by Coco Simon
“But we need to rehearse,” Tessa said worriedly. “We’re going to be in front of people in just a few days.”
“I know,” said Reagan, “but right now we need to take five.”
Gratefully I sank into the sofa and took a soda from the little fridge Reagan kept in the corner.
“So what’s up with you?” Kasey asked, perched on the edge of the couch. Her bluntness reminded me of Tamiko. “You’re a total mess today.”
I hung my head. “I know—I’m so sorry. I’m just . . .” I couldn’t bring myself to tell them how I’d treated one of my oldest friends, all because I hadn’t bothered to prioritize my schedule properly. Because I was starting to realize that that was really what had happened. I’d been too busy being busy, and I hadn’t put my job and my friends first, and the consequences were that I’d been late, my friend had covered for me, and I’d taken the credit for her smart idea.
I wasn’t Sunshiny Sierra; I was Scummy Sierra.
“Well, whatever is going on with you, can you please work it out before Saturday?” Tessa said. “I have to make a good impression on Colin or else.”
“Yes,” I promised. “I will figure it out.”
“Cooooollllllllinnnnn,” Kasey sang, with a laugh. “Tell us more about him, Tessa. What’s he like? How’d you meet him?”
Tessa sighed audibly, a delicious contented sigh, like my cat Marshmallow made when I scratched her ears.
“I met him over the summer at the pool. He was with some friends, and I was with some friends. But then for some reason we kept bumping into each other. Like we’d both go to get Popsicles at the same time, or go to the diving well at the same time. And he said my pencil dive was really good—”
“You are a great diver,” Reagan chimed in.
“Thanks!” Tessa beamed. “And I didn’t feel that shy around him, the way I do around most people. Maybe because he wasn’t loud and obnoxious like some boys. He was quieter, more serious. He has these really nice brown eyes and dark lashes. . . .”
I was starting to get yet another bad feeling in my stomach. Tessa seriously liked this boy. But what if Allie did too? What would happen at this party if Tessa and Allie were both there and Colin spent more time talking to Allie, his good friend from school? Would Tessa blame me for bringing Allie? Would it start even more friend trouble for me by making my band angry?
Maybe I shouldn’t go to the birthday party at all. Maybe it would just make everything worse.
“Sierra, you look absolutely terrified right now,” Kasey said. “Don’t worry so much! You’re just having an off day. When the party comes, you’ll be ready. Just practice a lot at home this week. Sing everywhere, all day. I play on my desk at school like it’s a keyboard and practice all my chords.”
The others chimed in with their advice. I appreciated the sympathy, but the truth was, nothing was going to make me sing better at that birthday party except for one thing—being forgiven by my friend.
I’d tried it Isa’s way for one very long and miserable day, and it had been too much for me. I couldn’t “ride this out” and see if my friend forgave me. I’d done something wrong, and I knew it. And there was only one way out of it, even if it meant getting us all in trouble.
It was so simple. All I had to do was tell the truth.
As soon as I got home from band practice, I texted Allie and Tamiko. Will you both meet me at Molly’s after school tomorrow? I made a mistake, and I want to make it right.
To my relief, Tamiko texted back almost immediately: K.
It was just one letter, but it meant everything.
A little while later Allie texted me privately: Tamiko says she’s still not eating lunch w/u tomorrow. But you’re both coming to Molly’s after school?
I texted back: Yes. And I’ll be there on time! I was going to have to skip softball to do it, but I knew that was the right thing. Especially when Allie texted me back with a smiley face and a heart.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
TRUE CONFESSIONS
I walked to Molly’s after school the next day, rehearsing in my head what I would say. I was in trouble with my softball team for skipping practice, but I knew without a doubt that this was my top priority right now. When I’d gotten everything back on track with my best friends, then I could do damage control on the other areas of my life. But first things first.
When I arrived, Allie and her mom were behind the counter. Allie had obviously told her mom that I would be coming by, because instead of being surprised to see me, Mrs. Shear just said, “Well, hello, Sierra. Do you want anything while we wait for Tamiko? I made a new flavor last night—Lemon Licorice.”
“No, thank you,” I said. I had never in my life felt less like eating ice cream. “I’m not hungry.”
Tamiko walked in the door a minute later, but she and I didn’t greet each other. She just stood, her arms crossed, staring at me. The tension was so thick that you could have cut it with a knife, and Mrs. Shear noticed.
“Girls, just what is going on here? Are you all about to quit?”
“No, no, Mom,” Allie said anxiously. “Nothing like that.” Then she looked at me, clearly wanting me to take charge and get this going. There were no customers in the shop at the moment, but it was still unseasonably warm out, so there were a few people eating cones at the tables out on the sidewalk, and they could come in at any time for a napkin or to use the bathroom or whatever.
It was now or never. I opened my mouth, and everything came out in a big, noisy rush. “Mrs. Shear, I’m very sorry to tell you this, but I haven’t been honest with you. I was late several times, and then two weeks ago when I was really late, I brought the doughnuts as an ‘I’m sorry’ for Allie and Tamiko. And then Tamiko, who was being a very good and loyal friend, came up with the Coffee and Doughnuts flavor on the spot and said that that was why I’d bought them, just so I wouldn’t get in trouble. And she let me have all the credit!”
Tamiko’s face started to relax some, but her arms were still crossed. I knew I wasn’t done.
“Anyway, she covered for my lateness, which I am very sorry about, and then I ended up being named employee of the month, when really I’m often late and she’s the one with all the great ice cream flavor ideas. Tamiko should really be your employee of the month.”
I fished into my pocket for the envelope I’d brought. I’d never even opened it, so I still had no idea how much money was inside.
“Please take this bonus back and give it to the right person,” I said, holding it out to Mrs. Shear. Then I gulped in a big breath of air and said the last part, the hardest part, the part that I’d been rehearsing all the way to the shop. A few tears welled up in my eyes, and I worked hard to keep them from falling. “If you don’t think I should work here anymore, I’ll understand.”
Mrs. Shear stared at me, and then at Tamiko, and then at Allie. “Well, girls,” she said, accepting the envelope. “You could knock me over with a feather. Although, I suppose it does explain how weird you all acted when I gave this to you on Sunday, Sierra.” She paused. “Why didn’t you tell me this then?”
Embarrassed, I looked at the floor. “I panicked. I was afraid you’d fire me, and then I wouldn’t get to be here with Allie and Tamiko every week.”
Mrs. Shear turned and handed the envelope to Tamiko. “I think this rightfully belongs to you, my flavor-idea genius. You’re a loyal friend, Tamiko.”
Tamiko accepted the envelope with a nod and a proud smile. “Thanks, Mrs. Shear. I love working here. And I love coming up with new flavors! I’d do it anyway, even without a bonus.”
“I have to say one more thing,” Mrs. Shear said. “This is a business, and you three are employees. You are friends as well, but when you’re here, you’re employees. And that means you follow a code of conduct. You arrive on time, you work hard, and you’re honest. I know you three are more than capable of all of these things, which is why I expect to see you all here on Sunday on time. Okay?”
“Really, Mrs. Shear?” I asked. “Me too?”
Mrs. Shear grinned. “Oh, Sierra, you are a late cookie sometimes. I know that. But I also know that you stay to make up the time, and that when you’re here, your cheerful personality, your lovely singing, and your impressive abilities on the cash register make you a real asset. The customers like you!”
Allie nodded. “They do, Mom! They’re always complimenting her sunny smile and how quickly she makes change.”
I shot Allie a grateful look.
“I have a feeling you’ll be arriving on time from now on,” Mrs. Shear said. “You learned a lesson the hard way, didn’t you?”
“I definitely did,” I said.
Mrs. Shear shooed us out from behind the counter. “Why don’t you go outside and catch up for a bit, girls? I’ll stay here and watch the counter. After all, none of you are working today.”
“Thanks, Mom,” said Allie, ushering us outside. I could tell she was relieved to have the conversation with her mom over with.
I was too, but there was still one more conversation to have. I hoped it would go as well as the first one.
The three of us plopped down at a table outside, and Tamiko ran her finger along the edge of the envelope. “You know I wasn’t upset about the bonus money, right?” she said to me.
“Oh, I know that! I’m really sorry, Tamiko. What I did was wrong.”
Finally Tamiko’s face broke into its wide, familiar smile. “Why didn’t you just say that right away? I would have forgiven you!”
I shook my head. “I don’t know. I think . . . I think deep down I was a little mad at you and Allie maybe, for always making me feel bad about my other activities. Like I had to choose between them or you. When really, shouldn’t I be able to do whatever I want? Don’t you want me to be happy?”
Tamiko sighed. “Of course, Sierra! We do want that. I know how much you love softball, and soccer, and student council, and the play, and your band, and working here. Ugh! I’m tired just listing all the things you do. But I guess after you were late a few times, Allie and I were beginning to feel like we were your last-choice activity. And that hurt.”
“Yeah,” Allie chimed in. “Maybe we were a little jealous. You know everyone at school—and everyone knows you because you’re so involved. Sometimes I worry you won’t need us anymore. And I guess it felt to me like maybe you were taking our friendship for granted.”
“I’m not! I would never do that!” I exclaimed. “I’m so sorry I made you feel that way. Our friendship is my top priority—really.”
Allie and Tamiko shared a look. “So you’d be willing to quit the Wildflowers for us?” Tamiko asked.
My jaw dropped slightly. Were they really asking me to give up my band?
“Um, well, I . . .” I didn’t know how to respond. Was it fair of them to ask me to give up something I loved? Would I have asked them to do the same? Would I have asked Allie to give up reading, and writing her book review column in the paper, or asked Tamiko to quit cross-country or stop bedazzling everything in her bedroom?
No, I wouldn’t have.
“Guys, I—” I started to say.
But Allie cut me off in a burst of laughter. “Sierra! Tamiko’s kidding. We would never ask you to stop doing something you love. And we know you love the band. We’ll just have to get used to sharing you, even if we’d prefer to keep you all to ourselves.”
“Yeah,” Tamiko agreed. “I don’t like that you’re so busy all the time, because I feel like you have less time for me. But I know it’s what makes you happy. And that’s what’s important.”
“Aw, guys!” I said, throwing my arms around them both. “Thank you! Thank you for understanding. I’ve got this scheduling thing down now. Really.”
“Sure,” said Tamiko, giggling. “And the sky is yellow. But listen. How about we stop talking and all go in and get some delicious Coffee and Doughnuts ice cream? I heard a real flavor genius came up with it. And I could use a little sprinkle of happy right now.”
Allie squeezed my arm and said, “Personally, I’m in the mood for a forgiveness float.”
“Me too,” I said, feeling so relieved that I hadn’t even realized I’d started humming.
“Hey, what’s that song?” Tamiko asked me. “It’s catchy.”
I smiled proudly. “It happens to be a Wildflowers original by our guitar player, Tessa. We’ve been rehearsing it for Patrick’s birthday party.”
“Oh, I can’t wait to hear you sing in front of people!” Allie said. “I’m going to be so, so, so proud.”
“I guess I need to get back to work on my party outfit,” Tamiko said. “Because I wouldn’t miss your rock-star debut for anything!”
Sierra Perez, rock star. Rock star with two best friends, that is. I hummed a little more loudly.
CHAPTER TWELVE
BEST NIGHT EVER
A few nights later I hurried into my house, having just run home from soccer practice. It was already dinnertime, and I knew I’d be the last one to the table. I quickly washed my hands and then plopped down into my chair. Dad and Isa were already there, waiting for me.
“Sierra,” Mom began warningly.
“Yes?” I asked.
I saw her hesitate, and I knew she was about to chide me for almost being late to dinner. But since no one had started eating yet, I technically wasn’t late.
She exhaled and put her napkin into her lap. “Never mind,” she said. “Glad you made it.”
Since I’d started my rigorous scheduling system, and was making it to most things on time, I’d noticed that I’d been getting a pass more from my family, and from my other activities. I’d apologized to my softball coach for missing practice the other day, and had offered to stay and help clean and organize the equipment after the next practice. And I’d just worked twice as hard in soccer as I normally did, to make up for having left early on Monday.
“I’m glad I made it too,” I said honestly. “Dinner looks delicious, Papi!”
Dad had made his delicious chicken stew with pimientos, one of my favorites. Happy, I picked up my spoon and dug in. I was ravenous from soccer, and I’d never been a light eater. How could I be, growing up in a house with such yummy Cuban food?
“Your big band debut is this Saturday, right, Sierra?” Mom asked.
I nodded, swallowing what was in my mouth. “Yes—a boy from Vista Green is having a birthday party. Allie and Tamiko are coming too.”
Isa raised her eyebrows. “So you guys made up? They forgave you?”
“What’s this?” Dad asked. “Forgave you for what?”
I shot Isa a look. I didn’t appreciate her mentioning all that in front of our parents. I didn’t tell them her private business (not that I knew any of it).
“It’s nothing, Papi,” I said. “We worked it out.”
Isa snorted. “Yeah, but are they still trying to tell you what you can and can’t do? Did you just spinelessly apologize and beg forgiveness, or let it blow over like I told you to?”
I took several deep breaths and reminded myself to remain calm. I had learned a thing or two these past few weeks about how to keep from feeling overwhelmed. “Isa,” I said slowly, “I appreciate your advice from the other day. But in this case I was the one who was wrong, so yes, I did apologize. And I’m glad I did, because Allie and Tamiko and I had a really good talk, and we all understand one another better now.”
Isa’s face darkened, and she poked at her stew. “I just don’t want them bossing you around, Sierra. Sometimes you’re too nice.”
“There’s no such thing as too nice,” I replied, and I meant it. I loved being a good friend. A good band member. A good employee! I never wanted to let anyone down.
“I think you need to fill us in,” Mom said. “This sounds serious, Sierra. Was the disagreement about working at Molly’s?”
I shook my head. I really didn’t want to get my parents involved, especially since I was proud of the way I’d handled it with my friend
s, and I didn’t want more lectures on my activities. “Not exactly.”
“Isa, I’m not sure what you and Sierra talked about,” Mom said, “but let me be clear: in this house we ask forgiveness when we’ve done something wrong. Yes, you should expect that your friends and family will always love you, but you can’t just let things blow over. Apologies help people forgive and forget.”
“Why is everyone jumping all over me?” Isa complained. “I’m not the one involved in fifty different things and causing these situations in the first place.”
Mom and Dad seemed to absorb that for a moment. Then Dad turned to me. “Maybe adding the band to your busy life isn’t working,” he said. “I know you always make homework your last priority, but in this house, academics need to be a top priority. Maybe you need to think about dropping something. Not necessarily the band, but something.”
“Actually, Papi, my grades have been really good lately. I’ve started doing extra studying on Sunday nights, and making sure I write down all of my assignments in a chart.” Then I put my spoon down and said the thing I’d been thinking ever since my conversation with Allie and Tamiko on Tuesday.
“I’d like to propose that as long as my grades are good, and I’m getting everywhere I need to be, that you let me do as many activities as I feel I can handle. After all, I’m the one who has to manage my time. And, well, my activities make me happy. I’m happy doing lots of different things. Even if that doesn’t make sense to other people.”
Everyone was silent for a moment. Then Mom put her hand on my shoulder and smiled proudly. “Well said, Sierra. And you know what? I think you’re right. We shouldn’t get to determine your schedule. You’re in middle school. This is part of you learning to be independent.”
Dad nodded. “I agree. How about you promise to come to us if you’re in a bind and need help?”
“I will,” I promised. “Now, can we talk about something else for a change?”