by J. J. McAvoy
“Do you want to know a secret about being a king?” he asked, leaning forward. “Gale, we all know nothing.”
“Father.” I almost wanted to laugh.
“It is true.” He snickered. “We do not know if something will be good or bad, right or wrong. All we know is that if we go, people will follow. So, we have to go with confidence. We must act with boldness. We must do as if we know what we must do. No matter what, people will complain and holler or cheer and applaud. We will never be perfect, and we will never please everyone, but we shall press on nevertheless and lead. For that is what we do, and what you must do—press on.”
“Press on. Mother says that too. You all make it sound so easy.”
“What would you like us to say? Stay there and be trampled to ash?”
I chuckled, shaking my head at that thought. “No, that might not be the best advice.”
“I wish I could tell you exactly what you need to hear. I wish I could be of more help.”
I reached out, resting my hand upon his. “You have been helped me more than you could ever truly know, Father.”
He placed his other hand onto mine. “You are not as down as you think you are, Gale. You haven’t gotten there yet.”
“Really? It gets worse? Please, I beg not.”
“I know you will because we all get there. You will get to a point where all of the world seems to be pressing on your neck, and you feel utterly defeated.”
“Are you sure I am not there now?”
“I am sure,” he said softly. “Because on that day, your very worst day, you will not look to me or anyone else, but you will stand and act on your own. That is the difference between children and adults, boys and men, princes and kings.”
I stared at him, scared to ask if he remembered Arthur was gone.
I missed him too much to ask and lose him to the fog of his mind.
I wanted to stay just like this.
But I only managed to speak to my father for another few minutes before he started to fade again. It was hard to watch, which was why I rarely visited him, but at the same time, I was grateful to speak to him, to learn from him. I regretted all the time I had wasted in the past. I knew there was nothing I could do about it now, but it did not change the way I felt. I didn’t want to add to the list of my regrets.
“Balduin,” I called when I stepped back into the hall.
“Yes, sir?”
“Where is Odette now?”
“I believe she should be at the princess’ afternoon luncheon.”
I grinned. “Perfect.”
”Sir?”
“The last time I had a lunch-in, I was fourteen.” Eliza huffed as we waited in the sitting area beside the Victorian room, where today’s lunch-in was to take place. “And it was horrid. Half of them were blowing smoke, as you Americans say, and the other half were making fun of me. They all had dinner at Lady Whistzle’s place that same night to laugh at me. They called me Carrot-top and said my outfit looked like it was made of neon highlighters.”
I knew why she was telling me this. It was the same reason why she had to have this lunch-in, to begin with—me. Because of the bad press about Gale and me, the queen wanted to show that all was well. But she didn’t trust me outside of the palace just yet. And so she had forced all the most notable women between mine and Eliza’s age to gather here for lunch. She wanted to show that I was adjusting fine, and nothing the press could or had said had reached me.
Eliza was trying her best to prepare me now by telling me nothing I did here would make them kinder or less vicious. It was their way of managing the situation, seeing as Gale and I truly weren’t talking to each other. And I didn’t know who was at fault anymore. The day after our fight, after I had cried my eyes out and was calm again, I wanted to talk to him, but he had left to go somewhere south. Then when he came back, I was too nervous to see him. So, I avoided him. Then it felt like he was avoiding me. I didn’t know what was happening anymore, so I quietly just kept to my schedule, and the days rolled on.
“Odette? Odette?”
I glanced away from the painting I wasn’t looking back to Eliza as she called for me, a frown on her pretty face. How could anyone make fun of her when she was so uniquely beautiful.
“Do not worry.” She stepped forward. “I’m not fourteen anymore. I am not on my mother’s level yet, but I have mastered how to rip into others politely.”
I smiled. “Let’s hope it does not come to that.”
“Yes, let’s hope.” At the sound of her voice, I already wished to give up and go back to my lessons.
“Sophia?” Eliza spoke, releasing me and looking over my shoulder at the woman who came in. “I was not aware you were joining us.”
“Do you wish me not to?”
I turned around to see Sophia dressed in black once again, like a ghost haunting me for some sin I did not know I had committed.
“Of course not. You are always welcome,” Eliza replied, though she did give me a slight glance.
When Sophia’s eyes shifted to me, I curtsied slightly, and she nodded, stepping farther into the drawing room.
Just like that, Eliza’s rambling came to an end. We moved to our places at the door. Eliza was in the center, and Sophia was on her right, where I was supposed to stand had it only have been the two of us.
As we waited, I quickly worked to remember everyone’s name and title in my head. Wolfgang had made a booklet for me to study beforehand. He’d even gotten a photo for each and every one of them.
“Her Royal Highness, Princess Eliza,” called the doorman as the doors open, and I immediately put a slight smile on my face as every lady there turned to look at us.
And I thought I was ready. I thought I was going to be able to handle it.
However, the moment I locked eyes with Sabina, who was crowded on every side by other ladies, a part of my chest tightened, and I felt sick. I wanted to turn and just walk away. But my body kept moving forward behind Eliza, greeting everyone as we finally reached our table.
“Odette, I’d like you to meet one of my oldest and dearest friends,” Eliza said, ushering me to a woman dressed in bright red, with red lipstick, short dark-brown hair with bangs, and a birthmark right above her lips. “Lady Katherine Whistzle.”
Oldest and dearest friends? I thought as I took her hand. “Hello, Eliza told me of you.”
“All good things, I know. We have been friends since almost infancy,” she said proudly, taking my hand and nodding.
“Yes, it is hard to have such good and loyal friends,” Eliza said with a forced smile. “Please, let’s sit.”
I wondered how many hellos, thank you for comings, and forced smiles royals had to give in a single day? How many had I given already? It was starting to feel like an out-of-body experience. Like I was watching myself talk, smile, and greet people but wasn’t doing it. Almost like I was a ghost of myself. People asked me questions, and I answered, but what was I saying? I didn’t really know. The longer it went on, the more Lady Katherine Whistzle, Sophia’s, Eliza’s, and even Sabina’s faces all started to blur.
Was this how it was for Gale?
Is that how the six months went by for him? Or was it just me? Was it because I wasn’t used to this world yet, or was it because I was? This lunch-in was supposed to be another step to ease me into the royal life. But as I watched Sophia, as I watched Eliza and Sabina captivate everyone around them with ease, I wondered if maybe, just maybe it was hopeless.
Maybe I...
“His Royal Highness, Prince Galahad.”
My head whipped back to the door as they opened it, and everyone stood. There he was dressed in a casual button-down shirt and no tie, holding three roses—two of them yellow and one red. He stepped into the room, his blue-green eyes locked on mine, and a smile—a very large one—appeared on his face. He didn’t look away from me. He walked directly toward me, and I just stood there paralyzed. This was not part of the schedule or protocol or anything e
lse. But he kept walking to me.
“Hi,” he said when he reached me.
“Hi?” I stated, not sure what was happening. What was he doing?
“Will you go on a date with me tomorrow?” he asked.
“I-I have class.”
He chuckled. “We’re skipping.”
I laughed. “The queen—”
“Has given us the day off tomorrow, and I was so excited that I stole these roses from her garden. Here, Eliza, so you don’t feeling jealous.” He tossed a yellow one at her, and it was only when a few chuckles arose beside me that I remembered we were still around other people. He gently handed the other yellow one to Sophia. Leaving him with just the single red rose. “So, Odette, will you spend your day off with me?”
“If you insist.” I grinned.
Leaning over, he kissed the side of my cheek. “I insist.”
“It’s a date.”
“Good. I look forward to it,” Gale whispered, giving me my rose and taking a step back from me. He glanced around the room. “Forgive me for the intrusion, ladies. Enjoy your lunch.”
With that, he backed out and left just as swiftly and almost magically as he had appeared. Slowly, I sank back into my chair.
“If you smile any harder, your face might crack, Odette,” Eliza teased me.
Let it crack, I thought, lifting the rose to my nose, sitting forward.
Across from me was, of course, Sophia. She smiled, but it wasn’t as fake as it was when she first came in.
And I took small comfort in that.
Chapter 19
The next morning, I was so excited I was scared.
Scared about leaving the palace. Scared that I had chosen the wrong outfit. Scared of what the papers were saying about me this morning. Scared that Gale had changed his mind.
“Miss?” I turned to see Gelula waiting for me at the door. The look on her face did not ease my fears at all.
“What is it?” I asked, rising from the vanity to meet her. “Did he cancel?”
“No, ma’am. It’s just—never mind.”
“Please do not do that, Gelula. It is only going to make me more paranoid. What is going on? Is it the papers? I haven’t looked—”
“No, miss. It’s just the Adelaar, and the queen were heard arguing last night.”
“What?”
She nodded. “Apparently, he did not get her approval for today. And when she tried to talk him out of it, he refused. And said—”
“And said?”
“He said, ‘I do not know if you are trying to help us or destroy us.’”
“And the whole palace is talking about it now.” It wasn’t a question. I knew they were, which was why she looked as she did. And just like that, my fear was justified. If Gale and I went out on this date, it was in direct opposition to the queen, and everyone would know we had disobeyed her. If we didn’t go, not only did that make yesterday’s act look like a complete and utter charade, but it would expose that he had lied about the queen giving us permission.
“What is happening now?” I asked, but before she could answer, there was a knock at the door. I stood straight, prepared for who I thought would be the queen, only for it to be Gale, standing in jeans, casual shirt, and jacket.
“Good morning.” He smiled, stepping into the room. “What’s wrong?”
I looked at Gelula, who curtsied before exiting, closing the door behind her.
“Are you sure it is a good morning?” I asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Gelula just told me you fought with the queen last night. Gale. Now everyone is going to be saying that we are—no, I am the one causing a rift—”
“Odette.” He put his hands on my face. “Breathe.”
“Gale.”
“Breathe.”
I took a deep breath for him.
“Good, now before you panic, know that the queen really is giving us the day off.”
“What? But—”
“No buts.” He chuckled, but slowly, his smile fell. “Sadly, we do not know who the palace mole is. But we can confuse the gossip. Yesterday, the queen gave us permission. Now the queen is against it. Whatever the press reports will not change what everyone saw at the lunch-in yesterday, so either I am lying, or the source is. Let them all fight over whatever it is they wish to believe. And let us go out. Let me take you out. Please. Please.”
I laughed and nodded as he playfully begged and pouted. “Okay.”
“Promise me you will not think of protocols or lessons or anything other than having fun today.”
“I promise.”
“Brilliant.” He kissed my lips quickly, and even though it was just a second, all of me tingled. He moved to the door but then stopped once more, turning around and kissing me again for much longer. As his body pressed against mine, his tongue in my mouth and mine in his, he stole all of my breath away. When he finally released me, he placed his forehead on mine, smiling. “Forgive me. It has been far too long since I’ve done that.”
“Nothing to forgive.”
Nodding, this time, he took my hand. He opened the door himself to the surprise of the people waiting outside. But he didn’t mind them or anyone else who watched us head toward the side entrance, hand in hand, nearly hugging. Part of me wanted to put a respectable distance between us, but Gale held on tighter so I couldn’t. I did my best to ignore everyone else, and because of how fast we were walking, we made it out the doors in record time.
There on the gravel was an old and classic red two-passenger convertible with white seats.
“I wished to take a motorcycle, but I was overruled by our handlers,” Gale jokingly said as he held open the door for me, nodding his head to Iskandar, who stood behind the car with Thelma; both of them had motorcycles of their own, though. “They wouldn’t even let me have the top down.”
“I am not a big fan of motorcycles, so it is all right with me,” I replied, getting inside.
“How are you not a fan of motorcycles?”
“They are dangerous.”
“Everything is dangerous when not handled with care,” he said, closing the door and moving around the car to the driver’s side to join me.
He paused and then looked at me. “Would you prefer to drive?”
“Me?”
“Oh, right. What was that thing you asked me for when I was in America?” He tapped his chin. “Oh, I remember. Do you have a license here?”
I rolled my eyes. “Will you please just drive?”
He snickered. “Yes, my love.”
“My love?”
“I thought you were compiling a list of everything I have ever called you?” he questioned, starting the engine. “How do you like my love? Or bevilën.”
“Bevilën?” I laughed. “Beloved? You are laying it on a little thick, don’t you think?”
“I haven’t even begun.”
He winked, and just like that, we were off the palace grounds and on the public streets. And I could breathe again. Winding down the window, I stuck my hand outside, letting the breeze lift it.
“You are so happy to be out that you haven’t even asked me where we are going, even though you hate surprises,” he teased me.
And he was right. I really was just that happy to be out. To see streets, the people, the life that was happening freely right outside. People and dogs, sitting at café’s, drinking and laughing and going to work. It was good to see the world was normal, even as I wasn’t.
He turned on the music, and the sound of the pop-ish rap music that came through startled me for a moment. I looked over to him, and he put on his sunglasses and started to dance as he drove. He grinned, and I couldn’t help it; I laughed...and danced along with him.
It felt good to get away.
The sound of her laugher renewed all of me. I did my best to stay focused on the road, but as she relaxed and became more comfortable...thus quieter, she stared out the window, breathing in slowly. I wanted to believe that
she was merely captivated by the city of Erelis and not pondering all the other things hurting her, hurting us. I hadn’t told her the complete truth. My mother and I did quarrel. She was not pleased that I had proclaimed she had given us permission before she actually had. And I had said some harsh things to her. But in the end, it was worth it because she finally did agree, and now we were out. Odette was out, even if it was only for a few hours.
“Where are we going exactly?” she finally asked as we drove farther out of the city.
I smiled. Now she was coming back. “It’s a surprise.”
“I do not like surprises, Gale.”
“But I do. Wait, haven’t we had this conversation before?”
She rolled her eyes, looking out the window again, then back at me. “Are we still in Erelis?”
“We are entering Arvendon.” She had no idea where that was, but hey, this was a good time to learn. “It is just a little bit outside of the city. Don’t worry. I will bring you back before the clock strikes twelve, Cinderella.”
“I like bevilën better now.”
I chuckled. “Shall we come up with a system? Cinderella, when you are being difficult—”
“Difficult? Cinderella is not difficult! She is practical!”
“Yes, very practical having mice make her clothes and whatnot.”
Her mouth dropped open, and she shook her head. “I do not know why I bother.”
“Me either. So, Cinderella, for when you are difficult or driving me mad. Bevilën, when you are so sweet that my heart swells. Odette for when we are in public—”
“And what exactly will I call you, huh? Your Royal Highness? Galahad, Gale?”
“Well, I was hoping you’d come up with something a little more endearing,” I shot back, parking the car. “Something like sweetie, baby, love.”
“I hardly think it would be appropriate to call you baby, Gale.”
“Didn’t you promise me you wouldn’t think—”
“Was that for the rest of my life?”
I shifted and turned to her. “Fine, I’ll leave you to think of a good nickname then. Until then, come on.”