by B. B. Oak
“In wildness is the preservation of the world, yet one must travel farther and farther to experience it,” he replied, staring dolefully at the railroad tracks on the opposite bank of Walden Pond. He looked back at me and managed a smile. “Should I bid you to take care too, Adam? No, I think not. Instead I bid you to go confidently in the direction of your dreams and live the life you imagine.”
And so I will. For I shall soon be heading in the direction of Julia, to tell her that we can now live the life we have only dared imagine. We can embrace without caution or restraint. We can enjoy each other completely without fearing the results of our conjugal bliss.
When I returned to the house I paused at the office doorway to watch Grandfather apply leeches to Justice Phyfe’s leg veins to assuage the pain of his gout. Phyfe sighed with relief, evidence of the power of suggestion upon the body rather than the efficacy of bleeding as far as I am concerned. Even so, I was happy to see that Grandfather felt fit enough to practice his own brand of medicine again.
I went to the kitchen and devoured most of the apple pandowdy Gran had brought by earlier. As I masticated I ruminated on my conversation with her this morning. She had come by to inquire how Julia was faring after her horrible ordeal with Upson, and when I informed her that Julia had sailed off to Europe, Gran looked stunned.
“For good?” she asked me.
“There’s no good in it, but yes, that is her intention. I frightened her off by proposing marriage.”
Gran regarded me somberly. “You look mighty bleak, dearie. Mighty bleak indeed.”
“I am desolate. My heart urges me to pursue Julia, yet my conscience cautions me that I should let her go. As much as it pains me to admit it, I know she would be better off marrying somebody else.”
Gran took umbrage. “Ain’t nobody better than you, my boy. You come from good strong Tuttle stock.”
“Do not forget I am also half Walker and so is Julia. Therefore, our future happiness together is cursed.”
“No, it ain’t,” Gran said in a dismissive, flat tone.
“But surely you realize that we cannot have a natural marital relationship, Gran. Because of the bloodline we share, engendering children would be wickedly reckless.”
“ ’Twas yer ma who was reckless,” Gran muttered.
“How?”
“Never you mind,” Gran said and made her way toward the door.
I walked out to the back porch with her. “How was my mother reckless?” I persisted.
“When she climbed that consarn tree to catch a swarm of wild bees, was that not reckless? If she had taken more care, you would not have been left a bereft orphan.”
“I am grateful I had you and Grandpa Tuttle to raise me up, Gran. I had a happy childhood.”
“I want you to be happy now, Adam.”
I shook my head. “I cannot be. Not without Julia as my wife.”
“Well, if spunk and gumption are what yer lookin’ fer in a mate, I reckon she’s got plenty enough to suit you. She acted most bravely up on Devil’s Perch. And she acted most unselfishly by leaving you yesterday. It has always been clear to me that she loves you. But I did not think she would make you a good wife, what with her ambitions and independent ways.”
“She is the only woman I will ever want.”
“Then I reckon it was mighty wrong of me to deceive her.” Gran lowered her eyes and stared at her clenched, boney hands. “I encouraged Julia’s belief in a falsehood, Adam. Now it grieves me to see you so miserable without her. But the truth can set things right.”
“The truth about what?”
“Yer father.” Gran heaved a sigh and continued. “You was born on the wrong side of the blanket, my boy. You don’t have a drop of Walker blood in you.” She waited for my reaction. All she got was a puzzled frown. “Owen Walker did not sire you, Adam.You was begotten whilst he was off whalin’.”
“Are you sure of this, Gran?”
“Sure as shootin’ Oh, how we prayed together, my Sarah and me, that Owen’s ship would come in early so she could claim the babe growin’ in her belly as his. And his ship did land early enough, thank the Lord, to pass you off as a legitimate Walker. ’Nuff said.”
Hardly enough said to satisfy me. “But who is my father, Gran?”
“Another mariner. Not a whaler though. A riverboat captain. Yer Ma met him when she went out to visit my sister Hattie in St. Louis. Fool that I was, I urged her to go to cheer her up. She was so sad when Owen was gone. And he was gone far too often, Adam, and for far too long at a time. I ain’t claimin’ it was his fault, mind you.Yet I cannot fault my daughter entirely. She was very young and lonely. And like I said, she was reckless, God bless her.”
“Why did you not tell me this sooner?”
“I promised yer ma I would never tell you. Or tell anyone. Even yer Grandpa Tuttle didn’t know. Nor yer Walker grandparents, of course.”
“Doc Silas has always claimed I am the spitting image of his son.”
“You don’t look nothin’ at all like Owen Walker, Adam. But we only see what we want to see, and the old doc wants to see his lost son in you.You gonna tell him the truth?”
“I don’t know,” I said. And I still do not know. My mind is too filled with joyous thoughts of reuniting with Julia to consider much else.
“Do you forgive me for not speakin’ up sooner?” Gran asked me, clenching her hands again.
My response was to wrap my arms around her and lift her off her feet in a hearty hug. “You have made me the happiest man in the world.”
“So you don’t mind about not being a Walker?”
“I am still who I was before you told me, Gran. Nothing has changed about me except my determination to marry Julia as soon as I can.”
I shall start preparing for my voyage directly. Before long I will be with Julia again, and, as my dear, reckless mother’s spirit whispered to me when I was in such dire straits, all shall be well.
KENSINGTON BOOKS are published by
Kensington Publishing Corp.
119 West 40th Street
New York, NY 10018
Copyright © 2013 by B. B. Oak
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the Publisher, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.
Kensington and the K logo Reg. U.S. Pat. & TM Off.
ISBN: 978-0-7582-9023-6
eISBN-13: 978-0-7582-9024-3
eISBN-10: 0-7582-9024-1
First Kensington Electronic Edition: November 2013