A Fugitive's Kiss

by Jaime Clevenger

  “I’m sorry about what I said in the dunes.” She held out Darin’s knives, which had been stowed in the saddlebag. “I trust you…but your dreams…”

  “I wish I could stop them.” Darin wanted to say more, wanted to promise that she’d never hurt her. She wanted to admit that she longed for Aysha—more now than ever—and that she could hardly think when she was close. She second-guessed every one of Aysha’s scents. Fear still marked her. And anger was there too. Darin couldn’t touch her yet, couldn’t kiss her, and the constant want was making her feel crazed.

  When she didn’t reach for the knives, Aysha finally tossed them back in the bag. She pulled out their empty canteens and then went back to the water to fill them. Darin watched her at the river, still naked. She glanced over her shoulder and met Darin’s gaze. “What’s wrong?”

  “I’ve got a headache.” Darin rubbed her temple. It wasn’t a lie. A headache had been pressing behind her eye for hours and the sunlight on the river now made the pain worse.

  “Close your eyes for a bit. I’ll make you something.”

  Darin sank down in the grass and squeezed her head between her knees, trying to press away the ache. She only looked up when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

  Aysha held out a cup. “Drink this.”

  The tea was so bitter Darin nearly spit it out. “What is this?”

  “Terrible, isn’t it? It tastes better warm, but not much.”

  “I heard a witch say that once about something she gave a man to quicken his blood. He died after he finished the draught.” Darin glanced up at Aysha and saw a hint of a smile.

  “If I wanted you dead, I would have left you in the dunes.”

  “That’s not much comfort.”

  Aysha grinned. “Drink up or the pain will only get worse.”

  “Now you sound exactly like that old witch.”

  “Are you worried?” Aysha laughed. “I promise I haven’t put a spell on that tea.”

  Darin continued, “That first night I watched you dress a wound on your horse’s leg. It was a wide gash above his fetlock…You were talking to him the entire time and he seemed so relaxed. I wondered then if you were a witch.”

  “And yet you stayed to steal my horse?”

  Darin felt her cheeks flush. She stammered, “Well, I was…”

  “I would have thought better of it if I guessed I might be stealing a witch’s horse.”

  “I didn’t really think you were a witch until that next morning. The wound was nearly healed.”

  “Well, I’m no witch. It was only herbs crushed into a salve that I use on wounds. In fact, I brought some of it along…”

  “In the North, our witches are our best healers. Their powers go beyond any strong sense. And I saw that wound…the skin healed faster than it should have with only herbs rubbed into it. In the North, someone with your skill would be well regarded as a witch.”

  “You think that only because you don’t understand how the herbs work. My grandmother was a great healer and grew all sorts of things. They say she could heal any illness. I wish I could have learned all of her recipes. My mother was mostly interested in sleeping teas…” Aysha paused. “I used all of the recipes I knew, but I couldn’t save my parents when they were ill with the Red Fever. I only figured out what worked after they’d passed. If I’d had any magic powers, I would have used them then.”

  Darin took another bitter swallow of tea and then handed the cup back to Aysha, who finished the last sip herself. It wasn’t long before the pain in Darin’s head eased. She crawled over to the bed mat that Aysha had laid out, suddenly too weak to stand.

  “You gave me your mother’s sleeping draught, didn’t you?”

  Aysha didn’t answer. The afternoon sun warmed Darin’s cheek and she was suddenly too tired to keep her eyes open. She felt Aysha’s hand brush her forehead and then rest on her shoulder. The comforting scent of the wool blanket mingled with the sweet mud of the riverbank and the newly sprouted grass. If she never smelled another sand dune…

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Where is Ranik off to today in such a hurry?”

  Ranik spun around when he heard the familiar voice. He picked out Jenner instantly in the throng of people making their way through the bustling center of the market. He appeared as foreign as ever in the midst of this scene, unable to blend in, even with the market filled with strangers, animals for sale, and traders with their brightly colored wagons. His hair, longer than Ranik remembered and tied back, glowed gold, and his face was cleanly shaven. He wore the cloak Ranik had last seen him in, but everything else about him seemed altered. Or perhaps, Ranik realized in the moment that Jenner embraced him, it was he who had been changed.

  “Don’t look so scared,” Jenner said, nearly shouting to be heard over the din of voices in the market. “I promise I won’t bite. I’ve only come for the Spring Festival. And you, of course.”

  Ranik pointed to one of the roads leading out of the market and headed in that direction. His mind spun as he wondered where he could take Jenner without Shawn knowing of their meeting. She was busy with the music preparations for the Spring Festival and it was unlikely she would be home. Then again, he wondered if she would mind at all if he brought home an old lover. Still, once they reached the pasture, he led Jenner to the barn instead of the house.

  “The barn, farm boy?” Jenner drew him close as the barn door closed. “I prefer a bed to the itchy hay but—”

  Ranik stopped his words with a kiss. His lips felt nothing like Shawn’s. And exactly like what he wanted. But even as their kiss deepened, Ranik knew he’d made a mistake. He stepped back, wishing it could be different, wishing he could let Jenner do to him what he’d been longing for.

  “What’s wrong?” Jenner asked.

  “I missed you. It’s been too long.” A flood of words was dammed up inside him. He had so much that he wanted desperately to say, questions he needed to ask and things he needed off his chest. “I missed you,” he repeated. “This isn’t Winter Solstice.”

  “You’re right. I’m a whole season off. But I prefer springtime. Can we say this was the plan all along?” Jenner tried another kiss, but Ranik pushed him back.

  “No. We can’t. How can I not ask where you were? And why didn’t you want to see me then but show up now? But you don’t want me to ask any questions. And you never give any answers.”

  “Too late, is it? I was afraid of that…And you’re right. I can’t explain myself. But what of you? You’ve gone and got a girl pregnant. You have no idea how you surprise me, Ranik.”

  “You missed Solstice. And there was never any message.” Ranik realized that any omission on his part was but a partial omission with Jenner. Somehow, he already knew everything, even his closest secrets. He hated him more then for forgetting about their plan. All winter he’d waited…

  Ranik heard Shawn’s voice in the courtyard and pushed away from Jenner’s hand. He shoved open the door and strode out, nearly running into Shawn.

  “What is it?”

  She raised an eyebrow. “I wanted to know if you were hungry for lunch. I made soup…What’s the matter with you?”

  “Nothing. There’s just a lot to do before the festival tonight.” He resisted the urge to glance back at the barn and hoped Jenner would stay hidden. “Thanks for lunch, but I’m not hungry yet. I’ll come in later. Helm has me running in five different directions with his errands and we’ve got our own work here.”

  “I know you’ve got a lot to do without Aysha…If I wasn’t sick all the time with this baby…”

  “It’s fine.” He forced a smile.

  Shawn eyed him for a moment and then headed to the outhouse. Ranik exhaled. He started back to the barn and then stopped, his heart heavy. Without doubt, he loved Jenner. He loved him so much that it drove him nearly mad. But he couldn’t count on him. In many ways, he could count on Shawn, and even trust her, more than he did Jenner. They had even discussed their need for separate rel
ationships in the future, though they had promised to discuss anything that developed before an act was completed. And now that Jenner was here—in their barn—he couldn’t bring himself to say anything. But Jenner was leaving anyway.

  Shawn came out of the outhouse. She squinted at him. “I thought you were in a hurry to finish Helm’s errands, but now you’re standing around watching the hens?”

  “What are you talking about?” He noticed the hens then, pecking for split grain in front of the barn.

  Shawn smiled. “Sometimes I wonder about you, Ranik.” She stepped close and pressed her palm against his forehead. “No, you haven’t caught the Red Fever. But you are certainly strange today…Maybe you need a rest. The dance is tonight, you know. They have the barrels of apple ale out already. The smell of it makes me a bit sick and I blame this,” she said, tapping her belly. “But there’s no reason you shouldn’t drink up. You’ll come, won’t you? I’d rather go with you than alone.”

  “Maybe…I’ve got chores to finish before then.”

  “I want to lie down for a bit anyway. Wake me before dinner?”

  Ranik watched Shawn until she’d disappeared inside the house. Without a second thought, he turned back to the barn. He had to tell Jenner to leave.

  Jenner was perched on Prince’s stall railings. He took a long look at Ranik and then hopped down. “You look as if you’re about to cry, farm boy.”

  “Don’t push me—I might.” When Jenner reached for him, Ranik stepped back. “You have to go. And I have to stay.” He exhaled. “I hate this farm.”

  “I could stay here for a bit…help with the spring planting.”

  “You’d be miserable here.” Ranik wanted desperately to agree, but it would only cause problems with Shawn. And Jenner wasn’t meant for farm work. Neither was he—but he’d made his choice. “I only came back to help Aysha after our parents had gone—and I always thought I’d leave again once she married. But now it’s me who’s staying. Forever. I’ve promised Shawn…”

  “Forever?”

  Ranik hadn’t felt this desolate since the morning he’d learned of his parents’ deaths. “I was in love with you. All winter I waited—but you came back too late.”

  “It doesn’t have to be too late.” Jenner touched Ranik’s chest. Slowly his hand trailed downward.

  “You can’t touch me like that. I’ll want more.” Ranik turned and Jenner’s hand slipped off him.

  Jenner’s jaw muscles clenched. “Maybe Shawn wouldn’t mind sharing you.”

  “I’m not making that mistake again.” Ranik wouldn’t meet Jenner’s eyes. He couldn’t back down.

  “What will you do then?”

  “I’ll stay in Glen Ore and raise my child with a woman I don’t love…I’ll spend the rest of my life waiting for seeds to grow. I won’t travel to the places I dreamed of seeing. Year after year, it will be the same field, the same faces…”

  “You’re wrong about that. I know this farm won’t be your fate forever.”

  “My fate? Are you making prophecies now?” Ranik laughed bitterly. “Weren’t you the one who told me stories of the Northern magicians who foretell the future? Your Northern blood is coming out.”

  Jenner was quiet for a long moment. “Would you think me mad if I told you that I can see the future? It doesn’t happen when I try to see it. It catches me off guard. Sometimes when I look at the clouds…sometimes it’s only a gust of wind that does it. Other times I only have to touch someone and I can see it.”

  “I would say you’ve always been odd,” Ranik said. “But you’ve crossed a line now.”

  “I’m not joking. More than once I’ve seen a storm coming days before it hits. But it isn’t only the weather. When I first met your sister, I went to shake her hand and my skin went cold. In a flash of light, I saw her standing in a doorway of a castle with soldiers all around her. I opened and closed my eyes once and the castle was gone. Aysha was standing in front of me, shaking my hand and laughing about your cooking. I knew she wouldn’t stay in Glen Ore. Though the fact that she left because of you…I didn’t expect that.”

  “I begged her to stay.”

  “You couldn’t stop her from leaving, Ranik.”

  “What was that part about the castle?”

  “I don’t know anything more—I only saw for a moment…I’m leaving too, Ranik. I’m tired of the same river. I need a change.”

  “Who will run the riverboat?”

  “My mother has another son. He’s been living with his father in Glen Roushe but he came down this winter to learn the river. He’s not a bad boatman.”

  Ranik immediately thought of the man that he’d seen coming out of the tavern with Jenner. So much had happened since that day in Glen Briar… The two men had appeared close—as close as lovers—but now he realized that the man must have been his brother. Because of his mistake, he’d let Shawn into his bed.

  “I’ll sail to the Halo Isles and then along the southern coast. I came to ask you to join me. But I’d stay here on this farm if you asked…”

  Ranik sank down on the hay. How many times had they planned a journey to the Halo Isles? They were meant to go together. But now he had a different fate. “How did you know about the baby?”

  “I saw the woman come out of your house. She was the one who told me that you were probably at the market and that Aysha had gone. I knew she was Aysha’s lover, but I could see she was pregnant. It wasn’t Aysha’s doing, that much was clear.”

  “She was with Aysha…And then…”

  “And then I didn’t come to Winter Solstice.” Jenner placed a hand on Ranik’s chest. “I promised I’d be there and I didn’t come.”

  Ranik had no more words. He felt entirely spent. Jenner clasped his hand.

  “You know, I will come back to Glen Ore for another festival. I’ll find you in the market, as always. Perhaps we will have gray hair then, but I’ll find you.”

  “Don’t let it be that long.” Ranik closed his eyes when Jenner let go of his hand. He heard the barn door creak and opened his eyes. Jenner was gone. He stood in the barn, the only sounds belonging to Prince’s breathing. Half of Prince’s hay was still in the rack. He’d been slow to eat his food since Cobalt had gone.

  The barn door swung open and Shawn stood in the doorway. “I saw him leave.”

  The air rushed out of Ranik’s chest, leaving him empty inside. Jenner was gone and he was in Glen Ore to stay. “And what of it?”

  “We said we would discuss this.”

  “Discuss what?”

  “Don’t lie, Ranik. I know what you two were up to in here. We said we would tell each other about someone new, before anything happened.”

  “Jenner isn’t new. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. Nothing happened.”

  “Nothing? I won’t ask, then, what you two were doing in here. I don’t want to stand here while you lie to me.”

  “You’re going to lecture me about lying?” He wanted to yell but kept his voice in check. “After everything?”

  “You could have told Aysha yourself.” Shawn spat out the words. “Do you think I chose this, Ranik? This life with you—and a baby?”

  “But you did choose it, didn’t you? Night after night, we both did.”

  “You’re upset that Aysha left—fine. So am I. You’re upset that we’re stuck in this life together? So am I. Aysha was always waiting for something more or someone better than me…I knew she would leave Glen Ore. And I knew I would stay behind. And you,” she took a step forward and Ranik held his ground. “I never had any expectations that you would love me. It was easy to be with you because there was no talk of love. But everything is different now, isn’t it?”

  Ranik stared at her belly and felt his anger slip away. “Everything is different,” he repeated.

  Chapter Seventeen

  The sun glinted on the water, turning the length of the river a shimmering silver. Darin lay on her back a few feet away. Her eyes were closed but from her breathing, Aysh
a knew she wasn’t sleeping.

  Her desire had grown to the point that Darin’s hand could bump against hers and she’d have to find an excuse to go for a walk. She couldn’t meet her gaze without her mouth going dry. Darin was the one who was supposed to be obsessed with the smell of everything, but now Aysha couldn’t stop her thoughts when she caught Darin’s scent, a blend of fresh cut oat hay and salty sweat. Nightly she dreamed of their bodies pressing together, but she kept to her own bed mat. Darin didn’t try to kiss her or even embrace. She seemed afraid to come too close.

  With no work to be done, they lay about for hours. Cobalt had plenty to eat with the grass and the young sprouts from the slender trees along the river bank. They ate fish, boiled with bay leaves and tiny onion bulbs, for dinner each night and often for breakfast as well. The greens that grew along the water’s edge were bitter but tender and this along with the nuts and mushrooms that Darin found was enough for a midday meal. Darin could find food anywhere it seemed, or she’d been so used to foraging that she had a better eye for it than Aysha.

  Aysha wondered often at how Darin had gotten by in the winter months when she’d run from Alekander and the other bounty hunters. But a clouded look came over her face any time Aysha asked her about it. Every conversation was about the river and what lay beyond. Nothing was mentioned about their past, especially not about Darin’s.

  Darin roused now and met Aysha’s gaze. Shifting up on one elbow, she glanced at the river and then up at the few puffs of clouds. The sun lit on her dark curls.

  She stretched and stood up. “Are you hungry?”