by Lucia Ashta
Dolpheus and I had grown up together. We were born in the same year, raised in the same household. He was the son of my father’s manservant. My father outwardly discouraged our friendship for a long time. But once King Oderon had my mother killed, he poured his despair, his ambition, and his desire for revenge into his work. Soon thereafter, I transitioned into an afterthought. My father was too consumed by more important things to care about the division of classes.
Dolpheus became my closest friend. I couldn’t stand to hear him referred to as a manservant, so I donned him with the title of Arms Master. I couldn’t confer any greater title upon him. Only a king could do that. Arms Master was a mostly irrelevant title, considering that I was neither at war nor anticipating attack, but it accomplished what I’d hoped it would. It afforded him some well-deserved respect with strangers that didn’t know him enough to understand that he deserved respect independent of any title.
Whenever I left my father’s lands, Dolpheus almost always accompanied me. And he only called me by my titles when others were in a position to overhear us. Calling me “milord” was a clear signal, even to my recovering mind, that I needed to be careful with my words. Within the walls of the royal palace, there was no such thing as true privacy. Ilara had discovered a listening device in her private chambers. If the King would stoop to spying on his daughter, he’d have no qualms about eavesdropping on anyone else.
“Thank you, Dolpheus.” I leaned into his arm and rubbed my hands across my face. “How long have I been out?”
“It’s been several days, Milord.”
I turned my head sharply to look at my friend and instantly regretted it. “Several days? And my head still hurts this much?” I moved my hands to the back of my skull. “Ah.” I winced.
“It hurts in the back?”
“It hurts everywhere.”
“I can’t believe you did a mind merge with King Oderon.” Dolpheus spoke more softly now.
So did I. “We knew it might come to that.”
“Still.” He whistled in uncommonly subdued fashion. When the façade of obedience fell away later in private, I knew he’d have much more colorful things to say about it. He’d tried to dissuade me from doing a mind merge in our previous discussions by referring to it as a mind fuck that didn’t go too well for the one getting fucked. There was a part of me that wished I’d listened. I did feel like I’d gotten fucked and badly, with all the soreness and none of the fun.
“Are you all right?” Dolpheus’ astute eyes were studying me.
“I think so. Every part of me hurts right now, but I don’t think any permanent damage was done.”
“Although if permanent damage was done, you might not know it, right? A damaged mind might be unable to send messages of a change in its functioning.”
I sighed. Sometimes I wasn’t in the mood to hear Dolpheus express his high intelligence. Like right now. He and I had gone over this many times before coming to the royal palace. The risks of a mind merge were high, but there was no other good alternative to win the King’s trust, and there was no other way to save Ilara than by gaining it. In fact, I’d found no other way.
Ilara and I knew how to prevent others from discovering our whereabouts. We’d purposefully made sure that no recordings of our togetherness existed. Besides, even if I’d been in possession of visual evidence of our togetherness—an image of a shared kiss perhaps—it would be insufficient to prove our love for each other. Nor would it have been enough to prove my intentions to the King. Nothing short of allowing my lover’s father to view my memories and thoughts could convince him to confide in me.
Without his trust, I couldn’t find Ilara. He was the only one I was certain must possess information regarding his daughter’s whereabouts. He had to know. A man like King Oderon wouldn’t send his daughter to another planet without having some way of recalling her to him. No father would want to send his daughter off without any chance of ever seeing her again, this father especially.
My father’s assassins killed the Queen in the same attack that instigated my lover being flung across space to some forsaken planet. Ilara was all the King had left to him now. There was no way that he’d agree to losing her forever when he was freshly mourning his wife, a wife that he’d apparently loved.
“Help me down from here,” I said.
“Are you certain that’s a good idea, Milord?” Dolpheus was speaking for our invisible audience again, his voice loud enough to carry throughout the small, sterile room. “Are you sure that you’ll be stable on your feet, Lord Tanus?”
“No, I’m not certain at all,” I grumbled. “But get me up anyway, will you?”
“Yes, Milord.”
With Dolpheus’ help, I stood, half leaning against him and half against the hovering bed behind me. There was no part of me that stood on its own, but at least I was upright. After the vulnerability I’d experienced from the mind merge, standing upright like a man made me feel better, even if in actuality I was doing none of the standing.
I pushed off the bed a little and nearly collapsed into my friend. “Get me home please, Dolpheus.” I leaned all of my weight on him; I knew he could take it. Ordinarily, he was my match in strength.
“Uh, I’m not sure that we’re allowed, Milord.”
I snapped around to look at him faster than I should have. I studied his eyes that could tell me what his words couldn’t. I found trepidation there.
“The mind merge was very difficult for our Liege Lord the King. He’s only just woken. He slept nearly as long as you did. The royal physician has been most concerned. He couldn’t wake the King once the mind merge was interrupted.”
I stared back at my friend.
“Now that he’s woken, it seems that he’s stable and recovering quickly. Remember, he’s also still recovering from the latest assassination attempt.”
How could I forget? It had been a very long time since my father had made anything easier for me. In fact, he was quite skilled at making everything as difficult for me as possible. Yet complicating my life was only an unintended side effect of his ambitions. I didn’t want to imagine what my life would be like if my father were intentionally trying to harm me. He was a man of vast resources and questionable conscience.
I was silent for a moment while I processed the effect of the mind merge on the King. Of course, I hadn’t realized what must have been going on around me in the royal infirmary. I couldn’t hear a thing at the time, my hearing muted as if explosives had just detonated near me. It was no wonder that no one seemed bothered with me or my sickness. The King came first. He would always come first.
“Why aren’t we allowed to leave?”
“I don’t know. I think it was just easier to order us to stay, in case the King wanted us here when he woke. You know no one wants to do anything that would displease the King.”
I nodded. The pain that burst in my head as I did was less than it had been before. I had the beast of all hangovers.
“Now that the King is awake, perhaps someone can ask for his permission to leave. If he doesn’t need us, we can go home.”
Again, I nodded. “Will you go request his permission while I wait here?” Now that I was on my feet, I didn’t think I could make it too far.
“Yes, Milord.”
“And help me back up on the bed.”
Dolpheus did. It was just as painful to lay back down as it had been to get up in the first place. I could have given Dolpheus instructions on what to say to the King’s attendants. However, Dolpheus knew the workings of the court and the current political environment as well as I did, and I made sure that I was an expert in them.
Instead, I closed my eyes to push out the pounding and hoped not to hear another sound for a while after the door to the infirmary swished open and shut.
Six
It took Dolpheus some time—how long, I have no idea—to return. Still, he could have stayed away all day and I wouldn’t have minded. My recovery was progressing, but
it was doing so with agonizing slowness. When the door swished open, my head still throbbed and my insides seemed hollow.
I forced my eyes open only to squint in the dim light. I didn’t like how Dolpheus was looking at me, like I was some kind of invalid.
“You don’t look so good,” he said.
“Yeah? Well neither do you. Your nose looks particularly bulbous in this lighting.”
Dolpheus chuckled. He and I both knew he was handsome. A steady history of women—the lower-class women in the open, the upper class ones in secret—luring him into dalliances was proof enough.
“We’re free to leave for now.”
“The King gave his permission?”
“No. He’s awake but quite weak. Lord Drakos didn’t want to bother the King with it. He gave his permission for us to leave, although we might be called back to court later if the King desires it.”
Lord Drakos was the King’s minister. While the King had his hand in every significant thing that concerned the rule of Planet O, he was forced to delegate some things, even if he didn’t want to. There were only thirty-three hours in a day, even for a king, and Planet O was big and its rule complex, with the outlying territories beyond the city still dangerous and largely resistant to regulation.
“All right. Then help me up.”
This time, Dolpheus moved me more slowly. “I haven’t seen you this beat up since our last pass through the Koal Desert.”
I groaned, both from my upward motion and the memory of how bad it had been on the journey through the Koal Desert, searching for Ilara. “I seem to remember that even your pretty face was bruised and swollen then.”
He smiled. Only a man with the spirit of a warrior could look back upon such a gruesome fight with any kind of pleasure. “Those moabs were fierce.”
“Aye. As were their riders.” Many of those who rejected the rule of the Crown absconded to the Koal Desert. There, the rebels were largely left to their own ways. The Desert was harsh and unforgiving and the rate of survival low. If other rebels didn’t kill you, the wicked sand storms would. “If I recall, the worst of your injuries was caused by a woman.”
Dolpheus grinned. “That’s right.” He liked his women feisty. “Your Il—” He caught himself just in time. “Your lady’s as fierce a warrior as that woman was.”
I smiled. “Yes. Yes, she is.” I liked my women feisty too.
“Can you stand on your own?”
I pushed away from the bed against which I’d been leaning. When I began to waver, Dolpheus’ hand shot out to grab me. “I think it best if you lean on me.”
I didn’t bother nodding my agreement. I wasn’t making it anywhere without his assistance.
It took longer than it should have to cross the small room to the doorway. It looked just like the other four walls until we approached it. Then it slid open quietly to allow us exit to a wide, monotonous hallway. I knew the uninterrupted walls to either side of us must conceal many more rooms like the one that had just contained me.
The more we walked, the more my legs began to cooperate. By the time we reached the public areas of the palace, the queasiness had subsided some. Soon, I recognized the path Dolpheus was leading me on. He’d chosen not only the shortest route out of the place, but also the one that was least trafficked, at least by those of influence within the court. The regulars of the court didn’t frequent this part of the palace. They came to the palace to be seen by others that mattered to them, and none of the servants that hurried across these corridors and vast spaces counted.
Still, as people began to pass us by, I did what I could to walk on my own. I couldn’t separate from Dolpheus entirely, but I did work to appear more independent than I was just then. It wasn’t vanity—though I wasn’t wholly free of that infirmity—it was something rather more important.
On Planet O, the greatest currency, even greater than glass, was power. The yielding of influence could achieve far more than anything else. I couldn’t yet know what would unfold—because I refused to accept an outcome that didn’t involve Ilara’s return—once I was able to bring Ilara back. My father was working hard to change the tides of power. The future of King Oderon’s rule was uncertain, which meant that everything was uncertain. It was now more than ever that I needed to preserve my reputation for strength.
Several passersby spared us glances. Perhaps a few even recognized me. However, most were in a hurry to get on with their duties. And after what seemed like far too long to traverse the palace, even for as grand as it was, one of the exits loomed large before us. I didn’t speak of my relief to my friend. He knew it. I glued my eyes to the exit, willing my feet to continue just a bit longer. We were almost at the gate. Its glass sparkled away one of the sun’s rays, making it seem like the magical doorway that it truly would be for me right now.
One of the guards had already honed in on us, anticipating our arrival. He turned his face to us, head on, waiting.
“Lord Tanus,” he acknowledged once we finally reached him. I suppressed a sigh. It seemed that everyone at the palace knew who I was, despite my intentions otherwise. My father’s notoriety haunted me wherever I went. Maybe I should have been the one considering going off planet, instead of bringing Ilara back to this world.
But then, this world was hers if it was anybody’s. She loved Planet O like no one else I’d ever known. She’d told me more than once, when we lay in a naked embrace, sweaty limbs entwined, that she felt its pulse within her blood. She dismissed any suggestion I had of escaping this place so we could be together freely. She’d said that she had a responsibility to Planet O and all life upon it. Planet O spoke to her. When the time came, she’d know what to do—or so she said.
The guard swept his gaze up and down me and then across Dolpheus. Then he stepped toward us with a wand in his hand. Again, he swept the wand up and down me and then across Dolpheus. I always thought this process redundant. We’d been searched upon our entry, when detection of any sort of harmful device or weapon was appropriate. It didn’t seem to matter much if someone exited with a weapon. Yet I knew better than to complain.
“Your hand please, Lord Tanus.” I extended my hand to the guard’s waiting wand. After he scanned it, “Your hand please, sir.” Dolpheus gave the guard his hand.
We waited. “You are cleared to exit,” the guard said.
“Thank you,” Dolpheus said for me. He knew me so well that he realized that I’d begun to tremble inside even though no one else could see it.
The second we passed through the exit, he tightened his grip on my arm. But we didn’t make it ten steps down the walkway before the guard chased after us.
Seven
I froze at the sound of my name, but I didn’t turn.
I’d almost been free of the royal palace and the resultant necessity of pretense. I breathed to steel myself. I called on patience I didn’t possess. Then I leaned heavily on Dolpheus’ arm as, finally, I turned.
“Yes? What is it?” I was both surprised and impressed with the composure I heard in my voice.
“His Majesty the King requests your presence, Lord Tanus,” the guard said, curious as to what the King could want with the son of the man who’d just tried to kill him.
For a moment I couldn’t respond. The guard’s eyebrows rose slightly, though he contained his questions. No one hesitated when the King called him—at least, no one was supposed to.
Dolpheus nudged me. His elbow poked my ribs in a way that the guard couldn’t see, but I was certain to feel.
“Very well.” I imbued pleasantry into my voice, hoping to make up for my hesitation. Rumors spread quickly across Planet O, even sprawling across the expanse of deserts, eventually. But nowhere did rumors travel more rapidly than at the royal court, where idle courtiers fed on them like the beasts of the wilds. They sniffed out a rumor as a moab smelled weakness and blood.
“I have instructions that you’re to follow me.”
I smiled an awkward smile that strove to conceal th
e pain that pulsed through me. The guard turned and began to walk, reentering the palace. After ten paces, he stopped, just within the gate.
“Identification please.”
“You’re kidding, right?” Dolpheus said. The words he chose were much kinder than the ones running through my mind.
“I’m not. It’s my duty to check everyone’s identification as they enter and exit the royal palace.”
When neither one of us moved to proffer the requested identification, the guard threw his shoulders back to show us the full broadness of his chest, even though he was several inches shorter than either of us. “It’s the law, Lord Tanus. You must produce your identification to enter. And the King has requested your presence.”
Still hanging onto Dolpheus’ arm, I leaned around the guard. I thought to seek reason in the second guard on duty at the gate. Surely, the other man had noticed that we just showed our identification less than a minute before. Certainly, I thought, the other guard couldn’t be such an idiot as this man was. But if the second guard noticed me looking at him, he didn’t let on.
The smaller guard shot a look over his shoulder, into the royal palace. He didn’t want to be late to respond to the King’s summons. Regardless, when he turned back to face us, it was clear that he was prepared to wait as long as it took.
I was in no mood for a standoff. I offered my hand. On the way out, he’d held onto my wrist to steady my hand while he scanned my palm. Now, he hovered the wand above my palm. I noticed that the hand that held the wand wasn’t steady.
After he scanned me, he stared at the readout on the wand, waiting. My nostrils flared even though I didn’t mean them to. A second passed. Two. Three. “All clear,” he said when the results came in.
I didn’t say a word.
“Now you, Sir.”
Dolpheus extended his arm, careful to keep his hold on me. To the guard, he would have seemed like an amiable gentleman. But I knew him better. He was as irritated as I was. His breathing was tense while we waited for the wand to spit out the exact same results it had moments before.