
Reena was home and I had to see her. I wanted to know all about her time down there at Rust College. I wasn’t mad at her for what happened the last time we was with each other before she left. I always tried not to hold no grudge. I got Big Mama to drop me off down to Sammy’s house for the weekend. Hell, Carrie could tend to her own damn chaps. I was damn excited to see what Reena had in store for me. I was finna be fifteen, and I was ready to have some fun.
There she was. Glowin’, and all made up. Hair in them big curls like she always used to wear. Ain’t nothin’ had changed ’bout her, except she was just prettier.
“Reena!” I screamed, and ran and hugged her neck.
“Well, if it ain’t Miss Neeyla Jean!” she said in her high-pitched voice.
I was waitin’ on her to hit that laugh she always done so I could give her hell ’bout it.
“What your pretty li’l country self
been up to these days?” she said, grinning. “Still workin’ for the Bakers and runnin’ after kids and savin’ Carrie’s ass from gettin’ killed?”
She burst out to laughin’ in that squeaky voice like she always done.
“My birthday’s in two weeks, so we need to start celebratin’ tonight!” I said.
“How old you gon’ be, chile?”
“I’m gon’ be fifteen.”
“Well, well, well. I’m sure I can find somethin’ for us to get into. Come look through my bag. I got some clothes for you, honey.”
We walked on in the house, laughin’ and talkin’. I knew Reena was finna turn me into a beauty queen. I couldn’t damn wait.
Reena had a pretty, gold-lookin’ dress that fit around my booty just right. I ain’t never worn no shit like that. Kinda made me embarrassed, ’cause I knew boys was gon’ be lookin’ me up and down. I still was gon’ wear it anyway. I got Mildred to press my hair before I went to Greenwood ’cause I knew Reena was gon’ wanna put them big-ass rollers in it. And she did. My hair had been growin’ like wildfire, and I wasn’t combin’ it. It took her one hour to roll my hair up. She ain’t put that much makeup on me, though. She said I was naturally pretty, and all I really needed to do was keep my head pressed.
I hated when she put that black line under my eyes. I never knew the point. Gon’ cry it right back off. My eyes been watery as all outdoors. I ain’t had no idea where we was gon’ go, but we sure was fancy as hell. I looked over at the clock, and it was finna be eight o’clock. She threw me some pretty, glass-lookin’, toe-out shoes, and I slipped ’em on my feet. Reena must’ve known my size by hand, ’cause everything she had fit me perfect. We walked around to the side of the house, and Reena had a shiny Mustang with the top on it missing. I looked at her.
Sunshine in the Delta: A Novel Page 5