“I’m American,” Helena offered, and the group laughed, including Katherine, despite her shock. “And if that isn’t enough of a scandal on its own, when I came here I was my cousin’s companion. A servant, really. Baldwin and I were instantly drawn to each other, but we couldn’t be together because of…well, he had his own scandal he was trying to subvert. We worked it out in the end, but there was some vicious talk when we returned to London last year. Some of them still glare at me for taking a duke from market.”
Katherine shook her head. “I had no idea. I was so removed from Society by my husband that I missed all this. But surely that is all. Isn’t it?”
“No,” Charlotte said with a soft smile. “You and I were once in an unhappy marriages club. But my scandal was that I have been in love with Ewan since…forever. Since I was a girl. When I came out of mourning last Christmas, I decide to seduce him. We ended up trapped in his estate by a storm, and seduce him I did. We were nearly killed by his own brothers, who have always despised him. I must be in the running, dear Adelaide, for biggest scandal.”
Adelaide tilted her head. “The brothers do make it more complicated. But I think if there is a second to my scandal, then it is Isabel.”
Isabel had been smiling through the entire recitation of all the head-swimming scandals, and now she stood and looked around the room. “I met Matthew at the Donville Masquerade.”
Katherine covered her mouth. She had heard of that place. Sometimes Gregory had thrown its existence up in her face. Taunted her with his membership, told her she belonged in its halls like the rest of the whores.
“Is it terrible?” she whispered.
Isabel’s face softened. “No. It’s a place for pleasure. Matthew and I connected there, and it was only after that when his identity was revealed. He was once engaged to my cousin. She died, very tragically, in an accident.”
“You didn’t know it was him?” Katherine gasped.
“Not at first.” Isabel took a deep breath. “When the lie came out…well, there were other circumstances and we were forced to marry. It’s complicated.”
“But he forgave you for the lie,” Katherine said. “I’ve seen him with you—it’s clear he adores you.”
“Yes, I’m lucky.”
“He’s lucky, too,” Meg said, taking a sip of tea. “You saved him, we all know it.”
Katherine wrinkled her brow at the reference. “I cannot believe so many of you have had scandal.”
“All of us, really. Even the couples not here at present were embroiled in it. You’d have to ask Amelia and Diana about that, but I’m certain they would confess with just as clear a conscience as we have,” Emma said. “Because the fact is, my dear, that scandal doesn’t mean a thing.”
“The best couples seem to begin with one, that is for certain,” Helena said with a smile.
Katherine froze as she realized they were comforting her because they thought her kiss with Robert meant more than it did. Perhaps if they understood the truth, all this acceptance would fade.
And yet she didn’t want to lie.
“Roseford and I are not a couple,” she said slowly.
Isabel folded her arms. “That cad. Honestly, it is like he is determined to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. So Robert tells you that a future cannot be?”
Katherine shook her head, thinking of what he wanted, thinking of what she withheld. “No. Both of us. Me.”
There was silence in the room for a beat, and then Charlotte got up. “I know what it’s like to be unhappy in a marriage for so long. Your circumstances seem to be far worse than my own were, and I can well imagine that would leave you…uncertain of making a new future.”
Katherine bent her head. “I suppose that is part of it. There are other reasons.”
“Is it the bargain I told you Robert made?” Isabel asked.
“That’s another part of it, yes.”
Isabel’s shoulders rolled forward. “Oh, Katherine, you must know that for all his eccentricities, Robert is a good man. I was angry with him for that bad behavior and thought you should know the truth, but I would never discourage you from taking a future with him.”
“We’ve all watched you with him this week,” Emma said softly. “And have commented to each other more than once that you two seem a good match.”
“Do we?” Katherine said with a shake of her head.
“You do,” Adelaide said. “You do not let him run you over. It’s terribly confusing to him and amusing for us. But that is what he needs. Someone who doesn’t give him much quarter, makes him work for what he wants. He…smiles more when he’s with you.”
“He is the real Robert, which you hardly ever see in mixed company,” Meg added. “Normally he is the Seducer at full force, but when he’s with you, I see him. The man we all care for. The man who would die for his friends.”
“From the outside, it does look like a good match,” Helena said.
Katherine’s hands began to shake and she shoved them behind her back as she paced away from the group and stood at the window looking down at the garden. She didn’t see it. Her mind was too busy spinning, her eyes blurred.
What they were saying…it was almost impossible not to allow it to put thoughts in her head. Dangerous thoughts of a future she didn’t want. A life she couldn’t lead. A man she couldn’t love. Wouldn’t.
“Well, I thank you all for your candor,” she said, hating that her voice was shaking, too. “I clearly have a great deal to think about. Perhaps you’ll forgive me for being rude and excuse me.”
Emma stepped forward. “Oh, Katherine, we didn’t mean to overwhelm you.”
Katherine tried to smile, but it was almost impossible as she faced the group of duchesses, all looking at her like they believed she would one day soon be one of them. But they didn’t know the truth. They didn’t know she could never be with him.
“You haven’t,” she managed to say.
It was true to a point. She was overwhelmed, but it wasn’t entirely by them. It was her own heart that overwhelmed her. Her own mind. Her own desires, that whispered, then spoke, then screamed in her head that what these women described was something she couldn’t deny.
“She looks like she’ll faint,” Helena said, getting up. “Katherine, sit down. Drink your tea. We are all going to stop regaling you with competitive stories about our scandals and trying to convince you that Robert is a safe bet for a future. Instead, we are going to talk about Emma’s gown, which is brand new and beautiful. Emma, where did you get that fabric?”
Katherine thumped back into the settee and half-listened as her friends loudly changed the subject for her benefit. But in her mind, the subject would not be changed. And she would have to face the topic soon enough when she came face to face with Robert again.
Chapter Sixteen
Katherine had been avoiding him since their kiss in the parlor. Robert supposed he should be accustomed to that. After all, this was the same woman who had fled from him after her return to Society weeks ago. The woman who had set him down and thrown him aside and denied him ever since, even though she clearly wanted him.
If avoiding him were an art, she would be a proficient.
At first, it had created amusement and interest in him. But now, watching her across the room as she played a hand of whist with Meg, Emma and Charlotte, the fact that she would not look at him was…
Well, annoying was the word. It sat in his gut, making him think about her face earlier in the day when they were caught together. His imprudence had caused that sick expression, that dull fear, and he felt…guilty for it.
Guilt was not an emotion he normally let take root in his mind. Too dangerous.
“You look mightily aggravated,” Simon said as he moved to Robert’s side and observed the room with him.
“You’re here,” Robert muttered. “Who wouldn’t be aggravated?”
Simon grinned at his ill-natured quip bu
t didn’t back away or press him on it. At least for a moment.
“I’m fine,” Robert added when the silence became too much. When he felt Simon’s questions and judgments hanging in the air like a noose between them.
“Good,” Simon said. “Never implied otherwise.”
“Yes, you did.” Robert turned toward him, folding his arms in what he knew was a display of petulance that was far beneath him. “You said I looked aggravated.”
“You are,” Simon corrected him. “You are practically throwing yourself on the floor and having a fit like Bibi does.”
“You compare me to an eighteen-month-old child,” Robert asked, thinking of James and Emma’s little girl. Although none of the children in attendance had been to many of the events, he knew they were around. Saw them with their parents from time to time.
“I suppose that’s unfair,” Simon said with a smile. “Bibi at her worst is more charming than you are at present.”
Robert turned away from him with a harrumph and hoped his friend would go away. Instead, Simon bumped him shoulder to shoulder. “Should I guess what is bringing on this little fit?” he asked.
Robert ground his teeth. “Have you nothing better to do?”
“Nothing at all.” Simon laughed. “You like her. And it’s driving you mad that this is becoming more to you than just some wager.”
“Like who?” Robert grumbled.
“The queen of bloody Spain,” Simon huffed. “Katherine, of course, you great idiot. Everyone can see it.”
Robert squeezed his eyes shut. He didn’t want everyone to see what he was having a hard time admitting to himself. “You and Meg,” he snapped. “With your stupid theories.”
Simon nodded. “Ah, so you don’t like her. Then you won’t mind if I invite her to join Meg and me for a few weeks after the party here is over.”
“Of course not,” Robert said, ignoring the twinge that accompanied the idea of the party ending. When it did, he wouldn’t see Katherine every day, no matter where she went. “I’m sure she’d love the country. You have a pretty estate.”
“Thank you. I’ll pass along your compliments,” Simon said with a chuckle. “Meg enjoys her company, of course. No need for her to go back to the lion’s den that is London so quickly, eh? Only bad influences there.”
Robert pursed his lips. “You are trying to get a rise out of me. It will not work.”
“No, because you don’t like her. So you will be happy to know there is a viscount who lives two estates over in Crestwood. Perhaps Meg will invite him to a cozy supper one night. He might be a wonderful match for Katherine.”
Robert pivoted, and his expression must have looked as fierce as it felt, for Simon took a long step away from him and his eyes went wide as saucers. “Would you like me to ask you my first question again?”
“I don’t know if I like her,” Robert growled. He had never wanted to throttle a person so much in his life. Simon stared at him for a beat, two, long enough that the silence became uncomfortable. At last, Robert threw up his hands. “Out with it.”
“You’ve avoided entanglements for a long time,” Simon said gently. “I’m concerned.”
Robert’s heart sank. It was one thing to guess how little his friends thought of him. Quite another to see it, to hear it.
“You fear what I’ll do to her, cold-hearted snake that I am,” he sneered.
Simon shook his head. “No. I am concerned about what you’ll do to yourself. Opening your heart is well worth the risk. But there is a risk. Meg and I know that fact as well as anyone.”
“Well, I’m not interfering with anyone’s engagement, so how would my risk be the same?” he asked.
Simon ignored the barb. “There will still be a part of you that you put on the line. You’re good at that in some ways. But never this one.”
Robert glared at him. He hated to admit that Simon’s words had struck upon the very fear that gripped him when he thought of taking a leap with Katherine. That the risk would not pay off. That both of them would be destroyed by love, just as he’d seen his mother destroyed.
He didn’t want that pain. He didn’t want to be responsible for what it would do to her. But what did that mean? Would it be best now to walk away from her? To end this affair and go back to what he was before?
Was that even possible?
“Robert?” Simon said softly.
“I’ve already risked something,” he admitted slowly. “I didn’t know I was doing it, but I did. And here I am. With all of you lot making eyes at me and asking me about Katherine three times a day.”
Simon nodded. “So what will you do?”
“Dance with her,” Robert said with a sigh.
“Dance?” Simon repeated.
He cast a side glance at his friend. “Ask your wife—I’m sure she remembers what it is to dance.”
“You know that’s not what I’m saying. You’re just going to dance with her. Make no other decision?”
Robert looked at her across the room again. She was on her feet now, the whist game over. Charlotte had moved across to the pianoforte, settling in with Ewan at her side to play a duet so the couples could dance.
He knew nothing more except what he’d admitted to Simon already. When he looked at Katherine he saw desire and beauty, he saw connection that he didn’t fully understand. He saw terror and hope, wound into one woman.
And right now all he wanted to do was dance with her. Let the rest fall away, be determined later.
“Dancing is a decision,” he said softly. “Six months ago, I would have just run.”
He met Simon’s eyes evenly, and his friend nodded. “Then go dance.”
He strode away toward her. She looked at him as he approached. There was that combination of happiness and anxiety that always mixed on her face when he came near her. He wondered what his own expression looked like.
But she didn’t run, just as he hadn’t. She shifted in her place beside her aunt and waited for him.
“My lady,” he said as he reached them. “And Mrs. Sambrook. How lovely you both look tonight.”
Mrs. Sambrook inclined her head. He could see the uneasy examination she was making. Just like his friends, it was clear she was aware of the circling he and Katherine were doing. Aware of how badly it could all end.
“You did not play cards,” Mrs. Sambrook said at last.
He smiled, forcing himself back into his mask of charisma and flirtation. His most Roseford of looks, rather than Robert. He was beginning to feel they were different people now, when once they’d been the same.
“I did not. Though I saw that Lady Gainsworth and the Duchess of Donburrow won.” He winked at Katherine and appreciated her little blush. “It seems you are quite the expert at cards.”
“She is,” Mrs. Sambrook said with a laugh. “If you are ever in a situation where you play whist with her, be sure to pick her as a partner. You do not want to play against my niece.”
Katherine shook her head. “You make it sound as though I would roundly trounce him if he were not my partner.”
“That sounds about right,” Robert teased.
Mrs. Sambrook glanced from one of them to the other, that appraising gaze more focused now. “Well, I think I shall get myself some punch. Will you two be fine if I leave you?”
Robert could tell that the question was truly aimed at Katherine. A way to suss out if she wanted to be alone with him. He waited her response and was pleased when she nodded. “Of course, Aunt Bethany.”
“I actually came to see if Lady Gainsworth might wish to dance with me,” he said.
She glanced over at where Charlotte and Ewan were playing. Their choice was the perfect song for a country jig. There would be little touching, at least nothing intimate like in a slower dance. But it was better than nothing.
“I would like that,” Katherine responded.
He nodded to her aunt, then extended a hand to Katherine.
She took it, electricity leaping between them. He guided her into the space on the floor meant for dancing and joined in on the dance in progress.
When they swung in close together, he smiled. “I’m glad you accepted my invitation to dance, Katherine. I thought after earlier that you might run.”
Her smile faded. “Why would I do that?”
They parted and he waited to respond as they each performed their complicated steps and then stepped in together once more. “Because you’ve been hiding from me all day.”
She blushed. “That isn’t true.”
He arched a brow and they separated. Her cheeks held their flush as she twirled and then returned to him.
“Very well, I might have been avoiding you,” she admitted. “I was embarrassed that we were caught in such a state by Emma and Meg. I worried they would not like me anymore. But they quickly disabused me of such a notion.”
Her eyes were a little clearer as she said that, and he relaxed. He’d never believed the women would not be kind to Katherine in her upset, but to see that she had been calmed made him love his friends’ wives even more.
They returned to each other, and he said, “I am sorry that I caused you grief even for a moment.”
Her eyes went wide and she stumbled in the steps. “You? We were both in that room, Robert. We were kissing each other.”
He licked his lips and couldn’t help but think about doing the same right this very moment. “Yes, we were. And now I must ask you a question.”
Before he could, the dance dictated they part again. She kept her gaze on him, confused and concerned before they returned and touched hands. “What is your question?”
The music ended and he executed a bow. “Come to me tonight?”
She caught her breath, and for a moment he saw all the conflict in her mind play out across her features. But it took her only a few seconds before she nodded.
“Yes,” she whispered.
Something in him buckled at her acquiescence and his stomach flipped. He was so tangled up in her now. His happiness was starting to be bound to her presence.
The Duke of Desire Page 16