by Sparling,Amy
I lift up my head and look at him, feeling my cheeks redden. “You don’t have to sugar coat anything to make me feel better. I’m fully aware of what I did. I deserve biggest slut status.”
He shakes his head, his jaw clenched. “You didn’t give your consent. They should have asked. A guy should always make sure you’re willing and happy to do things. If you’re not, if you’re hesitant in any way, they should stop. And trust me, they know it. We’re taught that in gym every single year. These guys are assholes and they should pay.”
“You will not kick anyone’s ass, Jonah.” I give him a serious look, though I don’t know how well it comes off since my cheeks are red and my eyes are swollen from crying. “I can’t let you get in trouble for me. It’s not worth it.”
“You’re worth everything,” he says. He reaches for his soda and takes a sip. “But if you want me to stay out of jail, then I guess I’ll do it for you.”
He smiles, and it makes me smile. I wipe the final tears from my eyes. “If only you would be my boyfriend,” I say with a sigh. “You’re the perfect guy.”
He chuckles and shakes his head. “I’m not even close to perfect. I would love to date you, but I’m not good enough.”
“Yes you are,” I say.
“I only have ten bucks in my bank account.”
I lift an eyebrow. “So what? That doesn’t make you a bad boyfriend.”
“It makes me not good enough.”
I sigh. “What would it take to convince you that you are good enough?”
He gives me this super adorable sideways smile. “I’m working on it.”
Chapter 29
Over the next month I work on myself. I forget about the stupid Dis List and refuse to look at the next one when it comes out. I come clean to Dana and tell her everything, and as I should have known before, she’s totally there for me with hugs and understanding.
Eventually the stares in the hallways go away as my fellow classmates become more interested in whoever has drama on them this week. I am so beyond caring about stupid stuff like that.
As for Kris and Alex, I pretend they don’t exist and they do the same for me. Jonah stops skipping classes because he says he’s trying to get into college and wants to keep his grades up. Most days he eats lunch with Dana and me in the courtyard, and I’d like to take the credit and say it’s because Jonah and I are slowly becoming good friends—friends who flirt like crazy—but that’s not the only reason. Dana has been hardcore gearing up for culinary school so she brings a new dish for us to eat almost every day. It is a million times better than cafeteria food.
And now that Dana has officially met Jonah and gotten to know him, she’s overcome her previous bad judgments about him. Jonah grew up poor with an older brother who taught him how to commit crimes to survive. That’s not who he is anymore. And although things are really great now, and I love hanging out with Dana and Jonah, I still long for more. I know he does, too, but he won’t let himself see it.
It’s really annoying.
Dana doesn’t bring any lunch on the last day of school because the PTA has decided to throw the seniors a pizza party. I’m not even hungry because I’m so freaking excited to finally be finished with school. All of our midterms were taken earlier in the week, our lockers have been cleaned out, and there’s not much of anything left to do.
I meet Dana in the cafeteria, which is set up like some kind of party for children, but I guess the administration did the best job they could. There’s streamers and balloons everywhere and a row of tables have been covered in dozens of pizza boxes. Dana and I grab a plate and some pizza and tuck into the corner of the cafeteria at a circle table.
I’m trying not to scan too much for Jonah, but it’s disappointing that he’s not here. Sometimes he doesn’t join us for lunch and he always says it’s because he’s “working on something”. The other day I saw him walking toward the guidance counselor’s office after he’d said he couldn’t make lunch. Maybe he’s getting therapy or something, but I haven’t had the guts to ask him. Plus, I guess when he’s ready to tell me, he will.
I’m already on my second slice of pizza when Jonah approaches us, his paper plate stacked high with one of every type of pizza. “Hey, ladies,” he says, smiling wider than usual as he sits next to us. “This is our last day of hell.”
Dana nods. “And then the real hell starts—college.”
I can’t stop looking at Jonah as he eats his pizza. He’s beaming today. There’s a radiance about him that I’ve never seen before. I nudge him. “So, what made you late?”
“Ah, just something,” he says, grinning. “Something I’ll tell you about later.”
“Psh, whatever you can say in front of my cousin, you can say in front of me,” Dana says.
“Fine, I’ll tell both of you. Later.”
Dana and I both groan. Jonah laughs. “Just give it time.”
He winks at me and goes back to eating. Dana pulls up our itinerary on her phone. “Okay, so we still have three days of activities to figure out,” she says, scrolling down the screen.
“It’s a beach house!” I say. “We don’t need activities. The beach is the activity.”
“We’ll get bored of that,” she says, frowning.
Dana’s parents have rented a beach house for two weeks this summer and they’re giving it to Dana and me for the first week, starting a few days after graduation. Since it’s right on the beach and there’s a shopping and restaurant center within walking distance from the house, I really don’t see a need to plan out the whole trip. I think sleeping in late and waking up to salty air and the beautiful beach view are all we need to worry about. Unfortunately, Dana doesn’t see it that way.
“There’s a movie theater a few miles away,” she says. “We could see a movie on Thursday.”
“We have movies here, you dork. Let’s just chill at the beach.”
Dana rolls her eyes then leans over me to see Jonah. “What are you doing this summer?”
“Working,” he says. “I got a construction job lined up. It’s shitty work but it pays thirty dollars an hour, so I’m pretty psyched. Trying to save up for my own car.”
“Nice,” I say. I know how much his independence means to him.
“Is it full time?” Dana asks.
He nods. “Plus overtime.”
“Dude, you’re going to be loaded by the end of summer,” she says. “Too bad it’s only for the summer.”
Jonah hesitates and then glances at me. “Well, it could be longer than summer, but I’m still seeing about college.”
“So do you think you’ll be able to go?” I say. Last time we talked about it, he’d said there’s probably no way he could afford it and he wasn’t too keen on the idea of taking out loans.
He shrugs. “I said I probably didn’t have a future in college. But like I said, I’m working on it.” He glances up at Dana, who is looking back at her phone. Then, to me, he mouths, “For you.”
Chills prickle over my skin. “You should do it for you,” I say, leaning against his arm.
“I am. Just, you know. Also for you.”
I can’t stop grinning. We’re leaning close to each other I can smell the Cherry Coke on his breath. It’d be so easy to kiss him. My heart aches with the desire to sever this line that’s been drawn between us. Chop it up and set it on fire so that Jonah and I can actually be together officially. Just as he made me realize I’m worth more than what some assholes say about me, I want him to realize he’s worth more than his past.
“Okay lovebirds, chill out,” Dana says.
I jump, realizing we’ve been pretty much swooning just inches away from each other for a few minutes. Jonah smirks and goes back to eating his pizza.
After lunch I’m practically vibrating with excitement as the last few hours of the day drag by. Teachers are just letting us hang out, so it should be fun, but it’s the Last Day of School, and it’s too exciting to hang out.
Finally, the b
ell rings and I’m free.
Free from school.
Free from the Dis List.
Totally free.
Chapter 30
In the morning Dana and her parents come over to Dad’s house. Mom shows up too, and the adults hang out in the living room while Dana and I get dressed for graduation. My blue graduation gown smells like cheap fabric and chemicals from wherever it was manufactured, but at least all the wrinkles came out after being hung up all night. I’m wearing black jeans and a pink shirt underneath it; the perfect outfit for celebrating our freedom later tonight.
When Dana finishes doing her makeup, I beg her to do mine.
“You never used to care about makeup,” she says while drawing eyeliner across my top lid. “Seems like someone wants to impress a certain boy.”
“Shut up,” I mutter, my eyes closed while she works her magic.
Jonah and I have been talking on the phone nearly every day for the last month, but I haven’t heard from him yet today, aside from a good morning text. Yes, Jonah sends good morning and good night texts. It’s kind of the most adorable thing ever. Usually I would have had a call from him by now, but he’s probably just as busy as I am. Well, not really. He doesn’t need to spend hours on his hair and makeup. The boy is just gorgeous naturally. Still, I’m not worried. If I’ve learned anything lately, it’s that Jonah Thedford is someone you can put your trust in.
We pile into two cars and head to the school, where graduation is taking place on the football field. Somerton’s graduation class is a sea of blue gowns, making it hard to tell anyone part. Our parents head up to the bleachers and Dana and I make our way through the crowds, looking for someone to hang out with until the ceremony begins.
Who am I kidding? I’m looking for Jonah.
Some people are sitting in chairs, and I look for him near the back, but he’s not there.
Someone taps me on the shoulder and I turn around. Jonah grins, somehow still looking handsome in that stupid gown.
“Hey—” I start to say, but my words are cut off when he swoops me into his arms and kisses me like there’s nothing awkward about making out in front of hundreds of parents and teachers. My feet lift off the ground and I hold onto him, grinning against his lips.
With a final kiss that takes my breath away, Jonah sets me back on the ground.
It takes me a second to come down from that high. “What the hell was that for?” I say, unable to keep a straight face because I can’t stop smiling.
Jonah lifts his shoulders. “I’m going to college.”
I lift an eyebrow. “You figured out how to pay for it?”
He nods, taking both of my hands in his. “I’ve been meeting with the counselor, Mrs. Shearer, and she got me set up with scholarships and a grant. I’ve been accepted to study engineering and I won’t have to pay for anything, so long as my grades stay good.”
“No way!” I jump up and down and then throw my arms around him, squeezing him tight. I breathe in his delicious scent and then I pull back and kiss him. “I am so proud of you!”
Jonah runs a hand through his hair. “I’m still kind of in shock about it. But it’s happening. I’ll be the first person in my family to go to college. And we’ll be at the same college, too.”
My heart squeezes with happiness. I want to keep talking, but the principal makes an announcement for everyone to take their seats for the ceremony. “I’ll see you after, okay?” I tell Jonah. “We’ll celebrate at the beach house.”
He kisses my cheek. “Definitely.”
Before I go, he hands me a folded up piece of paper. I hurry to my seat on the field, anxious to see what it says.
As the principal gives some speech about how proud he is of this school, I unfold the paper and find a handwritten note from Jonah.
Actually it’s more of a list.
The Only List That Matters
By Jonah Thedford
Most Beautiful – Zoey Caplan
Most Charming – Zoey Caplan
Best Laugh – Zoey Caplan
Cutest smile – Zoey Caplan
Best perfume – Zoey Caplan
Best personality – Zoey Caplan
Most fun to be around – Zoey Caplan
Most likely to make my heart ache – Zoey Caplan
The girl I can’t stop thinking about – Zoey Caplan
The girl I want to be mine – Zoey Caplan
My cheek muscles ache from smiling so much. It’s all I can do not to trip over myself when I walk across the stage to get my diploma, but somehow I manage to survive. The ceremony takes forever, but as soon as it’s done, we’re free to stand up and toss our caps in the air. I catch mine and then rush over to meet up with Jonah.
“I really liked your list,” I say, biting on my bottom lip.
“The best thing is that there are no stupid lists in college,” he says, taking my hand. “In the fall we’ll get to start over and be new people. I want you to be there with me, starting over with me.”
“I want that, too,” I say, smiling up at him.
Dana joins us, doing this little dorky victory dance as she walks up. “We’re done!” she sing-songs. Then she looks at Jonah and me and her perfectly arched brows pull together. “What just happened here? You two look extra swoony today.”
Jonah slides his arm around my back. “I was just about to ask Zoey to be my girlfriend.”
Butterflies dance around in my stomach, and it’s the best scary feeling ever. I look up at him. “Really?”
“Really,” he says.
“Well?” Dana says, smacking me with her graduation cap. “What’s your answer?”
I peer up at him. He has this hopeful and kind of nervous expression in his eyes. As if he actually thinks I might say no. I reach up, taking his face in my hands.
His dark eyes peer into mine as I lift up on my toes and place a quick kiss on his lips.
“Of course I’ll be your girlfriend,” I say. “I thought you’d never ask.”
***
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Other books by Amy Sparling:
Believe in Me
Believe in Us
Believe in Forever
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About the Author
Amy Sparling is the author of The Summer Unplugged Series, Ella's Twisted Senior Year, Deadbeat & other awesome books for younger teens. She loves coffee, the beach, and swooning over book boyfriends.
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