by Diana Jean
Kathleen sighed, turning back to her display. “Ads from department stores aren’t knowledge. So I’m writing a new code for you so this won’t happen again.”
“Thank you, Kathleen.”
“Don’t thank me. Just try to tell me about any more anomalies, okay? I’d like to find the problems before you suffer a major breakdown.”
Kathleen had only just rebooted Ai. After the disaster at Akihabara three days ago, Kathleen shut her down completely once they reached her apartment. It didn’t take long to scan Ai’s system to see what the problem was, but it took a long time, and many conference calls to figure out how to fix it. For almost twenty hours Kathleen had been programming Ai with the new update. More work was needed, but it would be easier with Ai awake now.
“Report functions.”
Ai sighed, obviously tired of this repeated order. “All systems go. Prepare for launch.”
Kathleen glared.
“It’s the same report as ten minutes ago.” Ai rested her cheek on the table. “Come on, Kathleen. Let’s go out. Let’s have fun. You remember daylight, right?”
“It’s nearly 9 pm and you are not going anywhere until this patch is finished.”
“When will you finish it?”
“Hopefully I’ll have the bones of it for Fukusawa to look over tomorrow morning. Report memory functions.”
Ai sighed, a little more dramatically. “Fifty-seven percent cognitive functions.”
“Not good enough.”
“Before Akihabara, I was running at only sixty-eight percent.”
Kathleen frowned. “That is way below our testing average.”
Ai grinned. “I guess I’m outperforming the tests. And you didn’t even notice.”
“Noticing is not the point.” Kathleen quickly sent another text to Fukusawa. “You should be ninety percent or higher, unless for short bursts of high functions. That’s it, you are reporting all you functions to me every morning.”
“Hai, okaasan.”
“Urusai,” Kathleen muttered.
Ai giggled, sitting up. “Someone has been studying! But that word wasn’t in my lessons.”
Kathleen held up her wrist. “I bought a game in Akihabara, remember? Even without an English translation, I have most of the dialogue memorized. Guess I learned some new words.”
Ai put a hand to her chest. “You—” she pointed a finger “—you are cheating on me!”
“Hardly. The AIs in the game are practically prehistoric compared to yours.” Kathleen looked back to her wrist. Fukusawa had already replied to her text. Guess they both were having late nights.
“B-but, you are still talking to other women behind my back!” Ai went on.
“And I talk to Yuriko all the time. You’ve never had a problem with that before.” Kathleen sent a quick reply to Fukusawa. It was nearly ten; she wasn’t going to get into an argument with him about particulars. He could see her product in the morning and judge her then.
“Yuriko is different.”
“Different how?”
“Because she’s real to you.”
Kathleen looked up. Ai was giving her a pensive expression, eyes wide, as if she was trying to see something in Kathleen. “Yeah, she’s real.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Then what did you mean?”
Ai waved a hand. “What I mean is that when you care for her, it’s real.”
Kathleen’s doorbell rang. She still stared at Ai, with her staring blue eyes. “I … uh … come in!”
The door banged open. “Oh good, you are both still here in the same position that I left you in … yesterday?” Kathleen looked up to Yuriko’s grin. “Come on, we’re going out.”
“W-what?”
Yuriko grimaced. “Have you even opened a window in forty-eight hours? You definitely need to get out. There’s a nomikai happening tonight and I am now officially inviting you.” She looked around, probably trying to figure out why Kathleen was staring at her like a mute fish.
Kathleen blinked. “What is a nomikai?”
“Japanese drinking party. My coworkers are having one tonight because we are all tired and need to get drunk. I figured you’d understand. Now, I’m going to change. You put on something … decent.”
Then Yuriko just whirled out of the apartment. Kathleen turned to Ai.
“You’d better go,” Ai said softly, but she was smiling.
• • •
Yuriko called the restaurant an izakaya. Kathleen called it loud.
They were put into a sequestered room of the restaurant, filled with Yuriko’s coworkers from Engineering. They had already gotten started, all sitting around a large table, heaping with food. They all cheered when Yuriko and Kathleen entered and they were quickly handed glasses of beer.
Yuriko sat Kathleen down next to her, grinning. “Eat and drink. It’s all you can eat for a couple hours.”
Kathleen looked at the spread. There was fried chicken and potatoes. Some sort of noodles and salads. They even had pizza, though it didn’t look nearly as appetizing as the rest. Most of the people were still in their work clothes, though some had changed, like Yuriko, into something more casual. The beer was cheap, but it was cold in the stifling room.
“Ne, Yuriko-chan, introduce your friend!” It was a woman sitting next to Kathleen. She had short hair, which had been bleached to a light brown. She wore large red glasses and had a black bow in her hair. She smiled to Kathleen.
Yuriko leaned over. “This is Kathleen. She’s in Development for the PLC project. Kathleen, this is Mitsu Kojima-san. She works in Quality Control with me.”
“Call me Mitsu-chan.” She held out a hand, smiling brightly. She had rainbow colored braces, the kind that didn’t do anything, just as a fashion statement. “Yuriko says you both live in the company housing here in Matsudo? Waa, I’m so jealous! I live in the complex in Saitama and it is so gishi gishi.” She had a strong accent and she spoke with a very high voice.
Yuriko piped up. “She means it’s old.”
Mitsu sighed. “I’m hoping I can move out with my boyfriend soon so I won’t have to share a kitchen anymore.”
“Doesn’t your boyfriend live with his parents?”
Mitsu pouted. “Don’t remind me!” She held up her glass. “Ne, Kathleen, need me to fill up your cup?” Kathleen let her and watched as Mitsu gladly filled her own glass, drinking heartedly.
Kathleen had only drank half her beer, but Mitsu seemed to be a pro at finding people around the table with even a little bit of beer gone. Kathleen didn’t know why, but she seemed incapable of filling her glass without first filling someone else’s. Kathleen would have just filled Mitsu’s glass herself. Except everyone, not just Mitsu, was ever vigilant at making sure her glass never became half empty.
The man across from Kathleen was Yasuo Mori. Whom all the women at the table, after a few drinks, starting calling Mori-senpai. He was probably the youngest at the table, with way too much product in his hair and a flashy suit. He actually had programming experience, though he came to Mashida as a technician. He apparently studied abroad in France during college. His English had a strange French accent to it.
“I would have joined Development, but I wanted to learn more. Really get my hands into the systems, yes?”
“Oh, tell me more, Mori-senpai! What else would you want to get your hands into?” Mitsu giggled. Mori frowned, but continued on about some sort of mechanical project he was undertaking.
Yuriko whispered to Kathleen, “Also, he wanted to hit on his coordinator, Saiki-san.” She pointed down the table. “She’s the glamorous one.”
Kathleen didn’t need further clarification. Saiki was obviously the woman with long, waving hair and full red lips. Lips that matched her tailored suit jacket and high skirt. She shrugged off the jacket, probably because of the heat, and most of the people in the room looked over. Saiki was very well endowed and her thin cotton blouse strained against her chest.
Kathleen looked b
ack to Yuriko. “Would you date her?”
She hadn’t meant to say that, but she might have had her glass refilled by Mitsu too many times. Yuriko looked a little confused, but a woman across the table suddenly spoke up. “Yuriko’s only interested in the small and cute types!” she shrieked and a few people laughed.
Yuriko rolled her eyes. “Don’t get any ideas, Asada-san.”
More people laughed and Mitsu practically leaned on Kathleen to talk to Yuriko. “Eh, eh? I heard you dated Maeda-san, but I never knew you had a type!”
Yuriko seemed surprised. “You knew Michiko-san?”
Mitsu shrugged. “A little, before she left. Oh! Gomen! I’m being rude, ne?”
Yuriko waved a hand, holding out her glass. “It was a long time ago. But you can fill up my glass and I’ll be all right.”
Mitsu did so gladly.
Kathleen wondered, after Yuriko’s random encounter with Michiko, if it was all right. Something about them just didn't seemed resolved, though Kathleen wasn’t sure if it was lingering emotions or just a bad memory. Kathleen wanted to ask more, but she wondered if she was being too forward.
The time ran out after two hours and Kathleen was feeling more than a little dizzy. However, Mitsu and the others were only just starting.
“Nijikai!” they shouted and started walking down the road.
“What?” Kathleen asked, swaying a bit.
Mitsu took Kathleen’s elbow. “We are going to the second izakaya for more drinks!”
Kathleen looked to Yuriko, who only grinned as Mitsu pulled her down the street. Even though it was getting late, the street was packed with people going to restaurants. There were groups like theirs, slightly drunk and traveling to the next destination. It was strange to Kathleen, looking at all the businessmen and women out so late. Kathleen had only seen a scene like this at college, and those kids certainly weren’t dressed in business suits, towing around forgotten briefcases.
The second place was much like the first, except the glass that was put in front of her was unfamiliar. Yuriko was across the table from her now, so Kathleen turned to Mitsu. “What is it?”
“Shochu! Or, anoo.” She hummed. “Whiskey?”
Kathleen wasn’t too sure. She had never seen whiskey served in such a large glass and filled to the top with ice. She took a sip and grimaced. It was awful. She had never liked whiskey much anyway. She found herself eating more at this place, hoping to take the taste away. She didn’t even know what exactly she was eating, but most of it was fried anyway. Unfortunately, Mitsu kept filling her glass.
“Ne ne, Kathleen-chan?” Mitsu seemed to have gotten friendlier as the night went on. “How did you meet Yuriko-chan?”
“Uh, she actually found me lost at a train station. She helped me back and then I found out we were practically neighbors.”
“Ehh!” Mitsu shrieked, a little too loud. “Kawaii.” She drew out the word with a very high pitch.
“What? Why?”
“I met my boyfriend because we were both in the same class at uni. But your story is much more romantic.”
Kathleen blinked. “Romantic? No-no, you misunderstand.”
“Mitsu-san, Kathleen and I aren’t dating,” Yuriko spoke up. Kathleen probably would have been more embarrassed, but no one at the table seemed to care about their conversation. Someone had even started singing.
Mitsu pouted. “Che, why not? She’s your type, ne?”
“That doesn’t mean we are dating.”
Kathleen flushed. “Wait, did you—?” But she lost her train of thought as Mitsu began to refill the awful whiskey. “No, no!” she whined. “Yamete kudasai!”
Mitsu laughed. It didn’t stop her from topping off Kathleen’s drink. “I didn’t think you knew any Japanese!”
It was probably because Kathleen was becoming very drunk, but she decided that it was a great time to practice her novice Japanese skills. “O-genki desu ka?”
Mitsu giggled. “Genki desu yo! Mō ippai ikaga desu ka?”
Kathleen wasn’t sure what she said, but that wasn’t stopping her from trying out all her vocabulary. “Hajimemashite. Watashi wa Kathleen desu. Yoroshiku onegaishimas. Watashi wa ni juu go sai desu. Konpyuta wa daisuke desu. Konpyuta ga suki desu ka?”
Yuriko looked like she was stifling a laugh, but Mitsu clapped her hands. “Suge!”
“Nama mugi, nama gomi, nama tamago!”
She didn’t know why Yuriko burst into laughter.
chapter THIRTEEN
“You wanna know what the best thing about Japan is?”
Yuriko smiled, watching as Kathleen leaned lower and lower on the table. “What?”
“The trains. They are like … the shit. Like a good shit. Like a oh my god they are always on time and like only five minutes between shit.”
Yuriko propped her elbows on the table, feeling like sinking down herself. She knew that she was more than buzzed; she was floating. “I thought you hated the trains. You always get lost.”
“I may get lost. But that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate good public transportation.” She giggled. “Though, Ai is pretty good for navigating. Maybe that’s what we should have ’em do. Figure out transportation for dumb foreigners.”
“The GPS has already been invented. You could use your phone too.”
Kathleen scoffed. “Yeah, but that’s complicated. All you do with Ai is just ask! She’ll do anything.” Kathleen suddenly sat up, leaning across the table, as if she could whisper to Yuriko. She took a sip of her shochu, despite the fact that it made her grimace every time. “And I really mean anything. Like I could tell her to jump off a bridge and she would. Or I could tell her to, I dunno, walk around naked and she would.”
“She would probably like that.”
Kathleen’s eyes went wide. “I know. Freaky, isn’t she?”
Mitsu tugged on Kathleen’s sleeve, suddenly turning to her. “Ne, ne, Kathleen-chan, do you want to come to karaoke with the rest of us?” She was referring to herself, Mori, Azuma, and Yoshizawa. Everyone else had left, trying to catch the last trains back.
Kathleen stared at Mitsu, shaking her head. “No. No, that would be awful,” she said very seriously.
Yuriko laughed, using the table to stand. “I think Kathleen and I should head back.”
Mitsu pouted. “But it’s so late! How will you get back? Come on, karaoke is fun!” She threaded her arm through Kathleen’s.
“We live only a couple blocks away. I think we will manage.”
Yuriko walked around the table and took Kathleen from Mitsu’s clutches. Kathleen sighed, resting her head on Yuriko’s shoulder. “I’m no good at singing.”
“That’s why we are heading back.” She nodded her head to the rest of the stragglers. “Otsukaresama.” She received a mumbled response.
Kathleen was very drunk, but at least when they hit the fresh air she seemed able to walk on her own. She swayed up and down the sidewalk. There were few people out, and most of them as drunk as her.
“You know what the best thing about Japan is?”
Yuriko grinned. “The trains?”
“Well, yeah. But also the convenience store food. Have you … ” She stumbled into Yuriko, who was barely able to keep them both righted. “Have you ever tried a rice ball?”
“Of course I have!”
“They are, like, really good. Like, I can’t even read the package and they are really good.”
Yuriko laughed, feeling more than giddy. They were both swaying on the sidewalk now. Her shoes had been killing her earlier, but now everything just felt a little numb. “You want to know my favorite thing about Japan?”
Kathleen, looked up, eyes wide in something like childish curiosity. “What is it?”
“My bathtub.”
Kathleen laughed so hard she fell off Yuriko, nearly into the street. “That’s so dumb!”
“But it’s true! America doesn’t understand the beauty of a nice deep tub that keeps the water heated and that
you can soak in for hours and hours. Even our cheap tubs in the housing are better than anything outside a mansion in America!”
Kathleen was still laughing. “I don’t even know how my tub here works!”
Yuriko nearly halted in her steps. “What? Are you telling me that you’ve been living here for months and have not soaked in your tub?”
“Yeah? I usually shower anyway.” She waved a hand. “Even before Japan.”
Yuriko reached out, taking Kathleen’s hand. “You need to learn this. I can’t believe … I feel like I’ve failed you because I hadn’t informed you of this!”
“What’s the big deal? It’s a bathtub.”
“It’s pleasure.” Yuriko tugged on her hand, quickly approaching the apartment. This suddenly seemed a very important thing. “I am teaching this to you tonight. And if you forget I will teach you in the morning!”
Kathleen laughed, probably a little too loudly for the late hour. “Well, we are not doing this in my apartment. What if Ai, like, watched?”
“Does she usually watch you shower?”
“Well, no. But I always feel like if I’m in there too long she will come and investigate or something.”
They were approaching their doors, so Yuriko just took Kathleen to her apartment. “She’s not a cat, you know.”
“She does have a random variable. You know, to keep her a bit surprising. Who knows, today that variable was organizing my cabinets. Tonight? Watching me bathe.”
Yuriko pushed open her door. “Well, have no fear; my apartment is safe from all meddling computers.”
“You say that now. But with our AI technology, you never know.” Kathleen struggled to take off her shoes without falling. Yuriko just leaned against the wall.
She didn’t even wait for Kathleen to regain her balance. She pulled her into the bathroom. “Okay, see this panel?” She pointed to the selection of buttons inlaid into the wall. “This controls the heat of your hot water and the tub’s heating components. It will look identical in your apartment. You can set it to fill and water of that temp will fill the tub to the sensors. It takes only ten minutes.”
Kathleen looked closely at the panel, as if she couldn’t quite see it. “That doesn’t seem that special.”