The Debt of Tears

by Cao Xueqin

  ‘Goodness!’ exclaimed Bao-yu. ‘I can hardly believe it! Yes, Father did banish me to that place – what an ordeal! I don’t know how I stuck it out! I thought I’d never see you all again! But now, one glimpse of you has raised my spirit from the dead! How does the old Song go?

  ’Twas scarce a day we were apart –

  It seemed three autumns long!

  That’s just how I feel.’

  ‘Have you been to see Grandmother and your parents?’ asked Dai-yu.

  ‘Yes, yes…’

  ‘And the others?’

  ‘Not yet.’

  ‘Shouldn’t you go and see them now?’

  ‘But I don’t feel like going anywhere. All I want to do is sit here and chat with you for a bit. Anyway Father says from now on it’s “early to bed and early to rise” so the others will have to wait until tomorrow.’

  ‘Very well then,’ said Dai-yu. ‘A short stay. Then you must be sensible and go and lie down.’

  ‘But I’m not tired,’ protested Bao-yu. ‘Just fed up with all that. It’s doing me a world of good in fact, being here with you, if you’d only stop thinking of all these things I should be doing.’

  A faint smile crossed Dai-yu’s face.

  ‘Nightingale, would you make Master Bao a cup of Dragon Well tea? We must see that scholarship is suitably rewarded.’

  Nightingale smiled and went to fetch the tea, which she entrusted to one of the junior maids. Bao-yu reacted smartly.

  ‘Scholarship! Why, you’re almost beginning to sound like one of them! I can’t abide all that hypocritical moralizing. And those absurd Octopartite essays, which they have the nerve to call “Propagation of Holy Writ”, are nothing more than a shoddy way of worming themselves into a job. The whole thing makes me sick! Not content with botching together a few classical tags, they try to hide the fact that they haven’t got a single original idea of their own by churning out a lot of far-fetched purple passages – and then pride themselves on having been “subtle” and “profound”. Urrghhh! Holy Writ! Holy Pretentious Humbug I’d call it! I know Father is forcing that sort of thing down my throat at present, and I just have to grin and bear it, but that’s no reason for you to go on about it the moment I’m back.’

  ‘I know girls don’t have to read Octopartites,’ replied Dai-yu. ‘But when I was little and was having lessons with your cousin Yu-cun, I looked at a few and remember thinking that some were quite well thought out and sensibly written. One or two were even quite subtle, and had a certain delicate charm. They were rather above my head at the time, but I still enjoyed reading them. It’s silly to run them all down. Anyway, I think if you want to get on in life, this is quite an admirable way of doing it.’

  Bao-yu could hardly believe his ears. What had come over Dai-yu? She had never preached wordly wisdom at him like this before. Not wishing to provoke a full-scale argument, however, he restricted himself to a little snort of amazement.

  Meanwhile, voices could be heard outside.

  ‘Aroma sent me to Her Old Ladyship’s to fetch Master Bao home from school.’ It was Ripple. ‘I’ve tracked him down at last!’

  ‘Go on,’ replied Nightingale. ‘Let him drink his tea first. It’s just this minute been made.’

  The two maids came in together, and Bao-yu laughed:

  ‘I was just on my way, Ripple; you shouldn’t have bothered to come.’

  ‘You’d best drink your tea and be off!’ Nightingale chimed in, before Ripple could get a word in. ‘Can’t you see how they’ve been pining for you all day…’

  ‘Pscht! You mean little fibber!’ cried Ripple, rising perfectly to the bait. Everyone laughed. Bao-yu finally stood up to say goodbye, and Dai-yu saw him to the door. Nightingale stood at the foot of the steps till he was on his way, and then she too went back indoors.

  When Bao-yu arrived at Green Delights, Aroma emerged from the inner room to greet him.

  ‘Finished school then?’ she asked.

  ‘Oh, Master Bao’s been back for ages,’ Ripple answered for him. ‘He’s been at Miss Lin’s.’

  ‘Did anything happen while I was away?’ asked Bao-yu.

  ‘Oh, nothing much,’ replied Aroma pointedly. ‘Just a lecture from Faithful. Her Ladyship sent her to let us know that this time the Master is in deadly earnest about your studies, and if any of us dares to play the fool with you again, we’ll be dealt with like Skybright and Chess.’ She sighed. ‘We do our very best to serve you, and that’s all the thanks we get. It’s all so pointless.’

  Her evident distress brought a swift reply from Bao-yu.

  ‘My poor Aroma! You’ve no need to worry. So long as I work hard, none of you need ever hear another word from Mother. I’m going to do some work this evening, as the Preceptor wants me to do some exposition tomorrow. If there’s anything I need, Musk and Ripple can get it for me, so you go and have a rest.’

  ‘If only you would work hard,’ said Aroma, ‘it would be a joy to serve you.’

  Inspired by her words, Bao-yu bolted his supper, had his reading-lamp lit and sat down straight away to revise his basic texts, the Four Books of Confucian Scripture. One glance at the first page, however, with its columns of heavily annotated text, and he began to experience a familiar sinking feeling. He tried flicking through one volume, and the general drift seemed clear enough; but the moment he went into it in any detail, it seemed to slip from his grasp. He turned for help to the marginal commentaries, he read the expository essays, keeping up the struggle till late in the evening.

  ‘Poems are easy,’ he thought to himself. ‘But I can’t make head or tail of this stuff.’

  He sat back, gazed at the ceiling and was soon lost in a daydream.

  ‘Bedtime,’ said Aroma firmly. ‘You’ve done quite enough work for this evening.’

  Bao-yu gave an inaudible reply. Musk and Aroma helped him into bed, and then went to sleep themselves.

  During the night, they woke to hear him tossing and turning on the kang.

  ‘Are you still awake?’ said Aroma. ‘You must stop fretting and have a good night’s sleep. You can work hard again tomorrow.’

  ‘I know,’ replied Bao-yu. ‘But I just can’t get to sleep. Come and take off one of my covers.’

  ‘It’s a cold night. You’d better keep it on.’

  ‘I feel so restless!’ He threw back the top cover himself. Aroma immediately clambered over to tuck it in again, and put her hand to his brow. It felt slightly feverish.

  ‘Lie still!’ she said. ‘You’ve a fever.’

  ‘I know.’

  ‘What’s the matter?’

  ‘It’s nothing. I’m just nervous, that’s all. Please don’t make a thing of it. If Father finds out, he’s bound to say I’m cooking up an excuse to miss school. It would seem too much of a coincidence. I’ll feel better in the morning, and once I’m at school it’ll go away.’

  Aroma gave in.

  ‘I’ll sleep here by your side,’ she said. She massaged his back a little and in no time they were both fast asleep. When they woke next morning the sun was already high in the sky.

  ‘Help!’ cried Bao-yu. ‘I’m late!’ He quickly washed and combed his hair, completed his round of morning duties and set off for school. The Preceptor’s severe expression as he walked into the schoolroom did not bode well.

  ‘Tardy, boy, tardy! What is the meaning of this? Small wonder that you have incurred your father’s displeasure and caused him to call you his prodigal son, if this is the way you think you can behave on your second day.’

  Bao-yu told him of his fever the night before, then crossed over to his desk and sat down to his work.

  It was late in the afternoon when he was called forward.

  ‘Bao-yu, step up here. Oral Exposition of this text.’

  Bao-yu walked up. On inspection, he found to his relief that it was a rubric he knew. Analects, chapter IX, verse XXII: Maxima Debetur Puero Reverentia – RESPECT DUE TO YOUTH. ‘What a stroke of luck!’ he thought
to himself. ‘Thank goodness it’s not from the Mag* or the Med!’

  ‘How do you wish me to begin, sir?’

  ‘Amplificatio Totius, boy. Give the substance of the passage carefully in your own words.’

  Bao-yu first recited the original chapter, in the prescribed sing-song intonation, and then began:

  ‘In this verse we have the Sage’s Exhortation to Youth to Seize the Hour and Strive with Zeal, lest they end up becoming…’

  Bao-yu looked up at Dai-ru. The Preceptor sensed what was coming and tried to conceal his embarrassment with a short laugh:

  ‘Come on boy, come on. What is holding you back? Are you afraid of using a non-licet expression up to books? Remember: Scriptural Exegesis is exempt from the normal rules of Verbal Prohibition. Liber Rituum, Book I: “In Canonicorum Classicorumque Librorum Stu-diis Nomenclationum cessat Prohibitio.” What may they end up becoming?’

  ‘Complete Failures, sir,’ said Bao-yu, barely suppressing a mischievous smile. ‘In the first Segment, Sunt Verendi, the Sage is Spurring Youth on to Moral Endeavour in the Present, while the last Segment, Non Sunt Digni Quos Verearis, contains his Caution for the Future.’

  He looked up again at Dai-ru.

  ‘That will do. Interpretatio Partium.’

  Bao-yu began again:

  ‘Confucius saith: “For the Duration of Youth, each Spiritual and Mental Talent must be held in Due Esteem. For how can we ever Predict with Certainty another’s Ultimate Station in Life? But if a man, by Drifting and Wasting his Days, should reach the Age of Forty or Fifty and still be Unsuccessful and Obscure, then it can fairly be said that his Youthful Promise was an Empty One. He will have Forfeited For Ever the Esteem of his Fellow Men.” ’

  ‘Your Amplificatio Totius was passably clear,’ commented Dai-ru with a dry smile. ‘But I am afraid your Interpretatio Partium showed a good deal of immaturity. In the phrase sine Nomine, Nomen refers not to Success in the Worldly Sense but rather to an Individual’s Achievement in the Moral and Intellectual Spheres. In this sense it by no means implies Official Rank. On the contrary, many of the Great Sages of Antiquity were Obscure Figures who Withdrew from the World; and yet we hold them in the Highest Esteem, do we not? Nonne sunt Digni quos Vereamur?

  ‘You construe the last sentence incorrectly,’ he droned on. ‘Here it is not the element of Esteem but the Irreconcilable Nature of the Judgement of his Fellow Men that is being contrasted with their Tentative Appraisal of him as a Youth (see second sentence of your text). This emphasis is central to a Correct Elucidation of the passage. Do you follow me?’

  ‘Yes, sir.’

  ‘Good. Here is another.’

  Dai-ru turned back a few pages and pointed out a passage to Bao-yu. It was Analects again, this time chapter IX, verse XVIII: Ego nondum vidi qui amet Virtutem sicut amat Pulchram Speciem – THE RARITY OF A SINCERE LOVE OF VIRTUE. Bao-yu scented danger ahead and said with his most ingenuous smile:

  ‘I’m afraid I can’t think of anything to say, sir.’

  ‘Nonsense, my boy! Is that what you would write if it turned up as a Thema in your paper?’

  Reluctantly Bao-yu set the wheels in motion.

  ‘Confucius saith: ‘Men will not love Virtue, and yet they Fall Down and Worship Sensual Beauty at First Sight. The Reason for this Disaffection is that they are Blind to the Intrinsicality of Virtue. Beauty is an Intrinsic Quality too, and as such Loved by All, but it belongs to the Realm of Human Desire, whereas Virtue is a Natural Principle. How can Principle hope to Compete with Desire for the Affections of men? Confucius is both Lamenting the State of the World and Hoping for a Change of Heart. The Love of Virtue he has observed has been for the most part a Shallow and Short-lived Affair. How Fine it would be if only men would feel for Virtue the Devotion they feel towards Beauty…’

  ‘Thank you, that will do,’ said Dai-ru. ‘I have but one question to put to you. If you understand the words of Confucius so well, why is it that you transgress these very two Precepts? I am only an outsider, but without need of explanation from your Father I can identify your Moral Shortcomings. One cannot hope to become a Man except by dint of Constant Self-Improvement. You are at present a Youth of Promise, or as our text has it Puer Verendus. Whether or not you Fulfil this Promise depends entirely on your own efforts. Are you to be a Man of Merit, Vir Nominis, or are you to be a Man No Longer Esteemed by his Fellow-Men, Vir Non lam Verendus?

  ‘I shall allow you an initial period of one month in which to revise your old texts thoroughly, and a further month in which to study models of Octopartite Composition. At the end of the second month I intend to set you your Maiden Theme. If I detect any sign of slackness on your part, you need not expect me to be lenient. As the saying goes:

  Perfection comes through ceaseless effort;

  Effortless ease brings but perdition.

  Be sure to bear in mind all that I have said.’

  ‘Yes sir.’

  *

  And so we must leave Bao-yu for the present, submitting reluctantly to his daily lessons. During his absence at school, Green Delights became unrecognizably quiet and the days passed slowly and uneventfully. Aroma even found time to do some sewing. One day she sat down to finish a betel-nut ‘refresher’ bag she had been embroidering, and fell to thinking of the great change wrought in all their lives by Bao-yu’s new routine. How easy life was for the maids now that he was away all day! If things had only been like this earlier, Skybright might never have come to such a wretched end. Poor Skybright! Aroma sighed; for does not the hare in the trap set the fox’s heart a-beating? It was the shortest step from grieving for Skybright to brooding over her own future. What was to become of her? What sort of a life would she lead, as Bao-yu’s concubine? Bao-yu himself was no problem. She knew how to handle him. But what if he were to marry someone like Mrs Lian or Mr Pan’s new wife? Was she fated to be a second You Er-jie or Caltrop? To judge from Lady Jia and Lady Wang’s attitude in the past, and from the frequent hints dropped by Mrs Lian, it seemed a foregone conclusion that he would marry Miss Lin. Now there was a complicated young lady…

  With this new turn of thought Aroma’s colour deepened, her heart beat faster and her aim with the needle became more and more erratic. Finally she abandoned her embroidery altogether and set off for the Naiad’s House, determined to put Dai-yu’s disposition towards her to the test.

  Dai-yu was reading a book. When she saw Aroma come in, she moved over slightly and nodded to her to sit down.

  ‘I hope you’re feeling quite better, Miss,’ began Aroma, anxious to create the right impression.

  ‘Not really,’ replied Dai-yu. ‘I suppose I do feel a little less weak. What have you been doing at home?’

  ‘Now that Master Bao’s at school,’ replied Aroma, ‘it’s very quiet at home, so I thought I’d come round for a chat.’

  Nightingale came in with tea and Aroma rose promptly to her feet.

  ‘Please sit down, Nightingale dear.’ She laughed as she continued: ‘You’ve been making fun of us, so Ripple was telling me the other day…’

  ‘You don’t take any notice of what she says, do you?’ said Nightingale with a smile. ‘All I meant was that with Master Bao away at school all day, and Miss Chai and Caltrop both living out, things must be dull for you.’

  Aroma seized her opportunity:

  ‘Caltrop, did I hear you say? Oh, that poor girl! I feel so sorry for her! This new wife of Mr Pan’s is a Total Eclipse if ever there was one! She’s even worse than a certain person…’ Here Aroma held up two fingers, indicating the Second Young Lady of the household - Xi-feng. ‘This Mrs Pan doesn’t seem to care a bit what people think.’

  ‘That certain person was bad enough,’ said Dai-yu. ‘To think that You Er-jie is dead!’

  ‘I know,’ said Aroma. ‘They were both human beings, after all. It was only their positions that were different. Why did she have to be so malicious? It hasn’t done the family name any good.’

  This was the
first time Dai-yu had heard Aroma gossip like this, and she began to suspect what was at the back of it.

  ‘It’s hard to tell,’ she said. ‘In every family affair, one side or the other has to win. If it’s not the East Wind it’s the West.’

  ‘A concubine should know her place,’ said Aroma. ‘She should be too scared to take advantage of the wife.’

  At this point in the conversation an old woman’s voice was heard in the outer courtyard.

  ‘Is this where Miss Lin lives? Which maid is in charge here?’ Snowgoose went out to see who it was, and vaguely recognized her as one of Aunt Xue’s serving-women.

  ‘What do you want?’ she asked.

  ‘I’m here on an errand for Miss Bao-chai,’ replied the woman. ‘Something for Miss Lin.’

  ‘Wait here a minute.’ Snowgoose went in to consult with Dai-yu, who told her to show the old woman in. Once inside the room, she curtseyed to Dai-yu, then screwed up her eyes and peered at her curiously. Not a word of her errand. Dai-yu began to feel rather embarrassed, and asked what it was that Bao-chai had sent over.

  ‘A pot of honeyed lychees is what I’ve been instructed by Miss Bao-chai to bring to you, Miss Lin,’ replied the old woman, her features relaxing into a smile. Then she spotted Aroma in the room. ‘Why, if it isn’t Master Bao’s maid, Miss Hua!’

  ‘That’s right, nanny dear,’ replied Aroma. ‘And how did you come to know who I was?’

  ‘Well, looking after Madam’s room as we do, we hardly ever go out visiting with Madam and Miss Bao-chai, so you wouldn’t recognize us. But we remember just about all the young ladies that come round our way.’

  She handed the pot to Snowgoose, took another look at Dai-yu, then turned back to Aroma and said with a confidential smile:

  ‘No wonder our Madam says that Miss Lin and your Master Bao were made for one another! She really does look just like a fairy!’

  Aroma made a valiant attempt to avert any further blunders.

  ‘Come along, nanny, you must be tired. Why don’t you sit down and have a cup of tea?’