She pressed her forehead against the door. Heavens, if they were to journey so far together, she would have to maintain her guard night and day. She was in danger of losing everything to this man.
* * *
Madeleine watched the party of Dragoons ride up to the door of Calder House. Colonel Sowton and Major Rutter were waiting for them and their glossy horses looked magnificent, especially next to the two sturdy little ponies that were to carry Grant and Maddie and their saddlebags.
Madeleine turned to take her leave of Sir Edmund and his wife. She had said her real goodbyes to the family the previous day, before Major Rutter and the Colonel had returned from their duties.
‘We may not have an opportunity to speak openly in the morning,’ she had told them.
They were gathered in the morning room and Sir Edmund had pressed into her hands his copy of Robinson Crusoe, saying he hoped she would find room for it in her saddlebags.
‘I know you did not have time to finish reading it and thought it might help you fill the tedium of the sea voyage,’ he told her, smiling.
‘Oh, how kind you are to me!’ She smiled up at him mistily. ‘I owe you such a debt of gratitude and I am fearful that our being here will have put you in danger.’
‘Hush now, let us not worry about that,’ Sir Edmund told her. ‘The officers are moving on and it is unlikely the deception will be discovered, but if it should, Rathmore and I have already come up with a story.’
‘You have?’
Any feelings of gratitude faded and she cast an indignant look at Grant, but before he could answer Lady McBinnie stepped in.
‘Yes, my dear, and I believe it will answer perfectly! The two of you were having a clandestine affair, unbeknownst to your parents, and your visit here presented an opportunity for you to run away together. But then, having discovered the deceit, we will wash our hands of you! There, is that not ingenious?’
Maddie could not be easy. She said, ‘But if they look for us in Perth?’
‘That is highly unlikely,’ replied Sir Edmund. ‘I believe the British Army has more to worry about currently than a pair of young runaways, do not you?’
With that she had to be satisfied and, remembering the conversation as she accompanied Grant and the officers out of the house, Maddie reflected that there was nothing she could do now, except pray that she had not brought ruin upon these good people.
Anne ran out to give her a final hug.
‘Goodbye, Cousin.’ She pulled Maddie closer, whispering, ‘Take care of Grant, my dear Madeleine. I am trusting you to make him happy.’
As she stepped back Maddie looked at her in consternation, but Anne only smiled, shook her head and went away into the house.
* * *
The journey to Fort George took the best part of the day, their progress slowed by rain that turned the tracks to rivers of mud and soaked through their thick cloaks. The Major had sent a man ahead to bespeak rooms for them and when they arrived at the inn, Maddie’s gratitude to the officer for his efforts was not feigned.
Having dismounted to help her down, Major Rutter took her hand.
‘It has been an honour to be of service,’ he said, bowing over her fingers. ‘I hope you will not think too badly of me.’
‘Badly of you?’ She gave a little trill of laughter. ‘Whatever for, Major?’
‘For questioning you so closely, madam. For appearing at all suspicious of you.’
‘Good heavens, sir, you were doing your duty. How can anyone blame you for that?’
‘You are all goodness, ma’am. I bid you adieu and wish you a safe journey.’
He kissed her hand, nodding to Grant before climbing back into the saddle to lead his men away.
‘Well, thank goodness that is over,’ she muttered as the Dragoons clattered off into the mist. ‘I was very much afraid they might be staying here tonight and we would be obliged to dine with them.’
‘That was a worry, I admit,’ Grant replied. ‘As it is, we can relax a little this evening. Shall I order dinner?’
‘If you do not object, I should prefer to dine in my room,’ she told him. ‘The rain has soaked right through to my petticoats and I need to dry them before the fire.’
‘But you have no maid. Would you like me to help you undress?’ His dark eyes glinted.
‘No, I would not. Although I have no doubt you are well practised!’
‘Oh, yes.’
She met his laughing glance and realised how improper it was to be bandying such words with a man. Her cheeks flaming, she muttered an excuse and hurried before him into the inn.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
They left at dawn the following morning, praying there was no one to see them heading west rather than east, and neither of them relaxing until at last they turned off the road and headed up into the hills.
Occasionally they met groups of ragged people, mainly women, children and the elderly who had been driven from their homes. Grant and Maddie would share their camp for a night before moving on, but mostly they were obliged to sleep in the open, wrapped in thick cloaks that felt inadequate for cold nights on the high mountains. Madeleine made no complaint, but Grant guessed she was feeling the discomfort of travelling in such conditions.
* * *
At last the weather improved. Clear blue skies replaced lowering cloud and Grant halted, staring out at the familiar landscape. He turned to Maddie and gave her an encouraging smile.
‘We have four, maybe five more days to travel, but the going will be easier,’ he told her. ‘I know my way much better from here.’
‘I am heartily glad to hear it.’
‘There is a small village a few miles further on. That is where we are heading.’ He glanced at the sun. ‘We should be there by nightfall.’
‘Really? Does that mean a bed for the night?’ She exhaled dramatically. ‘That would be so comfortable! However, we have been disappointed before so I shall not build up my hopes.’
Her response was spirited, even though he knew she must be exhausted.
‘No, very wise.’ He smiled at her. ‘Come along, let us see what we can find.’
* * *
When they reached the little village, it was very quiet, but there was no military presence and he managed to secure accommodation for them at the small tavern. Their arrival was the subject of much speculation, several pairs of eyes following them as they made their way through the taproom and up the stairs to two adjoining chambers secreted in the eaves.
Madeleine stood quietly as Grant inspected the rooms.
‘I do not believe these locks would keep anyone out,’ he said at last. ‘I suggest you push the washstand across the door when you retire tonight. And do not leave the room without me to escort you.’
‘Do you not trust our host?’
‘I trust no one.’
They spent an uneasy hour dining in the public room before retiring to their beds, where sheer exhaustion overcame Maddie’s anxiety and she fell into a deep sleep.
* * *
By the time she awoke the following morning Grant had already gone out, leaving a note pushed under her door telling her to keep to her room until he returned.
She knew him too well by now to be affronted at his heavy-handed manner and she pottered about her room until he returned and escorted her downstairs to breakfast. When she enquired where he had been, he merely replied that she would know soon enough.
‘You are infuriatingly secretive,’ she told him crossly.
‘I beg a thousand pardons, but it is best we discuss it elsewhere.’
His eyes were glinting with mischief, but she knew he would tell her nothing more and she held her tongue. She would not give him the satisfaction of begging for more information.
* * *
They left the inn shortly after. Gra
nt chose to follow a little-used track through the trees that covered the hillside. When they reached a small clearing, he drew rein.
‘This will do.’
‘For what?’
He dismounted, signalling that Madeleine should follow suit. He asked her to tether the ponies to a tree branch while he rummaged in his saddlebags and pulled out two packages.
‘Here.’ He held one out to her. ‘I think it is time for you to become a young man again. Anyone looking for the young couple who recently left the McBinnies’ house will find the trail grows cold after Fort George.’
She looked down at the package. ‘Am I to be your younger brother again?’
‘No, that will not do. It is much more likely that I will be recognised from here on and everyone knows I am my father’s only son.’
His disgraced and disowned son!
The thought came unbidden and Grant was swamped with regret for what he had done. His mother might forgive him, but Father? His fighting for the rebels had put at risk Ardvarrick and everything his father had worked so hard to achieve, including the prosperity of his people. Any hint of Jacobite sympathies and the army would put everything to the torch. They might still lose Ardvarrick because of his rash, impetuous actions.
Better that I had died on Drumossie Moor with my comrades.
‘Well, what do you think?’
Madeleine’s voice interrupted his reverie. He looked up to see she had emerged from the screen of bushes and was strutting up and down the clearing.
‘I make a very convincing young man, do I not?’
The sight of her drove away his dark thoughts.
‘An amazing transformation!’
She wore the coat and breeches with assurance and the silk stockings with their embroidered clocks that he had chosen for her displayed her shapely ankles well. Far too well, in his opinion. Thank heaven he had brought with him the spatterdashes to wear with her boots.
He smiled. ‘I judged your size very well.’
‘Indeed you did, I am not at all displeased with the result. Although the breeches are a little too big at the waist.’
‘Come here and I will try to lace them a little tighter for you.’
Obediently she stood with her back to him, holding the tails of her coat out of the way while he grappled with the laces in the waistband.
‘There, I have tied them as tight as I can, but I’m afraid they will never fit snugly around you.’
To demonstrate his point, he spanned her waist with his hands, resting them lightly on her hips. Immediately he realised his mistake. Madeleine tensed and he felt the change in the air—everything was suddenly hushed, expectant. He should release her, but for the life of him he could not do it.
* * *
Madeleine held her breath. One wrong word, one false move and her self-control would crumble. She wanted so much to turn to Grant and throw herself into his arms, to let him kiss away her worries and her fears. But it would not do. She might want him, desperately, and he might succumb to his desires and live with her for a while. He might even want to marry her, but when the time came for him to return to his homeland, he needed to be free, unfettered. Britain and France were old enemies. Any ties to a Frenchwoman would only hinder his attempts to rebuild his life and take his rightful place as the future Laird of Ardvarrick.
She passed her tongue over her dry lips and forced herself to speak in a matter-of-fact way.
‘Well, they will have to do.’ She put her hands over his and gently removed them. ‘What about yourself, have you no new clothes?’
‘My riding dress is shabby and unremarkable. It will not attract attention. The only thing I have purchased is a plaid to add to our comfort if we need to sleep out of doors again.’
Once again her unruly thoughts ran riot. She could not prevent her insides from turning to water at the thought of lying with Grant, wrapped together snugly in the plaid, bodies touching, limbs tangling...
She turned away, jamming her hat over her curls. Damn the man. How dare he have such an effect upon her!
She said, roughly, ‘We should be moving, there are many miles yet to travel. Come along.’
* * *
They rode on, keeping to the hills above deserted valleys, where Madeleine saw farms and bothies that were no more than smoking ruins. The long summer day was giving way to the twilight that passed for night in these northern lands when Grant suggested they look for somewhere to stop for the night. They found a shallow cave to give them a little protection and sat down on the folded plaid to eat the last of their meagre supply of food.
Their silence was companionable, but Madeleine could not forget the devastation she had seen. Even the land had been laid waste. She had noted Grant’s growing anger at such wanton destruction, but had not known what to say to him. She drank from her water bottle and offered it to Grant. He declined and reached into his pocket for his whisky flask.
‘Tonight I need something stronger than water.’
‘You are angry at what the soldiers are doing.’
‘It pains me to see it.’ He turned to look at her. ‘Is it so obvious?’
‘Yes. I am very sorry for what is happening.’
‘My homeland is being ravaged and I am powerless to help.’
She could find no words and remained silent. After a moment he gave a long, bitter sigh.
‘I had not long left Fort Augustus when I saw what the British are capable of. I came upon a party of soldiers. They were supposedly searching for Jacobite soldiers and, failing to find them, they took out their anger and frustration on the poor. No one was spared. I could do nothing, one man against so many. I chose to hide in the heather and watch.’
‘You cannot blame yourself for that.’
‘Can I not? By dawn the village was nothing more than a charred ruin. I shall never forget the sight or the smell of it.’
‘It haunts your dreams?’ she asked, remembering his nightmare.
He nodded. Silently she tucked her arm in his and rested her head on his shoulder, trying to convey some comfort. After a few moments he continued.
‘On the far side of the village, upwind, the soldiers were sleeping. They had gorged themselves on the villagers’ food and whisky from an illegal still. I thought I might attack them then, but they were not so undisciplined that they had not posted guards and there was little chance of catching them unawares.’ He took another drink. ‘I might have killed, what...three, four of them before I was despatched. Instead I slunk away. I told myself I would come back one day and have my revenge. Perhaps when the Prince gathers another army, but in truth I have had a bellyful of killing. I want only to go home.’
‘To Ardvarrick?’
‘Aye.’ A shadow of pain crossed his face. ‘The one place I cannot go.’
‘Perhaps not yet,’ she said, wanting so much to comfort him. ‘But later, when this has passed—’
‘How can it pass? How can I ever return, knowing that my friends are dead, that my family will lose everything, because of me?’
She turned to him ‘Oh, Grant, you cannot be sure that will happen.’
‘You are wrong,’ he said bitterly. ‘You have seen for yourself how the army is moving through the Highlands, systematically destroying everything.’
She could not deny it and, as they settled down to sleep, her heart ached for him.
* * *
As they moved westwards the land grew more mountainous. Their route took them through high passes where clouds shrouded them in mist, coating their outer clothes in droplets that sparkled like diamonds whenever the sun broke through. At last they crested a hill and reached a pass Grant knew well. A place he had never thought to see again.
Regret twisted his gut as he thought of his family. How wrong he had been to disobey his father and leave Ardvarrick. But even that would
not have mattered if he could have persuaded Jamie and the others to return home. He had failed them. He had failed everyone.
‘Why have we stopped, where are we?’ Madeleine’s voice broke through his gloomy thoughts and he tried to be cheerful, for her sake.
‘The end of our journey is very nearly in sight. We are not much more than twenty miles from our destination.’
The information was welcome, but Madeleine was too tired to do more than nod. She could see nothing but the enveloping mist. She followed Grant, guiding her pony down the winding track until at last they descended out of the cloud. Before them, away to the west, the sky was almost unbroken blue and the landscape was bathed in the golden glow of the late-afternoon sun. A meandering pass descended like a ribbon through the glen to the very edge of a huge body of water that stretched to the western horizon, bordered on each side by rugged hills covered by woodland.
‘Oh, how beautiful!’ She spoke without thinking.
‘That is Loch Òrail,’ he told her. ‘The golden loch.’
She nodded, unable to take her eyes from the dazzling waters. ‘That is where Papa instructed me to go, is it not? I remember the name from his letter. He said there is an inn at the head of the loch where I will find someone to take me on the final leg of my journey to the coast.’
Grant nodded, keeping his eyes fixed on the view before him. She reached across and touched his arm.
‘You have told me how much it pains you to see what is happening here, so near your home.’ He looked at her blankly, as if her words had not registered. She continued, ‘You have kept your promise to me. You do not need to come further.’
He smiled, although she could see it cost him an effort.
‘Of course I am coming with you. Have I not said I have no home in this land now? Come along, we should reach Kinloch before dark.’
Harlequin Historical May 2021--Box Set 1 of 2 Page 18