“We only talk once in a while, but otherwise I can email him. We’re not on bad terms. It’s fine. Really.”
“Are you sure? Don’t you just want him to go away?”
“Honestly, I’m not ready for that just yet.”
“Well, okay, but if he says one thing to you that’s out of line, you let me know and I will take you out of that branch so fast it’ll make his stupid fucking hair spin.”
“I know, it’s awful, isn’t it? He wouldn’t cut it for me. I guess his little gold digger likes it.”
“He’s gross.”
“Does anyone else know? Besides us?”
“I don’t think so, but you better be careful. I had people making comments to me at the conference.”
“HUH?! What do you mean?!?”
“You know how these people are, I heard comments about your boobs all night long, and then someone told me that you and Matt seemed very intimate with each other… I guess the way you were sitting at dinner.”
“Let me guess, Judy Decker?”
“I’m not saying who. I’m just sayin’, you gotta be careful at those conferences. There are nosy busy-bodies everywhere.”
“Well that’s because we WERE intimate with each other, but it doesn’t matter now, I doubt I’ll ever see him again.”
“Well, that’s good, because he sucks.”
The next day, a large floral arrangement arrived from a very apologetic Brooke.
Chapter Nineteen
One afternoon, Brooke informed me that she had finally been properly introduced to Katya in the hall. She just happened to be leaving early and stumbled upon Matt and her in the middle of a very obvious lover’s quarrel.
“She was standing there with her arms crossed giving him the business. I don’t know what they were fighting about but if looks could kill…”
“What did he say to you?”
“He just introduced her. Said, ‘Hey Brooke, this is Katya Butterface,’ or whatever her name is. ‘She works upstairs.’”
“Yeah, as if you didn’t know anything about her, right?”
“You were right about her face. That girl has the tiniest, pointiest, most bird-faced little features on her big ass bobble-head. She is NOT cute. And she dresses like a jackass. She had on some fugly embroidered shoes too.”
“Well, I appreciate you saying so,” I laughed. I wanted to cry, though. All that, and he still liked her better than me. “What did you say?”
“I just said, ‘Oh, nice to meet you,’ and shook her hand. He asked me if I was leaving to go work out and I said, ‘No, I was just going to meet with a new babysitter.’ He said, ‘Well I am, because I really need it,’ and looked at her like she was stressing him out. He’s supposed to be leaving Friday for his Ukraine trip.”
The next day, I saw that he had postponed his trip. No doubt it had something to do with their argument. Maybe she was planning on going with him. I had already made plans to visit Brooke that weekend. Travis and her son were out of town, and since I knew Matt would be gone, it seemed like a good time to go. I wouldn’t have to worry about wanting to see him again, because I knew that unfortunately, I still wanted to. Once I realized he was staying in town, I wasn’t sure what to do. I knew it wasn’t a good idea to see him. I was still nursing a broken heart, crying over him every single day, multiple times. But then again, if Brooke slipped and he found out I was in town, that would let him know I was actively trying to avoid him. I didn’t want him to know just how bad off I was. I decided to reach out to him Saturday afternoon with a quick text. Hopefully, I was interrupting one of their “sessions.”
Hey, Mattie, What’s up?
Hanging at a sports bar with my pals watching basketball. How about you?
Guess where I am.
Greensboro??
No dummy, around the corner from you!
Where?!
At Brooke’s house at the moment.
Wow, I am downtown actually, you guys never said anything!!!
We’re just in town for the weekend, brought the kids with me to see Kira.
Cool. Hope you are having a great time so far.
Aren’t you supposed to be in the Ukraine?
I was. I could not get my act together, going in 3 weeks.
Ahh, gotcha. We’re heading in Costco to get some steaks. Let me know if you want to grab a quick cup of coffee or something.
Thx Mal, will let you know.
I fully did not expect to hear from him. But I did, very early the next morning, just after eight a.m.
GM, kind of a busy morning, what time are you leaving today?
Hey, not until 4 or so I think.
Ok, will text you later.
I said to Brooke, “He is already starting up with that ‘busy’ nonsense. Good God man, it’s just coffee. He must think I’m going to rope him into some deep conversation or stalk him again or something. I wasn’t even planning on seeing him!”
“But you want to!”
“Well, yeah, I mean, it would be nice. But he’ll come up with an excuse, you watch.”
Just as I predicted, I got a text declining later that afternoon.
Sorry Mal… I cannot break away by 4 today. Have a safe trip back and I will call you later to check on your progress.
No problem, will catch you later!
He did call me in the car. I was about an hour and half into the trip home. Ruby was passed out already in the backseat and Claire was safely hooked up to headphones and very engrossed in her Lemony Snicket movie. I thought for sure I would only be able to talk to him for a minute or two before someone slapped the other, but by some miracle they were blissfully unaware of me being on the phone.
“Hey stranger, what’s up?”
“Not too much, how are you, sweetie?”
“Good, well, bad, I’m stuck in traffic. It looks like an overturned trailer up ahead. You all done watching the game?
“Yeah just heading home now. I’m sorry I couldn’t catch up with you. I had my son with me.”
“It’s no problem. I’ll catch you next time I’m down.” Realistically, I didn’t expect there to be a next time unless I came down to help Brooke move back to Raleigh.
“So, how did the kids like Atlanta?”
“Well they liked being here just fine, just not each other! They all got along for the first five minutes or so and then drove us both crazy fighting the rest of the time.”
“All of them?”
“No, Ruby gets along with everybody. But Claire and Kira both want to be the alpha dog.”
“Ahh, I see. Did you get to go out at all?”
“Nah, we mostly just hung out at their house. We took them swimming and to the park, but that was about it.”
“Hey, I don’t think I’m going to rent the Mosaic condo anymore in case you and Brooke want a return visit.”
“Thanks, I would love to, but I think our traveling days are over, at least together. Travis was not happy when we got home.”
“Is he ever?”
“That’s true, but you know he’s really softened up toward me lately. He’s not as mean as he lets on,” I replied. “So what happened with your trip?” As if he was going to tell me.
“Nothing really, I just had too much stuff to do. The market is making me nervous, just felt like I needed to stay. This way I can get more donations and supplies together too.”
“Isn’t it freezing cold over there right now?”
“Oh yeah, cold as a mofo. Snow and ice, baby! But I have a big donation that they really need.”
“Man, they really need to get with Federal Express.”
“I know! Right now it takes four to six weeks to mail a letter. Plus I want to check on some of the repairs over there. Several improvements we paid for last time have still not been completed.”
“Oh wow, sorry to hear that.”
I still wondered what his hallway fight with Katya had to do with him postponing the trip. But I wasn’t about to say, “So Bro
oke told me you were fighting with the Wonderbread Queen…”
We spoke for quite a while, and had a very friendly chat. Just like we used to have, our regular banter, lots of laughs. He didn’t seem to be in a hurry to get off the phone this time. At several points during the conversation, I wanted to scream, “HOW DO YOU NOT MISS THIS?” How did he not miss me? They couldn’t possibly have talks like this. She looked like she barely ever cracked a smile.
As I was driving back, for a moment I found myself with the renewed hope that maybe I could deal with this new normal. Maybe we could just be friends like this and I would actually be content with that, eventually. For once, I didn’t have that stabbing pain to the heart that I usually felt whenever I thought of him.
That was a nice reprieve for a few days. Brooke drove up rather unexpectedly to stay at my house later that week for another set of job interviews. We were lying around on my bed playing on our phones and she just happened to say, “Hey, let me see Katya’s Facebook page.” I was happy to oblige. Truthfully, I hadn’t looked at it in weeks. I saw no real point to it. I knew he was with her, no further proof necessary. I pulled up her profile and noticed right away that she had changed her photo to a black and white close-up. I had to admit she looked better there. Less pointy and bird-like and she was smiling. Naturally, I clicked on the photo for us to get a better look. Oh look… there were comments.
She was telling her friend she couldn’t wait to move to Florida. That she would be there by May, just before hurricane season was starting.
I’m sure I made some sort of choking on my own rage sound.
“Well, I’ll be damned. You were right! Shit, Mal, are you okay?” Brooke asked. “Guuurl, your breathing just sped like up crazy!”
“Yeah, I’m okay. Not like it’s anything I didn’t already know.”
Honestly, though, I wondered if I would ever be okay again.
****
That did it. The first opportunity I had, I went back and looked up emails from Katya. Probably all of them, going back six years. I didn’t care if I got caught anymore. I needed to know. I didn’t really expect to find anything new, but I just wanted to get a glimpse into their relationship. How did it begin? Did he pretend to be her friend first too? Someone she could always count on? Did he treat us the same way? As I began reading, and there were thousands, I could see so many similarities in the way he spoke to her about leaving his wife and the way he did to me. “I’m more determined than ever,” he’d say. “I’m just waiting for the right time.” Sure you are. It looked like he either bought or helped her buy her latest condo as well as her snotmobile of a car. I’m sure she really, really appreciated that. Anally. Gosh, and I fussed at him for slipping me a couple hundred bucks! I saw pictures that they had sent to each other. I bet every single picture he had sent to me over the last year was in her camera roll as well. He was so good at this by now. He probably just copied and pasted his texts too.
I feel like a kid again!
You’re like a drug to me!
I’m CRAZY about you!
I saw that she sent him a silly picture of herself posing in a department store wearing one of those feather hats. My first thought was… Wow, she is so skinny… and she has a giant schnozz. My second thought was that she even LOOKED crazy. But this is what he wanted. I took a picture of the picture with my phone, and one day when I was feeling particularly sorry for myself, I sent it to CeCe. Can you believe he chose her over me?
Oh honey, don’t you let that crazy witch with a chicken on her head bother you. Let me promise you, he will do the same thing to her. This is about him, not about you. You understand that, right? He is a serial asshole cheater. Do you want me to call his wife for you?
OMG CeCe!
I’m serious! I will go to her damn house. You do not mess with CeCe’s friends! I’ll meet that woman at Whole Foods, tell her exactly what is going on, buy a quiche and a cookie and go back to work with a clear conscience!
LMAO girl, I may take you up on that one day.
You just say the word. I’ll do it this second!
I loved my friends. We could always have a good laugh at his expense, and really, it couldn’t get any worse, right? I couldn’t possibly feel any more heartbroken. I had nowhere to go but up.
FALSE.
Brooke and I were talking on the phone one afternoon while she was in her office. She was busying herself by organizing her recipes. She had completely had it with assisting Matt in any way, if she could help it.
“You know, I was thinking. You remember when we talked about Matt before, and I said I just couldn’t put my finger on what it was, but that there was something not quite right?”
“Um, well, yes. But I think we figured out what wasn’t quite right, did we not?”
“Well, yes, there’s her, of course. But I’m not sure she is the only one.”
“Wait… what?” That sent a chill right up my spine.
“You remember I told you we had that Christmas party at the office? It was supposed to be all of our top clients, like a client appreciation type thing. And several women showed up, like fairly young… younger than him anyway.”
“Did Katya? Were they maybe friends of hers?” My tummy started hurting.
“No, she didn’t come.”
“These were more like your age… you know, mid to late 30’s.”
“Well, you know he networks pretty much everywhere he goes.”
“But they don’t even have like good jobs or anything. They’re like bartenders and shit. So it’s not like they would ever be his clients.”
“Biker friends?” Oh hell, by now I was trying to think of anything.
“No. I don’t think so. Anyway, one of them, I recognized. I didn’t know where from but I had seen her before. Her name is Erica.”
“Is she attractive?” Oh, this was not good.
“No, not really. Very worn skin. Not good up close. Fake tits, too. But it hit me today where I recognized her from.”
“Where?”
“When we went to that wine tasting at his favorite wine store, she was there. He met her there. I remember because he introduced us as if he had just met her too. So he’s been keeping in touch with her all this time because he also just invited her to some little party he’s throwing over at Strip. She’s the first email on the list.
“What?! But didn’t you say he’s always flirting with that other bartender chick over there?”
“Yeah, that little goofball definitely gives him the lingering eye. But I don’t know if he’s done anything with her.”
“Brooke…” Oh, this was bad. I already knew the answer to this question.
“Yeah?”
“When was the wine tasting, again?”
“October. Right after you guys went to Greensboro.”
“Oh God, I knew you were going to say that.”
“Why?”
“How much you wanna bet he met her and decided he needed a little time to get to know her to see if he liked her? I dunno, like maybe 30 DAYS?”
“Oh my God. What a fucking pig.”
“He threw me away for someone he literally just met.”
“Oh Mal, I’m really not sure that Katya was the issue at all now. I don’t think he has any problem cheating on her either.”
“No, obviously not. He was all gung ho to sleep with me again at the conference and he was definitely with her then,” I agreed, pausing for a minute. “Do you really think he would have done that to me? Kept me on the backburner like that, knowing how it was killing me, just so he could entertain yet another woman?”
“I most definitely do.”
“Wow. I mean absolutely nothing to this man. Not one fucking thing. He’s been playing me for a fool the entire time. He sat there and let me tear up my entire family knowing he didn’t even care about me at all.”
“You know, boo, I really don’t think he cares about anyone but himself.”
“Yeah, apparently so. I guess thi
s is just what he does for shits and giggles?”
“Girl, if I were you, I would get yourself checked out. Fast.”
“I was just thinking the same thing. Right after I figure out how I’m going to stop myself from telling his wife what an incredible liar he is. Was Katya invited to this party he’s having?”
“No, mysteriously she was NOT on the invite list.”
“Well, we wouldn’t want any members of his harem running into each other, now would we?”
As the days went on, my heartbreak took a turn. I found myself getting angrier and angrier. Crazy angry. It seemed like possible conquests came out of the woodwork each day. It might have been faster to take a survey of who wasn’t sleeping with this man. I had been so concerned with figuring out his relationship with Katya over the entire span of our relationship that I missed quite a few others. Ms. Lauchner, the “family” that Ivan stayed with? She was not so much a family but a very busty single woman. I was convinced now that I had been right about his real estate agent all along, and possibly her blonde sidekick too. I heard rumors of him texting the secretary of one of the advisors in another division, and he was offering his condo up to the girl who sold him his upgraded phone at AT&T. Sure, they could have all just been friends; he was such a friendly guy. But my gut had yet to be proven wrong.
I had been putting it off, but I finally broke down and made an appointment to go get myself checked out for STDs. When I explained that I needed an HIV test, they told me they would fit me in the very next day.
I honestly wasn’t that nervous. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but in my heart, I wanted to believe that he was careful with everyone else. I wanted to believe that I was special to him somehow, but it was probably just the fact that I had been married for so long that made him comfortable not using a condom with me. I just prayed that he had actually used it with everyone else he seemed to be sleeping with. At least until after me, because then it could rot off for all I cared.
I was really okay, just sitting up on the chair waiting. Then Dr. Paxton walked in and said, “So, what the hell happened?” As if someone flipped a switch, I started crying that cry where you are trying so hard not to that it comes out as a symphony of embarrassing snorts instead. She took one look at me, patted my leg, and said, “You know what? Don’t worry about it, we’ll just run everything.” How incredibly humiliating it was for me to have to go through this at 36. I’m sure she had seen it all, but not from me. I was more careful than this as a teenager. I guess I got dumber with age.
The Other Other Woman Page 41