by JB Heller
Fuck me. This woman was impossible. “Yeah, you did. And I didn’t listen.”
Mia squirmed in my arms, trying to pull free, but I tightened my hold. “Let me go, Kai!”
“No,” I replied with a harshness in my voice I didn’t mean. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “Let me do this for you, Mia. If not for you, for the baby. Ivy’s doctor is one of the best. For once in your shitty life, you deserve the best. And goddamn but I want to be the one to give it to you.”
Mia stopped struggling against me and went completely still. “What do you mean? I, I don’t understand what you’re saying, Kai.” Her words whisper soft.
I hadn’t meant to say all that, but it was true. Every word of it. I wanted to be the one to give her better. To treat her the way she deserved. I looked into her smooth chocolate eyes and stroked her cheek with the back of my knuckles. “I want…”—I swallowed back my nervousness—“I know you just got out of a relationship, and I understand if this is too much too fast, but I gotta tell you, Pretty Girl, you’ve done something to me. I can’t exactly explain it, but…” I blew out a breath. This was harder than I thought it would be. I took my hand away from the smooth skin of her cheek, ran it through my hair, and fisted it at the back of my neck, frustrated that this was so hard. “I want you, Mia, like I’ve never wanted anything else before. I have this insane urge to wrap you up in cotton wool and protect what’s mine.”
A slow smile spread across her full lips. Her gaze flicker between my eyes and my mouth. “Nobody has ever wanted to look after me before.” She said with a sigh.
“I don’t just want to look after you, I want to look after you and the baby,” I explained.
Her breath caught in her throat as tears gathered in her eyes. “I don’t know what to say.”
I released the tight grip I had on the hair at the back of my neck and moved my hand to her still flat stomach. Her eyes followed my movements, and the tears that were building spilled over and began to roll down her cheeks. “Say yes, say you’ll let me do this. Say you want me as much as I want you.”
“I do, Kai, I really do. I don’t understand it, but I do want you.” She reached for my face and held it between her petite hands. “But I don’t know how to let you take care of me without feeling like I’m trapped again. As soon as I found out about the baby, I knew I had to take charge of my life. I can’t let you do this. I have to do it on my own. I just have to.”
She was still crying, and I knew in my gut she was going to fight this every step of the way. She wouldn’t cave and let me take care of her. I clenched my jaw in an attempt to hold my tongue. I didn’t want her to feel trapped. I wanted her to feel secure, safe, protected. How did I do that without making her feel like I was taking away her freedom? I released a deep sigh. “Mia, that’s the last thing I want. But I gotta tell you, Pretty Girl, it’s not in my nature to let you deal with this all by yourself.”
A hint of a smile reached her eyes as she said, “I’m getting that.” She closed her eyes and snuggled into me. “What about a compromise?”
I was instantly suspicious. “What kind of compromise?” I asked as I wrapped her more securely in my arms and nuzzled her hair at the crown of her head.
“How about I let you help me get set up in an apartment, I take the job Gabe is offering, and I go to Ivy’s doctor when I can afford it,” she suggested.
“No,” I said bluntly refusing her. “This is my counteroffer. You let me help you get an apartment, you take the job, and you go to Ivy’s doctor on Wednesday as planned. The sooner you see a doctor the better. You can start paying for the appointments when you start working. That’s my final offer.”
Mia lifted her head to peer up at me. “You’re not very good with this whole compromise thing, are you?” she mumbled.
I shrugged in response. “I did compromise. I’d rather you just stay at home and let me take care of you, but that’s obviously not going to fly with you. So I agreed to you working for Gabe, and I also put in there about you paying for future appointments. I don’t want you to pay for shit, but again, I get the feeling that’s not going to work for you. See, I’m being flexible.”
She laughed, and it was beautiful. I loved that sound. “Oh yeah, you’re flexible alright.” She rolled her eyes. “As flexible as concrete.”
My eyes narrowed on her still laughing form. “Bullshit, I’m making concessions. What more do you want from me? It’s going against my nature to stand down on these things, so you better appreciate it, woman.”
She laughed harder, and I couldn’t help but smile at her as tears leaked from the corner of her eyes. “What’s so funny?” I asked.
Shaking her head she replied, “I don’t know how I got myself into this mess. Look at me, pregnant and homeless, yet here I am, wrapped up in this amazing man’s arms and laughing harder than I have in as long as I can remember.” She wriggled away from me a little so she could bring her hand up to my cheek again. “I don’t deserve you, but I’m not going to give you up.”
Emotions I thought I was long past finding again rose in my throat as I stared into her brown eyes, they were like smooth, melted chocolate, and I never wanted to look into another woman’s eyes again.
I swallowed past the lump of emotion in my throat. “Mia”—I breathed—“I hope you mean that, Pretty Girl, because I can’t give you up. Not even if I tried.” I lowered my head and pressed a whisper soft kiss to her lips.
CHAPTER SEVEN
He was too good to be true, but for the life of me, I couldn’t turn away from him. I could feel it in my bones that he wasn’t like Trent. No, Kai only wanted what was best for me. Where Trent had wanted to control, Kai just wants to protect.
I thought constantly about what had happened to his sister. I wondered if what happened to her had shaped Kai into the sometimes overbearing but always caring man I now knew. I wanted to ask him about her, but I knew that conversation would have to wait until he was ready. He had to be the one to bring it up.
After our chat the other day when Kai had told me he wanted to be with me, he’d asked if he could start sharing his bed with me. I’d refused him. It was hard, like very hard. He’s the most gorgeous man I’ve ever laid eyes on, and he wanted to spoon me all night long, his words.
But as much as I wanted that, to be wrapped in his strong arms with his warm body pressed against my back all night, I couldn’t just jump into a full-on relationship with him when I’d only left Trent not much longer than a week ago.
Kai had been so good about my rejecting him—Trent would have put the guilts on me for sure. In fact, that’s how he got me to sleep with him our first time. He said he’d been patient enough and that other guys wouldn’t have waited as long. Like the fool I was, I listened to him. I could see now that I had been a fool about a lot of things involving Trent.
Kai, on the other hand, had taken it in his stride. He told me he understood and that he was happy to take it at my pace. I’d been so relieved I almost changed my mind, but he silenced me with a kiss and promised me we’d be sharing a bed soon enough. I won’t lie, I totally swooned.
I had agreed to take the job working for Gabe at his investigation firm, and I’d also caved on the first doctor appointment. Kai was right. It was important that I see a doctor as soon as possible so I could start planning and know what kind of time frame I had to work with.
Knowing I had a plan of some kind felt great. It felt amazing actually. When I left Trent, I had no destination in mind and no plan of action ahead of me. But now I knew everything would work out. I could feel it. I had never been certain of much in my life, but this, this I was sure of.
CHAPTER EIGHT
While we sat side by side in a waiting room full of pregnant women and expectant fathers, I started to feel nervous. My knee started to bounce uncontrollably as I flicked through some chick pregnancy magazine.
“What’s wrong with you? You’re freaking me out,” Mia whispered beside me.
I
lowered the magazine so I could see her over the top. “I feel weird.”
She scrunched her nose at me. “I told you to just drop me off, but nooo, you insisted on coming in. So suck it up.” The way she drew out the word no made me sound like a petulant child.
“I don’t mean weird like that. I mean, I feel like this is my kid, and I’m getting this weird feeling in my chest. It’s like I’m nervous about seeing my kid, but it’s not my kid.” I tried to explain but sounded like a jackarse.
Mia started laughing. “There’s no way Trent would come to a baby appointment. So you’re nothing like Nugget’s father. But I’m glad you’re here. It would have felt off being here alone.”
I reached over and took her delicate hand in mine. “I’m afraid you’re stuck with me now. I’m going to be around like white on rice. You’ll never be alone again.” I winked and gave her a cheeky smile to cheer her up.
And it worked. She smiled back and squeezed my hand. Then her name was called, and she stood up to follow the nurse. When I didn’t follow, she turned to me and said, “You’re already doing a crap job of that white on rice thing you just promised me.”
The other waiting parents looked at us with funny expressions, but I jumped to my feet and walked her down the hall to the open office. I wasn’t expecting her to want me to come in for the actual appointment, but I was keen as to see how all this stuff worked. I’d gone to one of Ivy’s appointments with the twins because Gabe had gastro, and it had been awesome seeing them inside her like that, bouncing around like jelly beans with arms and legs.
I pulled Mia’s chair out for her, and she took it while giving me an odd look. “What?” I asked as I took my own seat.
Her nose scrunched up. “You just pulled the chair out for me. That’s weird.”
“Why is that weird? Guys do that kinda shit all the time.” Don’t they?
Before she could reply, the doctor walked in and sat on the opposite side of the desk. “I’m Doctor Tony McLellan, but feel free to call me Tony.” He smiled at us and looked down at his paperwork as he addressed Mia. “It says here you’re not sure of your dates, is that correct Ms Lynn?”
Mia’s cheeks flamed. “Umm no, I mean, yes. Umm, my…” She glanced at me, and I knew she wasn’t comfortable talking about chick stuff in front of me yet.
The doctor noticed her unease, so he cut her a break. “So you’re unsure of the time of conception, then. That’s not a problem. We’ll run some blood tests, which will give us a good estimate, and I’ll do a quick scan while you’re here, too. The earlier you are, the more accurate the scan will be, but we can compare it with your blood test results and get a better sense of things. How does that sound?”
“Excellent,” Mia said excitedly. “I didn’t know I’d be seeing Nugget today.” That smile of hers was out in full force—beautiful.
“It’s one of the services I offer expectant mothers,” Tony explained. “How about you jump up on that bed by the wall, and I’ll just get you to lift your shirt for me and roll the top of your pants down a little, too. This early in pregnancy the fetus will still be sitting quite low.”
Mia was out of her seat and on that table before the doctor had even stopped talking. And for some reason, that made me stupidly happy. “A little excited there, are we, Pretty Girl?”
She nodded. “I didn’t know I’d be this excited. Will you hold my hand?” she asked.
In the little time I’d known her, I already knew without a doubt she could ask me anything, and I’d say yes. “Of course.”
I held Mia’s hand as we both watched the doctor squeeze some blue goo onto her belly. Goosebumps broke out across her stomach and spread up under her shirt. “Sorry, I forgot to warn you this stuff is pretty cold,” Tony apologised.
A moment later, a noise like radio static filled the room. Then a strong, quick-paced thrumming took its place. Our eyes met briefly before moving to the ultrasound screen, and there it was, Mia’s little Nugget.
“Hi, Nugget,” Mia whispered at the screen on a choked sob.
I turned away from the screen to focus on Mia. Her eyes were red and glassy. “You can cry, Pretty Girl. This moment is worth your tears.” This moment was so raw, so intense. I reached for her cheek and cupped it gently in my palm.
She sniffled once more as fat tears leaked from the corners of her big, brown eyes. “It’s real. Nugget’s real. Until right now, I still thought the test I took could have been a dud and I was just putting on weight because I was stressed or something.”
The doctor laughed and patted our still-joined hands. “While stress can be the cause of weight gain, I can assure you that this not the case here, Mia. I’m actually surprised it’s taken you this long to come see someone. Judging by my measurements and the fetal development, I’d say you’re just over nine weeks pregnant.”
“NINE WEEKS!” Mia shrieked. “That’s over two months, which means I’ve got less than seven months to get everything ready. That’s not long enough. I need more time!” Her tearful gaze turned to meet me. “What am I going to do, Kai?”
She had seemed so calm in the waiting room that I couldn’t help but smile at her sudden panic. “You’re going to let me help you. That’s what you’re going to do, Pretty Girl.”
Tony handed her some tissues for her to blow her nose. After he wiped the goo from her belly and pulled her shirt back down, Mia did her pants back up and hopped down off the table.
I took her hand as we moved back to our seats in front of the desk. “You good?” I asked.
She looked at me with her big, brown doe eyes and smiled. “Yeah, I think so.”
I shot her a wink then we turned our attention back to the guy in the know about all this baby stuff.
When we finished with the doctor, we went to the pharmacy and got the vitamins Mia needed before heading back to Gabe and Ivy’s. Mia reached over the centre console and wrapped her fingers around the hand I had resting on my thigh. “Thank you,” she whispered.
“Anything for you, Pretty Girl.” No truer words had been spoken. I was so wrapped up in Mia she was all I could see. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt like this about anyone.
“Can we go to the park for a little while?” Mia asked.
“Of course.”
Twenty minutes later, I parked my car on the sidewalk by the park we met in. Mia’s head lay on the headrest as she stared out the window at the park. Rain began to fall softly on the windshield, so I left the car running as an acoustic rendition of Dark Horse played through the speakers.
As I watched her silently, her foot tapped to the rhythm of the music while her chest rose and fell in even beats. Soon, her fingers and then her head joined her foot in tapping. I loved that she was feeling the music, and it pissed me off that she’d been deprived such an elemental part of life.
She closed her eyes, fully immersed in the song as her tapping became a gentle sway. I wished I could see her dance, it would be mesmerising. The way her body was moving made me want to pull her out of the car so I could watch her dance in the rain. I grew hard at the image that thought conjured in my mind.
Too soon, the song was finished, and Mia opened her eyes to see me staring at her. She blushed. “What?”
I shook my head—Trent was a fool. “You’re stunning.” I reached over the small space separating us, wrapped my fingers around the back of her neck, and drew her to me. She came willingly and melted into me when my lips pressed against hers. I kissed her softly, worshipping her mouth with the tenderness she deserved. My tongue slid against her bottom lip, and she shuddered against me. “Mia.” Her name escaped me on a groan. I wanted more of her.
As if she could read my mind, she unclasped her seatbelt, climbed over the centre console into my lap, and straddled me – all without breaking our kiss. After undoing my own belt, my hands went to her lush hips, and I sank my fingertips into her smooth flesh where her top had ridden up. She fisted my hair as she melded her body against mine. Fuuucccckkkkk.
“Mia baby, we need to slow down, or I’m going to lose my shit, Pretty Girl.” I groaned as she ground her hips against mine.
She was panting. “I can’t… I need… Kai… I…”
I shifted beneath her so she could get the friction she needed. I then gripped her hips tighter and helped her move against my hard-on while I trailed kisses along the edge of her chin, down her neck, and to her collarbone. I rested forehead against the column of her throat, my own breaths faltering when she threw her head back and moaned my name. Her whole body tensed before she began trembling against me.
Time slowed down as Mia’s body slowly calmed. I ran my hands up and down her back, soothing her as she regained her breath. “Damn, Pretty Girl,” I murmured against her slick skin. Her hands slid from my hair to my chest. “Kai.” She rested her head against my shoulder.
We sat in comfortable silence until Mia sat up and levelled me with her doe eyes. “Kai, I don’t do that… I mean, I… what we just did, I don’t do that.” She chewed on her bottom lip as she waited for me to respond.
I reached for that beautiful, red lip being held captive by her perfect white teeth. “I know.” She released her bottom lip and tilted her head to the side while she searched my eyes for something. I wasn’t sure what she was looking for, but I hoped she found it.
CHAPTER NINE
He was something else. I didn’t have words for what Kai meant to me. In the time we’d spent together, I felt more for him than I had felt for Trent—ever. What kind of person did that make me? I was with Trent for years, and I never loved him. I know it now, and if I’m honest, I knew it then, too. But he was safe, he looked after me, he got me away from my mother and for that, I would be forever grateful.
Of course, I had feelings for Trent, but not the kind I was already experiencing for Kai. It scared me how intense things between Kai and I had gotten in such a short time. But I found myself not caring. I knew he would do as he promised and help me get settled.