by Laura Brown
During one of my breaks, I caught up with Nell. “Do you have a few minutes?”
She didn’t pause as she collected ingredients from the storage area.
“Is something wrong?” Her movements may have been calm, but her voice held a note of tension.
“No. I tried a shortened version of your cookies last night and wanted to let you have a taste. I can always leave them in your office for you.”
Nell looked up. “You did that last night?”
I nodded.
“But Jake brought you home.”
Oh no. I wrung my hands together. “He did and I crashed for a few hours, which had me up late.”
Close enough to the truth.
Nell studied my face and I didn’t miss her lingering under my eyes. I wasn’t much of a makeup girl, not at work, at least, but I did put something on the permanent bags I’d developed in the past year. I suspected Nell saw through my light makeup act.
She nodded. “Leave them in my office and I’ll let you know.”
It felt like a dismissal, especially as she went back to collecting ingredients as if I wasn’t even there. I took deep breaths as I headed to her office, scolding myself for being too tired and getting caught by Jake, and for reading too much into my boss. She could be busy, and it could have nothing to do with me.
I hit the bathroom before heading back to my station, stopping at the edge of the kitchen when I noticed Jake by his mother. She had begun measuring flour and he was talking to her, the both of them laughing. My stomach clenched. If Jake made her laugh now, maybe it was me that created a problem earlier.
He looked up and found me standing there, his smile kicking up another notch. He said something to his mother before heading my way. I was too wrapped up in the look in his eyes—one that said he only saw me—to check on Nell’s reaction.
He stopped short of touching me, for which I was grateful. I needed to be professional back here and his touch had the tendency to melt me. “How are you doing? Get any more sleep?”
I cringed. “A little.”
“And Mom said you were baking last night.”
“Is that a problem?” I hoped my voice was low, but in a noisy environment like this I always ended up yelling.
“Nah, unless you aren’t taking care of yourself.” He ran a hand over my ponytail. “Are you taking care of yourself, Avery?”
I nodded, because it took everything in me not to fall to the floor in a puddle of goo. “I need to get back to work.”
He pulled out his phone. “Of course, right after you give me your phone number. It seems backward that I know where you live, but I can’t call you.”
A small laugh worked its way out of me, and I rattled off the ten digits as I moved back to my station. I settled back into my work, waiting for a text message from a new number to come in. None did. I paid it no mind. Jake had left. Perhaps he was busy with his own schedule and didn’t have time to send one.
As I performed my final cleanup of the day, Nell stopped by.
“Avery, come see me when you’re done.” And then she walked off.
I paused, mid swipe of my rag, as a lead weight settled into my stomach. I tried to convince myself everything was fine and it had nothing to do with Jake, but I couldn’t shake the fears.
Nell was in her office, clicking on her computer, some spreadsheet up on the monitor. I closed the door behind me and took a seat to her side. She minimized the program and leaned back, rubbing her temples. “I’m sorry if I seem off. I’ve got a massive headache today.”
“You were fine when Jake was here.” What the hell, mouth, shut up!
A sadness crossed Nell’s face. “I put on an act for him. Don’t tell.”
“Why?”
“I’m sure you know about the fire. Jake feels that’s when my headaches started. And even though he was the one hurt the most, he’s taken on all responsibility for the event. As if he and he alone can make up for his father’s mistake. So Hannah and I shelter him whenever possible.”
I nodded. “I won’t tell.”
“Good. Now, these cookies. I can’t tell the difference between yours and mine. I’m impressed.”
I sat straighter. “Thank you. I wrote down the modifications I made if you’re interested.”
“I am. It’ll save prep and cook time, a precious commodity here. What other tricks do you have up your sleeves?”
I mentioned a few of my ideas, and we discussed logistics of what would be best for my skills and time. I left there feeling as though I walked on clouds. Things were falling into place. If Nell trusted me with new responsibilities, perhaps I could learn more of her recipes, including the rugelach.
The back door required a good push, and soon the fresh air greeted me. I turned when my purse threatened to get caught, and when I resumed my forward trajectory I crashed into a hard body. Again.
I looked up at Jake. “We’ve got to stop meeting like this.”
Only he had swapped expressions with his mother.
“Is something wrong?”
He took a step back and ran a hand through his hair. Unlike every other time he’d done that, the ends now stuck up in odd angles rather than fell in perfect waves. “I entered your number into my phone.”
“Okay?”
He met my eyes. “I already have your number.”
“How?” Did Hannah swipe it from my file and enter it?
A nervous laugh worked out of him and his cheeks turned pink.
“Why don’t I show you?” His hands flew over his phone, eyes boring into mine. He checked once then was back on me when my phone buzzed.
Dick Guy: This is Jake.
My hands trembled as I stared at the words. At first, they didn’t make sense. How would they make sense? I took a step back. “No.”
“I spent ten minutes trying to tell my phone the same thing. Then I thought about it. You both were in a new area and a new job. You both don’t sleep…”
“Oh no.” I covered my mouth with my hand, my eyes trailing down Jake’s body before I closed them. This was bad, very bad. I knew, and had seen, things about him I shouldn’t. And vice versa.
On that thought, I held my jacket closer across my bust.
“What are the odds?” Jake asked.
“About a trillion to one. Last night, we…”
“Were having two separate conversations at once. You didn’t take my advice.”
My cheeks were on fire and I pointed a shaking finger at him. “That’s why this is bad. So bad. I can’t even…”
I covered my face and turned away, far too embarrassed.
“We need to go somewhere and talk about this.”
“No. We need to erase all physical or mental implications here.”
“I like both sides of you, Avery.”
I forced myself to look at him as a funny warmth spread around my chest. “That other version of me isn’t real.”
His lips curved. “I like a good challenge.”
He stepped forward until I had to put a hand out to stop him.
“I’m not joking.”
Something crossed his face, and he stepped back. “That’s right. You’re temporary.”
I closed my eyes and fought against the urge to vomit. Fortunately I hadn’t explained the rest to Dick Guy, otherwise Jake would know I was after his mother’s recipe. But even without that, he knew too much. “Okay, we need to go somewhere to talk about this.”
The last thing I needed was someone inside hearing this.
“You never intended to—”
I covered his mouth with my own, ignoring how good it felt to be this close to him. No one inside could know my plans to leave. I was already treading on thin ice with Jake’s knowledge. “Meet me at my place and we’ll figure this out.”
I walked off without waiting for his response. He had my number now. And I had his. One way or another, we’d have this talk.
My hands continued to shake on the drive home. Dick Guy was Ja
ke. Jake was Dick Guy. The night before I started a new job, the boss’s son sent me a picture of his dick. One of those unbelievable situations. No one would believe me if I told them.
I had opened up to him since he wasn’t quite real, a random person on the other end of the phone. Someone who should have been halfway around the country rather than around the corner. We’d continued texting after we met in real life. We’d…
I shook my head away from that train of thoughts. Whatever we did, we both did. We were on exactly the same page.
By the time I parked, I wasn’t feeling any calmer. I placed my head on the steering wheel until a knock on my windshield startled me. I angled my head and with one eye took in Jake. He said something, but damned if I could make it out. Which meant I either had to ignore him or open my door.
I opened the door.
“You okay?” Jake asked.
“No. I’ve sent inappropriate pictures to my boss’s son.”
His lips quirked. “I think the mutually agreed upon kiss surpasses anything in those text messages.”
I raised both eyebrows. He had the decency to drop his head and laugh.
“Okay, maybe not. But—” He squatted in front of me. “I like you, Avery. The only problem we have is what we’re going to do about this.”
I finally managed to take my keys out of the ignition. I grabbed my purse and exited my car. Jake closed in on me, placing a hand on my cheek. But my brain was still scrambling to connect him and Dick Guy and how to handle the fact that my picturing Jake while talking to Dick Guy was me getting it right.
I pulled back and headed to my building, letting him follow. We didn’t say a word up the steps and into my apartment. Not until I’d put down my purse and keys and hung up my jacket. Jake stood by the door, still wearing his.
“Might as well take off your coat. We might be here a while.”
A hint of heat shined in his eyes.
“I didn’t mean like that.”
He took off his coat, laughing, the smug bastard. “You do realize half of what we say to each other has taken on a double meaning.”
I groaned and plopped down on my coach, burying my head into a pillow.
The cushions shifted nearby. “And while we’re on the subject, I owe you about three orgasms.”
I pulled my head up and pointed a finger at him, but he didn’t let me speak. He grabbed the finger, pulled me to him, and devastated me with a heat-filled kiss. I had meant to push him away, but with those lips, soft and firm, and his tongue teasing my bottom lip, I couldn’t resist. I somehow wound up in his lap, my hands in his hair, kissing him back with everything I had.
This kiss was different. Our past two were more about exploration. Now we had texts filled with intimate details, along with the knowledge that we could finally kiss and touch the person that fueled fantasies.
Jake’s hands slid up and down my back. I had two choices: I could finally see if Dick Guy really did live up to his promises, or I could rein us in and continue at our previous pace.
Apparently, I wasn’t the only one thinking this way, as Jake stopped the kiss. “You’re really going to leave? To go back home?”
I slid off his lap. “That’s under the heading of things you shouldn’t know.”
“So we were going to start a relationship and you weren’t going to tell me?”
My feet twitched and I stood to pace. “One, I wouldn’t intentionally tell you something that I wouldn’t want my boss to know. Two, I have no concrete plans. Three, that implies that in a year or two we’d still be together. I think all are jumping the gun a bit; don’t you?”
I stopped pacing and faced him with my hands on my hips.
He raised his hands. “Fine. Fine. Good point.”
“And if you’re so worried about that, then why the hell did you just kiss me like that?”
“Because you get to me. Both sides. All of you. I want nothing more than to carry you into the bedroom and finally lick the spot where I once placed a bow.”
My body tightened at his words, begging me to let him.
Jake shifted and stretched out one leg. “I kinda liked you not knowing about this.”
“Now you know why I didn’t want you to call.”
Our eyes locked, the puzzle pieces of who we each were slowly sinking into place.
Jake stood. “I should probably go.”
I resumed pacing. “What are we doing here?”
He caught me on a turn, our bodies pressed together as if we knew each other more intimately than we actually did. He kissed me again, hot and fast. “I have no idea.”
He let me go and left before I could move or figure out something to say.
Body tingling, mind churning, I struggled to make sense of the past hour. On instinct, I reached for my phone, poised to text Dick Guy, only to see the reminder that he’s Jake.
I put my phone away and turned to the five remaining boxes I had. By morning, I would be completely unpacked. For better or worse.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Jake
I picked at my chicken as Mom and Hannah chatted. We’d gotten together that morning to go to temple for Rosh Hashanah service. Then Hannah and I did what we always did: kept Mom from checking on the bakery too often.
Instead of a big family and friends event like Passover, we kept the High Holy Days simple, just the three of us. I had vague memories of it being bigger when I was a kid. Another thing the fire destroyed.
My phone remained silent in my pocket, as it had for the past three days. I hadn’t texted Avery, and she hadn’t texted me. We both needed time to sort through the bombshell. Though bombshell had to be an overstatement. So we hadn’t realized we’d been texting, and sexting, each other. In many ways, it made it more fun, a hidden sexual layer to our relationship.
I missed her. Ironic that was what kept me from reaching out. Her temporary comment ping-ponged around in my head. The reality taking too long to sink in. She was right. Our relationship was brand new. Why should I focus on temporary?
Mom’s hand settled on top of mine. “We lost you there.”
I brought another bite to my mouth, barely tasting the seasoned chicken. “Sorry.”
Hannah shook her head. “Anyway, Patrick officially has a warning.”
A hot flash of rage wiped out all thoughts of Avery. “That asshole. What happened now?”
Hannah stabbed a carrot with her fork. “I caught him crowding in Samantha. Besides the inappropriate behavior, they were both busy and he wasted their time being an ass.”
Fucking asshole. He needed to meet my fist.
Mom let out a long sigh. “We have to let him go.”
Hannah wagged her fork, still with carrot impaled on the end, at Mom. “No. I can handle him. And he has a warning. I want to see if he’s willing to play nice first. If not, you have my blessing to kick him and his delicious food to the curb.”
Hannah bit the carrot at the end, hard enough it would have easily broken even if it hadn’t been cooked.
“I don’t like this,” I said. “I already warned that asshole off you. Maybe I need to make it clear that goes for all employees.”
“Including Avery?” Hannah coyly popped the rest of the carrot in her mouth, her anger having been replaced by a teasing tone.
Mine hadn’t. “Especially Avery.”
“Things going well with her?” Mom asked.
The question was loaded. Partly due to everything that had happened between Avery and me. Partly due to Mom’s nature and my own failed romantic past. “It’s new.”
“That sounds ominous,” Hannah muttered.
“I know.” Mom cut a piece of chicken, a fake nonchalance attempt. “Usually, we get a whole story, or at least a small story. Interesting.”
“I blame the b—” At my glare she changed tactics. “She who should not be named.”
I rolled my eyes and reached for my phone when it buzzed, grateful for a distraction. I found a text.
&nbs
p; Avery: Shana tovah.
First text in days and she’s wishing me a happy new year.
Me: Shana tovah. Having a good time with your family?
Avery: Sorta. It’s nice to see everyone, but it’s like Mom invited every Jew and non-Jew we know. So many people talking at once and I can’t hear a thing. And that’s with my hearing aid fixed.
Me: You got it back?
Avery: Yup, cupcake sticker still intact. So be prepared for me to miss almost exactly the same amount as before.
She sent a winking emoji.
Me: Looking forward to it.
Mom cleared her throat and I looked up. “Just Avery wishing me a happy new year.”
Mom’s eyes creased as she studied me. “That doesn’t sound new.”
I put my phone facedown. “It’s not normal to wish someone a happy new year?”
Hannah snorted. “It’s not normal to wear that silly assed grin you did while doing so.”
I blanked my face and took another bite of food.
Mom patted my hand from across the table. “There’s nothing wrong with liking this girl. I think she’s good for you.”
I opened my mouth but blocked the words before I spoke them. I wasn’t supposed to know about Avery’s plans. And I sure as hell wasn’t going to share them with Mom. But that meant I couldn’t get attached. A whole unexpected can of worms had been opened. All I’d ever wanted was for the bakery to be secure. Adding Avery to the mix made me feel like I could be free—if I wanted, I could leave.
Only she planned to leave, so the bakery wasn’t secure. And if she did leave, like Diana, that left me here, unable to follow.
It occurred to me I didn’t know her why. All I knew was that she wanted to learn all she could and then leave. That could mean so many different things, most jobs presented a learning opportunity, Mom’s bakery no different.
My phone vibrated with another text. Can of worms be damned. This felt right. A family moment with Avery involved. I wondered if she’d prefer to be with us, in a quiet environment, instead of with the large gathering her mom created. Maybe, if I played my cards right, next year she could be here.
Avery said she didn’t have any definite plans. Which made it my goal to convince her to stay. The bakery needed her. I feared I did too.