by Mel Sherratt
‘Not until now.’ He paused. ‘Sometimes you seem so familiar, as if I’ve met you before, and yet—’
A scream came from inside the house. For a moment, Esther froze as she looked at Jack. Then she got to her feet. ‘Tamara!’
Jack was close behind as she ran through the kitchen and raced up the stairs, taking them two at a time. Another scream pierced the air, but this time it didn’t sound so severe. Esther kept on searching. It was coming from her right.
She opened three doors, shouted Tamara’s name, until she found them both. Oscar was on top of Tamara on the bed, undoing his belt with one hand, the other in the middle of Tamara’s chest, pinning her down.
Tamara’s hair was all over the place and her dress had been pushed to the top of her thighs. She had one shoe on, the other was nowhere to be seen.
‘What the hell is going on?’ Esther pulled Oscar away from Tamara.
Oscar turned to her with a frown as he staggered about, trying to steady himself. ‘We were getting to know each other … in the biblical sense.’
Esther leapt at Oscar and punched him in the face. ‘You bastard! You should have stopped when she said no.’
‘Esther!’ Jack took hold of her forearm as she raised a fist to strike Oscar again. ‘Stop! He wasn’t doing anything wrong!’
‘My mouth!’ Oscar’s hand was covered in blood as he drew it away from his mouth. ‘You’ve split my lip!’
‘I’ll do more than that if you come anywhere near her again.’ Esther relaxed her body in Jack’s arms, hoping that he would think she was calming down. She turned back to look at Tamara who was sitting on the bed. Her eyes were wide but not with fear. It was more with horror, and she was looking at her, as if Tamara was scared that she would strike her next.
‘You were screaming,’ she protested. ‘I thought he was attacking you.’
‘He was tickling me,’ Tamara said. ‘It was a bit of fun.’
Oscar’s hands went up in the air. ‘I wasn’t doing anything she didn’t want me to.’
‘I’m sorry. I thought you were …’ Everyone was looking at Esther. ‘I thought he was …’ She turned and ran from the room.
Jack reached to stop her but she brushed his hand away.
She flew down the stairs and stopped in the hallway, turning around in a full circle, unsure what to do. How had she read the situation so wrong? She could have ruined everything. Jack might not even want to speak to her now. She had assaulted a member of his staff. Stupid Esther!
She raced into the kitchen and retrieved her belongings, wrapping her pashmina shawl around her bare shoulders as she began to shiver.
‘Esther, what’s going on?’ Tamara said, appearing in the doorway.
‘I’m so sorry.’ She turned to her before slipping on her shoes. ‘I thought he was attacking you.’
Tamara shook her head. ‘It’s not me you should be apologising to. I can’t believe you did that. What on earth made you hit him?’
‘I heard you scream and I thought you were in trouble. I was only looking out for you.’
‘I’m fine. I can look after myself, especially with Oscar. He’s a pussy cat.’
‘But I thought—’
‘You didn’t think! You just lashed out.’ Tamara pinched the bridge of her nose before looking at her again. ‘Look, it’s late. We’ve all been drinking. I think I should call a cab.’
They stood in silence, neither knowing what to say. Esther wasn’t sure how angry Tamara was. She had certainly sobered up pretty quickly.
Both women looked up as Jack came into the room.
‘Jack, I’m so sorry,’ Esther began, but he held up his hand for her to stop.
‘He’s fine. He’s sleeping it off.’ His face was unreadable too as he went past them and out into the garden. They stayed in the kitchen, the minutes waiting for a cab agonising.
Finally, Esther was relieved to hear a vehicle pulling up outside. Tamara went to let Jack know they were leaving and then marched past her out into the driveway.
‘I can’t believe what you did,’ she hissed as soon as the cab had moved away from the kerb. ‘You’re lucky to come away without an assault charge.’
Esther hung her head down for a moment. Having had time to think about what to say, she took a deep breath before beginning.
‘There was someone I knew – Amy Farmer. She was my best friend. We’d known each other since primary school. She was raped when she was sixteen.’
Tamara turned to her with a look of shock, so she continued.
‘We lived two streets apart so we split up on the main road. He could have come after me but instead he went her way. I found out the next day.’
‘That’s terrible. Did they catch the man who did it?’
‘No. Amy changed completely from that moment on. No one, not even me, could get her to realise it wasn’t her fault. We’d been as thick as thieves until that day. We told each other everything and yet no amount of talking about it did any good.’ Esther chanced a glance at Tamara as they stopped at traffic lights. ‘She killed herself when she was eighteen. She couldn’t take the shame.’
‘You poor thing.’ Tamara’s tone seemed lighter now. ‘And you thought Oscar was attacking me when I screamed?’
‘So did Jack!’
‘Oh, Esther, I’m so sorry. We were fooling around.’
‘I’m so embarrassed.’ She looked away momentarily. ‘But she was like a sister to me.’
‘It doesn’t matter.’ Tamara shook her head. ‘I can understand why you reacted the way you did, but I hope it doesn’t mean we lose the contract after all our hard work.’
‘I’m sorry,’ she repeated.
It was Tamara’s turn to look out of the window. ‘We’ll have to keep our fingers crossed that Jack doesn’t feel fit to remove us from his payroll.’
Esther said goodnight to Tamara as they arrived at her flat, and then she got the cab to drop her off in Earl’s Court Road. The night air was warm but her skin was hot anyway. She marched along, all the time trying to keep her fury locked away.
That fucking Oscar. He could have ruined everything. Why did he have to do that to Tamara?
It had brought memories flooding back as she had seen him pawing her. And now she had lost her temper in front of everyone.
She turned off the main road, walked past a bin and lashed out at it, giving it a swift palm slap. She banged at it again and again, groaning loudly.
A light went on at a window on the opposite side of the street. Esther hurried away. Tears streamed down her face as her anger inflated. What was wrong with her?
She needed to be liked by them. She had to be or else everything would fall apart around her.
She had invested so much in this. She couldn’t let herself down now. Not after the hard work she had put in trying to like them all, fooling Jack.
Shit, she hadn’t thought they might lose the contract. Tamara might fire her now. She would have to get in quick with apologies to everyone. It was imperative to keep Tamara on side. She was the key to everything at the moment.
Esther would have to prove her trustworthiness again. She would have to throw herself into the campaign for Something’s Got to Give, and hope that the incident would blow over.
And pray that Tamara didn’t find out that Amy Farmer was never a friend of hers. It was the first name that had popped into her head after the incident.
Amy Farmer was her probation officer.
THE COFFEE SHOP
Today
Esther stared at Tamara. The woman was a wreck. It was such a shame as that hadn’t been her plan at all. She had quite enjoyed having a friend, someone to confide in, laugh with, share things with, even if it was for such a short time. But Tamara had to be collateral, didn’t she realise that? If Esther stood to lose out, she would do anything not to.
Tamara had been a real find. Someone who was willing to pay her to get close to her target. It had been fun going with her to all the launch par
ties, PR receptions, get-togethers, and networking events they had attended.
But Tamara would be left bereft, with no friends again. No one would trust her; no one would want to work with her. Still, that wasn’t entirely Esther’s fault. She had given her a good leg up with her business. Really, she should be grateful.
The young woman beside them gathered her belongings and made for the door.
Tamara frowned as she played with the handle on her cup. ‘You’re the only one who knows what really happened,’ she said.
‘No, you were there too.’
‘I wasn’t!’
‘But that’s what you told the police.’
‘Because you told me to … I was trying to help you out at the time.’
‘It was an accident. I keep telling you that he fell.’ She folded her arms. ‘You don’t know because you weren’t there.’
‘That’s the point I’m trying to make,’ Tamara gasped in exasperation.
They had been going over the same ground for the past ten minutes. Different questions, but the same answers. Esther was denying everything.
Cackles of raucous giggles erupted in the room. Esther turned to see two women, a similar age to her and Tamara, a few tables away. They were wiping their eyes, something they had shared making them cry with laughter.
As one leaned over to touch the other’s forearm, Esther brought her eyes back to Tamara’s. She was looking their way too. She would have seen that the women were obviously good friends, enjoying each other’s company.
Just like they had been before he came between them.
‘It was an accident,’ she insisted.
###
Tamara stared at the women as they continued to chat. They looked as if they had been friends for years, shared lots of happy times together. The way they were so comfortable with each other, one reaching out to touch the other.
She remembered a time only a few weeks ago when she and Esther had done the same thing. Laughed until they had cried. After all the months of being lonely, it had felt so good.
Esther had brought back some brightness to her life. She’d enjoyed working with her, socialising with her. Yes, she had seen the cracks appearing but she had ignored them because she was having fun. She had found someone to trust.
How wrong she had been.
Over the past few days, she had learned more about Esther than she’d ever thought possible. She was so different than how she was perceived. She had most people thinking she was all sweet and innocent, that she was a shy soul, likeable but quiet. Someone who had picked her out of the crowd to befriend because she was vulnerable. But she wasn’t fooling her any more.
‘Tell me the truth,’ she said.
Esther sighed. ‘Do we have to go through all this again?’
‘I only know what you’re telling me.’
‘What you saw, actually.’
There was no disputing that. Tamara had seen the body.
‘Let’s act as if everything is normal and it will all blow over.’
Tamara gasped again. ‘Nothing is ever going to be normal again. Not ever. You saw to that.’
‘Oh, don’t be so melodramatic.’ Esther sat back and folded her arms. ‘We have to go to the memorial. It will look suspicious if we don’t.’
‘I’m not sure I can face everyone.’ Tamara put her head in her hands. She wondered whether to slip to the ladies’ and ring the police from there. She had thought she was strong enough to outwit Esther but she wasn’t. Esther had found every weak point she had and exploited it to the maximum. She was worn out, tired and beaten into submission.
‘I can’t do this anymore,’ Tamara said, tears welling in her eyes.
‘You don’t have to.’ Esther glared at her. ‘Because there’s an alternative.’
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Monday, 26 June
Tamara fastened the straps on her shoes just as the cab pulled up outside her flat. She quickly applied another layer of lipstick, checked her reflection in the hall mirror and was out in thirty seconds.
The driver had the side window open and a blast of warm air tried its best to cool the interior. It had been another scorching day. The weather had been the only topic of conversation lately. Everyone wanted it to break, although everyone wanted it to continue. It would be great if she was lying on a beach on a Greek island, she mused, but not in a stuffy city.
Her stomach flipped over in excitement as the cab made its way through the traffic towards Borough Market. She was meeting Oscar that evening, her treat to say sorry after Esther had assaulted him last Thursday. She was taking him to Roast. She’d dined there many times and when she’d mentioned it to him, he’d said it was one of his favourite places.
Even though they weren’t on a date, Tamara still wondered what would happen after dinner. Not that she expected them to go straight back to his place and sleep together. She meant more in the sense of could this be the beginning of a new relationship. She couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if Esther hadn’t interrupted them. Would it have been a drunken one-night stand, or would it have led to something more fulfilling, more long term? She hoped he thought the same.
Borough Market, situated south of Southwark Cathedral, was one of Tamara’s favourite places too. With its glazed roof and green, metal girders, it almost felt as if they were outdoors. Before it had opened to the general public, it had been a wholesale market, providing produce to greengrocers alongside Covent Garden. Not only had it been featured in several iconic movies, her favourite being Bridget Jones, but the range of speciality foods was second to none.
The aroma would always hit Tamara first, people freely walking round with tasters – cheese, baked bread, and meats galore. Then the noise of the hustle and bustle. When she was younger, Tamara had enjoyed nothing more than walking around the aisles herself, tasting all the different European products.
Roast was on the first floor and overlooked the market stalls. Oscar was already seated when she got out of the lift and was shown to her table. He stood up as she walked towards him.
‘Darling, Tamara.’ He kissed her on the cheek before hugging her warmly. The host pulled out a chair and placed a napkin on her lap when she was comfortable. He introduced their waitress for the evening and then left them to decide what to eat.
‘I hope you don’t mind but I took the liberty of ordering a bottle of champagne,’ Oscar said.
‘No, that’s fine.’ Tamara nodded as he went to pour her a glass, trying not to panic about the cost. But it was all part and parcel of the publishing world. Hardly a day went by when she wasn’t invited to some swanky restaurant or bar to launch a new book, hear an author talk or celebrate at an event. There were only so many canapés she could stomach though, and eating dinner in the week was a luxury at the moment.
‘I want to stress how deeply sorry I am again, Oscar,’ she said, launching into her apology once they had chosen their food. ‘Esther is sorry too. I do know she is beyond inconsolable.’
Oscar brushed away her comment and took another sip from his glass. ‘Please, it’s all in the past. Jack explained what had happened to her friend. It was one of those things.’
Tamara smiled at him warmly. She could still see the remains of the scab where his lip had split and was yet to heal fully. It had been a terrible end to a wonderful day but luckily everything had gone smoothly afterwards. She had rung to speak to Jack the next day and sent a box of organic cupcakes.
As their meals were brought over, they settled down into the evening. The food was always delicious at Roast and she tucked into her meal of red mullet with olive braised vegetables and chargrilled artichokes. Oscar had sirloin steak on the bone from the grill with chimichurri and chips. When she saw him stuffing it into his mouth as if he hadn’t eaten in a week, she rather wished he hadn’t. He was a messy eater.
They chatted amicably about the launch of the book, before they moved on to the topic of the weather. But there didn’t see
m to be any chemistry between them. Oscar’s laugh seemed quite false at times, hers too.
Tamara realised she didn’t like him too much when she was sober, and actually thought, in retrospect, that Esther had done her a favour. He was far too boastful for her liking. The only thing they had in common seemed to be work.
She removed her napkin and pressed it to her lips. Ah well, she wasn’t going to find love with him then. As she was about to ask for the bill, she noticed a couple being shown to their table.
Tamara smiled when she saw who it was. It was an old friend of hers, Sophie Wilburt. She and Sophie had gone to the same school and remained close friends for a number of years. She waved but when the woman caught her eye, she quickly looked away. Tamara put her hand down quickly, hoping Oscar hadn’t noticed. But he was too busy studying the desert menu.
Tears brimmed in her eyes. Sophie had been a good friend until her relationship with Michael had ended. She would never have thought she would be snubbed by her. Not after all this time too.
‘I think we’ll call it a night.’ Oscar laid the desert menu on the table. ‘I’m not one for coffee for coffee’s sake, and I have an early start in the morning. Would you like to share a cab home?’
Tamara shook her head vehemently but then realised that Oscar was only looking to give her a lift. Her cheeks reddened, but at least she was relieved he didn’t want to take things further, and the night hadn’t entirely been wasted. Bridges hadn’t been burned but firmly built again. Now all she needed to do was concentrate on getting the book launched.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Tuesday, 27 June
Esther had called into House of Fraser on Victoria Street before heading home. She was going out again that evening. She fancied hitting the hotel bars and picking up some unsuspecting man who was away on business. If she was lucky, she might get a good bout of sex. If she was unlucky, she’d get away with his wallet and whatever else she could sell on.
She was still smiling to herself, thinking about her earlier conversation with Tamara. She’d been telling Esther that dinner with Oscar hadn’t turned out so great. In a way, she had been happy about that. She didn’t want Tamara to end up with anyone like him. All he thought about was himself.