Lukas laughed incredulously, shaking his head. Even if he was given to roving, which he never had been, she had absolutely nothing to worry about in that department.
“Most of my patients are over sixty,” he pointed out.
She leveled a warning look at him. “Never underestimate a sexy grandma.” When he laughed, she took umbrage, suddenly realizing that her insecurity did actually reside in the recesses of her brain, thanks to the emotional roller coaster she’d found herself on these last four weeks. “Hey, I’m serious.”
“No, you’re not,” he scoffed, refusing to believe that she could possibly entertain such an absurd idea. “Because you know damn well that you’ve got my heart wrapped up around your little finger.” His eyes held hers for a moment, communicating things that couldn’t be put into words, at least not when they had guests arriving in minutes. “You have since the day I met you.”
She knew she should be convinced, but something kept her from shutting the door on the thought. She was turning into her own worst enemy. This was supposed to be a diversion, not an inquisition based on real insecurities. She had to get hold of herself before she allowed this to get out of hand.
Lydia tried to keep her voice playful, even if the question was not. “You never had any desire to see if the grass is greener on the other side?”
“In my experience,” he told her, “if it’s greener, it means it’s just crabgrass, or weed grass.”
She pretended to look at him over the top of an imaginary pair of glasses. “And by experience, you would mean…?”
“I read a lot.” Okay, enough was enough. There was something else going on here. He knew her. This whole act was camouflage. “Lydia, really, what’s wrong?”
Covering the large pot, she turned off the burner and let the sauce stand there, absorbing the residual heat. “I already told you—”
“You’re actually worried about me having an affair with a patient?” he asked, not believing it for a minute. Lydia wasn’t one of those insecure, jealous women.
She retreated to a more plausible, immediate explanation, hoping Lukas would back off for now. Until she could tell him the truth. “No. I know I can trust you. I meant about this little dinner party.”
For the time being, even though it seemed out of character for her, he decided that maybe this really was what was preying on Lydia’s mind, at least for the past couple of days. Ever since she’d had him invite Christian and said that she was asking Cate to come over as well. His own reaction to it had been lukewarm at best, but he’d always been the type to let fate take over. After all, fate had brought her into his life, hadn’t it?
“Four people is not exactly a party, but I can see your point.” He picked up one of the canapés she’d made and pulled away before she could hit his hand to make him drop it. “I didn’t know you had this match-making bug in you. Is this something all women are born with and it just comes out later in some than in others?” He popped the canapé into his mouth. “Mmm, good.”
She leveled a gaze at him. “Thanks, and define ‘later.’”
As a male, he knew he was perilously close to having stepped in it. “Not twenty-one.”
“Good answer.” She nodded her approval. “Nice recovery.”
“I thought so.” He debated having another canapé, but Lydia was armed with another large spoon. He wouldn’t put it past her to use it, so he saved his appetite. “Seriously, Lydia, I’m not sure how Christian is going to react to being set up with Cate.”
“It’s not a setup,” she protested a bit too heatedly, “it’s food. Away from the hospital and the field office,” she added, then shrugged. “I thought they looked good together.”
The old line about the best-laid plans of mice and men drifted through his brain. “On paper, so do salt-water fish and freshwater fish, but I wouldn’t go putting them in the same tank together. One of them is bound not to make it.”
After putting on an oven mitt, Lydia opened the oven door. A curtain of steam escaped, then cleared away so that she could check on the veal chops she’d stuffed and breaded earlier. They were turning the right color, thank God. Golden brown instead of charred black like the last ones she’d attempted.
“Is that your sneaky way of saying that you’d rather be fishing than here?”
He laughed. “I’d rather be anywhere you are, but since you mentioned it, Dr. Amos has invited us to go deep-sea fishing next weekend. I’ve got someone covering my rotation. Are you up for it?”
Ordinarily, she would have said yes without hesitation. She loved going out on the water with him. But the thought of being out on a rocking boat at sea, no matter how large it was, almost made her stomach rise up in her throat. She took off the oven mitt and tossed it on the counter. “I’ll get back to you on that. Our witness might regain consciousness before then,” she added for good measure, in case he asked why she was stalling.
Lukas sighed. Maybe this case was the only thing on her mind. And if it was, he was afraid that she was letting it become an obsession. “I know how important this case is to you. How important they all are to you, but you’re letting it consume you—”
The sound of chimes interrupted anything else he might have said.
“Doorbell,” Lydia declared cheerfully, finally understanding the full import of the phrase, “Saved by the bell.”
Lukas tabled what he had to say. For now. He passed her and crossed to the kitchen’s threshold. “Yes, I can still distinguish sounds, Lydia. I haven’t gotten that old yet.”
“No,” she agreed, a wicked look coming into her eyes. “I’d say you’ve still got a few miles left in you.” Lydia punctuated her statement with a sexy wink.
He stopped where he was. If he lived to be a hundred, he was never going to fully understand women. He’d never seen Lydia so mercurial before.
“I can still put the chain on the door—” Lukas offered, comically raising and lowering his dark eyebrows like a silent film would-be Romeo.
“Go.” She shooed him off with her free hand. “Make yourself useful.”
He gave her one last glance over his shoulder. “I thought that’s what I was offering to do. My husbandly duty.” His voice floated back to her as he made his way to the front door.
Lydia laughed as she took the sauce off the burner and then began ladling out some of it into a serving dish. God, but she loved that man. And she absolutely hated keeping this pregnancy from him. All right, so it wasn’t an outright lie, it was just omission, she told herself. But she knew he’d see it as a lie if he ever found out that she knew she was pregnant and hadn’t told him.
Just a little longer, I promise, she swore to him.
All the leads they’d had regarding the case had suddenly dried up. The game of musical residences had temporarily halted, or at least they’d ceased to leave an identifiable trail. It was as if the girls and the people responsible for pimping them out had fallen off the face of the earth.
She knew that was impossible. Scum had to be cleansed before you could get rid of it. Like mildew, it would return again and again unless you eradicated it once and for all.
Sullivan had called in a few favors and pressed more people into undercover work. They in turn put out feelers, pretending to be eager johns looking for “tender, young flesh.” The very idea turned her stomach, but if you wanted to catch the bad guys, she told herself philosophically, that’s what it took. You had to cover yourself with filth to avoid detection.
More than anything in this world, she desperately wanted to catch the bad guys.
Hoping for some good news, she’d called the hospital just before she’d begun cooking dinner. But the guard they had posted outside the ICU room said that there’d been no change in “Jane’s” status. The young teenager was still clinging to life, still unconscious.
Every cage the department had rattled so far had come up empty.
The frustration was driving her crazy. Not to mention that she didn’t know how much long
er she could hold out against Lukas and her own conscience.
“Smells good, whatever it is,” Christian said, walking into the two-story house with its recessed windows, stucco exterior and vaulted, beamed ceilings. He’d told Lukas the house reminded him of some of the haciendas he’d seen in Arizona. And the interior always made him feel as if he’d stepped onto a western movie set.
Lucky for Luke that Lydia had the same taste as he did, Christian thought.
He handed his brother the bottle he’d brought with him. Lukas looked at it, then at Christian, raising an eyebrow. “Sparkling cider?”
He knew what Lukas was thinking. He usually brought Wild Turkey. But this wasn’t a time for hard liquor. He shrugged casually. “Alcohol-free. I thought we’d try something new.”
When he’d gotten the invitation, he’d hoped that Lydia had changed her mind and was going to make an announcement about the baby at dinner. But one look at Lukas’s face told him that if she was making any announcements, she’d kept her secret from her husband.
“I’m game for anything,” Lukas said, leading the way into the living room.
From there, Christian could see into the dining room. The table was set for four instead of three. “Someone else coming to dinner?”
Before Lukas could answer, they heard a car pulling up in the driveway.
Chapter 23
In the past few hours, Cate had come close to picking up the phone, calling Lydia and begging off. Each time, she’d stopped herself, recognizing that scrambling feeling inside of her for what it actually was.
Fear.
She was afraid to get close. To anyone. Even Lydia. Looking back, it felt as if everyone she had ever built a bond with had abandoned her. Not of their own free will, but the end result was the same. She was alone. Gabe had been taken from her. Her father had died, her mother had died. Even her identity had died.
It was hard putting herself out there again. Hard to risk incurring that devastating feeling that cut you off at your knees and sucked out all your air again. But she had to admit, she really did like Lydia, and the one time she’d met Lukas, she thought he was exceptionally nice. And perfect for Lydia. They had the kind of marriage that she’d once thought she’d have, if Gabe had lived.
The bottom line was, it was too late to put on the safety features. She already felt close to Lydia. She might as well enjoy some of the perks.
The moment she’d given herself the freedom to do that, the knot in her stomach loosened and she found herself actually looking forward to getting together with Lydia and Lukas for dinner.
She supposed that in a sense Lydia and Lukas were becoming more her family than the one she’d been trying to get close to. Cate’s mouth curved. Just went to show, life never neatly laid itself out the way one hoped it would.
After glancing at the map she had opened on the seat next to her, Cate made a left turn at the next corner. Lydia’s address was written on a piece of paper she’d placed on her dashboard. She’d committed it to memory, but it made her feel better to have it handy. Just in case.
As an only child, she’d often fantasized about having siblings, especially a sister. And now, in actuality, she had one. Rebecca. A sister she couldn’t seek out or speak to without causing problems. She wondered if she ever could speak to the girl.
Well, until then, she had Lydia. And, to be honest, so far they seemed to be getting along far better than most sisters did. It had taken her less than a day to feel comfortable around Lydia, to feel a rapport setting in. The kind of thing that sometimes took years to develop, if ever, had happened in almost a matter of hours.
She’d always been lucky when it came to partners—after her first one, of course. She and Joe Wong, her second partner, had gotten to a point where they could finish each other’s sentences. He’d told her that the bureau wouldn’t be the same without her when she left. She missed him a great deal.
Once she transferred down here, she was certain that she’d never be able to get that close to another partner again. She’d held her breath, anticipating another Jack Powell. Jack had been her first partner and highly resentful of having to team up with a woman, one who was thirty years his junior to boot. After nine months of picking away at everything she did, he’d retired, to her everlasting relief. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could have held on.
It was only human nature to expect a repetition of the bad rather than the good when she transferred to the Santa Ana field office.
Cate laughed softly to herself. The interior of the car echoed with the sound. It was nice to be wrong and still have things turn out so right.
Evening had long since crept in and swallowed up the landscape, leaving it in darkness as Cate pulled up in the driveway. She parked beside a car she didn’t recognize.
Lydia drove the Crown Victoria they used during the day. When she and her husband had come over that first weekend to help her move in, Lukas had been driving an old Mustang he’d lovingly restored. The car to her right was a two-seater.
Getting out, she gave the small vehicle the once-over. It was an original, she decided, a car created out of the odds and ends of other vehicles. Lukas was handier than she thought. Low to the ground and not very comfortable-looking, the sporty-looking car was probably built for speed. She wondered if he raced it.
Cate reached inside her car and got her purse, then, closing her door, she aimed her remote key chain at it. The car gave a little squawk, telling her it was secured.
She’d stopped by the hospital on her way over here in the hopes that she’d have something positive to tell Lydia about their witness. She knew she could have called instead, but there’d been that secret hope that if she showed up in person, something good might happen.
The power of Me.
She smiled to herself. It was something Big Ted had taught her. The secret of getting ahead. Positive thinking. Firmly believing that you made a difference, that given enough effort, you could do anything you wanted to. In essence, that things happened just because you willed them to.
When she’d looked up at the big man, wide-eyed, completely enthralled at the ripe old age of five, and said, “Me?” he’d laughed and told her that was a good name for it. From that day forward, he referred to his theory as “The power of Me.”
In a way, Cate supposed that she still subscribed to the philosophy. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t be butting her head so hard against the wall with Joan.
No, I’m not going to think about that tonight. No negative thoughts. I’m just here to have fun with two very nice people I really like.
Cate rang the doorbell. The door opened before the chimes had a chance to complete their melody. She dropped her hand to her side as she grinned at Lukas. He was wearing jeans and a pullover, and she was grateful she hadn’t decided to put on anything remotely formal. Casual made her comfortable.
Walking in, she handed him the pink box embossed with the logo of one of the pricier bakeries in the area. Things moved inside the box as he took it from her.
“I couldn’t decide what to get, so I got a little of everything,” she explained. “Sorry I’m late.”
Habit had him looking at the clock over the mantel. “Not late, right on time. Here, let me take your coat and purse.”
Once she shrugged out of her coat, she surrendered both to him. “I didn’t realize that among all your other accomplishments, you’re a juggler, too.”
He looked at her, puzzled. “What other accomplishments?”
“Building cars.” She followed him into the living room. “That’s a real beauty you have out in the driveway. What kind is it?”
“That’s not mine.” Lukas hung her coat and purse inside the hall closet and closed the door.
“Then whose—?”
“It’s mine. I built it out of whatever I could find in the junkyard while I was going to medical school. It took almost a year.”
She turned toward the source of the voice, although she didn’t have to. The
moment she’d heard the first word, she recognized it.
Lukas continued holding on to the box she’d brought, studying the two that Lydia seemed so sure were meant for each other. Had to be a female thing, he decided. They didn’t particularly look like a matched set to him. Or happy to see each other, for that matter.
“You know my brother, Christian?”
“Yes, I do.” The words stuck like cotton in her mouth.
From the look on his face, she could see that Lukas’s brother was just as surprised to see her here as she was to see him.
Christian nodded, his eyes on her. Giving nothing away. “We’ve met.”
Okay, this might get sticky. “Lydia,” Lukas called over his shoulder, “I think it’s time to stop babying the sauce and come out here.”
“I’m not babying the sauce,” Lydia informed him as she walked in from the kitchen. “It’s ready. And so is everything else.”
As if the statement needed a little fanfare, she pulled off the apron that still hung loosely to her waist, thanks to Lukas’s toying with the strings.
“Hi, you made it.” The comment was addressed to both of them. Her voice was warm and cheerful and Cate thought it sounded just a tad hopeful. Why?
“Cate brought dessert,” Lukas told her, indicating the box.
“Something decadent, I hope,” Lydia heard herself saying. Where the hell had that come from? She didn’t even care for dessert. Was she nervous? But why? This was just Cate and her brother-in-law, no reason to have this strange unease vibrating through her. Where had all this uncertainty come from suddenly?
Another new sensation she was completely unfamiliar with and didn’t remotely welcome. She knew it was all due to her condition, which in a way was a relief because prior to confirming her pregnancy, she’d begun to think she was losing her mind.
She wasn’t all that happy about things as they stood, though. Whoever had drawn up the original blueprint for pregnant women had done a poor job of it. From one minute to the next, she never knew what to expect from herself. It felt as if all her emotions had gone completely haywire inside of her, threatening to short circuit.
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