by Jeannie Watt
“Last offer. And I’m only persisting because you’re doing me a favor with these lessons when I know you didn’t want to do them. I’d like to do something for you.” He met her gaze. “Just so you know, when push comes to shove, I’m a no-means-no kind of guy.”
“Just not with lawn mowers.”
“I’m serious.”
She believed him. There was no way she could look at him and not. “The reason I said no is because I have trouble being beholden to people. I always have. My go-to answer when offered help is usually no.”
“Sometimes you should consider yes. People like to help.” He raised his dark eyebrows. “You like to help.”
“Yes. I do.”
“Think about it.”
Her lips parted as she drew in a long breath and when his gaze slid down to her lips, her lungs seemed to seize up.
They both jumped at the sound of the barn door closing. “How long until they can leave their mother?” Maddie asked as she and Sully came toward the truck.
“A couple weeks.”
Maddie waggled her eyebrows at her father, who immediately started shaking his head. “You know Pete’s allergic to cats.”
“But you aren’t.”
“We’ll talk later.”
“Dad...”
“Maddie...”
Maddie blew out a breath, but she didn’t seem one bit disheartened, which meant that Drew might have a scuffle on his hands over the next several weeks as the kittens became cuter. Giving her father a we’ll see look, she headed to her side of the truck.
“You can take the mower,” Faith said as he reached for his door handle.
“I’m not strong-arming you into a free repair, am I?”
She smiled and pointed at the barn. “It’s in there. Next to the kittens.”
“Which are so cute,” Maddie said.
A moment later, Drew returned with the mower. He easily hefted it into the back of his truck without bothering to lower the tailgate.
“See you around.”
“Next week,” she said. The guy left her feeling breathless in a number of ways that she was going to have to analyze once she was safely alone.
He got into his side of the truck and Maddie leaned forward to wave. A few seconds later, they were driving out of the ranch, leaving Faith and Sully staring after them.
What had just happened during her lesson?
Who was schooling whom?
CHAPTER SEVEN
DREW AND MADDIE spent the rest of Saturday and all day Sunday hammering two-by-fours together to frame her room. When the weekend ended, they had the walls framed in. The entrance would be the current back door to the cabin, and after the room was complete, he and Pete would cut and finish a new back door on the opposite side of the kitchen.
According to Lissa’s plans, the appliances would remain in place, but the cupboards and cabinets would be moved to the opposite wall, allowing access to Maddie’s room and creating a better flow through the small cabin. The half loft, where Drew currently slept, would become an office area, and the storage room would be enlarged and a sliding door and porch attached, thus creating the master bedroom.
Drew didn’t know if he would follow through with the last renovation. The thought of a master bedroom and no one to share it with was too hard to deal with. He focused on Maddie’s room and the revamp of the kitchen space, the bathroom remodel. He would reevaluate later.
Late Sunday afternoon, he and Maddie put down their tools and headed to the truck for the trip down the mountain to Pete and Cara’s place. He loaded Faith’s newly repaired mower in the back of the truck, and Maddie told him to take a close look at the kittens when he dropped it off.
“I think I’m allergic, too,” he said.
“Why don’t you want kittens?” Maddie demanded as they drove down the winding road.
“Was that kittens, as in plural?”
“Does it matter?” she asked brusquely.
“Because I’ve never had a cat and I’m afraid of doing it wrong.”
“Seems like you’re afraid of a lot of stuff lately.” Drew sent her a frown. “What I mean,” she continued patiently, “is that you’re afraid to have me live with you, and you’re afraid of horses.”
“I rode the horse.” And kind of liked it, although the feeling that the animal could do anything at any minute still freaked him out. But in case Maddie didn’t understand, he added, “I enjoyed it. I like lessons.”
And his instructor interested him, in a way he hadn’t been interested in a long time. Not that he was going to do anything about it, but it felt good to know that there were parts of him that, despite lying dormant, were not dead.
“And maybe you’d like having a cat or two,” Maddie continued.
He wasn’t going to win this fight, so he kept his mouth shut. They passed the ritzy wood and glass house and rounded the corner to the Lightning Creek Ranch. The arena where they rode came into sight and then Maddie pointed. “Look. Faith is barrel racing. Can we stop?”
“I think she’s training, so maybe we can ask her about it next week.”
“You have to drop the lawn mower off.”
“I’m not going to drag her out of the field to do that.”
“Fine. But I want to watch her barrel race some time.”
“You can—when you get invited. It’s nice that Faith is giving us lessons. Let’s not push things.”
“All right.” Maddie let out a loud sigh. “I hope we get to trot next week.”
“And lope the week after?”
“That was kind of my schedule.”
Drew was pretty sure that barrel racing would be scheduled the week after that.
“But...” Maddie added, “I don’t want to learn bad habits. Faith says it takes a long time to unlearn them and I need to be patient.”
“If you learn to be patient, you’ll have an easier time in life.”
“How did you learn patience?” Maddie asked innocently.
“The hard way. Best to pick up the practice now.”
“I’ll try.”
“You won’t regret it.”
For once the lights were off in the shop when Drew turned into Pete’s driveway. He parked at the end of the walk and walked with Maddie to the kitchen door.
“Hey, guys,” Cara called from the sink, where she was elbow-deep in suds. “Have a good day?”
“Not as good as yesterday, but good,” Maddie said as she headed down the hall to her room.
“She really loves the riding lessons,” Cara said, lifting the sweater she was washing out of the suds, then pushing it back in again. “That was a good call.”
“Facing a few of my own demons in the process.”
Cara’s shoulders seemed to tighten and then she pushed the sweater deeper into the sink. “About that...”
“Yeah?”
She let out a sigh and pulled her hands out of the water, then reached for a towel. “I know you’re enjoying building the room with Maddie. She’s loving it, too.”
“But...”
“Try to be realistic about the possibility of her moving up there with you. She was crushed when she thought she was going to stay and then couldn’t.”
“You know why she couldn’t.”
“Yes.” Slowly, she wiped suds from her forearms. “But rather than tempt her with possibilities, why don’t you make it clear that she won’t be able to live with you?”
“Because then she and I would be wasting our time building the room.”
“Maybe you are,” Cara said gently. She held up a hand. “I’m not telling you to stop, but I am saying that until you feel confident that she can safely live with you, don’t keep promising her ‘maybe next weekend.’”
Drew put a hand to his forehead and squeezed. “I
want her to live with me.”
“And we both want her to not be upset by things you can’t control.” Her expression softened, but she didn’t look one bit less resolved to do what she thought was best for his child. Cara couldn’t have children of her own; she’d raised Maddie for the past two years, so of course she felt she had a stake in Maddie’s future. But his stake was bigger.
“I won’t make promises.”
“I think you should tell her that you don’t see her moving in the foreseeable future.” Her tone grew gentler. “It would hurt, but it would be easier on her in the long run if she could simply enjoy what she has without wanting things she can’t have.”
“She’s always going to want those things.” It would kill him if she didn’t. “She’s my daughter.”
“But we were the ones there for her when her world fell apart.”
“I know.” His voice started to break and he had to stop. Start again. “You guys saved our lives. I know you want what’s best for Maddie.”
“We love her, Drew.”
“Me, too.” And he’d dare to say that he loved her in a different, deeper way than Cara and Pete. Had loved her to the depths of his soul from the moment the nurse had handed him the squirming pink bundle and she’d stilled when she met his gaze, her eyes wide as they stared into his, her mouth a tiny O. His daughter. His little girl. Whom he’d left to fight a war. It’d all been part of a bigger plan that hadn’t worked out—not even a little.
“I’ve already talked to Maddie about the schedule this week,” he said. “She has a lot of end-of-school-year stuff, so I’m going to see her on Tuesday and Thursday. I’m going to her awards thing on Friday, then I’ll pick her up on Saturday in the morning as usual.”
Cara went to the fridge and traced a finger over the magnetic calendar. “Yes. That seems about right.” She turned back to Drew, pressed her lips together. “I only want the best for both of you. You guys are our family.”
“I know.” For a moment, they faced off, worried aunt, worried father. “I’ll see you on Tuesday.”
He called for Maddie and she came running down the hall to say goodbye. “Tuesday for pizza,” she said.
“Yep.” He leaned in to kiss her cheek. “See you then.”
He ran into Pete on the way to his truck. His brother-in-law took one look at him and said, “Cara talked to you.”
“Yeah.”
Pete pushed back his ball cap. “She’s worried. Maddie is the closest thing she has to a kid.”
Drew almost said, “She is my kid,” but managed to keep the words inside. He owed Cara and Pete a debt he could never repay. “I know.”
“Here’s the thing. She ran into your sister at the community board dinner and Deb kind of did a number on her.”
Drew’s blood pressure started to spike. “What kind of number?”
“Pumped her for information about you. Asked if we thought a guy in your condition should be living alone on a mountain.” Pete folded his arms over his chest. “What’s she after?”
Pete knew Deb almost as well as Drew did, having been Drew’s best friend forever.
“I think she’s afraid people will talk about her wacko brother on the mountain and it’ll reflect on her.”
Pete bobbed his head. “Sounds about right.”
“You know that I’d never do anything that wasn’t in Maddie’s best interest, right?”
“Well, yeah.”
“Just checking. I’m starting to feel like I’m fighting a one-man war here.”
“We got your back. Cara’s just a little wigged out by Maddie hitting the teen years.”
“So am I.”
Five short years.
* * *
IT WAS DUSK by the time Drew pulled into the Lightning Creek Ranch. He could have dropped off the mower the following day, but Faith’s lights were on, and as out of character as it was, he didn’t feel like going home to his empty cabin. A short stop at Faith’s would delay the inevitable. Cara’s request had been an arrow to his heart.
Not have Maddie live with him? Ever?
Unacceptable. He was reading the books the therapist had recommended. Again. Trying his damnedest to address the root cause of his issues—although it was hard when the root cause was back-to-back tragedies.
He unloaded the mower and put it in the dark barn in the same place he’d gotten it from. From across the dark interior, he heard a low maaa from one of the goats, who’d been put away for the night.
“Sorry, bud. You’re being replaced by technology.”
“I don’t know if talking to goats is a good sign or bad.”
Drew about jumped out of his skin at the unexpected voice. “Whoa, shit. You scared me.” Faith’s Airedale trotted closer and poked his snout at Drew, who automatically ruffled the dog’s curly fur as he regained composure.
“That’s supposed to be my line,” Faith said as she stepped into the barn. “I thought you knew I was here. I left the house when you drove up.”
“I didn’t. I was...preoccupied.”
“Ah.” An awkward silence hung between them, broken only by the goats discussing life with one another. “You want to come in for a minute?”
The invitation surprised him. “Why?”
Faith gave a short laugh. “One thing I like about you is that you don’t play games.”
“Yeah. Never been good with them.”
“I wasn’t exactly a game player in my former life, but I did like to have fun.”
“And now?”
She let out a sigh. “It’s hard to forget a guy grabbing your hair hard and then slicing it off with a knife.”
Drew grimaced, thinking of what might have happened if the attack hadn’t been interrupted. “That’s heinous.”
“He swore at the trial that all he wanted was my hair.” She gave a stiff shrug. “It might have been true. I had hair to my waist at the time. It kind of fascinated some people.”
And that was effing creepy. No wonder she couldn’t handle people coming up behind her.
“Your hair is still long.”
“That’s a choice. On the one hand, do I want hair that can be used as a weapon against me? On the other, do I want his actions to dictate how I wear my hair? I chose the former.” Faith folded her hands over her chest. “You want to come in or not? I opened a bottle of wine a few minutes ago.”
“You’re inviting me in for wine.”
“Or you can get your ass on up the mountain. I don’t care which.”
It was his turn to laugh. “I...will come in. For a minute.”
She gave a nod, stepped away from the barn door.
Drew followed Faith to the house, thinking it was one of those Twilight Zone moments that later he would wonder how he’d gotten himself into. But right this second, Twilight Zone seemed better than going to his lonely cabin. It was always hard after Maddie left, but Cara’s talk today had given him a whole lot more to brood about.
The house was brand-new. He’d heard about how the main house had burned in the fire that had missed his cabin by a mere half mile, and now he could see that whoever had rebuilt it had been good.
Faith led the way through the sparsely furnished living room to the cozy farm kitchen, where, yes indeed, a bottle of wine sat open on the table, a fancy wine stopper lying beside it.
“Red? I was hoping for white.”
Faith smirked at him. “Forgive me for not believing that.”
She went to the cabinet and pulled out a second wineglass. A few seconds later, the wine was poured and she motioned for him to take his glass. Maybe she didn’t want to risk having their fingers brush if she handed it to him. She lifted her glass in a small toast.
“To survivors everywhere.”
He smiled as he lifted his glass. Drank. He was no connoisseur, but he lik
ed the wine. Sully flopped down on the floor at his feet and gave a gusty sigh before closing his eyes. Drew had a feeling that if he made one move toward Faith, the seemingly mellow dog would have him by the throat.
“You...uh...seem a little spunky tonight.”
Faith gave a small laugh, her pretty mouth tilting up at the corners, charming the hell out of him. “Spunky? I like that.” She took another drink, set her glass down on the table and waved Drew to the seat opposite where she stood. As he sat, so did she.
“I called my ex tonight.”
“The asshole?”
She gave her head a rueful shake. “He has my barrel racing saddle. Gave it to another woman. He is supposed to send it back, and he’s hedging.”
“And that pisses you off.”
“That’s an excellent summary of the situation.” She lifted her glass back to her lips and Drew found himself following the movement of her glass.
“Maddie saw you practicing. She wanted to stop and watch, but I told her to wait for an invitation.”
“I only run Tommy once a week. Otherwise he’d sour. But the next time I run him, Maddie can come by...except that you have to be careful she doesn’t get the bug.”
“What bug?”
“The barrel racing bug.”
“Do you have it?”
“I’ve had it since I was fourteen. Barrel racing consumed me...right up until the attack.” She set down her wineglass. “I was on my way to the National Finals, which was like my ultimate dream...and then...you know.” She picked the glass back up.
“Sorry to hear that.”
“Yeah. Yet another thing that jerk stole from me. Besides my sense of safety and well-being. My general trust in humanity. Now I automatically look twice at everyone.”
“I think you looked at me three or four times.”
“Six,” she said with a straight face.
Drew fought a smile. He liked this woman. “Are you still on track for National Finals?”
She gave her head a small shake. “Qualifying involves so much time and travel. A lot of money. I no longer have the resources—or the time. But I have my eye on a prize.”
“What’s that?”
“I want to win the Region next year.”