by Diana Jean
Yuriko finished first, standing up. “I’m going to check out the bath outside. Meet me there?”
Kathleen nodded, trying not to look up “I’m just going to do another rinse.”
“Okay.” Yuriko turned away. She had taken the little towel and used it to bathe. Now she folded it on her head as she went to another door and walked outside.
Kathleen took a deep breath, taking the time to really hose herself off. She felt a little better, being wet like everyone else. When she stood, she couldn’t help but hold the towel in front of her. She knew it was ridiculous, it was much too small to cover anything, but it made her feel slightly less exposed.
She pushed open the outside door and found another large pool of steaming water. It was more crowded out here and Kathleen definitely knew why. The pool had fountains on the edges, bubbling into the water. Everything was lined in a rustic looking stone and there were even plants sprouting through the rocks. The perimeter was a tall wooden fence. While the sun hadn’t completely set, it was getting dark and soft paper lamps had already turned on, making everything seem more intimate. It was beautiful and Kathleen found herself putting her towel on her head like Yuriko, just to feel the cool night air on her already heated skin.
The pool was curvy, winding around rocks and the pathway. Yuriko had found a somewhat secluded corner. It was quieter out here without tile to make the voices echo, though there were more people in this pool. Kathleen walked in slowly, a little intimidated that she couldn’t see to the bottom of the murky water. It smelled different than any hot tub she had ever been in. It was a little sulfuric, but still pleasant. Running her fingers over the surface, it felt soft to the touch.
She stepped over to Yuriko and sat down on the underwater ledge. The water came up to her shoulders and totally hid the rest of her body. Yuriko smiled to her. “I have to admit, Ai chose a pretty great ryokan to stay at. This is the most scenic onsen I’ve ever been in.”
Kathleen let her arms float on the water, still feeling the strange texture between her fingers. “Are they all not like this?”
“This one is pretty nice. You’ll find a lot are only indoors now and tend to be very plain.” She sank a little lower, resting her head on the ledge behind her. Her hair clung to the sides of her neck until it floated gently in the water. Yuriko closed her eyes, eyelashes in damp clumps on her cheeks. Kathleen suddenly remembered a moment from that night in Yuriko’s tub. She had been close enough then that Kathleen though she could count every one of those lashes.
Kathleen took a deep breath and looked away. She was starting to feel a little uncomfortably warm, but she didn’t want to get out yet.
A family joined the pool. It looked like a mother, grandmother, sister, and a young boy. The boy splashed around in the water, constantly trying to climb onto everyone’s lap. The grandmother eventually took him to the center and let him splash around. His laughter rang out in the evening air.
Kathleen couldn’t imagine bathing like this with her mother. It would be too strange and awkward. Especially since her mother was rather fit for her age and Kathleen knew she had always been a little on the heavier side. Not that her mother had ever directly told Kathleen to lose weight, but it always seemed to her that she wished Kathleen would shape up more. She would probably sit here and stare at Kathleen’s thighs with that slight frown, as if she could rub out the extra pockets of fat with her disapproval.
Kathleen still felt a little heavy here, but she didn’t feel totally embarrassed. Maybe it was because everyone was naked and uncaring. Maybe it was because that even though most of the women were still tiny, they had other imperfections. The old women were wrinkled and sagging, the young women might have odd blemishes or moles. It all didn’t matter. In the end, Kathleen kind of felt like she was the same as the rest, just a sack of skin trying to relax.
“Do they hurt?” Yuriko suddenly asked.
Kathleen turned back to her. “What?”
“Your hands. You keep rubbing them.”
Kathleen hadn’t realized she was. In her contemplation, she had started massaging her wrists and fingers. “They are just a little sore. I had to submit a rather extensive report before we left.” She gave an awkward laugh. “Kind of pathetic that I strained my muscles typing up a paper.”
Yuriko rolled her eyes, grinning. “A little. Come on, let me help.” She reached out to take one of Kathleen’s hands, but she suddenly paused, just before touching her. Her eyebrows furrowed slightly, as if in confusion.
Kathleen simply gave her hand over. Yuriko suddenly softened, taking her hand with both of hers and rubbing into the sore muscles. The water, heat, and Yuriko’s hands felt nice. Almost too good. Kathleen’s hands weren’t injured and any pain quickly disappeared, but she let Yuriko continue, switching between hands periodically.
“If they still bother you tomorrow, we could get some ice from the front desk.”
“Nah, it’s not that serious.”
Yuriko nodded, continuing. “Do you know what Ai has planned for tomorrow?”
“She said something about walking around and shopping or eating some special tofu or something.” Kathleen grimaced.
Yuriko looked up. “I’m guessing she meant yuba. That doesn’t seem to excite you.”
“I wouldn’t mind walking around town. But tofu is … well, it’s weird.”
“You should try it. It’s a very old tradition here because the Buddhist priests couldn’t have meat.”
Kathleen shrugged. “I kind of wanted to look at more shrines.”
“I’m sure Ai would be accommodating.”
Kathleen hesitated. “I mean … I was looking up some shrines and there is this place I want to check out. Like, there is a trail to get there from one of the shrines we visited today. It’s a little hike, but it’s in the woods and well … I kind of didn’t want to bring Ai this time.”
Yuriko looked up slowly. “Any particular reason?”
“Well, besides, you know, generally … ” She knew she wasn’t making much sense. “Anyway, it would be cool if you came too. I figure I’d probably get lost unless I had at least one person who is fluent in Japanese.” She suddenly spoke quickly. “If we go in the morning then we could come back and pick up Ai by the afternoon and go shopping. Which would be good because then she could carry anything we buy and … yeah.”
Yuriko was grinning, biting her lip as if she could hide that she was laughing at Kathleen. “I think a morning hike would be great. Do you have the name of the shrine?”
Kathleen, suddenly feeling like her chest wasn’t going to burst, nodded quickly. “Yeah, on my phone. I have directions too, but you should probably look them over.”
Yuriko nodded, still smiling. She looked down to Kathleen’s hands, which she still held, though she wasn’t massaging them anymore.
Suddenly, there was a loud splash and everyone looked up to see the young boy giggling loudly. His mother was trying to quiet him and the grandmother was nodding to everyone apologetically. When Kathleen turned back, Yuriko dropped her hands, biting her lip and settled herself against the wall again. Both of their hands dropped back into the water.
They were quiet for a moment, but Kathleen was suddenly aware, whether by the shift in position or because of some mysterious current in the water, that they were a little closer now. Close enough that Kathleen thought perhaps her hand was touching Yuriko’s where it rested on the underwater ledge. Or maybe it wasn’t Yuriko’s hand, but her upper thigh.
In that instant, Kathleen had a nearly uncontrollable urge to brush her. Like in some strange curiosity, to see what she was touching. To feel the softness of Yuriko’s skin that she had felt before, but couldn’t quite remember clearly. No one would be able to see, not in the murky water. What would Yuriko do? Would she be disgusted? Would she move away? Would she touch Kathleen back?
Kathleen suddenly stood. And, because standing meant Yuriko’s head was just a little too close to certain private areas, Kathleen
quickly sat on the edge of the pool, pulling her legs to the side so she was half turned away from Yuriko.
“You okay?” Yuriko asked.
Kathleen knew she probably looked very flushed. “Just getting a little hot.”
Kathleen wasn’t sure, but she thought she saw Yuriko swallow and take a deep breath. Then she stood. “Me too. If I stay here any longer, I’ll probably fall asleep. Let’s head back, okay?”
“Yeah, that sounds good.”
They both quietly exited the onsen, only spending enough time in the dressing room to dry off. Kathleen kind of liked that they only had to slip on their robes and walk back to the room. Her skin felt soft and sort of smelled like the water. It wasn’t a scent she would bottle, but it made her feel earthy and relaxed.
At the rooms, the table and seat pads and been moved aside and the futon beds were laid out for them. Ai was already lying in hers and it looked strange to Kathleen until she realized that she had never seen Ai in a bed before. She probably moved there so the staff wouldn’t think she was not completely human.
As she settled into her futon, she found that Yuriko had been right. It did feel very soft and comfortable after a long day.
chapter TWENTY-ONE
Yuriko looked up at the large canopy of trees that surrounded them. The early morning light seemed too weak to fully penetrate, so it streamed down gently between the leaves. The moss seemed thicker and brighter, perhaps because it had rained in the night again. The only people on the path were a couple of old women, who giggled and greeted Yuriko and Kathleen as they passed.
The path was a little steep, but Kathleen didn’t seem to mind that she was sweating. She had her camera pointed at the impressive trees. “You know, my family was never into camping. But I think I could camp here. I think I could live here.”
Yuriko laughed. “Planning to become a miko?”
“A what?”
“Shinto priestess.”
Kathleen stared. “There are female priests too?”
Yuriko smiled. “Yeah, we saw them yesterday. Remember the girls wearing the red hakama and white hori? I mean, the red pants and white shirt? They are called shrine maidens.”
“Do you think they’d let me in?”
Yuriko shrugged. “You might have to be fluent in Japanese.”
Kathleen turned her camera to a waterfall as they passed. “For this view? Yeah, I think I could learn. Oh, look!”
After walking up a series of steep, stone steps, they came upon a stone torii that lay at the entrance of Tosho-gu shrine. Yuriko couldn’t say that she was as enraptured as Kathleen by shrines, but this grey, moss covered gate was beautiful. It stood above the path, blending in with the rough stone path below. The damp moss growing on the sides made it seem not at all different from the trees growing beside it.
A small sign sat just before it.
“What does it say?” Kathleen asked.
“It says that any pilgrim that throws three stones through the center of the torii, the gate here, will have their wish granted, or have good luck or something like that.”
“A wish, eh?”
They both looked up to a small hole in the center of the torii. It was small, probably no more than seven centimeters, Yuriko guessed. With the torii standing at probably five meters, she wasn’t sure how anyone could make the target once, or three times in a row. Kathleen was already rooting around the edges of the path selecting her stones.
Yuriko pulled out a water bottle, since they were obviously taking a break. “You think you can make it?”
“For any wish? Of course!”
“What are you going to wish for?”
Kathleen frowned at her. “If I tell you, it won’t come true.”
Yuriko snorted. “This is a Japanese torii, not an American birthday cake.”
“Well, I am an American in Japan. So obviously I have to live by both rules.” She wound up her arm, eyes narrowing in concentration. She threw the stone, letting out a soft grunt.
It soared just about a meter below the target. Yuriko laughed into her water bottle and Kathleen glared at her.
“Well, maybe it will just grant me two thirds of a wish.”
The next stone flew right over the top. The last one managed to at least hit the top, though it wasn’t near the hole. Yuriko was laughing now, mostly because Kathleen, in her desperation, was making louder and louder grunts. It hadn’t helped.
Kathleen picked up another stone, throwing it at Yuriko. It actually managed to hit her arm, though it hadn’t hurt. “All right, why don’t you try?”
Yuriko picked up the stone that Kathleen had thrown at her. She threw it, not bothering to aim well. Without even touching the edges, it flew through the hole. She grinned at Kathleen. “Not so difficult.”
Kathleen was gaping. “Come on! Throw another!”
Yuriko waved a hand. “Nah, one third of a wish is just fine with me.”
Kathleen whined a bit more, but Yuriko stepped through the arch. There were a couple of main buildings and some signs pointing to interesting features. Yuriko stopped before a building, where one of the trees was heavily laden with tied pieces of paper, all sagging or falling apart from the recent rain. It read that any lovers who could tie the paper with one hand would enjoy a happy marriage.
Kathleen looked at the curiously. “More prayers?” she asked.
“Something like that,” Yuriko answered. For some reason, she didn’t want to tell Kathleen that lovers traveling the same path as them tied them there. Just for the same reason she didn’t want to make a wish on the torii, she supposed.
The area was wonderfully landscaped with a winding path and several ancient shrines. There was a shrine set up for three cedar trees that were four hundred years old. Then a small spring that was rumored to taste like sake. Kathleen had to go up to everything and take pictures, even the shrine that one could pray for an easy childbirth.
Only once did a couple of old women pass them on the path. Otherwise it was wonderfully empty. Yuriko knew that hours had passed since they had started their hike, but the sun could barely penetrate the trees so it was still shadowed and cool. She wished she could bottle the feeling for when they had to return to the stifling humidity of Tokyo.
They walked further into the forest, aimless as they wandered. The shrines or stone lanterns became sparse, fading into the trees. After a short walk from Tosho-gu shrine, they came upon another, almost entirely hidden in the woods.
The stone fence and path were covered in the thick moss. Parts of the path were slightly flooded from the rain the night before. A stone cliff arched over them, making the area shaded and cool. A red shrine building seemed unusually bright amongst the dark greens and grays, despite its faded appearance.
Kathleen ignored the building, however, moving toward the cliff instead. There, Yuriko could see, was a series of statues placed into a small shallow cave. A small pool of water surrounded the path, but Kathleen hopped across the stones that managed to poke out above the water. Yuriko followed her to see her crouching in front of the small statues.
These were not Jizo, the statues at the Kanmangafuchi Abyss, but looked like other gods. Yuriko wasn’t sure who, exactly, and there was no sign to designate them. One wore a red hat, like those other statues, but it was very faded. All the offering plates in front of them were empty or filled with leafy water. Kathleen leaned forward, as if looking at some particular detail.
Kathleen suddenly looked up the cliff side. “It’s like another world, isn’t it?” She twisted, looking behind them. “Like, it kind of felt that way at the other shrines, but there is no one here now. It’s so quiet.”
Yuriko looked around. It did kind of seem like they were in another world, or maybe back in time. She knew there was a road not too far away, but she couldn’t hear any cars. The path and shrines were so well worn that it seemed like they sprung up from the ground, instead of being placed there.
Kathleen shivered and rubbed the sides of
her bare arms.
“You okay?”
“Just a bit cold.” She smiled up to Yuriko. “It’s a little brisk this morning.”
Yuriko took off her backpack, placing it on a dry patch of ground, then shrugged off her jacket. Kathleen made a noise of resistance, but Yuriko just dropped it on her shoulders. “I’m fine. I’ve heated up from the walk out here.”
Kathleen pulled the jacket a little closer. “Thanks,” she murmured.
“Why don’t you try it in Japanese?” Yuriko knew she was being a little pedantic.
Kathleen sneered, but spoke, “Dōmo arigatō gozaimasu.”
Yuriko smirked. “Good enough.”
“What? Wasn’t that right?”
Yuriko held out a hand so Kathleen could easily get to her feet. “Just a little formal. Try just dōmo next time, especially between us.”
Kathleen’s hand was freezing in Yuriko’s and she wondered just how cold she had been. She took her fingers and rubbed them between her palms. “Daijōbu?”
“Ah … ” Kathleen was staring at their hands, struggling to find the words. “Hai, um, kimochi ii.” She said it soft and sweet, as if she had heard it somewhere and mimicked the sound, but wasn’t sure exactly what it meant. Then she looked up to Yuriko, cheeks just barely tinted pink. “Dōmo.”
Yuriko grinned. “Shoganai.”
They were standing close, forced by the pools of water. Yuriko could feel Kathleen’s hands suddenly warm in hers, though she was no longer rubbing them. She was just holding them. Kathleen did not pull away.
If you reach out to Kathleen, she will undoubtedly reach back, even if she isn’t sure why yet. Yuriko remembered Ai’s words, spoken to her just the day before. Have you truly tried?
Yuriko hadn’t tried to throw the stones at the torii. Because she knew exactly what she would wish for, and it seemed so hopeless to wish for it, that it would be a waste. However now they were both in a different space, a different world. It didn’t seem so hopeless anymore.
Maybe the rules could be changed when the world around you wasn’t familiar and you were alone together.