by Beau Brown
“It wouldn’t be like that.”
He scowled. “Would you have claimed me if I wasn’t pregnant?”
I grimaced. “Not right now.”
“Exactly.”
“But I don’t hate the idea, Fox. I kind of like it.”
“You like the idea of having an omega? Since when?” He looked like he was about to laugh. “I thought you said you were going to stall all of that another twenty years?”
“Well, why wait? I have feelings for you already, and you’re carrying my child. It kind of feels like the time is right.”
“No.” He shook his head sharply. “Everyone would know you only claimed me out of pity.”
“They’d be wrong. This isn’t pity. This is logic.” I shrugged. “And it’s also a little self-serving on my part. This way alphas like Aaron would know to stay away.”
“God, alphas are so odd.”
My face warmed. “I want other alphas to stay away because I want you for myself. What’s so odd about that?”
“You’re just being possessive. You don’t really even know me.”
“I know enough to know you’re what I want in an omega.”
“Do you love me?” He arched one brow.
I laughed gruffly. “I don’t know… I’ve never been in love. I’m not sure what it feels like.”
“I have, and I don’t love you.”
I winced. “Ouch. Blunt as usual.”
He smiled. “Sorry. I should have said I could fall for you, but I haven’t let myself.”
“Why not?”
Lifting one shoulder, he said, “I don’t know. Maybe because I get the feeling you only want what you can’t have.”
“I don’t think that’s true.”
“It is for most alphas.”
I wrinkled my brow. “I don’t believe it’s fair of you to paint me with the same brush you’d paint other alphas. We aren’t stamped out of a machine. How would you like it if I said all omegas are the same?”
“Annoyed.” He grinned.
I was glad to see him smiling, it helped lighten the mood.
“How about we continue getting to know each other, and see how it goes?” I took his hand and tugged him closer. “Maybe you won’t be able to resist my charms, and you’ll fall madly in love with me.”
“Maybe,” he murmured, his expression enigmatic.
My smile faded. “I know this is a lot for you after what you’ve been through lately. But I think we’re a good team. I wasn’t lying that night at my house when I said I always love my time with you. I do. If you decide to keep the baby, and even if you don’t want to date me anymore, I’ll be here for you. I promise.”
He nodded. “Okay. I guess I can’t ask for more than that.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to say he could ask for whatever he wanted. But I didn’t say it. Not because I didn’t feel it, but because I knew he wouldn’t believe me. I brushed the hair off his forehead. “You look tired. You should sleep.”
He sighed. “Yes. I would love that.” He hesitated. “Will you stay?”
Pleased he wanted me to hang around, I smiled. “Of course.”
“Okay, good.” He laughed self-consciously. “I think sex will have to wait.”
“I know. I thought you were being too optimistic anyway.” I ruffled his hair. “Okay, off to sleep with you.”
“Yes, sir.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me down onto the bed with him.
Laughing, I rolled onto my back, my chest tight with emotion when he nestled against me. He was confused, that was obvious. I knew he must be scared, and he wasn’t sure if he could trust me. I’d have to show him with my actions because words wouldn’t convince him. I stroked his hair and listened to his breathing slow and then deepen. It felt perfect with him in my arms. The more I thought about claiming him, the more I liked the idea.
It was going to take time, but I wanted him to be mine. It was a rather surprising revelation for someone who’d assumed he wouldn’t have an omega and family for decades still. But I was slowly coming to realize I actually needed Fox. We were linked in some way I didn’t understand, and couldn’t fight. I wanted him with me, and the idea of not having him was unacceptable. Maybe I did love him. Maybe this gnawing desire to protect and cherish Fox was what love was.
Instead of panicking at the idea, I tightened my grip around Fox and sighed, enjoying the warmth and contentment being near him gave me.
Chapter Twelve
Fox
“This is nuts.” Priscilla laughed, slathering peanut butter on toast. “We’re pregnant at the same time. I mean, what are the odds?”
I smiled, feeling a bit nauseous at the sight of her food. “So you really haven’t had any morning sickness?” We were in Priscilla’s apartment having a little get together with Mom.
“Nope.” Priscilla took a big bite of her toast, rolling her eyes and making a yummy sound.
“Lucky you.” I sighed, and sipped my mint tea. “I’m sick every morning and afternoon.”
My mom came up behind me, and she patted my back. “You take after me with that. Sorry, honey.”
I sighed. “At least it’s only the first trimester.”
“Yeah.” Mom helped herself to some tea and sat next to me. “Although, your Aunt Julia had nausea the whole way through her pregnancy.”
I looked at her, my eyes wide with horror. “God, no.”
Shrugging, Mom laughed. “She lived.”
“I’d die.” Priscilla said, licking her fingers. “I’d literally die.”
“No you wouldn’t. You’d only feel like you were dying.” Mom grinned.
I glanced around. “Where’s Doug today?”
“He went to see his parents.” She sighed. “I was going to go with him, but then we had a little tiff, and I didn’t feel like riding in the car with him.”
“What did you fight about?” Mom asked.
“It was dumb.” Priscilla grimaced. “He was late to our first doctor appointment, and I kind of lost my shit.”
Mom frowned. “Lost your shit? What does that mean?”
“She got mad,” I said. “Get with the lingo, Mom.”
“Well nobody said that when I was growing up. Is there some reason losing your temper isn’t good enough?”
Priscilla grinned. “Anyway, as I was saying, I over reacted and we got in an argument.”
“And he didn’t want you to go with him then?” I asked.
“No, it wasn’t him. It was me. I refused to ride in the car with him.” Her cheeks were pink. “I should have gone with him, so now I feel like an idiot. His mom will probably be mad at me.”
“Nah, she loves you.” I set my tea down. “I still haven’t met Liam’s mom.”
“She lives out of town. That will be harder to arrange.” Priscilla moved to rinse her plate in the sink.
“How are you and Liam getting along?” Mom asked, her gaze intent.
“Really well.” My cheeks felt warm for some reason just thinking about Liam. It had been two weeks since we’d first discovered my pregnancy, and Liam had been amazing. Attentive, helpful, comforting. He was open about how much he liked me now, where as before, he’d been more guarded. I was still struggling with showing him how much I liked him. Being pregnant made me feel twice as vulnerable, and I found it difficult to let go and believe he liked me as much as he seemed to.
“All the nurses are so jealous he’s yours.” Priscilla snorted a laugh. “It’s comical.”
“He’s not really mine.”
She scowled. “Of course he is. What are you talking about?”
I shrugged. “You know what I mean.”
“Uh, no. Not really.”
“He hasn’t claimed me.” I glanced at Mom. “Sorry. Is this too much for you?”
She laughed. “I’m not a blushing virgin, dear. I know what claiming is.”
“I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“I don’t think that’s possible. I
’ve had two kids. I get it.” She swiveled in her chair to face me. “I’m more concerned that Liam hasn’t claimed you yet. What is he waiting for?”
Priscilla lifted one brow. “Yeah, Fox. What’s he waiting for?”
Mom glanced at her. “Am I missing something?”
I grimaced. “Not really.”
“Oh, bull. Yes, you’re missing something. Fox won’t let Liam claim him because he thinks he just wants to do it because Fox is pregnant. He thinks it would only be pity.”
“What’s wrong with not wanting to rush him? I mean, shouldn’t we be in love for him to do that?” I asked.
Priscilla scrunched her face in a frown. “Bro, you go all pink and trembly whenever Liam comes around. I think it’s safe to say you love him.”
I winced because I feared she was right. My plan had been to keep my emotions in check with Liam, but he was so good to me, and I craved being around him so much. I’d fallen hard despite my good intentions. “You’re missing the point. I don’t want him claiming me if he isn’t in love with me.”
“Uh, I’ve also seen the goofy look he gets when he’s around you. Both of you idiots are in love.”
My stomach churned. “He hasn’t said he loves me.”
“Have you said you love him?” Mom asked.
“God, no!” I flinched. “I can’t do that.”
“Why not?” Mom looked puzzled. “If you love him, and he loves you, what’s the point of not saying it?”
I exhaled roughly. “Because then you can’t take it back.”
“Do you want to take it back?” Mom frowned.
“No… I don’t know. What if it’s just hormones making me think I love him?”
Laughing, Priscilla said, “In my case, hormones are more likely to make me think I don’t love Doug.” She went to the cupboard and grabbed a bag of Circus Animal cookies. She tore the bag open and offered them to me and Mom. “I’m happy one minute and yelling at Doug the next.”
I took a cookie and nibbled on the sweet icing. “Doug seems happy.”
“He’s so nice.” Priscilla slumped. “I’m so grumpy lately and he’s been so good about it.”
“Doug is a good boy.” Mom smiled. “You’ll feel less surly in a few months.”
“Months? I was really hoping it would pass sooner than that.” She sighed, and turned her attention on me again. “Enough about me. What are we going to do about Fox and his fear of intimacy?”
“I’m not afraid of intimacy.”
Mom chuckled. “Yes you are. You’ve always been afraid to get close to anyone.”
“What?” I widened my eyes. “Since when?”
“Everyone you’ve dated has had the same complaints; you put your work first, and you don’t make time for them.” Priscilla laughed. “You know it’s true. Don’t bother denying it.”
I frowned. “Jerry dumped me. He cheated on me.”
“I know. But you always pick these guys who are flakes. Nobody thought Jerry was going to be around permanently. I’m surprised you lasted as long as you did,” Priscilla said. “He hated your job. He hated your friends. He hated us. He was a disaster for you.”
“She’s right, son. You pick guys who treat you poorly, and cheat on you, so that you don’t have to get close to them.”
I was surprised to hear their opinion of me, but I couldn’t really argue because what they were saying made sense. I did pick guys who weren’t predisposed to commitment. Had I actually been doing that on purpose? I’d always thought I just had really bad luck with men. Now that I thought about it, the whole time I’d been with Jerry, I’d never wanted him to claim me. It wouldn’t have occurred to me to have him do that. Had I known all along I wasn’t going to stay with him?
“You know we’re right.” Priscilla smirked. “I never bothered to point it out to you because there was no real reason. You were focused on your job, and seemed happy enough. But an alpha like Liam doesn’t come along every day. I don’t want you falling back into bad habits and driving him away somehow.”
“I’m… I’m not trying to drive him away.”
“Nobody will hang around forever if it looks like it’s going nowhere. If Liam wants more with you, be sure he knows you want that too.” Priscilla’s gaze was earnest. “You’re having his baby. You light up like a candle when he walks in the room. You obviously are in love with him, so let him claim you.”
“I just don’t want him to regret being with me.”
“No way.” Mom ruffled my hair. “You didn’t see him in the hospital, but we did. He was a mess worrying about you.”
“I say you go home, invite him over, and beg him to claim you.” Priscilla grinned.
“I’m not doing that,” I grumbled. “God, that would be humiliating. He wasn’t even planning on claiming anyone or having offspring until he was in his fifties.”
“But then he met you, and he wants that now.” Priscilla touched my hand. “He’s told you that. Why don’t you believe him?”
I hung my head. “I just don’t know what he sees in me. He’s like… perfect… and I’m just boring old me.”
“What?” My mom scowled. “Are you crazy? You’re gorgeous, smart, funny.”
“And you’re my mom. You have to say that.”
“No. I’m saying it because I have eyes. Liam loves you. I’d bet your father’s best golf club on that.”
I smiled affectionately. “I’m sure Dad would be pleased to hear that.”
She chuckled. “You know what I mean. That man loves you. It’s as plain as day on his face whenever he looks at you.”
“See, even mom can see it.” Priscilla sighed.
I groaned and rubbed my face roughly. “Why is this so hard?”
“You’re scared.” Mom shrugged. “But you have such a great alpha right in front of you. I hope you won’t let fear keep you from grabbing on to him. That would be an awful shame, son.”
“But I can’t think of anything worse than Liam claiming me, and then a few years down the road regretting it.”
Priscilla wrinkled her brow, and said softly, “Really? Because I can’t think of anything more horrible than having love offered to me, and being too afraid to accept it.”
I swallowed hard as her words hit their mark. Was I risking losing Liam by being so timid about asking for what I wanted? We were happy together. We got along so well that sometimes I had to stop myself from gushing my feelings to him. Why was I holding back? Maybe Priscilla and Mom were right. Liam was amazing, and if he was stupid enough to think he wanted me, why was I fighting it so hard?
“Maybe I should have a talk with him tonight,” I said.
“Yes,” Priscilla squeaked. “Do it. Make an honest man of him.”
Mom laughed. “He supports your career a hundred percent. Not a lot of alphas will do that, Fox. He wants you to have it all.”
“Yeah. So take it all.” Priscilla nodded.
Excitement ramped inside me as I imagined letting Liam claim me. I almost couldn’t picture what a happy life with my own alpha looked like. But then I just had to remember the last few weeks and it became clearer. I’d never been so fulfilled as my time spent with Liam. He met every need I had, physical and mental. I knew he wanted to also be there emotionally for me. But I’d held him back, fearful of failing with him. But really, what could be worse than driving him away because I was a coward?
I slid off my stool, and I drained the last of my mint tea. I set the cup down and said, “Okay. I think maybe you’re right.”
“Really?” Mom looked thrilled.
“You’re going to let Liam be your alpha? For real?” Priscilla clapped her hands together.
My pulse sped up at the thought. “I’m going to see how he feels about it.”
“Yeah, you do that.” Priscilla laughed. “Because everybody but you knows exactly how he feels about it.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“I am.” Priscilla shrugged.
I kissed Mom and
my sister goodbye, and left the apartment feeling nervous, but determined. This was either going to be the best day of my life, or the worst, and that all depended on Liam.
****
When Liam showed up at my door, he looked good enough to eat in a sky blue shirt, and jeans that hugged his thighs. My stomach somersaulted when he kissed me hello, and his clean scent filled my nostrils and stirred my desire. Sex was always so good with him, I had trouble restraining myself sometimes. I was nervous about telling him that I’d changed my mind about him claiming me. I really hoped he was still interested in that, or things were about to get super awkward.
“I was surprised to get your text.” He smiled. “You’re usually busy on a Wednesday night.”
“I rescheduled the strippers so I could see you instead.”
His lips twitched. “Very funny.”
I moved away from him because I couldn’t think straight when he was too close. “I decided maybe we should talk.”
His jaw tensed, but he kept his pleasant expression. “What about?”
I gave a gruff laugh. “God, I really wished I could have a drink right about now.”
“Is it that bad?”
“No.” I grimaced. “Not at all. I’m just nervous.”
He crossed his arms. “Why?”
I led the way into the living room, and I sat on the couch. I patted the cushion beside me. “Sit.”
He obliged, looking uneasy. “I feel like I’m in trouble.”
I laughed a little too loudly. “No. Not at all.”
“Okay.” He didn’t sound convinced.
I cleared my throat. “We’ve been seeing each other a few weeks now, and I thought maybe we should discuss how it’s going.”
“Well, I think it’s going fantastic… maybe you see it differently?” A worry line appeared between his eyes.
The fact that he was nervous relaxed me a little. If he wasn’t really into me, he wouldn’t be concerned about us having a serious talk. “I think it’s been great. Really good.”
Some tension left his mouth. “I’m glad.”
“As you know, I’m pregnant with your baby.” I grimaced because I sounded like I was giving a power point presentation to my sales team. “I mean, of course you know that.” God, I was really making this harder than it needed to be.