“We have to leave. Tonight. I know too many people. Unlike you, I can’t move in the shadows.”
“I don’t think I can walk.”
“You’ll ride. I’ll lead.”
Aysha led Cobalt while Darin dozed in the saddle. Cobalt was uneasy at first, seeing shadows everywhere and balking at each new sound, but Aysha had no trouble with the path. After they had passed the edge of Glen Ore she changed their route and went west via the main road. They’d drop south before they reached Miller’s Lake. She was familiar with the roads as far as the sand dunes. Beyond this she only had her mother’s stories.
Tales abounded of travelers losing their way in the dunes. Without water, it was said, men went mad after only a day. But past the dunes lay the river valley her mother had told her of, and past this was Tiersten and the Heffen Castle.
Her mother had often recounted the trip her family had taken from Tiersten to the Glenlands. Aysha hoped that the details were accurate—and that she could remember all of them. She hoped too that the place was as perfect as her mother had made it sound. She’d described Heffen as a castle nestled between mountains with Tiersten at its feet. It seemed a mystical place to her childhood imagination.
Aysha kept a brisk pace. The movement eased her worries about the travel ahead, and her thoughts drifted back to Shawn and Ranik. She started fitting the pieces together. The curves she had mistaken as a return of good health were due to Ranik’s child. And nearly every morning since Shawn had moved into their cottage she’d been out of bed making breakfast by the time Aysha woke. Had she gone to Ranik’s room every night after Aysha had fallen asleep? She slipped in an icy spot and clutched at Cobalt’s reins, wakening Darin with a start.
“What is it? Who’s there?”
“The road’s icy here—that’s all.”
“You should ride for a bit. I’ll walk.”
“I’m the one who knows where we’re going,” Aysha said. “I’ll take us back to the forest path for a bit. Rest.”
Darin fell silent again. The forest path had less moonlight to guide them so Aysha had to focus on every step. Wagon wheels clanked along the adjacent main road and she held on to Cobalt’s reins to wait for the travelers there to pass. When the wagon had gone, Aysha continued on, more slowly. Every step was one more away from Glen Ore, and a weight lifted from her shoulders the farther she walked.
Chapter Fourteen
Darin woke when the horse stopped. She rubbed her eyes, surprised that she could have fallen asleep while riding, and realized the midday sun was above them. “Where are we?”
“Past the Glenlands.” Aysha must have noticed Darin’s uneasiness with this answer because she added, “There’s a stream here. We’ll all need a drink before we start across the dunes.”
Darin threw a leg over the saddle and pushed off the horse. She stumbled on the landing. Her legs swayed under her, and Aysha was quickly at her side, gripping her arm.
“I should have stopped sooner,” Aysha said.
“No, it’s fine. I’m only stiff from yesterday…”
Darin took a step away from the horse and felt her legs begin to melt again. Aysha kept hold of her arm until she sat down on a flat rock near the stream’s edge.
“We’ll camp here until sunset. Long enough to rest Cobalt and eat…” Aysha went over to the horse and started pulling off his tack. She opened the saddlebag and took out an apple. “Are you hungry?”
“I can’t think of food,” Darin said. “I can smell my socks from here.”
Aysha smiled. “When was the last time you bathed?”
“Don’t ask.”
Darin pulled off her boots and then the wool socks. She quickly dipped her toes in the icy water and dirt swirled as she rubbed her feet. To hide her own stench, she’d covered her body in dirt whenever she couldn’t rinse. Filth had been a constant companion since she’d crossed the Barrier. Gone were the days of bathing with lavender-scented soap.
She wanted to strip off all of her clothes, but Aysha was watching. Even if Aysha had seen her naked before, she felt nervous with her gaze on her now. The cold water made her feet numb, and she splashed about for only a minute before hopping out.
Aysha tossed her a rough wool blanket. “I think you need a proper bath.”
“With soap,” Darin agreed. “Do you have another apple?”
Aysha handed her the one she’d been eating. “I should have packed more food.”
“I can hunt,” Darin offered. “Or I can make a spear and try for some fish…”
“We won’t be here long.” Aysha pointed to a sandy hill that rose up on the far edge of the meadow. “That’s the start of the dunes.”
Darin took a deep breath, noting the scents of predators as well as prey. Fox, bobcat, owl, rabbits, and mice…
“We should rest. Tonight we’ll have a long walk ahead of us.”
Aysha unrolled her bed mat and lay down. Within minutes, she was asleep. Darin had thought that it was impossible that they would be together again, and now that they were, she could hardly wait any longer to touch her. But Aysha had no mask to cover her feelings, and it was clear that she wasn’t ready for the closeness Darin wanted. Darin watched her even breathing, jealous of how easily she’d drifted off. No worries creased her face—she was just as beautiful while she slept as she was awake.
Darin hesitated lying down. Nightmares had become a constant battle and some nights she hated to close her eyes. But now, for the first time in what seemed a lifetime, she wasn’t following a scent or worrying about who tracked hers. Maybe that was why she had slept so easily as Cobalt carried her. She wasn’t free from Alekander—she’d never be—but he’d crossed the Barrier. She guessed he would head home. Thea would be waiting for him. Darin wondered what questions she would ask him, if any. She missed Thea, but she’d trade never seeing her again if it meant she’d never see Alekander as well.
Darin awoke to the feeling of the horse nuzzling her hair. Aysha was already awake and packing up her mat. “Your hair does smell like hay.”
“I’ve had nothing but hay pillows for weeks now.” Darin pushed the horse away as he threatened to nibble her. “Go on back to your weeds.” She added, “I worried that he would wander off, but he always kept one ear pointed in your direction…you could never trust a horse from the North to graze untethered.”
“He knows where his grain comes from,” Aysha said.
Darin leaned on one elbow, watching Aysha. She wanted to catch her hand and pull her close. One kiss would be enough for the moment—enough to confirm that Aysha still desired her. But she didn’t reach for her. Aysha’s scent was mixed, a jumble of emotions.
Aysha noticed her staring and met her gaze. “What is it?”
Was Aysha coming with her because she needed an excuse to leave or because she wanted to be with her? Instead of asking, Darin said, “You’ll have to ride tonight. I’m too stiff.”
“We’ll make Cobalt carry the packs and we can both walk. Without water, he’ll need his strength as much as we will.”
“Can you find your way in the dark?”
“As soon as the sun sets, we’ll follow the stars. We have to head due south. Drink as much as you can now and keep the pattern of the stars in your head so you can help me if I get turned around.”
“I can’t trust my eyes. But I’ll find us water if we need it.”
“We can’t go looking for it,” Aysha said. “That’s how everyone gets lost in the dunes. We have to go south no matter what.” She pulled Cobalt to the stream and splashed water to encourage him to drink, then bent to fill the flasks she’d brought.
* * *
The dunes stretched interminably—one mountain of sand after another and as far as the horizon in every direction. The sand pulled at their feet, slowing every step. They stopped to rest several times before dawn and Aysha had to tug at Cobalt’s reins to convince him not to turn back. Before midday, Aysha sank down in the sand.
“Once the sun
is overhead, I’ll lose my direction. We’ll stop here.”
Weak from the relentless sun, Darin didn’t argue. She shaded her eyes with her hand and then lay down in Cobalt’s shadow. The dream started instantly. Alekander was chasing her, as usual, but he had a herd of mice with him. Darin felt her feet move as she stomped on the mice, their sharp teeth nipping at her legs. She fell and they quickly swarmed over her body. Alekander stood above her, the blade of his sword at her throat, and shouted for the mice to devour her. Unable to writhe free, she gripped her knife and stabbed wildly up at Alekander’s legs.
Darin woke to Aysha’s ear-piercing scream. Her eyes were wide with fear. Darin glanced from her face to the knife. Its tip was balanced at the center of Aysha’s chest. She flung the blade aside and sat up, pushing Aysha’s hands away as she peeled up her tunic. She had to make certain she hadn’t pierced the skin. Aysha struggled to get away, screaming as she scooted back from Darin.
“Get away from me,” she screamed again.
“I’m sorry,” Darin said, her voice shaking as much as the rest of her. “Did I hurt you?”
“You tried to stab me! What’s wrong with you?”
“No—I was going after Alekander. It wasn’t you at all,” Darin stammered. She tried to reach for Aysha’s hand but was pushed away again. She couldn’t stop shaking.
Aysha got to her feet, looking as if she would run. “Don’t come near me.”
“I wasn’t trying to hurt you.” But she’d been ready to kill Aysha, mistaking her for Alekander. The dreams had crossed over.
Aysha’s hands were at her sides, fists clenched. The smell of her fear was overpowering—she recognized it as if from a distant memory. She’d hunted animals and people alike. The scent was always the same when she had her knife raised.
“I swear I didn’t mean to,” Darin started. She choked back a sob when she tried to go on, then fell back on the sand. The line between her dreams and her waking hours had been slowly eroding with every moment she spent tracking Alekander. There had been days when she hadn’t slept at all and others when she had slept but had dreamed enough to fill a week of days. All of her thoughts had focused on killing him or submitting to his sword and finding her end in the fight. How could she explain any of this to Aysha? Darin forced her gaze up to her. The woman who looked back at her seemed a cold stranger. In that moment, she hated Aysha’s fear of her, hated that she had scrambled away from her as if she were sick or, worse, mad. “I’m sorry,” she said again.
“I’ve said goodbye to everything I know. And I’m in the dunes with someone I hardly know—someone who’s thought of nothing but killing. A fugitive wanted for murder…What was I thinking?”
Darin’s mouth was dry and the words were hard to form. “I can explain…” But could she? She stopped and stared at Aysha, silently begging her not to force her to try.
“And here I’ve been thinking that I could start a life with you. Who are you anyway? And what are you hiding about your past? What haven’t you told me? What will haunt us?”
Darin dropped her gaze. She stared at the tousled blankets and then pressed her hand to her forehead. Before she’d had a chance to explain, Aysha had already decided against her. And why not? In fact, she had been about to kill her. There was nothing she could do to stop the nightmares—nothing she could promise.
“Do you remember this?” Aysha pointed to a faint line on her neck, the scar from Darin’s knife so many months ago.
“I’ll never forget.”
“You’re someone else when your knife is in your hands. Who are you?”
Darin shook her head. She was certain Aysha wouldn’t like the truth any better than a lie. She was more herself with a knife in her hands. Then she was a hunter.
“You have no idea what my days and nights have been these past few months—this past year. I had the knife in my hands only because of the dream. It’s always the same thing, again and again. I’m in the midst of a fight with Alekander, he’s chasing me…I spin around and he has the point of his sword on me, but it never pierces my skin. Then I wake and he haunts me for the rest of the day. I don’t blame you for not trusting me, but I wasn’t trying to hurt you. It was only the dream.”
“But your knife is real.”
“I’ll give you both of my knives. Whenever we sleep, you’ll have them.”
“I don’t want your knives.”
Darin closed her eyes. She heard the rustle of sand and knew that Aysha had walked away. What else could she say? The nightmares turned her mad.
“I’m going,” Aysha said.
Darin looked up and realized that Aysha had packed up their things, everything but the bedding on which she sat. Slowly, Darin got to her feet and fell in line behind Cobalt, carrying the mats. Aysha didn’t look back to see that she was following, didn’t speak further. Aysha stopped to give Cobalt some water and a bit of grain at one point but gave no indication that she wanted to find a place to rest.
The moon was well overhead when Darin caught the scent of water. She hadn’t drunk anything since their last stop and her lips were cracked and bleeding. Aysha had the flasks, but she was certain the water they had contained was gone by now.
“We’re close to water,” Darin ventured. “Can I point us that direction? I’m thirsty.”
Aysha paused and glanced back at her. “Which way?”
Darin sniffed the air again and pointed where she thought the scent was strongest. “We’re not far from it.”
Aysha glanced that direction and shook her head. She handed Darin a flask with little more than a sip of water swirling at the bottom. “We’ve got to stay on course, due south. We’ll lose the path if we search for water. The only ones who have gotten out of the dunes alive have always followed a straight line. We’ll keep south—no matter how you long for water.”
No matter if they died of thirst? Darin sipped the last of the water and slipped the empty flask into a pocket of her jacket. Her sense of direction was only guided by scent, but Aysha was assuredly checking the stars above and holding a moistened finger out to match the breeze when clouds obscured the light overhead. Too thirsty and tired to talk, Darin shuffled behind her.
The further they walked, the more Darin longed to turn back. She considered leaving Aysha to find water on her own. They had had little to bind them together before this and she was sick at the thought of nearly stabbing her. Aysha would be better off without her. There was no way for her to control her dreams.
Chapter Fifteen
By late morning, they were both too weak to continue. Cobalt was edgy and Aysha kept him tied to her wrist on a long rope while they set up camp. Darin quickly fell asleep, leaving her knives in the saddlebags without Aysha asking. They awoke several hours later and didn’t speak. Darin’s throat burned from thirst, but she took the meager ration of dried fruit and nuts that Aysha handed her and swallowed spit to wash the meal down. Once they’d started walking again, Cobalt hung his head low and dragged behind them. He’d refused his dry grain, and any time Darin got close to him, he tried to lick her hands or arms, searching for the salt on her skin.
The sky darkened and still they walked. Aysha didn’t mention stopping, keeping her gaze on the stars and her thoughts to herself. Darin fell in alongside Cobalt. The dry air held few scents and she had to trust that Aysha wasn’t leading them in circles.
Dawn came and Darin caught a faint scent of water. She stopped walking long enough to be certain of the scent. “There’s water close.”
Aysha didn’t seem to hear her.
She sniffed the air again and the scent was stronger. Aysha was leading them toward the water. Cobalt pulled on his reins as if he could smell the water too. At the last dune’s peak, a green valley stretched out before them. Blue mountains lined the distant horizon and a snaking silver river cut through the center of the valley.
Aysha stared at the river. “How does that smell?”
Darin heard the bite in Aysha’s words. She had a
right to be upset. Darin had doubted her. “Beets.”
“Beets?”
Darin smiled. “Sometimes I don’t have enough words for all the scents I know. But when I want water, I search for beets.”
“I’ll stick with following the stars and the sun.” Aysha pointed to the blue mountains. “Tiersten is by those mountains. On the other side of the river.”
“I’m sorry I doubted you.”
Aysha didn’t look over at Darin. “Cobalt’s thirsty.”
Cobalt tugged on his reins as they made their way down the dune, but Aysha kept him to a slow pace where the footing was poor. He broke into a run whenever she let up her guard. Darin felt the same urge to charge straight to the water.
When they reached the river, Aysha dropped to her knees on the bank and cupped the water up to her lips. Darin followed suit, the coolness trickling down her parched throat. Cobalt stood between them, sucking the water noisily.
Before he’d had his fill, Darin pulled Cobalt away from the river. She’d seen horses die from drinking too much at once. Fortunately he was hungry as well as thirsty and was soon distracted by the tender green shoots of grass along the riverbank.
Aysha pulled off her tunic and tossed it on the sandy riverbank, then continued to take off the rest of her clothes until she was dipping in the water naked. Darin caught herself staring. When Aysha noticed, she splashed water in her direction.
“It’s not the first time you’ve seen me naked.”
“No. And I remember the last time well.” Darin felt her cheeks burn.
Aysha made no move to cover herself. “I remember the last time too. For months after you’d gone, I thought of what we did that night…The water feels good. What are you waiting for?”
“If someone were to come up…”
“There’s no one here.” Aysha dropped to her waist and then plunged up to her neck in the icy water. She stood up quickly, shivering, and scrambled up the sandy bank, not bothering to cover herself. Light brown skin stretched across a well-muscled back, over round butt cheeks and down her smooth legs. She went over to their saddlebags and fished around for a rag and began to dry her face, ignoring the drips that slipped off her arms and legs or ran down her torso. When she met her eyes, Darin could hardly swallow.
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