by Mel Sherratt
Second, she had been exhausted after pulling some really late nights to get everything ready in time for publication day. She and Tamara had worked flat out. She had surprised herself by quite enjoying it but she had been sleeping badly, the images of Danny still as vivid in her mind as if the attack had happened yesterday. The amphetamines had helped her to forget but she had taken more than she would have liked. Her ex turning up on her doorstep had served as a sharp reminder about how gullible she used to be.
At first, she had taken what she’d done to him in her stride, but once the anger had gone, the panic set in. She’d been so freaked that she’d taken more of the speed, which had had a calming effect.
But then she’d had a bit of a panic when her neighbour from above had asked if she had heard anything the night she had killed Danny. She’d told him she was a sound sleeper; had asked if anything was missing or if he’d noticed anything untoward afterwards, and when he’d said no, she’d prayed that would be the last of it. He didn’t seem the snooping type and, besides, it didn’t look as if anyone had gone into the garage after her, once she’d come out. She’d checked on several occasions since too, to make sure. In time, she hoped he would forget hearing anything, unless he was prompted, of course, and she’d be long gone by then.
Still, seeing Danny had been satisfying. In the end, it had been messy, but at least she knew it was over now. There was no point dwelling on the past.
Over the past few days, as the launch had drawn nearer, word had begun to spread about Something’s Got to Give. The key bloggers they had targeted started sharing their reviews, social media lit up with the hashtag #SheDidIt and pre-order sales went through the roof on all the digital platforms.
On the night of publication, the book was sitting at number five in the UK Amazon charts, and print sales were heading for a spot on the Sunday Times bestseller list. Everyone was buzzing about its initial success.
Esther was eager to see Jack’s house again, and was even more intrigued about meeting some of his family and friends. Especially his wife. She had arranged to meet Tamara at Holland Park tube station, and was only a few minutes late.
‘Hi!’ Tamara waved at her as she came up the steps from the tube and out on to the pavement.
Tamara was dressed to impress in some navy and white number that had probably cost a small fortune. Her hair was blow-dried, make-up fresh too. She looked really nice, to be fair. Since they’d met, Tamara had taken more interest in herself; obviously, Esther noted, she was a good influence.
‘I thought I’d be the one who was late.’ Esther held up the gift bag she was carrying. ‘Had to stop for the champers.’
‘Ooh, great, thanks. You look lovely!’
‘You too.’ Even now she wasn’t used to Tamara complimenting her all the time. ‘Is that dress new?’
Tamara nodded. ‘Got it at the weekend.’ They began to walk. ‘Can you remember the last time we were here and you split Oscar’s lip?’ Her laughter came out as a guffaw and she all but snorted.
Esther pretended to be embarrassed. ‘Oh, don’t remind me. I’m still so humiliated about it.’
‘From what I’ve seen of him afterwards, I’m glad I didn’t sleep with him. He’s so pompous.’ She turned to her. ‘Where did you learn to hit like that? I never did ask you at the time.’
‘I’m the only girl in a long line of male cousins. I was such a tomboy when I was younger and I learned to handle myself.’
‘Sounds like fun.’ Tamara laughed. ‘I used to play rough and tumble with my brothers but mainly I played with my sister. My favourite toy was my Barbie doll.’
‘Action Man for me.’ She laughed too. She hadn’t even seen one of those, never mind played with one.
The gates were open when they arrived at Jack’s house. Blue and white balloons hung from each post and there were streamers thrown across the many ornamental bushes.
‘Everything matches my dress,’ Tamara giggled.
Esther forced a smile and some canned laughter. She was more concerned about getting inside and checking out Jack’s wife.
Low music and voices swelled as they crunched across the gravel towards the house. Bunting was strung above the front doors, which were open too. A large-scale photo of Simone holding her book with a huge, soppy grin stood proud on an easel.
The night was warm as they entered the house, giving everything a tropical feel. They each took a glass of champagne from the waitress in the hallway before moving into the lounge.
Simone was surrounded by people, Jack and Arabella on the periphery. Her smile lit up the room as she saw them and waved. She looked so happy, even Esther enjoyed seeing it. Simone seemed far from that frightened little mouse they first saw at the pitch. There was a large stack of books at her side, ready for her to sign. She seemed in her element at last.
Esther wished she could be that carefree one day. Maybe she could write a book, or have some sort of goal to aspire to. She had never set out to do anything in her life. Simone would be leaving a legacy for her family, her children, whereas what would she be leaving behind? Chaos? She giggled to herself, coughing to hide it.
‘Ah, here they are.’ Jack’s arm came out as they walked towards him. He was wearing expensive jeans and a white designer shirt, open at the collar. A waft of his aftershave caught her nose and she breathed in the smell of him.
‘Ladies and gentlemen,’ Jack added, ‘may I introduce you to the best PR company I have had the pleasure of working with. This is Tamara Parker-Brown of Parker-Brown PR, and her lovely assistant, Esther Smedley.’
Esther’s smile was waning now, unable to believe Jack had called her that. She was way more than the hired help and well he knew. But it didn’t matter because everyone wanted to talk to Tamara. Esther might as well have been invisible.
She stood by Tamara’s side but not one person said anything to her. They were all over Tamara and Simone. Simone, she could understand as it was her book launch and publication day, but Tamara?
How could she not bring her into the conversation? On balance, she had been the one who had instigated all of this so she shouldn’t be ignored.
A few minutes later, with no one attempting to speak to her, she walked through into the kitchen before she lost her temper. Like the first night they’d been there, the bank of windows in the kitchen had been pulled back to welcome the garden into the house. Esther was so glad she’d been able to enjoy the hot summer. She’d hated being cooped up last year.
‘Don’t hit me.’
She heard a familiar voice and turned to see Oscar shielding his face. He said the same thing every time he saw her; the joke was getting old now but she still smiled.
It almost slipped from her face when she saw that Ben was standing by his side. He had heeded her warning to keep his distance since she had thrown coffee all over him. It had surprised her when he’d kept quiet about the incident, even more so since she had hit out at Oscar that night. Yet he didn’t fool her at all. Ben was a good actor, the same as she was a brilliant actress.
She would always recognise a bully. She’d seen traits of herself in him, of Danny Bristol too. Always thinking he was going to get the upper hand. She wondered how he was at home, how he treated his wife and children. Did he rule the house or was that a mask he hid behind too? True colours always emerged. She should know. She tried so hard to keep her dark side hidden, yet it sometimes popped up unexpectedly.
‘Oscar!’ She put a hand on his arm, the closest he was getting to her. ‘Everything looks to be going well.’
Oscar nodded. ‘All down to you. I don’t know why you let Tamara take all the credit.’
‘Who me? Well, I am just her assistant.’ Her voice came out harsher than she had intended but Oscar laughed.
Ben downed his drink and excused himself. Esther watched him until he had left the room.
‘Well, I doubt you’ll be short of work again because, without you, she wouldn’t have done all this.’ Oscar was still talki
ng. He clinked his glass to hers and then downed the remaining liquid in one go. ‘Would you like another?’
She nodded, if only to get him to leave.
Laughter rang in the air again. She looked to where it was coming from. Through the open doors to the sitting room, she could see Jack. Next to him was a man who looked very much like an older version of him. The woman by his side had Jack’s eyes and nose. She said something to Natalie and they looked in her direction before laughing.
Overcome by loathing, Esther reached out a hand to steady herself on the kitchen worktop. She stood for a minute, breathless and overcome with nausea.
‘Not again,’ said Jack, spotting her as he came into the kitchen moments later. ‘What is it with you and champagne?’
His eyes were twinkling, his mouth in a smile so she could see there was no malice. But there were several people milling around so Esther couldn’t express what she’d thought about his earlier introduction.
Jack came and stood next to her. ‘You look amazing in that dress,’ he whispered. ‘One of these nights, I’m going to see what’s underneath it.’
Esther snorted with laughter. Oh, he really did know how to lay on the charm.
‘In your dreams,’ she whispered back.
‘Yes please.’ He grinned and then reached past her for another bottle.
Esther followed him with her eyes, a lazy grin forming. He was still hers for the taking.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Feeling like a spare part, Esther decided to go back to join Tamara. She was talking to the couple she’d spotted earlier. They had a younger woman with them too.
‘Esther, let me introduce you to a few people.’ Tamara linked an arm through hers. As all eyes turned her way, that familiar state of panic invaded her senses. She could feel her skin reddening but she managed to stay calm this time.
‘These are Jack’s parents, Reginald and Gabrielle. And this—’ Tamara pointed to the woman beside them ‘—is Jack’s wife, Natalie.’
Natalie Maitland wasn’t quite what Esther had expected after the conversations she’d had with Jack. Of course, she’d seen photographs of her dotted around the house, but she’d assumed as his love had faded for her that she must have let herself go. But the image standing before them was every bit of someone who took great care of her appearance.
Even in kitten heels she was as tall as Jack, her pale lilac dress showing off toned arms and legs. She flicked away long, blonde hair, revealing blue eyes. French manicured nails had a line of rose gold separating the white tip from the shimmering pink. Her smile was welcoming but Esther could tell it was false as she held out her hand.
‘I’ve heard so much about you.’ Natalie looked her up and down, obvious to everyone that she was checking her out.
‘Only good things, I hope.’ Esther could see the woman’s smile was false. ‘I’m really pleased to be working with Jack and his team. There’s so much I can learn from them too.’
‘Indeed. Jack speaks highly of you.’ Natalie turned away from her and addressed Tamara. ‘I’m sure he’ll be working with you in the future. He has some marvellous books coming out.’
Esther stood like a lemon again as she was rudely dismissed.
She wasn’t into this socialising lark. She found it very hard to make small talk, even when on her perkiest behaviour. So much crap about this and that just to make people feel special.
A shadow crossed in front of her and she looked up to see Jack’s father.
‘And who are you?’ he asked.
Esther took a deep breath. ‘I’m Esther Smedley. I work with Tamara as—’
‘Her assistant, Dad,’ Jack said as he came to her side. ‘I told you that earlier.’
Esther stiffened. How could he put her down again?
‘You look familiar.’ Jack’s mother peered at her.
‘I don’t know why,’ she replied.
‘Have we met before?’
Esther shook her head, feeling heat building on her cheeks. She turned to Tamara but she was busy chatting to Natalie, laughing about something.
‘Maybe you’ve waited on me at one of the many charity events I go to?’ Gabrielle nodded as if answering her own question. ‘Are you positive you weren’t a waitress at the V&A, for the Women’s Institute summer party?’
Esther nodded slowly. ‘I’m positive.’
‘I could have sworn you were handing out drinks there … my mistake.’
‘No, definitely not me.’ Esther needed to move away before she said something she regretted. ‘Will you excuse me for a moment?’
She went outside. If she wasn’t careful, she was going to blow her top again. How dare those women insinuate that she was working-class fodder.
There were so many guests in the garden area that it was hard not to stare at people. Suave couples, groups of women gossiping, groups of men no doubt trying to outdo one another. But everyone seemed to be smiling, laughing and joking, enjoying the ambience.
She dug her nails into the palms of her hands. Why couldn’t she have a good time? She didn’t fit in, no matter what she did. No matter how hard she tried.
She heard a noise and turned her head. Jack was walking towards her, a goofy smile on his face.
‘Piss off,’ she told him.
If he was taken aback by her language, he didn’t show it.
‘I’m sorry about that,’ he said. ‘I made a hash of things. I didn’t want to bring you to anyone’s attention.’
‘So, you tell everyone I’m just an assistant – twice? You humiliated me in front of everyone, your parents, and your wife. And she’s a nice piece of work, isn’t she? Trying to put me in my place. What’s her problem?’
‘She doesn’t have a problem. I do.’ Jack stepped closer. ‘If I spoke highly of you, people might see that I have feelings for you and I don’t want anyone to know.’
The last rays of the evening sun hid his features as it showed him in silhouette. But Esther could tell he was being sincere.
‘It was my fault,’ he added. ‘I should have introduced you properly.’
‘Yes, you should.’
He held his hands up in surrender. ‘Consider me chastised.’
He was smiling now, as if everything was all right because he had apologised. Esther reined in her temper.
‘Jack!’ Natalie appeared in the kitchen, beckoning to him. ‘You’re wanted for speeches!’
‘Better run back to wifey.’ Esther raised her eyebrows in mock jest. ‘And I suppose I’d better go and do my assistant duties.’
‘You’re not going to let me forget this, are you?’ They walked together towards the house.
‘It will take a lot of persuasion,’ she said quietly.
Tamara was waiting by the door. ‘Let’s get some photos to share with the press.’
Esther nodded. It was the last thing she wanted to do, but she turned on the charm as she went back inside and joined everyone in celebratory poses.
Everything went without a hitch. It was all smiles and applause, and happy people congratulating Simone. Arabella said a few words about her client and her latest book. Then it was Jack’s turn to do the same.
‘Finally, I’d like to raise a glass to the team behind Parker-Brown PR, whose tenacity and vision undoubtedly helped Something’s Got to Give to be seen in all the right places. To Tamara Parker-Brown who runs a tight ship and Esther Smedley, the best wingman one could ever wish for.’
Everyone raised their glasses. Esther stared at Jack as he caught her looking, eyes smiling, an expression that he was hoping to be forgiven. She knew his game but for now, it was too much. She lowered her eyes.
The minute the congratulations were over, she put down her glass and slipped out of the room, intending to leave unnoticed. This world was phonier than she was. So many people had annoyed her that evening.
‘Esther!’ Tamara shouted after her as she disappeared into the hallway. ‘Where are you going?’
‘I’m tire
d.’ Esther didn’t even turn to face her. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’
‘Wait!’ Tamara touched her arm. ‘Is something wrong?’
She paused, trying to find the words to speak through her anger. ‘I was made a fool of earlier.’
‘I don’t follow.’
‘Well, you wouldn’t because you’ve never been called an assistant and then supposedly recognised because everyone thinks you’re only good enough to be a waitress!’
‘It was only mistaken identity.’ Tamara shook her head. ‘I’m sure she didn’t mean anything by it.’
A couple walked past. ‘Goodnight. Hope to see you again soon, Tamara.’
‘Absolutely.’ Tamara beamed. ‘I’ll be in touch.’
Esther shook her head. Had she become invisible? Her fingers balled up into a fist and she fought to keep her hand down by her side, to stop it from smashing into Tamara’s face like it had done with Oscar. It didn’t matter who she hit out at. It just had to be someone.
She tried to calm her breathing, force the hatred and anger down. It needed to be contained before she did something else she would regret.
A waiter came past holding a tray, several full glasses of champagne alongside a few empty ones. Esther realised she had two choices about how the night could end.
She picked up two glasses and nodded to Tamara. ‘Come and sit with me in the garden.’
She had to calm down before she blew her cover. It was getting harder by the day to contain herself. If she wasn’t careful, she was going to spoil everything.
Because even if she had been a waitress at one of the charity events that Gabrielle Maitland attended, it wasn’t where she had first seen her.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Friday, 7 July
It was past 1.00 a.m. when Tamara finally staggered through her front door. High on endorphins as well as fizz, she felt elated that the launch had gone down phenomenally well.
Most of the guests, as well as Simone and Arabella, had left about eleven-thirty, but the party had continued into the garden. Esther had disappeared around midnight and quite frankly Tamara had been pleased. One minute she was laughing and giggling; the next she was so maudlin. She didn’t understand her at times. She was so likeable but there was something about her that she couldn’t quite put her finger on.